Dillards 32: To VBAC or not to VBAC

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

2 minutes ago, speller24 said:

Oh man, me too! Poor guy, freshman in college and I had to show him how to separate whites and colors. And it was a pretty common thing to see at my school. Lots of confused 18 year old guys. 

This was my life mission, to teach my son how to do laundry, he's 19 and can successfully do laundry. This goal was achieved and I realized last month my 17 yr old DD can't do laundry, doesn't know the difference between soap and fabric softener, and where what goes in the machine, she can sort so there is that.  I went off to college and my 1st weekend home with ALL my laundry my mom was pissed , but she wouldn't let me near her washing machine because I would "ruin it" my mom is a crazy control freak and clean freak and just plain crazy.   I had to have my friend show me how to do laundry, and to cook and to be a normal person.  

[MadeItOut]

Anyone else like documentaries?

I found Ricki Lake's 'the business of being born' really interesting and it addressed a lot of my general questions about how the whole thing works in the estates.

 

For those to young to be reasonable (I'm joking - but you all do make a gal feel old you know! ) Ricki Lake was a successful talkshow host who chucked it all in to retrain as a midwife.

[speller24]

The more I think about the changes in D Wreck the more concerned I grow about the safety of Jill, and the kids. He seems so unstable. I mean he has been through a lot in a short amount of time, but his running away from all the problems to Danger America seems like the biggest red flag. Like one day the problems will all catch up to him and he's going to snap. Do you think Jim Boob would interfere and  set him straight? 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

14 minutes ago, speller24 said:

Like one day the problems will all catch up to him and he's going to snap. Do you think Jim Boob would interfere and  set him straight? 

I would like to think if he turned abusive or volatile he would step in to help his daughter and grandchildren.  Or if he won't one of her brothers, or brothers in law, since patriarchy and all. Help her by allowing her a place to stay until she can care for her and the kids herself, or until D gets his shit together.  I would also like to think that Cathy would step in and try and help D get it together, and help with the grands if Jill needs it.

[Kangaroo]

My older brother and I are currently home alone as my parents are overseas. (We're both adults, he works full time and it's extremely common given housing prices here for adult children to live with their parents).

Anyway my brother has had some glorious moments so far.

He said "Why does no-one think I can cook?". He's only cooked once so far and set off the smoke alarm. I think if he had a recipe he'd be okay, but I'm not certain.

He put on laundry one day. Our machine has various settings, but he put it on the longest possible cycle somehow. He does know at least that delicate fabrics and wool have their own cycle, and similar colours should be washed together. He also knows under no circumstances to touch or wash my nice/expensive dresses.

He's got his users though. I make him do the washing up, take out the rubbish, mow the lawn and clean his own room and bathroom. I'm happy to cook, do laundry and clean I'm home earlier and more often than him.

So I'm slowly training him, but I intend to warn any future partners he's not exactly Mr Useful.

[jozina]

I've had both a pretty easy labour (my first) and one where I felt like if it was possible to die from pain alone I'd have been dead before I hit active labour (my third).

I thought the Business of Being Born was awful, full of errors and coercion.  I've only worked in a system where midwives do most deliveries.  I love midwives (like we have in Australia).  It was still an awful documentary.

I like this blog's take on it:

http://whatifsandfears.blogspot.com.au/2012/12/the-business-of-being-misled.html

[Bethella]

51 minutes ago, MadeItOut said:

For those to young to be reasonable (I'm joking - but you all do make a gal feel old you know! ) Ricki Lake was a successful talkshow host who chucked it all in to retrain as a midwife.

I remember watching her talk show as a kid when I was home sick from school but I never knew what happened to her.

[Million Children For Jesus]

@MadeItOut I love Ricki Lake. The original Hairspray is one of my all time favorites. I had no idea that she became a midwife. I also had no idea that Divine was a man until about a year ago. My 13-year-old self didn't know about drag queens when the movie came out, and I was super naive in general. I wish Ricki would go back to acting because I would love to see her. 

[Fluffy14]

1 hour ago, MadeItOut said:

the business of being born'

Great Documentary.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

2 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@Elvis Presby, some laboring women do not want pain relief drugs in a vaginal birth because the drugs will get to the baby.  It may or may not cause problems in the baby.  It also assumes hat every laboring woman finds labor unbearable or that there are no ways to cope with the discomfort of labor besides drugs.  Being able to move around helps and so may breathing. (snipped)

I did both my kids' births without pain meds during labor or delivery at a hospital. (They did give me some kind of med afterwards while I was getting stitches, thankfully.) I was open to trying whatever worked. My 'birth plan' basically said, "I have no idea what to expect. I'll try whatever is available." I didn't object to an epidural, or whatever. I just wanted to avoid using anything I didn't need.

I found my pain levels during labor tolerable both times. (Lots of Lamaze-style breathing and some relaxation techniques I had started using as a teenager.) The only point at which I almost regretted my decision was while baby #1 was emerging. At that point, I was stuck with my choice, so I did what I could to deliver as quickly as I could. The second time was so much easier. No hint of a regret that time.

Both times, I went with what worked for me, my body, my child, our situation. Not everyone gets to make all the choices I did, but I hope the choice whether to use medical pain management remains open to most women.

[feministxtian]

Birthing and pain meds:

First baby...1982,,,water broke, no contractions. Went to hospital...got the dreaded Pitocin. NO pain relief available. Thought I'd die from the pain. Whopping tear/episiotomy...32 stitches, lidocaine DID NOT work. Thinking I got treated like shit b/c I was 18, unwed and a "Medicaid mom".

Second baby, 1987...Air Force hospital...no pain meds but was able to be up and walking through most of the labor. AROM at 9cm, baby born w/o tearing, ripping or episiotomy. 

Third baby...1990,,,nice hospital. Various pain relief strategies available to me. By the time I thought I wanted relief, it was too late, baby was born about 20 minutes later. Fat headed baby (14.5" head), no rips, tears, episiotomy...just a little bruised up from the fat headed baby. 

Stopped having babies b/c my labors got shorter and shorter and the next one would have been either a scheduled induction or an unattended at home. Yeah, last one was AROM at 4cm, he was born 94 minutes later. 

[subsaharanafrica]

12 hours ago, justoneoftwo said:

I would also guess that many doctors would be uncomfortable treating someone who is so rarely in the state to get check ups, but would deliver the child in an emergency situation.

Totally anecdotal but I will throw this out there because the prevailing wisdom seems to be that it's really difficult to change doctors after your first trimester: I moved to the US at 35 weeks pregnant and had zero difficulties finding an OB at that point. I made one call to the hospital where I wanted to deliver and they scheduled me in with the OB rotation they are affiliated with.

If I had just showed up at the hospital in labor at 42 weeks (darn stubborn baby) whichever doctor from that rotation was on duty would have been the one to deliver him anyway. Given the option they greatly preferred having already seen me and having my medical history at hand. 

 

[MiddleAgedLady]

Isn't giving birth the most spiritual moment for a Gothard following women? I remember Michelle saying, while she breathed through contractions, thank you Jesus. 

[BabyBottlePop]

Do they think women have to go through the pain cause it's "Eve's curse"? I can't remember if any of the Duggar hospital births used epidurals or the like.

[HarleyQuinn]

If Dwreck became abusive, The only thing JB or Cathy (who are terrible people) would step in with is Jesus counselling like Josh got. The entire Quiverfull culture in general doesn't seem like they'd be any help at all with dealing with abuse of any kind. 

[Jane M.]

So Jill's still pregnant? lol

I don't blame baby Samuelito for not wanting to come out. 

[HumbleJillyMuffin]

1 hour ago, MiddleAgedLady said:

Isn't giving birth the most spiritual moment for a Gothard following women? I remember Michelle saying, while she breathed through contractions, thank you Jesus. 

I remember Michelle and Anna both exclaiming, "Thank you Jesus!" repeatedly right after each crotch fruit was delivered. For me it was a bit strange, but I've never been in that situation myself, I can imagine knowing that the worst part of the ordeal is over would be a huge relief, Jesus, Rufus, or skilled anesthesiologist be praised! 

[OyToTheVey]

Shakespeare I can decipher. I've even read Dystoyevsky in the horrible English translation, I got it. But the cryptic bible verses, for the life of me I can't understand what they mean. I have absolutely no idea what Derick is going on about.

[singsingsing]

There's nothing particularly cryptic about the proverb Derick quoted... all it means is that slothfulness is a slippery slope. You start out taking a couple extra little breaks here and there, and that leads to shirking work more and more until you find yourself in poverty or debt because you prioritized taking it easy over working hard.

Also... I fucking hate words like 'crotchfruit'. I know people think it's funny. It's not. It's disgusting and demeaning to both the women giving birth, and the human beings they're giving birth to. I don't care if it's Michelle Duggar, or Anna, or Angelina Jolie or Kate Middleton or the meth addicted hooker on the street corner. It's dehumanizing and misogynistic and gross.

[Henk12]

22 hours ago, Lovebug said:

I had my second birth recorded in 2006 for the Birth Day show, when Discovery Health still had a channel.  I can tell you without a doubt the last thing I was thinking about was who was there filming, where they were positioned, and what I had covered.  Didn't care in the least bit - it wasn't even on my mind for a single second while I was getting that baby out.  Not an ounce of energy was given to it, and I couldn't imagine sparing as much as a momentary thought about it, even if I was the most modest person, ever.  But, that's just me and my experience.

Fun fact about that day:

Before the birth, I met the camera crew, who came in to introduce themselves and tell me how they would proceed.  Imagine my surprise when my neighbor from across the street walked in.  My husband laughed and shook his hand.  Good times!

Haha in the moment I wouldn't care either, but I wonder if it's different for the Duggar women. Like is Michelle there fussing over them, trying to remind them to be aware? I'm pretty sure when Jessa or Jill filmed a prenatal appointment, their husband held up a sheet so the camera men couldn't see their stomach when they checked the heartbeat. (Maybe I'm wrong?) 

[snarkysuki1724]

12 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I had an unmedicated labor/delivery per the US Army's (then) guidelines. It was beyond horrific. I was begging for relief and literally out of my mind from the pain. I had zero control of the situation.

I waited too long for my epidural with my last son, and was like you, absolutely out of control and in the most horrible pain.  I was crawling around on the hospital bed and yelling (really),  and at one point I grabbed my husband by the collar and was begging him to help me.  I had epidurals with my other three. 

[flycat]

BABY POOL! Will today be the day?  

Date:

07-01-2017 - albanuadh_1

07-02-2017 - fluffernutter, Dandruff

07-03-2017 - Bugaboo, Stormy, PumaLover, KelseyAnn

07-04-2017 - Markie, Daisy0322, jerkit, So-Virgin-It-Hurts, Bad Wolf, meee, BadMammaJana

07-05-2017 - Gobsmacked, DillyDally, Tiny Bubbles, danni9242, singsingsing, TuringMachine, The Wanderer, Bethella, nst, SapphireSlytherin, AlwaysExcited

07-06-2017 - amers, HermioneSparrow, Million Children For Jesus, TeamDefraudinSquad, candygirl200413, AudreyE, Jatalie1996, season of life, Dutch_girl, habert, FundieBunny

07-07-2017 - onekidanddone, Greendoor, speller24, Fluffypaws, LacyMay, HRM1216, marmalade, freshlemonade, Jduggs, HereticHick

07-08-2017 - Chewing Gum, Penny, gilora, SunnySideUp

07-09-2017 - CoveredInBees, Nikedagain?, coffeebean7, HarleyQuinn, Mela99, Lurker, bananabread, Molly

07-10-2017 - CharlieInCharge, SorenaJ, Incognito22, justoneoftwo, frugalitymom, Fun Undies, countingon, adidas, allthegoodnamesrgone, anjulibai

07-11-2017 - ViolaSebastian, Jaedzia, PennySycamore, AlternativeVoice, MadeItOut, JMO, CinnaJen, sadiZ, Jug Band Baby, jozina

07-12-2017 - VelociRapture

07-13-2017 - Miggy, Screamapillar, RosyDaisy

07-14-2017 - Exposedknees

07-15-2017 - Henk12, SassyPants

07-16-2017 - klabourdeth

07-19-2017 - Rachel333, Elvis Presby

Weight:

5 lbs,  oz - Gobsmacked 

6 lbs, 6.6 oz - CoveredInBees 

7 lbs, 4 oz - Markie 

7 lbs, 10 oz - fluffernutter 

7 lbs, 11 oz - CinnaJen 

7 lbs, 17 oz - onekidanddone 

8 lbs, 0 oz - Greendoor 

8 lbs, 3 oz - ViolaSebastian 

8 lbs, 4 oz - countingon 

8 lbs, 5 oz - speller24 

8 lbs, 6 oz - CharlieInCharge 

8 lbs, 10 oz - Fluffypaws ,SorenaJ 

8 lbs, 11 oz - Bugaboo 

8 lbs, 12 oz - amers 

8 lbs, 13.1 oz - DillyDally 

8 lbs, 15 oz - JMO 

9 lbs, 0 oz - Stormy ,Tiny Bubbles ,Molly ,Fun Undies 

9 lbs, 2 oz - albanuadh_1 ,danni9242 ,Chewing Gum 

9 lbs, 3 oz - HermioneSparrow ,LacyMay ,HRM1216 

9 lbs, 4 oz - Million Children For Jesus 

9 lbs, 6 oz - PumaLover ,singsingsing ,TeamDefraudinSquad ,Nikedagain? 

9 lbs, 7 oz - candygirl200413 ,Lurker 

9 lbs, 8 oz - coffeebean7 

9 lbs, 9 oz - TuringMachine ,AudreyE ,Jatalie1996 

9 lbs, 10 oz - Daisy0322 ,season of life ,Penny 

9 lbs, 11 oz - The Wanderer ,Dutch_girl ,Incognito22 

9 lbs, 12 oz - Bethella ,AlternativeVoice 

9 lbs, 13 oz - habert ,marmalade ,gilora ,sadiZ ,jozina 

9 lbs, 15 oz - jerkit ,freshlemonade ,adidas ,Jug Band Baby 

9 lbs, high oz - SunnySideUp ,HarleyQuinn 

10 lbs, 0 oz - KelseyAnn ,So-Virgin-It-Hurts ,Jduggs 

10 lbs,  oz - justoneoftwo 

10 lbs, 0 oz - anjulibai ,Exposedknees 

10 lbs, 1 oz - Bad Wolf 

10 lbs, 2 oz - Dandruff 

10 lbs, 3 oz - RosyDaisy 

10 lbs, 4 oz - allthegoodnamesrgone 

10 lbs, 5 oz - frugalitymom ,MadeItOut 

10 lbs, 7 oz - Jaedzia 

10 lbs, 9 oz - Miggy 

11 lbs, 0 oz - Screamapillar 

11 lbs, 1 oz - nst 

12 lbs, 13 oz - SapphireSlytherin 

Size of 777 lbs,  oz - HereticHick 

Weight is too damn high lbs,  oz - VelociRapture 

[ThunderRolls]

11 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

This was my life mission, to teach my son how to do laundry, he's 19 and can successfully do laundry. This goal was achieved and I realized last month my 17 yr old DD can't do laundry, doesn't know the difference between soap and fabric softener, and where what goes in the machine, she can sort so there is that.  I went off to college and my 1st weekend home with ALL my laundry my mom was pissed , but she wouldn't let me near her washing machine because I would "ruin it" my mom is a crazy control freak and clean freak and just plain crazy.   I had to have my friend show me how to do laundry, and to cook and to be a normal person.  

This reminds me - when one of my cousins was in college, she never washed her sheets. A few months in, her roommate was all, "Girl, your sheets stink!" Apparently, my cousin had no idea that sheets needed to be washed. I'm not sure how she was that clueless and never noticed her parents doing laundry. Pretty sure she had more than one set of sheets for her bed growing up, too. She is not a stupid person by any means, but the sheet washing just went over her head. At least she knew to wash her underwear!

 

[Henk12]

17 hours ago, Elvis Presby said:

I just don't understand why they don't want pain relief when having a baby.  I would have never had any of my children at home because, gross.  Who is going to clean that up?  My first and 3rd were fast and easy deliveries (July babies), but my 2nd and 4th were awful hellish ordeals.  You don't know that things will go wrong until they go wrong.  If things go wrong you really don't have the extra hour or so for the ambulance transport to spare in some cases.  And drugs.  Really, if one of these sisters had some good pain relief I think we would see an uptick in hospital births in NWA.

I had epidurals with my first two and no epidural with my last. Recovery was so much easier when I didn't have the pain meds. My daughter was more alert than her brothers were and I felt like I could have run ten miles as soon as she came out (even though I hemorrhaged.) I wasn't in any real pain until the very end. Up until that point it was just pressure. Every woman's body is different and we all respond to pain differently so I don't judge when someone gets an epidural. In some cases pain medication can actually help labor move along! But there are many risks to it as well, so I don't blame them for wanting to go natural. 

And home birth is surprisingly clean. The midwife cleans up after while you rest with your partner and baby.  Midwives are also trained to recognize any red flags long before they become an emergency, so you usually have time to get to a hospital if needed. 

[karen77]

11 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

This was my life mission, to teach my son how to do laundry, he's 19 and can successfully do laundry. This goal was achieved and I realized last month my 17 yr old DD can't do laundry, doesn't know the difference between soap and fabric softener, and where what goes in the machine, she can sort so there is that.  I went off to college and my 1st weekend home with ALL my laundry my mom was pissed , but she wouldn't let me near her washing machine because I would "ruin it" my mom is a crazy control freak and clean freak and just plain crazy.   I had to have my friend show me how to do laundry, and to cook and to be a normal person.  

I must suck, because I NEVER sort laundry...