Stockdale family murders

[formergothardite]

41 minutes ago, Snarkle Motion said:

I don't think the person meant they were trying to endanger them but offering them a chance to cheat their strict diet rules. Like offering someone on Atkins a cookie.

Still a very, very shitty thing to do. Offering someone food that they you know they can't have it is mean. Just don't do it, even if it is an adult on the Atkins diet.

The story started with:

Quote

 I was always the one tempting them with forbidden foods when I was around them

But when called out on how shitty that was changed it to serving food they couldn't eat at social events where lots of people would be eating, which is totally not what she/he originally said. 

Could this person be really a family friend? Yes

Could they be a weirdo on the internet making up stuff for who knows what reason? Also yes. Unless they get verified we don't know. It is always best to take stuff like this with a massive grain of salt until verification. 

In the end we know what the mother put on the internet and on television which makes her look like an overbearing mother who micro-controlled her children. She chose to portray herself as that sort of a person, so she obviously wasn't upset by the idea. 

Unless someone is living in the family home, they won't know what really went on because people can put on a good show. 

Words have meanings and in this case it doesn't really matter if the poster does know the family, their posts tended to contradict themselves and gave me the impression that  this person isn't the most reliable narrator. 

And yes, the Duggars are real people whose feelings are no different than the feelings of @TisaWee Farm. 

 

 

[Coconut Flan]

I'll just say remember the ax murderer theory and take strangers on the internet with that in mind.  We have a LOT of story tellers pass our way.  

[Lillymuffin]

1 hour ago, Snarkle Motion said:

Agreed that's not okay. But I also think people misinterpreted the person's intention. My understanding they were not following a medically necessary diet but chose to follow a diet they believed optimized their health. Lots of people follow fad diets, breaking the rules isn't life threatening, it's just deciding to break the rules. I don't think the person meant they were trying to endanger them but offering them a chance to cheat their strict diet rules. Like offering someone on Atkins a cookie.

That's not the point. None of us knows exactly why the boys were on that diet and whether or not they actually had health issues that may or may not be affected by what they ate. Their mother, however, was their mother, and as such, had the right to decide how they ate, not some random person who thought breaking the rules was fun.

My grandparents thought the same about my restricted diet when I was about four, fed me food I was allergic to, and were surprised when my threat closed up and my skin broke out in weeping sores. A parent's wishes regarding their child/ren should be respected, until such time as said parent is proven wrong or unfit. 

[Snarkle Motion]

1 hour ago, Lurky said:

@Snarkle Motion It sounds like you're suggesting we should disregard what someone's words actually say, because they are telling us they are nebulously involved in real life. 

And what baffles me is even they aren't saying they're a family member, you just decided they are.  I just don't understand why you want us to both take them at their word that they're close, without verification AND ignore what they're actually saying (when they said they thought there was another explanation than the son killed his family; when they said they deliberately tempted the boys with foods their parents believed would make them ill) and translate it into something else.

I never said we needed to automatically believe them. I suggested maybe we give them a chance and not read everything with a negative filter. It sounds like @really rookiehad a similar experience and I imagine it's pretty harsh/unwelcoming for newcomers. I get that there's a history and reason for this skepticism but the reaction still felt I uncalled for to me. And I do tend to be more skeptical of people claiming to be tangentially related to famous people (Duggar/Bates and their relatives) - I can see motive for that but less so in his case.

And have people actually read the commenters original posts? The reaction/interpretation seemed highly distorted for example:

Spoiler

I truly don't know what caused this.  In my heart, I still feel that Jacob didn't do it.  There had to be some other explanation.  And if he did, it was a mental or medically-induced snap, but not caused by things at home.  

Spoiler

I'm pretty darned sure the boys followed the diet even when their parents weren't around.  I was always the one tempting them with forbidden foods when I was around them, and they always turned them down.   They understood their diet and they knew they needed to be strict with it in order for the best outcomes.   They encouraged each other to be healthy.  

Spoiler

 

I knew them personally and professionally.  I feel qualified to stand up for them since they are unable to defend themselves from these runors.  I have no reason, legally or otherwise, to post here except to try to dispel the negative rumors going around about this family.  This huge tragedy has caused enough division in the community without others encouraging it simply because they don't the truth.  If you want the truth (which no one does because it won't sell in the gossip rags), talk to their community, church, home school group, community supported agricultural group, farmer's market, bluegrass musicians and neighbors.  They will all tell you that this was an upstanding family, much admired and respected, in the community.  And it is a total shock to them because nothing the family did would have foretold of this. 

I'm confused about the statement "maybe you're a family member and you're trying to shift the blame".  Shift the blame from who?  Kathy?  Definately.  A mother raising her children to the best of her ability in a loving, caring, educated way is not to blame.   And you will never convince me that she was doing it any other way.  I was there.  I saw it.    If you mean shifting the blame from Jacob... I wish I could, but no, I can't do that.  He did it.  We don't know why.  That's the mystery.   You can't blame it on his upbringing and wrap it all up in a tidy package.  No, the real reason is still out there.

 

Spoiler

When I said I tempted the kids with things they couldn't eat, I didn't mean it like as if I was wearing an overcoat stuffed with forbidden goodies and tempting them when their parents weren't around.  Geesh.   There were always others that COULD eat other things, and I always packed food when we traveled together.  We all shared whatever we had.  They shared their homemade soups, ice creams, etc.  I shared homemade cakes, cookies, sandwiches, whatever I had.  The boys always turned down things made with sugar or milk (for awhile...until milk was reintroduced to their diet).  No one made a big deal about it.  For awhile, Tim ate whatever he wanted and loved my chocolate cake until more recently when he decided to encourage the others and be on the same leaky gut diet.   Why do people seem to grab onto every nuance and turn it sinister?

I really don't think they contradicted themselves with the food thing and think it was blown way out of proportion. And they were accused of arguing Jacob didn't do commit the crime when rather it seemed it was a "I can't believe he could do this, it had to be some sort of medical or mental illness episode." And later clarifies that the blame lies with Jacob but the why remains a mystery.

The commenter doesn't deny being a family member when it's suggested. I think it's probably Tim but I have no proof. They do describe knowing them personally and professionally as well as witnessing how they were raised.

This person appears to be defending Kathy's memory and even supporting Jacob. And strongly arguing about it being a happy home and defending the parenting style- which is why I suspect Tim. Who else would have a  vested  interest in this? Or know about Tims initial rejection of the leaky gut diet but later adoption to feel healthier? That's oddly specific. 

This comment is actually consistent with public statements made by the family. So far I'm not seeing the signs I expected when the story initially broke - strained, awkward or distant reactions from family, community members coming forward with suspicions or other stories of concerns. But the surviving brothers support of Jacob and their mother makes me believe it's not so clear as we want to believe. And if it is a mental health tragedy that isn't directly related to the family upbringing (although likely it played a role) it is really sad to think the surviving family members have to read their deceased mother/wife painted as a villain.

I think that this person should have been engaged a bit more compassionately and given an opportunity to verify their side of the story (if true). It seems unnecessarily harsh for someone whose main motive appeared to defend and stand up for the memory of the victim and even display compassion toward the perpetrator. I'm not sure why this was immediately met with backlash and harsh criticism.

[TisaWee Farm]

17 hours ago, Snarkle Motion said:

@TisaWee Farm

Reading between the lines, you were VERY close to the family. Possibly even a close relative based on some of your details? And in that case you are likely suffering and confused and trying to make sense of things. And it's probably extremely hard to read the speculation/discussion on here as you are still grieving.

For fear of being banned for short responses... thank you.  You understand me.   Exactly. 

As for the verification, I had to wait for verification before I could join, and once I found I was able to log in, had assumed I was verified.  I saw that someone else who had posted had asked to be verified, and I wondered what that meant, but didn't think any more about it.  And, truthfully, I didn't read every post of every page.   If there is an additional verification needed in order for someone to give me the slightest bit of credence, please tell me how to do that.  

Someone mentioned that using TisaWee Farm was done to elicit some sort of response.  I had to laugh at that.  TisaWee Farm *is* the name of my farm.  I didn't make up a name solely for this site.  

I truly only came on here to try to defend a mother and sons that can no longer defend themselves.  I didn't realize this thread had died, or I probably would have just let it die and not stir it back up again.  I'm not very familiar with forums, so didn't think to look at dates (and still am not sure where they are).  

Again, thank you, Snarkle Motion for understanding. 

 

[snarkopolis]

Didn't you leave?

[TisaWee Farm]

One last chance to redeem myself.  If it doesn't work.... I tried. 

 

[dawbs]

oh FFS.
Mod-hat off, just a normal poster, but, this is a soapbox of mine.
(well, first the non soapbox.  The top of each post says when it was posted; the most recent one in this thread was 19 minutes ago (when I started typing).  Right there, really easy to spot.  Maybe next time it'll be in flashing lights--like it has been on all of the OTHER forums that TisaWeeFarms [the same one or a different one] has posted on.)

For anyone considering outing themselves, you can do what you want with your identity.  It's yours.  
But giving it away on the internet isn't especially bright, and I wouldn't recommend it.

Own your shit.  You should always own what you say.  But unless you want every tiny nuance from your text (not just one opinion, I mean everywhere) copied, printed, and snail mailed to your grandma , put on the bulletin board in your office, and put on the front page of the times, don't out yourself.

It's not about your opinion not being yours, it's about privacy being worth something and that sometimes, we share things when we're in the guise of anonymity, and while all of those things might be able to come out, sometimes we don't share all of those facets with all people--and once you out yourself, you can't stop that from happening.  So that story you told online about great uncle mortimer's birthday party or the tale of how yu spent yourself into bankruptcy or whatever from being linked to your gossipy neighbor if you out yourself.

Not against the rules, just not especially bright.  Makes me want to quote elastagirl again. (from the incredibles)

[TisaWee Farm]

Ok, again I'm clueless as to what you are saying.  What is "outing" myself?   If I get myself verified, doesn't it just mean that I've spoken privately to someone in charge that will verify that I'm who I say I am?  They would not be sharing what I've told them in order to "verify" ... whatever that is.   I don't intend on stating my relationship publicly, nor really sharing much more information than what I've already shared.  I'm just trying to clear up some things that are damaging to the reputation.  

And now that I've written that, and thought about what I wrote, I guess what does it matter?  YOU shouldn't matter to me or what you think.  I was just lashing out at people that sit smugly in front of a computer and bash that which they don't know about or have all the facts.  

 

[Destiny]

Guys, I’ve had a really shitty couple of days, and I’m contemplating my alcoholic beverage choices for tonight. Hit me with a good recipe. And GO.

 

Edit: I have rum, apple rum, peach rum, jack, and vodka available.

[Palimpsest]

Oh, blimey.  It's like Minnie Pearl just discovered the internet.  Heeee Haw!

2 minutes ago, Destiny said:

Guys, I’ve had a really shitty couple of days, and I’m contemplating my alcoholic beverage choices for tonight. Hit me with a good recipe. And GO.

Sorry, no good at mixed drinks and I only drink white wine on rare occasions.

I'll join you in a vat of it tonight though!

[Destiny]

White wine is an option, but I have all this other stuff and wanted to try something different.

[Palimpsest]

6 minutes ago, Destiny said:

White wine is an option, but I have all this other stuff and wanted to try something different.

If you have gin perhaps we could try Pimms.  It's like alcoholic fruit cup with a dash of herbs essential oils.  It sort of sneaks up on you.

[Destiny]

I love pimms and shall now crave it, but no gin.

[TisaWee Farm]

33 minutes ago, dawbs said:

oh FFS.
Mod-hat off, just a normal poster, but, this is a soapbox of mine.
(well, first the non soapbox.  The top of each post says when it was posted; the most recent one in this thread was 19 minutes ago (when I started typing).  Right there, really easy to spot.  Maybe next time it'll be in flashing lights--like it has been on all of the OTHER forums that TisaWeeFarms [the same one or a different one] has posted on.)

 

I'm sorry that I didn't look closely enough to notice a date.  With all the stuff on the page (and the ads alongside), I didn't pay any attention.  I read the content, and replied.   I just don't understand all the bashing about everything I do or say.    

And the Minnie Pearl reference.  Is that really necessary?  I didn't realize that you had to have a Geek degree in order to post on a forum.  For some of us, technology isn't the piece of cake it is for most of you...considering most of you are probably my grandchildrens' ages or less.  And, by the way, "TisaWee Farms" has never posted on a forum before.  

 

[formergothardite]

How old do you think most members are? 

I freaking love He e  Haw.

[Palimpsest]

6 minutes ago, Destiny said:

I love pimms and shall now crave it, but no gin.

Let's just go heavy on the essential oils instead.  They will either kill us or cure us.

Or I need to get me some Plexus!

[TheOneAndOnly]

Watching Hee Haw on Youtube is like having a tiny family reunion.

It's amazing what someone could find with a tiny amount of information. If I, for instance, used the name of a farm on Homesteading Today and then used it over here it might be assumed that there was a link, therefore potentially giving information on  my real-life identity. If I cared about that then it may not be wise.

[TisaWee Farm]

4 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

How old do you think most members are? 

I freaking love He e  Haw.

The first civil question I've had (although maybe you are being patronizing and I don't recognize it).  LOL
I'm guessing most of you are in your 30 or 40s.  

[Destiny]

8 minutes ago, TisaWee Farm said:

And the Minnie Pearl reference.  Is that really necessary?  I didn't realize that you had to have a Geek degree in order to post on a forum.  For some of us, technology isn't the piece of cake it is for most of you...considering most of you are probably my grandchildrens' ages or less.

You have clearly decided to be forever butthurt. You don’t need a “Geek degree” to post here. You need to read the fucking rules and guidelines, and possibly read before you talk so you understand the culture. Also, I’d bet money that I’m probably not much younger than you, if I am at all, as are most of the people here. The “aw jeez, I’m just so old” shit doesn’t fly here. 

Someone help me figure out what to do with this apple rum. I feel like that’s what i want to drink tonight.

[dawbs]

dude, hot buttered rum made w/ apple rum sounds like heaven

[Snarkle Motion]

1 hour ago, TisaWee Farm said:

For fear of being banned for short responses... thank you.  You understand me.   Exactly. 

As for the verification, I had to wait for verification before I could join, and once I found I was able to log in, had assumed I was verified.  I saw that someone else who had posted had asked to be verified, and I wondered what that meant, but didn't think any more about it.  And, truthfully, I didn't read every post of every page.   If there is an additional verification needed in order for someone to give me the slightest bit of credence, please tell me how to do that.  

 

I don't entirely understand the process either but I believe if you contact (pm) the helpmeets they will walk you through verification and you can decide how much info you'd like to share or not.

I do want to give a shoutout to the helpmeets for all that they do or this site. And putting up with me as I know I have a rebel/trouble maker tendency. We don't often take the time to acknowledge our appreciate and respect for this site, so I want to offer it now. You all do a great job, I was just attempting to advocate for someone I found credible but ultimately trust your decisions.

@TisaWee Farm I'm not sure if you will be able to change opinions at this point. It's the Internet at people will say what they will. But I believe you have a right to voice your perspective, prove credibility, and advocate for the family if you feel the situation is being misrepresented. And I would like to hear what you have to say.

[TisaWee Farm]

For your information, I did read the rules and guidelines.  Oh wait, you said "fucking rules"... I believe I already know how, so didn't read those rules... where are they?   (And you are an administrator??  Oh geesh....)

 

[Palimpsest]

I'm getting too old for this crap.  I have a distinct feeling I could be Tisawee's granny. 

Port and lemon.  That's an old lady drink in most English pubs.  Can I have one of those?  In a pint mug!

[Destiny]

For your information, I did read the rules and guidelines.  Oh wait, you said "fucking rules"... I believe I already know how, so didn't read those rules... where are they?   (And you are an administrator??  Oh geesh....)
 

Wherein you clearly prove you did not take the time to get to know FJ before wandering in and telling us we are all wrong, and make my point for me.