Lori Alexander 18: Taking Pictures in the Closet

[Showtunesgirl]

26 minutes ago, Koala said:

Is it normal for cabinets to only last 19 years?  My house is 61 years old, and to my knowledge, it still has the original cabinets.  We stained them last year, and they look fabulous, if I do say so.  And by "we stained them", I mean we (my husband and I) actually did the work ourselves. Because we're actually are pretty frugal.  It would have never occurred to us to pay someone to do what we could do ourselves. 

We still have the original built-in cabinets (and counters, and bathrooms) that came with the house, which was constructed in the 1920s. So ours have lasted...almost 100 years? My parents are finally thinking about remodeling the kitchen after living here for over 30 years.  Until recently, the only things they have ever changed in our house were the appliances, some paint colors, and some of the plumbing/electrical. We also finally got another bathroom last year, after all five of us sharing one toilet my entire life. The only reason they're considering actually redoing the kitchen is because it's not particularly functional or an efficient use of space, but they've just made do with it for all this time because it served its primary purpose and everything was in relatively good condition. Now the counters are starting to fall apart, the floor needs to be redone, and I think my mom actually wants a dishwasher (yeah we don't have one of those or a garbage disposal either). A 19-year-old kitchen sounds pretty young to me!

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Imagine all those expensive medical treatments Ken has to pay for and now new counters just because they are cracked. In fact, didn't we see good close ups of the counters when she was wiping them with the norwex. I don't remember anything glaringly wrong. 

In heaven, is God going to care about our counter tops? 

[Koala]

7 minutes ago, Loveday said:

I can't bring myself to watch this latest youtube of hers. My kitchen countertops are original to my 1981 house, fake butcher block. They're in great shape except for a spot where my daughter accidentally put an insanely hot pot on it. Did I even discuss the possibility of new countertops with my husband? No. We just can't afford it, especially since it would likely mean new cabinets as well, since unlike the counters they're not in great shape. I found a Corelle glass cutting board in a cute pattern and put it over the spot. Frankly, it looks great, is useful, and cost me $2.25 at the thrift store.

And that, Lori, is how you really avoid 'dissipating' your husband's income.  

I love Corelle.  It lasts forever.  I have this set:

https://www.amazon.com/Corelle-16-Piece-Dinnerware-Shadows-Service/dp/B00RVPUEIU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1493264623&sr=8-1&keywords=corelle+tree+pattern
 

[Showtunesgirl]

@Koala they're so pretty!!!!

[Loveday]

1 minute ago, Koala said:

I love Corelle.  It lasts forever.  I have this set:

https://www.amazon.com/Corelle-16-Piece-Dinnerware-Shadows-Service/dp/B00RVPUEIU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1493264623&sr=8-1&keywords=corelle+tree+pattern
 

Ooh, that's pretty, I love it! I was at the Corelle/Pyrex outlet store in Williamsburg a couple weeks ago, but I didn't see that one. Probably a good thing, I would have been sorely tempted! I have a serious addiction to dishes (and kitchenware in general, especially vintage Pyrex).

[Hisey]

Wow, Koala, it never occurred to me that Lori might have sabotaged her own countertops, but it makes perfect sense. . . 

It's a shame she just can't tell Ken she wants granite, decide together if it's important enough to save up for, discuss with him how to save for it, and then shop for it together. So much easier and so much more fun.

[Koala]

12 minutes ago, Showtunesgirl said:

We still have the original built-in cabinets (and counters, and bathrooms) that came with the house, which was constructed in the 1920s. So ours have lasted...almost 100 years? My parents are finally thinking about remodeling the kitchen after living here for over 30 years.  Until recently, the only things they have ever changed in our house were the appliances, some paint colors, and some of the plumbing/electrical. We also finally got another bathroom last year, after all five of us sharing one toilet my entire life. The only reason they're considering actually redoing the kitchen is because it's not particularly functional or an efficient use of space, but they've just made do with it for all this time because it served its primary purpose and everything was in relatively good condition. Now the counters are starting to fall apart, the floor needs to be redone, and I think my mom actually wants a dishwasher (yeah we don't have one of those or a garbage disposal either). A 19-year-old kitchen sounds pretty young to me!

That's what I was thinking!  19 is practically new in my book.  We did have to replace our kitchen flooring, but we did it ourselves.

 

3 minutes ago, Showtunesgirl said:

@Koala they're so pretty!!!!

Thank you!  I have a farm table, so they seemed to fit.

2 minutes ago, Loveday said:

Ooh, that's pretty, I love it! I was at the Corelle/Pyrex outlet store in Williamsburg a couple weeks ago, but I didn't see that one. Probably a good thing, I would have been sorely tempted! I have a serious addiction to dishes (and kitchenware in general, especially vintage Pyrex).

Thank you!  I love vintage...

I also love the look of Pioneer Woman's "Flea Market" line.  Someone gave me a set of the casserole dishes back at Christmas, but I haven't been impressed with the quality, unfortunately.  You can barely touch it, and it chips.  Nothing beats Corelle. 

[Granwych]

I got some of my folks' Corelle when they sold their vacation home.  It is practically indestructible, and I find all sorts of extras at thrift shops.  My china has been used approximately 2.5 times in 30 years, mainly because it has silver trim and can't go in the microwave.

[feministxtian]

Oh gee...we redid the kitchen in our old house...40 grand later...custom cabinets, 53 square feet of granite, all new appliances. In my defense...the kitchen was HORRID...not enough counter space, not enough cabinet space. SO we gutted it and started over. Paid cash too (that was in the days when I ha a nice cushion). We had planned to stay in that house until we retired so it was worth it...little did we know that we'd sell it 7 years later. We redid the kitchen, replaced the front doors, refinished all the floors...hubby did a lot of it, I designed the kitchen, we paid pros to do some of it. But then again...I don't go online and tell other women to be "frugal". On the flip side, we've had the same bedroom furniture for almost 20 years, the rest of the furniture is from IKEA and I'm GOOD at repurposing things. 

[SuperNova]

I'm jumping in a little late to the husbands and housework thread but wanted to add my two cents. 

9 hours ago, louisa05 said:

I pretty much knew that Mr. 05 was not the type to be inconsiderate about those things or anything else before we were serious enough to live in the same house. If someone (a male or female partner) is such an ass that they won't do simple things like pick up their own dirty socks, they are likely asses in many other ways, as well. 

My 22 year old nephew is that kind of ass. But his girlfriend definitely is aware of that by now. He has told my brother that they fight over her picking stuff up in his apartment. So far, she is so enamored with having a boyfriend and being on the perfect life timeline (go to college, find a boyfriend there, go to grad school, get married...) that she doesn't seem to realize that marrying him will mean having that fight for the rest of her life and she won't be able to go home to a clean place anymore. Nephew is also an ass in other ways both to the GF and to everyone else. He also spouts nonsense about patriarchy (in spite of preaching atheism to us at every turn) and defines his maternal family as a "patriarchy" in which his mother's brother must be responsible for everyone else by virtue of being the oldest person with a penis and women must cook and clean while men do whatever they want. It should be pretty apparent to his gf what she is getting, but her family doesn't seem to be much better. 

Mr.05, for the record, does nearly all the cleaning here. He likes to clean and is particular about how it is done.  I believe I have said that on FJ before. I haven't cleaned a bathroom in nearly ten years (he started cleaning my bathroom while we were dating). I do the laundry. He is not allowed to fold. He has no idea how to fold. I do all the cooking, but I love to cook. He cannot cook anything other than mac & cheese from a box, fried eggs, or processed food that only needs heated. He grew up in a household with gender roles but they did not apply to general cleaning (probably because his dad has issues with cleanliness that border on OCD). Somehow, he left that house without a sexist bone in his body, though. I'm not sure how. 

Mr. Nova never picked up his socks when we first lived together. For him it wasn't about being an ass but about upbringing. It drove me nuts till I went to his parents home and saw that that was just how they were. Their home was none too clean and neither was his grandparents home. The love and kindness are endless but they are very messy people. For my guy, it's almost innate. Over time he's discovered that there are other ways to live. I haven't seen a stray sock in years. I'm a little jealous that your hubby cleans bathrooms, though. But then again mine cooks better than I do. Life's a trade off, I guess.

[BlackSheep]

19 hours ago, Showtunesgirl said:

We've all agreed that Lori's reading comprehension skills aren't the greatest, correct? In the first article she cites about the 400 hours of shopping, the article itself explicitly states that not all of those hours are spent at the mall. A good portion is spent on grocery shopping, errands, window shopping, etc. I've also learned from frugal blogs (and my own very frugal parents), that part of being frugal is spending a lot of time researching and shopping around for bargains, but that doesn't mean you have to buy something every time you enter a store. Conversely, a sure-fire way to spend less time shopping is to pay full-price for everything, which defeats the purpose of today's blog post.

Can confirm. Now that I'm part-time (so that I can help our aging parents), we don't go straight to Walmart for groceries. We go to Aldi first, buy as much as we can there, and then go to Walmart for the rest.

[polecat]

A former pastor of mine posted this on Facebook recently:

Quote

A pharisee is hard on others and easy on himself. A spiritual man is easy on others and hard on himself.

 

[polecat]

10 hours ago, Koala said:

She admits that they cracked because she sat hot pots on them. They were only 19 years old. Good grief, I've had formica last longer, because I actually took care of it.  (I clean them with Clorox wipes, instead of a salmonella soaked Norwex cloth, but that's a different story).

She wanted granite, and I guarantee you, that's why she sabotaged what she had.   She's like a child.  If she doesn't get her way, she destroys stuff (like her birth control) until everyone throws their hands up and does what she wants.  

 Christ on a cracker, put a pot holder under your pots, and save your counter tops.  Be a good steward of the things you have.  I can't stand waste.

3

So you're saying she "dissipated" her husband's income? 

Why does this not surprise me?

[Maggie Mae]

Even if I had granite, I doubt I could ever just put a hot pot directly on the counter.  Not only have I always had to use potholders so it's habit (and Lori is older than me), there's something about the idea of metal pots on any counter  that doesn't seem right.  

[usmcmom]

Remember the knives in the dishwasher story where Lori applauded the husband for taking the dishwasher away?  I think instead of buying her new countertops, Ken should have made her cook without them. After all, she was careless with something he had provided for her so shy reward her with a top-of-the-line replacement? 

Oh wait, accountability and discipline are only godly if other women are being punished. After all, Lori always gets her way. 

[polecat]

20 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Even if I had granite, I doubt I could ever just put a hot pot directly on the counter.  Not only have I always had to use potholders so it's habit (and Lori is older than me), there's something about the idea of metal pots on any counter  that doesn't seem right.  

 

Lori is so lazy that she can't even be bothered to get a potholder for her pots. One of the first things my mom told me when she was teaching me to cook was to always use a trivet or potholder when putting a pan anywhere but on the stove. 

I have a plain old laminate countertop; woe is me. It does the job well, though, and I can make big salads or complete meals regardless of the materials used. I'm talented like that.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

I found it! From 2011, Lori talking about how she doesn't want granite counter tops:

Quote

Ken always thought I wanted granite counter tops in my kitchen with gorgeous stainless steel appliances. I don't. I never have but after watching that show, I realized if I did get those counter tops and appliances, they wouldn't make me any happier. Stuff never makes anyone happier. Being content with what we have makes us happy. 

Figured this is worth a screen shot.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Granite can chip and crack.  It a hard stone but it's not titanium.

Mr.Dress managed to chip our granite counter top edge when he somehow whacked it with a cast iron frying pan.  He was mortified and found someone, somewhere to repair the chip  (some space-age bonding stuff) that the guy mixed up to blend with the granite color.

Granite can also crack if you put an insanely hot pot directly on it.  This courtesy of the stone guy who installed the granite.  I have clear tempered glass counter savers next to the stove  -- work perfectly for hot pots and as cutting boards

We had our kitchen redone 11 years ago,  The old kitchen was an absolute mess when we bought the house and we left it for the last renovation,  Last redone in the mid 1960s it was a medley of harvest gold and brown, Permanently stained and buckling sheet formica counters with deep cut marks in them. Vinyl sheet flooring with melted spots/ burn marks on it. Brown press board cabinets.  Only one 5 ft long counter.  Ancient harvest gold appliances. Stove under a window. Space where there should have been a dishwasher but was just an empty place under the counter.  A seriously sagging wooden floor under the sheet vinyl. 

Our house was build around 1910, so a really large kitchen with potential that someone in the mid 1960s ripped out all the original cabinets/counter/etc and "updated".  We knew we would have to gut everything to the studs and go from there so we saved up, budgeted, did other renovations ourselves as we could and used that old kitchen for 13 years until the fridge wouldn't really cool anything and was about to go and the stove only had 2 working burners and no working oven.

Even then I negotiated with contractor on pricing and materials.  We spent money, but we knew we were increasing the house value so it was an investment.  Now I have the kitchen of my dreams that I take care of.  So does Mr Dress.  Because despite the cost we were frugal with our money and didn't spend it until we'd discussed it and looked at the finances. I didn't "accidentally" ruin my counters and then demand new ones.

TL:DR  Lori is a spoiled, selfish, entitled woman who wants what she wants when she wants it. And better get it or there will be (passive aggressive) hell to pay.

[Koala]

After someone called Lori on the $70 skirt, a reader said:

Quote

Forgive me if I am reading something into this that is not there, but what does it matter how much her skirt cost?

Umm, I guess the same reason it matters to Lori if her readers have:

"expensive college education, the latest fashions, expensive haircuts and manicures, spa days, elaborate vacations, new cars, perfectly decorated homes, or eat out often".  

It's really none of her business, but she just dedicated an entire post to it.  She can judge them for having an expensive haircut, but they can't say that her spending $70 on a skirt is ridiculous? 

Obviously, someone thought she was contradicting herself, so they did what she said they should- they "called her out".  Funny how it's "good" when Lori calls people out, but fangirls are baffled that anyone would dare do the same to her.

Also, tell me how this is not gossip:

Quote

A friend of mine just had dinner with a man whose wife was rottenness in his bones. She didn’t like the color of the Hummer he had bought her and wanted a new one. She spent all of his hard-earned money and was never satisfied. He was a broken and miserable man.

She's just carrying tales.  There was no purpose in the world for Lori to ever know that, much less tell her readers.  It's not even balanced.  She has no idea what really happened, yet she has already decided that this woman is "rottenness to his bones".  She's got one side of the story, and even that's not directly from one of the parties involved.  It's gossip that she heard from a friend, who heard one side of it.

Again, because it bears repeating:

1Timothy 5:13

And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.

[HoneyBunny]

I am most shocked that Lori actually cooked something making a pan hot enough to crack her Corian countertops. I thought it was all big salads for her. 

Cabinets in our house, as well as Formica counter tops and electric stove with heating coils, are original to the home, 29 years ago. They are all in great condition (the counters are in perfect condition) because we take care of them. That's what two formerly poor kids do when they grow up. We live in a neighborhood determined to keep up with the Joneses. The top topic in every conversation with neighbors is home updating. As a neighborhood, we're long past the 'granite counter tops' stage and into the whole kitchen remodeling, with new cabinets and lighting and QUARTZ counters. These homes are 24-29 years old!

i think of Lori often throughout many day. She is just a year or so older than I am but her life could not be any more different. Sure, I no longer work (husband is retired after 27 years in the military so I took early retirement too), and I, too, have real, potentially life ending health struggles, but I spend at least a couple hours, often far more, every day working side by side with my husband as we do all the things around the house and in the yard that he chooses not to have someone pay for. It's sometimes hard work- I am currently removing five 20 foot tall arborvitaes from the yard, bit by bit- but more often I am holding his ladder or assisting as he uses power tools and generally keeping him safe.

i laugh when Lori and her readers talk about how it is a woman's job to keep the house clean because their husbands take care of the outside. Are things really that divided in others' homes?  My husband is just as likely to be scrubbing floors and pulling out the washer and dryer to clean under them as I am to be outside working with him. 

WWLD (What would Lori do) if Ken asked her to help out in the yard?  Paint the outside of their house?  Cut down trees and shrubs?  Told her that her carelessness caused the cracked countertops and he wanted to donate money to  the poor instead of having granite installed? As far as I can see, Ken is happy as long as Lori isn't verbally abusing him. She has an incredibly low bar to reach in her personal life while dictating that other women strive for sometimes unreachable heights.

Oh, and about clothes? After being raised on rummage sale clothing, it's Target sales all the way for me now. I still haven't recovered from the time in sixth grade I wore a new to me church rummage sale dress to school only to have a classmate remark to everyone that it was her sister's old dress that her mom donated because my classmate herself refused to wear it as a hand me down. Bet that's another experience Lori's never had. 

[Koala]

And, again we're back to- "the wife alone is capable of saving her husband from hell". 

Quote

Why you are here? Could you have come to the Kingdom for such a time as this, for the very saving of our man’s soul? My husband’s?

I'm just an Atheist, but I could have sworn that Jesus came to save souls.  I had no clue that wives had any such power. 

Unless that's just a convenient way to convince women to stay in horrific situations....AND, right on queue, Lori says:

Quote

An eternity in hell is nothing compared to anything we have to put up with in this life.

Does "anything" mean physical abuse?  See how she slips that in there?  If you save yourself, you are dooming your poor husband to hell.  His salvation rests on you alone.  There's really no need for Jesus at all.  

Quote

we forget that our husbands are Jesus wearing size 32×32 Levi’s or size medium Fruit of the Looms or a 15.5 x 33-inch dress shirt. This man is a soul, and every spiritual battle we fight, every prayer we pray, every meal, swept floor or pair of clean socks is worth it so he’ll never whiff the fumes of hell. 

No, honey.  Your husband is your husband.  He's not Jesus, and sweeping his floors and washing his socks won't save him from hell.  Belief in Jesus is supposed to save him from hell, not being catered to like a spoiled king.

Do these people even read their own book?

[EowynW]

Such dangerous theology. I think it'd be fun to start a blog called Never Learning, Certainly Not Transformed and just take each of these disgusting posts apart.

Okay so after yesterday's post where she said you shouldn't think of your husband's income as "our money" but just be happy that he is willing to share it with you, I've decided that she just wants wives to operate as House Elves. I'm currently reading Harry Potter (for the first time ever) and that thought struck me yesterday when reading through the post. She also deleted my perfectly polite, non argumentative and innocent comment on that post. 

[FeministShrew]

2 hours ago, Koala said:

Unless that's just a convenient way to convince women to stay in horrific situations....AND, right on queue, Lori says:

Does "anything" mean physical abuse?  See how she slips that in there?  If you save yourself, you are dooming your poor husband to hell.  His salvation rests on you alone.  There's really no need for Jesus at all.  

 

That shit right there is what kept me in an abusive marriage for roughly 3 years when I should have run after the first week. I did everything people like Lori say to do, and nearly ended up dead.

[dairyfreelife]

I don't think my dad did much of the housework when I was growing up, but my mom stayed home and did the work before he got home. My dad would usually do the outside work like mowing and weeding, but they both tended the garden and helped as needed. If my mom was unwell or something, he would take over. He would come home from work and take care of us and he and my mother would split taking us to our practices and games. My dad was a very involved dad. When my mom started to work, he took over more of the work and once she was full time they split the house work in and out. As my father's health has declined, their roles have shifted, but my mother will eventually have to do it all. My father is going on disability due to his condition and my mother is now the full-time breadwinner. My dad is now taken to doing the simple housework (anything in or out that involves much strength he can't do much now) like laundry, dusting, running a vacuum, cleaning the bathrooms, he does. My mom is the one now mowing, weeding, doing the maintenance of the home, and cooking (he can't really cook because of the shaking). My dad's company went out of business a year or so ago and he didn't build up the retirement in the new company yet. My mom has though and it's working out great because she is now going to work from home so she can work and care for my dad. Lori would say my mom is doing wrong, but she is doing right. Trust me, if there's a heaven, my mom will see it over Lori for sure. She's a WAY better person, a WAY WAY better wife, daughter, sister, mother than Lori could ever be. 

[Maggie Mae]

My dad was disabled and did most of the housework while my mom worked. He drove me to practice, he was the one who did dishes, cooked weeknight meals, shopped for groceries (or sent me, the grocery store was across the street.) Until the financial situation changed, we lived in an apartment so no yard work. Once that changed, they both did some stuff, but we also hired the same landscaping service that our neighbors had. Dad did the laundry and fed the pets. Mom walked the dog, because that dog only liked her. Terrible little animal, and I'm an animal person! 

Anyway, I vaguely remember Lori telling people in my situation that we just need to pray harder so the women can come home. My mom worked in a hospital! If she came home and hung out during the day (which she did once, when I was in early elementary and we lived in a different state) she would be miserable. Furthermore, the people who depended on her for care wouldn't have her there to take care of them. And according to my mom's not at all biased opinion, the patients liked her the best because she actually did her job and didn't cut corners like some of the other staff. Lots of politics in health care and some shady employees in her facility, I guess. The health inspectors seemed to be at her place constantly and she was always so stressed about her people.