Aunt Lori Alexander 24: Wearing Shorts and Kicking Cats

[Texas Toast]

Okay...so just to gently wade into the "modesty clothing" stakes, the one time I wore a maxi skirt, I tripped on it and split my lower lip open. I think that's God's way of saying "thou shalt wear shorter skirts and not kill thine self." Amen.

I'm not convinced Lori is what she says she is. I think she worked out her schtick, started a blog and is going to sell that message to make money, come hell or high water. I don't think she believes it for a moment. She just a snake oil salesman playing to the hearts of gullible uneducated women. She's scrambling with this whole skirt controversy but her minions will lap up whatever she tells them. And then she'll sell her books and rack up her page clicks. In her real life though, I firmly believe she's living a very different lifestyle than the one she's selling. 

[desertvixen]

@Koala, as always, I give you a slow clap for your translations of Lori!

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I can totally see serving a visiting adult child (not *just* a son, but a daughter as well). Teens need to learn to do things for themselves, though.  Her sons should have been taught to do their laundry, make meals when needed, and clean up their messes.  That's part of the job-teaching them to take care of themselves.  Moms aren't built in servants, and neither are wives.

Don't get me wrong, family should definitely do things to help each other, and make life easier, but the idea of a mother serving her sons because God made them to be served?  No.  That doesn't sit right with me at all....As a side note, in one of her Youtube videos, Ken came in to make his own breakfast.  Why didn't Lori get off the internet, and serve him?

I think using the word "served" in that context is just creepy.  Like when I'm home on vacation, my mom will make certain foods that I prefer, but I definitely pitch in and help clean, keep things tidy, put stuff away - not because I'm a woman, but because I'm an adult.  It's consideration, which it seems no one in that household has.

[Joyce]

Maybe Lori's service to her sons has another purpose--to ensure that they will take care of her if she becomes a widow.

[Curious]

6 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

It's just all so vague and nebulous. It sounds so...so ...fake.  She writes as if she was on death's door, but then tells us she home schooled, drove her kids to the beach and Awana, and made wonderful nutritious meals salads. 

I have wondered about this as well.  Most people that I am familiar with that have a chronic illness of some kind will share details at different points in their conversations.   I am probably more open about that kind of thing than others, but I am "convicted" of helping others not suffer the same things I have due to, in some cases, my own stubborness.

I know at some point, Ken said she had "parasites" and apparently one of the kids did as well.  Since we don't live in a developing country, I'm pretty sure that most parasites are treatable.  She doesn't travel to exotic places, so any parasite she contracted should have been relatively run of the mill.

I've long thought her "illness" was an allergy to actual work

[mango_fandango]

Lori talks such a bunch of shit I have no idea what's true and what's not. She probably was ill in some way but I wouldn't put it past Lori to exaggerate/play certain bits up to make it sound worse than it actually was.

[kpmom]

IIRC, Lori says she had some sort of car accident and that's what led to her chronic pain.  This happened very early in her marriage, so it's been going on for almost 30 years.

I've always wondered about her vague illnesses too.  She says she has missed family events due to her pain/illnesses, and almost missed her son's wedding.

Not accusing, but I've wondered if she has a dependence on pain medication.  It doesn't seem like ice packs alone would be enough for pain so bad you almost miss your son's wedding.

[polecat]

10 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Ok, this is probably BEC, but I am so totally and completely tired of hearing that Lori was a "very sick wife" for most of her marriage.

Until her tumor a few years ago -- what the hell was wrong with her??!!  All we ever see is her saying she had a bad gut or that she was very sick.  So sick that she spent most of the time lying down with an ice pack -- er -- bag of organic frozen peas -- on her head,  So sick she needed a nanny and a housekeeper.  But sick with what? What chronic illness did she have?

It's just all so vague and nebulous. It sounds so...so ...fake.  She writes as if she was on death's door, but then tells us she home schooled, drove her kids to the beach and Awana, and made wonderful nutritious meals salads. 

Personally, except for the tumor, I don't think she was sick at all.

 

Well, I feel guilty for saying it, but I agree with you. She might have been nutritionally deficient as someone else mentioned, which left her feeling run-down or weak, but all those days she took to her bed like a Victorian lady too weak with the vapors (erm, gas?) to do any actual work? Nah. 

It's an unfortunate stereotype that people "fake it," but I think in this particular case and this particular woman, there happened to be a lot of "faking it" going on in a lot of different areas of her life. Faking love, faking birth control use, faking interest in sex, faking illness to get out of work, faking flipping everything in her life. 

[delphinium65]

4 hours ago, Curious said:

I know at some point, Ken said she had "parasites" and apparently one of the kids did as well.  Since we don't live in a developing country, I'm pretty sure that most parasites are treatable.  She doesn't travel to exotic places, so any parasite she contracted should have been relatively run of the mill.

I've long thought her "illness" was an allergy to actual work

Treatable, unless you're bound and determined to rely on black salve and other such 'treatments' to fix all of your ailments.  

[BlackSheep]

Lori's reply to a comment under her "live like your [sic] loved" doodle.

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Thank you for sharing, Ivy. Just know that it's not your work that will change you; it's the Word of God that transforms us.

Wait, so it doesn't matter whether I submit to my husband, have a job or wear leggings? Make up your mind, woman.

[polecat]

From Lori's blog: 

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... as one woman shared in the chat room (who has a very honest husband) that when he sees a beautiful and immodestly dressed woman he mentally undresses her and pictures himself having sex with her. 

 

Didn't Lori just go on a bender explaining how it was okay for her to have her tush hanging out because no decent Christian man would EVER lust after her for it? Now today, men are fantasizing about having sex with her? Or is it okay because she's not beautiful?

[Koala]

Another post about weight.  Holy Christ, I am sick of hearing about it.

Lori:

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 Women should not be ridiculed for wanting to look good for their husbands or for wanting to please them. Why do we think there are so many divorces today? Even Christian woman don’t make much of an effort to look good and serve their husbands because selfishness and “it’s all about me” is the motto of our day and age.

Yes, Lori.  People are getting divorced because women are fat and don't wear enough make up.

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 I can’t tell you how important accountability is in this battle against weight. Weighing yourself consistently is vital and even telling someone is good. 

[BlackSheep]

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Women should not be ridiculed for wanting to look good for their husbands or for wanting to please them. Why do we think there are so many divorces today?

I agree - there's nothing wrong with wanting to look good for your husband, and wanting to make him happy. But saying that to not do so is a major cause of divorce? Please. If a husband divorces his wife because she gained some weight and didn't want to be submissive and wait on him hand and foot - then he did her a favor by hitting the road.

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Even Christian woman don’t make much of an effort to look good and serve their husbands ...

"Even Christian women" - as if it's our godly duty to look good for our husbands. It isn't.

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... because selfishness and “it’s all about me” is the motto of our day and age.

"It's all about me" could (and should) be the name of her blog.

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It’s called moderation and being temperate in all things which we, as believers, are called to do.

Including being temperate with our time online. She spends more time daily hovering over her blog, FB, Instagram, and chat room, not to mention researching, writing, editing, commenting, taking pics, etc., than I do at work.

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Knowing that it’s important for your husband should give you even more incentive to stay in shape and look pretty for him (not in sweats and a t-shirt all day long).

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. I'll inform my husband that he can no longer slouch around in sweats and a t-shirt.

[molecule]

Lori would have a conniption fit if she saw me. I'm about 80 pounds overweight, I have huge saggy boobs, most of my tops show cleavage, and I haven't thought in terms of looking good as a way of pleasing my husband since the 80s.  And I'm a Christian woman who is in marriage ministry and who doesn't give a hoot about housework. I do, however, love a good big salad with my homemade dressing that does not include raw eggs.

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Women should not be ridiculed for wanting to look good for their husbands or for wanting to please them. Why do we think there are so many divorces today? 

Does she actually think that the primary reason for divorce is that women have let themselves go, or that we don't treat our husbands like kings?

Lori's obsession with what Ken sees on other women's bodies, maintaining her own weight, and wearing things that please him makes me wonder where that came from. Did Ken say or do something that made her so paranoid? 

[BlackSheep]

Lori is making this waaaay too easy today.

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selfishness and “it’s all about me” is the motto of our day and age.

"It's all about me" is wrong.

"It's all about him" is also wrong.

[polecat]

7 minutes ago, molecule said:

snipped for brevity

Lori's obsession with what Ken sees on other women's bodies, maintaining her own weight, and wearing things that please him makes me wonder where that came from. Did Ken say or do something that made her so paranoid? 

 

I can't help but wonder if Ken's occasionally checked out a curvier-than-thou type and she's just reminding herself that SHE hasn't let herself go like THAT heifer over there! HaRUMPH. 

 

[molecule]

Just now, polecat said:

I can't help but wonder if Ken's occasionally checked out a curvier-than-thou type and she's just reminding herself that SHE hasn't let herself go like THAT heifer over there! HaRUMPH. 

 

That's exactly what I was wondering. If he enjoys looking at thong-clad bootyliciousness or boobs big enough to sag, then that would explain a lot.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Lori:

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Maybe have your husband hold you accountable. Since January, I had gained 11 pounds because of hormone replacement therapy and I knew I didn’t want to gain more. Yes, I did need to gain some since I was so thin but I’ve decided on a weight that I don’t want to go over so Ken holds me accountable. Every morning I weigh and report to him! If I go a bit over, I eat less that day, especially at night and portion control is the number one way to lose weight and to keep it under control.

We just can’t eat all we want, what we want, and when we want; for we are no longer controlled by the flesh! You can do it because you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you! If you have lost 12 kg, you can lose 15 kg but you do need to stop binge eating, Zanete. Learn to have a few bites and then stop. Say “no” to your flesh and “yes” to righteousness.

 

 

[EowynW]

"... as one woman shared in the chat room (who has a very honest husband) that when he sees a beautiful and immodestly dressed woman he mentally undresses her and pictures himself having sex with her. "

 

That is not normal. That's not even a moment of attraction. That is lust. That husband needs some help. You can't stop a bird from pooping on your head as it flies over but you can damn well make sure it doesn't build a nest. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

No to your flesh? Can women say no to sex then?

[Imrlgoddess]

Well Lori....if keeping weight down was such a high priority to men in general..... why, on Gaia's green earth, did my first husband have pages of internet sites featuring women larger than I am now...when I was thin and fit enough to whip my weight in bobcats?  hmm?  (and yes, I'm fairly "healthy"-as my mom would put it- these days)

Not every single man likes a teeny woman!!  Self discipline comes in many forms, one of them is keeping your ignorant judgy comments to yourself!  But I guess since she doesn't have any hormones the idea of there being weight loss road blocks is totally lost on her. 

 

ETA: sorry ladies, I'm a bit "rawr" this morning. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

breannacontravoYum! How do you use all these before they go bad?

thetransformedwife@breannacontravo we have a big salad every day and I'm having company! They told me the lettuce will last a week.

[molecule]

7 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

 

That produce looks delicious, but how many meals would it provide for a family of, say 4? A mom with limited income who is trying to stretch the family's food dollar might be able to make more meals for that $27 if she were buying canned or frozen veggies, chicken, and potatoes.

[EowynW]

"began following Danielle Walker (Against All Grain) on Instagram recently. She gained 65 pounds while she was pregnant and soon after her birth, she shared that she had already lost 30 pounds and wanted to lose the rest so she would feel good and look good for her husband. Her  plan was to not eat sugar and eat Paleo. Women went berserk over this and ridiculed her for saying this! “How dare you want to lose weight for a man!”

i went and found that and not one woman was "berserk" and not one women said "how dare you want to lose weight for a man." 

 

I am brand new to my weight loss journey, but Mr. EW isn't why I'm doing it. Not at all. I'm doing it for me. 

[Koala]

18 minutes ago, EowynW said:

i went and found that and not one woman was "berserk" and not one women said "how dare you want to lose weight for a man." 

Lori lies.  Sometimes she has to for the sake of her "message".  Because Jesus.

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as one woman shared in the chat room (who has a very honest husband) that when he sees a beautiful and immodestly dressed woman he mentally undresses her and pictures himself having sex with her.

So this freak is picturing himself having sex with every woman he meets, and Lori's take away is that he's "very honest".  

He's not honest, Lori, he's a pervert.  

Naturally, Lori blames everyone but the man responsible.  It's his wife's fault for not being pretty enough, and weighing too much.  It's the fault of the woman he's leering at, for being too immodest.  Everyone is to blame, except the person who's actually to blame.

Time for a Lori throwback:

Feb. 2014

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Christian women need to be told the truth about men ~

Men are attracted to youth and looks. This is normal. Men are not evil, base or perverted for being attracted to youth and beauty. Young Christian girl, if you are not getting approached or asked out, it’s probably because you’re not attractive enough, you’re not nice enough or you’re not available enough. You need to work on this. You need to lose weight, grow your hair out, wear nice clothes and some decent makeup. You might be a b****, and if you are, you need to be nicer. If you really want to find a man and marry, then you need to get serious about it while you’re young. 

To demonstrate just how much of her audience has been lost, there were 233 comments on that post:

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/02/the-truth-about-men.html

[Jellybean]

Weight can be such a hard and emotive topic - I guess that most, if not all, of us here have been unhappy with our weight or body shape at some point, and that a lot of us have received criticism from others about it. 

Like Lori, I've had health problems for a long time. One of those problems affects my ability to eat and I lost about 18 kg (almost 40 lb) in less than 3 months. The weight was there to be lost (thankfully) but it really scared me. The nurse at the nutrition clinic checked my weight and compared it to the measurement from my previous appointment and her reaction was so far from what I'd expected that it almost made me laugh. She didn't seem worried that I'd dropped  almost 1/4 of my body weight unintentionally in a very short period of time - she was impressed and jealous and wanted me to tell her my secret. I reminded her of my diagnosis but she wouldn't let it go - she wanted details of whether she should use laxatives to give herself diarrhoea or try to vomit, etc. Thinking back on it, that's pretty disordered thinking. I probably should have mentioned it to someone. 

I'm not sure I'm quite at the body positivity stage yet, but I try very hard to think of all the things my body has endured and to be grateful for its function rather than judging it on looks alone. I have scars that trace out a physical story, lines from pain (and smiling a lot!); bits I can feel and bits I can't; bits that work and bits that don't; swollen bits and sunken bits; missing bits and extra bits, and I'm still here. I try to take care of my body and part of that includes being kind in the way I think about it. 

I wish Lori could see the blessings in her body despite the health problems she's endured. For someone of her age and stated medical history she seems to be on very few medications, and though she is bothered by pain, her body can still do many of the things she wants to do. Withholding important nutrients and focusing so hard on her weight as the only indicator of health isn't as healthy a lifestyle as she seems to think. Please, Lori-followers, don't take medical advice from Lori Alexander. Your bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made but they can't function at their best without fuel and maintenance. 

Love your bodies, people! They are the carriers of the very essence of everything that makes you unique and precious, and that makes them precious and beautiful too.