Aunt Lori Alexander 24: Wearing Shorts and Kicking Cats

[usmcmom]

In response to the woman who basically told Brian H to get his own blog, these comments appeared. 

I am really surprised Lori let them through but I'm glad she did. 

[EowynW]

I like Brian. He is very gracious even to people he must strongly disagree with. 

[Koala]

Lori:

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The defrauding of one’s husband of sexual intimacy had severe consequences back in the day. A wife who deprived her husband was called rebellious, then sent away and was left destitute. 

Ahhh, the good ol' days when marriage was a steady sex, for steady money exchange, and a Godly Older Gossip Woman could rest assured that rebellious wives were being properly punished.

Not to worry Lori.  Everyone realizes that you married Ken for his money, and he married you because he likes sex and basketball.  Your marriage is an example to us all.  23  years of controlling and nagging, sabotaging your birth control, living on Big Salads...what's not to love?

[EowynW]

It really does sound like an awful way to view marriage. 

[onemama]

Oh my, the last paragraph from that post about staying attractive for your husband:

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 I can’t tell you how important accountability is in this battle against weight. Weighing yourself consistently is vital and even telling someone is good. Yes, it’s difficult but important to stay vigilant and it’s a lot easier to eat smaller portions and lose weight if you only have a few pounds to go rather than having many pounds to go. If you say you don’t have the discipline and self-control, you are lying to yourself. If you are a believe in Christ, one of the fruits of the spirit is self-control so Jesus inside of you has the self-control to eat less and lose some weight!

Notice the cruelty of those last two sentences. She really is awful.  Show some self-control in other areas, Lori. Try showing self-control when someone posts a reply that doesn't agree with your teaching. Try showing self-control and don't post about the woman who just had a divorce.  

On a different note, Lori sounds like she has a very unhealthy relationship with the scale. she's obsessed with her weight, and Ken is feeding her obsession.  Look at this comment:

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Maybe have your husband hold you accountable. Since January, I had gained 11 pounds because of hormone replacement therapy and I knew I didn’t want to gain more. Yes, I did need to gain some since I was so thin but I’ve decided on a weight that I don’t want to go over so Ken holds me accountable. Every morning I weigh and report to him! If I go a bit over, I eat less that day, especially at night and portion control is the number one way to lose weight and to keep it under control.

 

My husband would despair if I asked him to do that. He hated my fixation with my weight and the scale, and he was so relieved when I finally chucked the thing out.  He would never want to feed that obsession again! 

Lori, I think you need to know that your obsession with your weight is not healthy. 

[polecat]

8 minutes ago, EowynW said:

It really does sound like an awful way to view marriage. 

It does, and she must be absolutely eaten up with jealousy at the idea that other couples actually enjoy one another in many ways (not just sex but friendship, companionship, love, fun, etc.). 

[Joyce]

I just deleted 116 screenshots of Lori's blog and social media saved over 2 months. It's good to purge.

[Jellybean]

Yes, one of the fruits of the spirit (from Galatians 5) is self-control but there are others, including kindness, patience, love and gentleness. Lori seems to have the self-control nailed, but could do with a little more practice in others.

If Lori is in need of any pointers, love is discussed further in Paul's first letter to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 13): 

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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

[EowynW]

"

Men have been commenting on my blog almost since I began writing over six years ago. Cabinetman was a frequent commenter along with other. There is no Bible verse or rule that men can’t comment on my blog or teach women. I enjoy learning from them and getting their perspective. They know this blog is written for women. Any women who don’t want to read their comments, skip over them or don’t read any of the comments. 

I do want you to know that just because I publish the men’s comments doesn’t mean I always agree with them. I won’t argue with them, however, or try to “set them straight” since this isn’t my job nor what I am called to do. I ask Ken if he wants to respond and he almost always does."

 

hahaha I know for a fact she has deleted several comments from rational sane men once she saw them in her moderation box. 

[onemama]

25 minutes ago, Koala said:

Lori:

Ahhh, the good ol' days when marriage was a steady sex, for steady money exchange, and a Godly Older Gossip Woman could rest assured that rebellious wives were being properly punished.

Not to worry Lori.  Everyone realizes that you married Ken for his money, and he married you because he likes sex and basketball.  Your marriage is an example to us all.  23  years of controlling and nagging, sabotaging your birth control, living on Big Salads...what's not to love?

Male reader:

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Does this mean separation is permitted in such situations?

Our friend Trey, quick to reply on this topic:

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Many believe that divorce is justified by a refusing spouse based on classifying “refusal” as “sexual immorality” (Matthew 5:32; 19:9). It appears to me that “back in the day”, the Jews agreed.

In civil law still today, in many states and around the world, refusal of a spouse to have sex is not only considered constructive abandonment, but cruel and inhumane treatment and is considered a “fault” ground for divorce.

Sexual refusal, which is tolerated in the church (even encouraged in some circles) today is another one of the perverted effects of feminism with no punishment of the guilty or justice for the abused. Satan wins again and you are his daughters who practice such heinous behavior.

 

 

This man is hungry for the punishment of women, I think.  Look at what he had to say about women separating from abusive husbands (this is from his famous "chorizo" post):

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Without physical abuse, I do not see ANY justification for a wife to separate from her husband.

1 Corinthians 7:10 is pretty clear to me: “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.”

Literally, a wife MUST not (separate, depart, withdraw, vacate, or create space) from her husband.

We either read the Bible and believe (and obey) what it plainly says or we don’t.

 

But Trey ought to know that 1 Corinthians 7:10, AKA, the "chorizo" verse, is followed by verse 11, where Paul said:

" But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife."

It appears that the apostle Paul, who says this command is from him, not the Lord, 

1. understood that some women would leave their husbands 

2. had the same command for husbands who wanted to be rid of their wives.  Don't. 

Trey, you can't have it both ways. Remember what Jesus had to say about how we should treat one another?   31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. (Luke 6).    

 

[feministxtian]

19 minutes ago, polecat said:

It does, and she must be absolutely eaten up with jealousy at the idea that other couples actually enjoy one another in many ways (not just sex but friendship, companionship, love, fun, etc.). 

I really hate Lori's description of marriage as if it's nothing more than a business transaction. That's a crappy way to live. I mean, there are parts of marriage that are an if/then proposition...like, if I cook dinner, then you clean the kitchen or if you make the money I'll spend the money (sarcasm there)...but there's just so much more to marriage. **There's little things like a spouse calling out a doctor for being an ignorant shit when the other spouse is writhing in pain on one of those shitty hospital gurneys or one spouse telling the other to quit being such a cheapo and buy the better grade brake pads, or one spouse looking for pants that fit the other spouse and then telling that spouse to shut up when he fusses that they're too expensive or one spouse telling the other to plant her butt on the couch and let him take care of her for once. 

**these are all real situations over the course of our marriage...some of them are recent. 

[onemama]

17 minutes ago, Joyce said:

I just deleted 116 screenshots of Lori's blog and social media saved over 2 months. It's good to purge.

Good for you!  You followed her for a while, right?  I find her stuff messes with my head and need a break every now and then. I wouldn't want to keep a whole bunch of her nonsense on my computer. 

[RebelliousEscapee]

Currently grabbing screenshots from her facebook. Here's one that was apparently deleted seconds after I grabbed it. 

 

Spoiler

 

[NotQuiteMotY]

@RebelliousEscapee, that poor woman. I hope she finds a way out.

[onemama]

16 minutes ago, RebelliousEscapee said:

Currently grabbing screenshots from her facebook. Here's one that was apparently deleted seconds after I grabbed it. 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

No surprise there. Lori's heart is made of stone and she couldn't care less about that woman and what she has to live with. 

[Fluffy14]

Go back there is more. I don't have a clue how to do screen shots

 

[RebelliousEscapee]

13 minutes ago, Fluffy14 said:

Go back there is more. I don't have a clue how to do screen shots

 

Here are a few more -- so far they're still up, but I wouldn't be too surprised to see them disappear.

Spoiler

 

(Just noticed that Claire's reply is no longer there. I'm guessing it was marked as spam -- see next image.)

 

Spoiler

This reply thread has changed several times:

 

Spoiler

 

[louisa05]

Her first answer to Claire made my stomach quite literally turn. The woman is asking about how to handle trauma from past sexual abuse and Lori is telling her that she is "freed" from "sin". She didn't sin; she was a victim. Lori corrects it in the next post, but the implication is already there and the damage is done. 

She's the Wicked Bitch of the West. 

[polecat]

Commenter: "I love my husband and want to enjoy sex with him, but past trauma is making that difficult or impossible. Please help me!"

Ken: "Well, you first have to love your spouse and want to change. Otherwise, you're just defrauding him and being a self-centered you-know-what. Basically, it's your own fault because you won't let it go." 

 

Yet another time when these two go beyond their silly petty nonsense and fall all over themselves doing real, actual harm to real, actual, hurting people. 

ETA: Never mind. I reread what you were talking about.

[louisa05]

4 minutes ago, polecat said:

To be fair to Lori (although I really don't want to be), she did specify sins done against her rather than sins she committed -- meaning the abuser's sins, not Claire's sins. 

In the second response. Not in the first. 

[Beermeet]

Horrible.  All of it.  I need to not view this thread for a while.  

[Imrlgoddess]

Quote

Lori:

  Quote

The defrauding of one’s husband of sexual intimacy had severe consequences back in the day. A wife who deprived her husband was called rebellious, then sent away and was left destitute. 

Ahhh, the good ol' days when marriage was a steady sex, for steady money exchange, and a Godly Older Gossip Woman could rest assured that rebellious wives were being properly punished.

Not to worry Lori.  Everyone realizes that you married Ken for his money, and he married you because he likes sex and basketball.  Your marriage is an example to us all.  23  years of controlling and nagging, sabotaging your birth control, living on Big Salads...what's not to love?

Is this even a thing?  I know there are provisions for alienation of affection but that's typically used these days for folks who cheat.  Does she actually, personally know any couples who split up because of this?  Or is this another "they said" or "probably" thing?

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Her response here is a real hoot. 

We are responding BUT  we encourage you to find a godly, older women to help you "in person". In other words, we want nothing to do with you!!  When has she used the in person excuse before?

I think she doesn't like people who ask a lot of questions. And Claire is really going on and on. That stumps Lori too much plus she doesn't have the patience. Lori just wants to lecture not teach and doesn't want questions for any of her students. 

[Fluffy14]

Biggest douche ass hole answer ever.

Claire Adrian The Transformed Wife I do believe. That is why I am a Christian now. I just can't make feelings go away when we have sex. That's what I meant when I said I would try harder. How can sex be better even if my husband is nice but inside I am screaming? How can that be sin?

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11

· 28 minutes agoManage

Josh Holmes If you love your husband and truly believe him to be different than your past... then your mind should be able to completely differentiate that.
Although if you are lacking control of your own body as you say, then the best case would have been to wait to get married until the both of you could feel comfor

Claire Adrian The Transformed Wife I do believe. That is why I am a Christian now. I just can't make feelings go away when we have sex. That's what I meant when I said I would try harder. How can sex be better even if my husband is nice but inside I am screaming? How can that be sin?

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· Reply ·

11

· 36 minsManage

Josh Holmes If you love your husband and truly believe him to be different than your past... then your mind should be able to completely differentiate that.
Although if you are lacking control of your own body as you say, then the best case would have been to wait to get married until the both of you could feel comfortable enough to become 1.

L

· 8 minsManage

The Transformed Wife Claire Adrian if you truly believed that you are dead and freed from you sin and your past and that you are now a new creature in Christ, you would have no problem being intimate with your husband.

Li

AS a survivor of childhood rape....I would kill this man and her with my bare teeth.

[louisa05]

7 minutes ago, Fluffy14 said:

Biggest douche ass hole answer ever.

Josh Holmes If you love your husband and truly believe him to be different than your past... then your mind should be able to completely differentiate that.
Although if you are lacking control of your own body as you say, then the best case would have been to wait to get married until the both of you could feel comfortable enough to become 1.

 

AS a survivor of childhood rape....I would kill this man with my bare teeth.

Clearly this man has never dealt with any kind of abuse (as a victim--I'm not convinced that assholes like this have not been on the other side of the equation). I posted in another thread today about the panic and anxiety I sometimes experience when situations recall my time in a spiritually abusive Christian school. And that was not physical or sexual abuse. It doesn't matter that I know in my logical mind that I am not in that place, certain situations can still trigger that anxiety.