Aunt Lori Alexander 24: Wearing Shorts and Kicking Cats

[EowynW]

"Since January, I had gained 11 pounds because of hormone replacement therapy and I knew I didn’t want to gain more. Yes, I did need to gain some since I was so thin but I’ve decided on a weight that I don’t want to go over so Ken holds me accountable."

 

i really thimk she has an an eating disorder. Or some very warped thinking about her weight. 

[Jellybean]

I agree that Lori seems to have quite a controlling and rigid way of thinking about her weight and food - it's such a shame that something so essential and pleasurable can also be the source of so much fear and judgement. Not much different from her views on sex, for that matter. 

On someone of Lori's size 11 lb would make a big difference, wouldn't it? I'm not very good at working in lb but that would probably be somewhere in the region of 10% of her total weight? Think about how much that would be for your own starting size?

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Brian H. says:

July 13, 2017 at 7:35 am

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Science is showing us more and more that many women are also visually stimulated. My wife is and many of the women she ministers too are as well. So I would be careful to say it’s a male only thing.

If a man is looking at women, mentally undressing them and thinking about sex with them then he is in engaging in lust and is in sin. I feel for this wife who has a mentally unfaithful husband. This is not should not be accepted as normal male behavior. You can notice someone you find attractive but then immediately move on so as to not dwell on it. I am 52 years old and I have never once mentally undressed a woman. We did not raise our sons this way either. If one of my daughters was dating a man with this issue, we would strongly suggest against such a relationship because often mental unfaithfulness heads into, or is already hand in hand with porn use. A man who views women solely as a body to have sex with is not an honorable man. Women are people first. With hearts and souls.

About the weight. Guys, if you hardline expecting your wife to look a certain way than you better return the favor. Spouses should never ever nag or demean each other about their weight. Strive for health? Yes! But tearing another person down is wrong. Trying to stay ahead of 5 kids is an Olympic feat. But slowly we are getting the house back to ourselves. My wife is about 30 pounds heavier than when we married, 30 years ago. I’m 45 pounds heavier. I think it’s just that more to hold onto while in bed, personally.  The longer I am married, I find it’s about more than just looks. It’s about companionship, friendship, laughter and knowing the heart and soul of the one you live life with. Sex just gets better and better when it’s with the one whom your soul loves.

 

Reply

Lori Alexander says:

July 13, 2017 at 8:33 am

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Her husband does this no longer since he is a believer, Brian, thankfully, but most men today weren’t raised by godly parents who taught them how to flee all forms of sexual immorality so it seems they would easily go where their flesh leads them.

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Is $27 really that cheap for that organic produce (seem like her privilege is showing again)? The Pearls and Laine talk about feeding a family of 6 plus for like 10 or 30 dollar a week. So, if Lori thinks 27 is cheap then I guess that is suppose to feed an entire large family for a week. 

[EowynW]

6 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Is $27 really that cheap for that organic produce (seem like her privilege is showing again)? The Pearls and Laine talk about feeding a family of 6 plus for like 10 or 30 dollar a week. So, if Lori thinks 27 is cheap then I guess that is suppose to feed an entire large family for a week. 

Yea we grew up that dirt poor and you eat a lottttttt of starches to get by that way. My love of carbs was birthed from the poor years as a kid. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

1 hour ago, Jellybean said:

1 hour ago, Jellybean said:

Weight can be such a hard and emotive topic - I guess that most, if not all, of us here have been unhappy with our weight or body shape at some point, and that a lot of us have received criticism from others about it. 

Like Lori, I've had health problems for a long time. One of those problems affects my ability to eat and I lost about 18 kg (almost 40 lb) in less than 3 months. The weight was there to be lost (thankfully) but it really scared me. The nurse at the nutrition clinic checked my weight and compared it to the measurement from my previous appointment and her reaction was so far from what I'd expected that it almost made me laugh. She didn't seem worried that I'd dropped  almost 1/4 of my body weight unintentionally in a very short period of time - she was impressed and jealous and wanted me to tell her my secret. I reminded her of my diagnosis but she wouldn't let it go - she wanted details of whether she should use laxatives to give herself diarrhoea or try to vomit, etc. Thinking back on it, that's pretty disordered thinking. I probably should have mentioned it to someone. 

I'm not sure I'm quite at the body positivity stage yet, but I try very hard to think of all the things my body has endured and to be grateful for its function rather than judging it on looks alone. I have scars that trace out a physical story, lines from pain (and smiling a lot!); bits I can feel and bits I can't; bits that work and bits that don't; swollen bits and sunken bits; missing bits and extra bits, and I'm still here. I try to take care of my body and part of that includes being kind in the way I think about it. 

I wish Lori could see the blessings in her body despite the health problems she's endured. For someone of her age and stated medical history she seems to be on very few medications, and though she is bothered by pain, her body can still do many of the things she wants to do. Withholding important nutrients and focusing so hard on her weight as the only indicator of health isn't as healthy a lifestyle as she seems to think. Please, Lori-followers, don't take medical advice from Lori Alexander. Your bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made but they can't function at their best without fuel and maintenance. 

Love your bodies, people! They are the carriers of the very essence of everything that makes you unique and precious, and that makes them precious and beautiful too. 

May I share on the Undeleted site?

Spoiler

 

I think I like Brian.

[quiversR4hunting]

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

 

I am brand new to my weight loss journey, but Mr. EW isn't why I'm doing it. Not at all. I'm doing it for me. 

Good for you! Studies have shown (can't go looking for them right now) that looking weight for someone else doesn't work in the long run. You need to do it for yourself. 

55 minutes ago, Jellybean said:

On someone of Lori's size 11 lb would make a big difference, wouldn't it? I'm not very good at working in lb but that would probably be somewhere in the region of 10% of her total weight?

Yes it would. I'm shorter than her, 5'2.5" and last year I weighed 145lbs, this year I weigh about 135lbs and a lot of people have noticed. 

52 year old Brian H. Sounds much to practical for Lori.

[Jellybean]

I like Brian too, @Free Jana Duggar! I hope that stays - it's such a nice counterpoint to the mental undressing comment, isn't it?

And yes, I'd be happy for you to quote me - hopefully it's a little less like preaching to the choir than here, but without posting on Lori's Facebook page directly - thank you

[SuperNova]

@Jellybean That was beautifully written and well said. It is essence of the strength and endurance it takes to live with illness and keep going. 

 

What a waste of internet space is Lori and her stupid blog. Teaching women to love themselves should have been the lesson but once again she's missed the mark. I'm an atheist but I'm sure there's scripture to support loving oneself?  Couldn't she teach that? 

[Koala]

Lori:

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 I love to be convicted and challenged with truth

Really?  Because when you were confronted with the TRUTH of those pictures, you deleted them in a hurry, and you sure didn't act like you were convicted, or thank anyone for challenging you.  

Another Lori fat shaming throw back:

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Would your husband like you to lose weight?  Ask him

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Some men like some meat on their women. You must ask him how much meat he likes!

Treat yourself like an item at the grocery store!  It's the godly way.

[EowynW]

I am not meat. I am not an investment. According to my husband I am EwoynW. Badass, warrior woman & sexy as hell. Even 80 pounds overweight. 

This topic is insanely difficult to me as I get flashbacks to my dad saying "I'd never get a husband if I let myself go like that." 

[Koala]

You're looking at what happens when a woman marries for money, and a man marries for sex.  

They are in no way reflective of a normal couple.  My husband thinks Ken is a nutcase.  And a creep.

[AuntKrazy]

3 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

breannacontravoYum! How do you use all these before they go bad?

thetransformedwife@breannacontravo we have a big salad every day and I'm having company! They told me the lettuce will last a week.

That does not look like much for $27. . . I do much better at farmers' markets.  I bought about 5 times that for a family event (about 50 people) last summer for about $20.

[AuntKrazy]

32 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I am not meat. I am not an investment. According to my husband I am EwoynW. Badass, warrior woman & sexy as hell. Even 80 pounds overweight. 

This topic is insanely difficult to me as I get flashbacks to my dad saying "I'd never get a husband if I let myself go like that." 

I wish I could give you a hug.  My mother was the critical one.  The irony is I met my husband when I stopped trying to be thinner/wear makeup, etc.  I am healthy, about 60lbs overweight (much of it gained after I had to have my thryoid removed), and hardly ever wear the makeup my mother swore I needed.  In fact, it was when I focused on being authentic that I met my husband.  And he LOVES natural - he likes me in sweats and t-shirt and mussed hair as much as dressed to the nines.

The problem is Lori does not understand love or affection - it's all earned in her worldview.  I would venture so far to say that such a worldview denies the gospel.  Love and affection are freely given.  And you, EowynW. Badass, warrior woman know and understand love far more than Lori, at a far younger age.  :-)  So perhaps we should also add "wise" to your list.

[Curious]

4 hours ago, molecule said:

Does she actually think that the primary reason for divorce is that women have let themselves go, or that we don't treat our husbands like kings?

Probably because her source of information from men seems to be Ken and a bunch of weird, and/or divorced MRAs who can't figure out why they don't have women falling all over themselves to be a slave.

[feministxtian]

Don't know where she got her veggies but I think she got ripped off. We went bonkers at Sprouts yesterday. Blueberries (YUM), bananas, avocado, apples, onions, tomatoes, lettuce and spinach leaves...and our favorite quick dinner stuff, bacon and milk. 50bucks. Oh, and gummi bears and honey roasted peanuts too. 

Again, that dumb bitch has NO CLUE how to stretch a buck to make it scream. 

Husbands & weight gain...I've gained every bit of at least 50 lbs since we got married 19 years ago. I don't think he even notices. I stand in front of a mirror and bitch about my gravity grabbed boobs, the flabby, ugly-ass, stretch-marked skin on my belly, and he tells me to knock it off...that to him I'm beautiful, sexy, desirable, and loved more than he can ever say. Betcha that's something Lori has NEVER heard from Ken.

[EowynW]

6 minutes ago, AuntKrazy said:

I wish I could give you a hug.  My mother was the critical one.  The irony is I met my husband when I stopped trying to be thinner/wear makeup, etc.  I am healthy, about 60lbs overweight (much of it gained after I had to have my thryoid removed), and hardly ever wear the makeup my mother swore I needed.  In fact, it was when I focused on being authentic that I met my husband.  And he LOVES natural - he likes me in sweats and t-shirt and mussed hair as much as dressed to the nines.

The problem is Lori does not understand love or affection - it's all earned in her worldview.  I would venture so far to say that such a worldview denies the gospel.  Love and affection are freely given.  And you, EowynW. Badass, warrior woman know and understand love far more than Lori, at a far younger age.  :-)  So perhaps we should also add "wise" to your list.

Thank you for your sweet words. I needed to hear that. 

Oh my mother was up there with my dad. She agreed with him. And would kindly suggest maybe I should work harder to get thinner in an effort to get shy Mr. EW to notice me sooner. After all "you can't expect him to notice you when you are heavy like his mom. She has an excuse because she's older she had children, but he's a young man and he shouldn't have to expect to marry someone that looks like that." 

I love my parents but fuck that shit. I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Picked all these for $9.  How can such an ungodly person manage that?

[feministxtian]

2 minutes ago, EowynW said:

Oh my mother was up there with my dad. She agreed with him. And would kindly suggest maybe I should work harder to get thinner in an effort to get shy Mr. EW to notice me sooner. After all "you can't expect him to notice you when you are heavy like his mom. She has an excuse because she's older she had children, but he's a young man and he shouldn't have to expect to marry someone that looks like that." 

Where are your parents and I'll be bringing my baseball bat. 

[KnittingOwl]

I like Brian. He seems like a reasonable guy. 

I've gained probably 100 pounds since Mr Owl and I started dating. Combination of getting older, thyroid disease, and unhealthy eating habits. I definitely have disordered eating. I'm sure he notices, but he doesn't act like he does. He tries to reassure me that he still loves me and finds me attractive. If anything, the insecurities I have cause more problems than my actual weight. 

[Curious]

16 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Picked all these for $9.  How can such an ungodly person manage that?

Now I want strawberry shortcake.  My husband makes great shortcake, so I'm going to email him a request for dessert tonight.   I wish we had a place around here to go pick fresh fruits.  I'd totally go watch my husband picking fruit for us

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Has Lori ever read that  things labelled organic might not actually be organic -- just more expensive. Oh and just because you bought it at Whole Paycheck Foods doesn't make it better or healthier.

Mr. Dress does the grocery shopping and comes home with at least 3-4 times as much produce/ fruit from the city market (operating since 1927) for about $15 -- and this past Sat. he indulged in a lb of asparagus.  We eat a lot of veg and salads, usually, 2 veg and a salad every night with whatever protein I make. We like vegetables (all kinds) and I grew up eating out of my daddy's huge garden (plus all the canning and freezing we did that carried over the rest of the year).  So, although I hate using her words -- nutritious cooking 'r us. This doesn't mean that sweet things never pass our lips.  I never met a piece of chocolate i didn't like.

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

I am EwoynW. Badass, warrior woman & sexy as hell. . 

Mr. EW is a heckuva man.  I hope you believe him when he says that,  EowynW, because as I know you from FJ you are all of that and more.  Obviously your parents were wrong.  I guess they don't believe the heart wants what the heart wants.

Ken will never, ever, ever, never see Lori as a badass, warrior woman and sexy.  A shame really because I think that's what Ken truly wants (not deserves).  But then Lori is none of those things. 

Oh ---- hi Lori. Thanks for dropping by.  (Wave)

And finally -- Thank God for Brian H interjecting some common sense and normal thoughts from a real, truly godly man into Lori and the fangirls blather.  Hopefully someone(s) took his comment to heart.

 

[Koala]

Brian:

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We Christians keep the mindset going by telling men they are weak slaves to their sex drives. And it can’t be helped because “God made them that way.” Then telling them that the responsibility for keeping them in line is all on women for how they dress and act. Which isn’t scriptural but sadly it’s part of our culture here.

Wonder what The Godly Gossip will say to that...

Lori:

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When I had young children and my life was crazy, every day I would load one on my back or the rest on the stroller and go for a walk in order to get exercise. 

Wait a minute...how many times has she told us she couldn't do _________ because she was sooooooooo sick.  

She couldn't give her kids a bedtime routine because she was too sick.  She couldn't play with her kids because she was too sick.  She couldn't teach her kids to do things because she was too sick.  She couldn't clean her house or care for her baby because she was too sick.

Now she's claiming she was walking the neighborhood pushing a stroller with a baby strapped to her back?  Huh?

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Lori is a f**king liar who lies.  Constantly.  Continually.  About.  Everything. 

That is all.

[usmcmom]

Oh I did the stroller thing too - walking outside every day (except NOT). I tell you what!  Pushing that stroller through twelve inches of Illinois snow gave me ARMS TO DIE FOR!  And if we'd had an ice storm?  No worries, I just strapped on my speed skates, put the sled runners on the stroller and off we went!!  When I came inside, face red and stinging from being pelted with blowing snow and ice crystals, I always just slathered myself with coconut oil and whale blubber. Organic whale blubber.  

(Attention: the above is pure sarcasm!)

I did get the kids out of the house as much as I could in winter. Thankfully we live near a mall and I'd take them to the center stage are and tell them to run up and down the stairs. "You kids run and Mama will count!  Really, I'll count. RUN!!"  I only bring this up because it sparked a memory. 

The point is, LORI, that not everybody lives in an area where they can walk outside all year or go to a Farmers' market most months. Many of us do, however, live where women don't run around half naked like they appear to do in Californaia.