Dillards 25 - It's A Boy!

[season of life]

How the hell did I miss the shower rack incident? That amuses me yet also concerns me, considering that Jill was so impacted by the event.

They need to stay in Arkansas forever.

[jcanglin991]

On ‎1‎/‎31‎/‎2017 at 9:11 AM, SummerRocks said:

4 hours ago, NewOrleansLady said:

Because of my advanced age (69ish) and with a young s-i-l, the day he saw me in my diaper he said, "Look, I'm probably the one who will have to bathe you at some time in the future so there is no need to be  embarrased."  Made me feel a little better knowing he will be around for the long haul and I could depend on him. (no pun intended-really).

 

I just have to say I love this. I took care of my parents and you really do get past the parts that aren't so pretty when it's for someone you love.  I'm so happy  you have someone like this in your life. 

 

[Mercer]

The shower rack thing actually made me feel sad for Jill. She obviously feels very scared about living in El Salvador, and it clearly goes beyond the surface issue of a shower rack falling to make her that upset. I think by telling that story, she's communicating fear and pain that she can't speak about directly.

That said, Jill is an adult and she doesn't seem to be doing anything to change her situation, so there is somewhat of a limit to how much I can pity her.

[Fun Undies]

On 2/9/2017 at 2:06 PM, ClaraOswin said:

-snip-

And I seriously hate the overuse of "Godly" in these super religious types.

I find it practically blasphemous to call any human "Godly", but then again I'm a "heathen Christian", not their brand of fundie kind :S

On 2/10/2017 at 4:51 PM, GotCaughtDancing said:

-snip- Also did anyone else find the carotid artery find a weird thing for just a wellness check?

I have never in my life had a stethoscope put on my neck, and I have plenty of chronic health issues.  So I have no clue as to how a doctor decided this was a routine part of the exam for a supposedly healthy patient - I mean, hey, if he actually caught something, then that's great, but yeah, I've personally never experienced that.

On 2/10/2017 at 7:31 PM, twinmama said:

I'll say I don't think it's all consciously done. I mean, I post funny pictures of my kids, I don't post pictures of them fighting with each other because who wants to see that? We all know kids suck a lot of the time, but the pics you post are the cute ones. I certainly have no illusions of how perfect my life is, it's messy and real, but I'm not about to post "hey I didn't shower today and my hair looks like shit but it's winter so I'm wearing a hat" photos on Facebook!

I'm the same way, but that's because I'm real big on my kid's privacy - and frankly, I don't want them finding my social media 20 years from now, and being mortified by what they see.  You know, posts of them trying to kill each other, or of their naked butts doing gymnastics, or them playing with the toilet water (those are the pics that get saved for the "embarrassment/blackmail book" given on their 18th birthdays <-- sarcasm.  I'll give them "those" pics when/if they have their own kids, so they can get a heads up on what to expect )

On 2/10/2017 at 7:50 PM, MargaretElliott said:

-snip-

I think Jill's "He's always right and I'm always wrong" comment speaks more to their marriage then their Facebook page. That's just depressing, man. Does he tell her she's wrong all the time? Or does she assume it because of the way she was raised? Like if she just said, "He's always right," that would have been like a haha marriage joke, but with the "I'm always wrong..." and her sad face... that made my heart sink. Her light has been snuffed out. She used to be optimistic and cheerful. Like, Jill annoys the shit out of me, but damn. I feel bad for her. 

That was a red flag kind of comment for me, too.  If Derick is possible dealing with uncared/undiagnosed health issues, he could very well be getting snippy out of his own frustration/anxiety (and even possibly depression), and sadly, not even realize half the crap he's saying.  Not an excuse, but anger is not an uncommon symptom of depression. 

Unfortunately, with how Michelle reacts to things, I wonder if Jill went to her for some advice, and Michelle actually said, "He's the headship, he's always right in the end."  Or maybe it's both.  But either way, I agree, she seems pretty down and defeated.

22 hours ago, NewOrleansLady said:

Because of my advanced age (69ish) and with a young s-i-l, the day he saw me in my diaper he said, "Look, I'm probably the one who will have to bathe you at some time in the future so there is no need to be  embarrased."  Made me feel a little better knowing he will be around for the long haul and I could depend on him. (no pun intended-really).

I got used to bodily fluids real quick when my brothers came around.  I'm fourteen years older than the oldest, fifteen years older than the middle, and seventeen years older than the youngest - so I got to help raise them <3  I also worked as a PCA for many years. 

Recently my MIL were having a casual conversation about the next decade or so, and I told her that DH and I had already talked about it, and if she needs a place, we'll take care of her (short of her becoming physical at the end stage of Alzheimer's or something - which she doesn't currently have), I can't imagine not taking care of her, just because she might have an accident here and there.  And yes, I know what that means, my Dad has dementia, so I'm comfortable with that kind of living arrangement as long as everyone's safe.

But then again, I like communal living, though I can certainly understand how that's not for everyone

[Eatingintheprayercloset]

So, I wonder how baby naming will go with the Dillards. I think they will go with something like Moses or Solomon. 

[manda b]

I'm thinking it's going to be Judah.

[SassyPants]

I don't think it will be anything classic (like Henry).

[RabbitKM]

On 2/12/2017 at 6:31 AM, Fundie Bunny said:

A shower rack fell, Jill and Derick thought someone had entered the house and cornered themselves into a bathroom while calling home and asking for prayers.

I actually don't think Derrick was home, so it was just Jill and Izzy locked up in the bathroom facetiming home asking for prayers. 

[Dandruff]

5 hours ago, Eatingintheprayercloset said:

So, I wonder how baby naming will go with the Dillards. I think they will go with something like Moses or Solomon. 

Red Sea Dillard?

[Snarkle Motion]

8 hours ago, Dandruff said:

Red Sea Dillard?

I would not be surprised by Zion Dillard. 

[Kak]

I interpreted the "he's always right and I'm always wrong" to be about baby sex predictions, not literally always about everything.

[VineHeart137]

46 minutes ago, Kak said:

I interpreted the "he's always right and I'm always wrong" to be about baby sex predictions, not literally always about everything.

Yes, the way she worded it was questionable, but I do think it's entirely possible she just meant he's good at guessing games like that.

[nst]

1 hour ago, VineHeart137 said:

Yes, the way she worded it was questionable, but I do think it's entirely possible she just meant he's good at guessing games like that.

remember the episode before the show ended and they had to do the guessing games = and Ben and jessa were in sync and Derick and Jill were like not getting anything correct and she was picking on him... I think they are like that a lot 

[eveandadam]

I actually feel a bit sorry for Jill, tbh.

In the last few years her life didn't turn out what she thought it would. She met her husband in a fairy tale way, was the first Duggar daughter to get married and fell pregnant right away. Daddy provided them with a mansion. Derick had his accountant job at Wallmart a great career ahead, she finished her midwife diploma. it was all so great for them, they had it so well they didn't even realize it.

Then her first birth didn't go too well, emergency c-section. Derick left his job at Walmart to be a "missionary" and Jill probably thought "oh great, now we are going to be missionaries and help people find Christ! It will be a great adventure!" BUT what Jilly muffin didn't realize was that going on missionary trips with her parents and at least 10 of her siblings every year for a few weeks before Christmas is not an adventure. She didn't leave her bubble there once, for sure. Derick thought she had what it takes to be a true missionary but there he was wrong. Jill actually is the Duggar girl least able to adapt to harsh environments like that. What she needs is a stable environment with her family around. It baffles me that of all the Duggar girls she was the one to think she would be fit for true missionary work.

What she probably thought is: missionary = having your family around, being safe in a foreign country, speaking only english with a few spanish words here and there and receiving a warm welcome at all times. well, turns out, it could be that just the opposite is true.

[Kak]

I wonder if she has actually learnt anything from all of that. Has she examined herself and her beliefs, has she found a reason for any of it? Does she know herself? 

I doubt it, but maybe she will. It's possible.

[SassyPants]

50 minutes ago, Kak said:

I wonder if she has actually learnt anything from all of that. Has she examined herself and her beliefs, has she found a reason for any of it? Does she know herself? 

I doubt it, but maybe she will. It's possible.

I don't think any of the 2nd generation Duggars will learn, become self aware or form their own individual belief and reasoning systems until at least JB, their collective authority figure, is no longer in the picture.

[singsingsing]

This is one of the most insidious things I experienced in Christianity, actually. You always have to be doing Great Things For Jesus, and if you're not pushing yourself to the satisfaction of outside observers, you're Not Doing Enough. Of course, not all Christians are like that, and the secular equivalent is doing Great Things for Social Media... but I find there's a real problem especially in evangelical Christianity where people seem to forget the Bible passage about everyone being part of the body of Christ, each part having a different purpose, and each being essential to the functioning of the body as a whole. The stay-at-home mom is just as important as the pastor. The accountant is just as important as the missionary.

Society needs a lot of people to fill the 'boring' professions in order to function. The fact that people feel guilty or ashamed of 'only' aiming to be a secretary, a file clerk, a salesperson, a receptionist, a mail carrier or a construction worker is outrageous to me. The doctors, lawyers, CEOs, psychiatrists, missionaries and movie stars of the world wouldn't get far without people working in those supporting positions. If you're satisfied working at a decent job, paying your bills, and supporting yourself/your family, guess what? You're making a positive impact on the world. Even if your job title doesn't sound exciting.

I remember getting so much shade when I told people I wanted to work a 9-5 job in an office, preferably in the public sector. You would not believe the snobby passive aggressive comments. Because, you know, that wasn't good enough. I was supposed to be psychologist or a professor, or even to work at Starbucks part-time while I pursued my art/writing/stand up comedy/comic book/podcast/youtube career. Because God forbid I find fulfillment in working a necessary job, contributing to society, and supporting myself as an independent adult - or that I understand my weaknesses and purposefully pursue work which plays to my strengths - or that I prefer a job which leaves me enough hours in the day to enjoy the things I love outside of work.

Anyway, my point is... Jill. Seriously. It's totally okay to "just" be a stay-at-home mom. Derick, it's totally okay to "just" be an accountant. It's OKAY to want safety, stability, peace, and comfort. It's okay to prioritize self-care. Live in Arkansas. Get a job that pays the bills. Recover your physical and psychological well-being. Go on a month-long mission trip once or twice a year. I promise you, that is enough.

 

[nausicaa]

@singsingsing One thing I never get about evangelical Christianity, particularly Fundamentalism, is how every man is supposed to be a preacher. And their goal is to have everyone in the world live as they do, so an entire world of grown men all trying to preach and sell books to one another I guess? It's like Jesus Amway. 

Who's growing the food, paving the roads, or building your house? 

Churches are a microcosm of this. Every married couple seems to want to plant their own church. But to be successful, churches don't just need pastors but also receptionists and accountants and Sunday school teachers and someone to come and cut the grass. Probably because of my Catholic upbringing it's so foreign to me, but I don't get the focus on having your own church versus finding your place to contribute to the church you already attend.

I know I'm a broken record on this, but I can't believe how ineffective the Rodrigueses are with their BS ministry. They live in a poorer area and definitely could bring a lot more people to their faith if they stayed at their sending church and volunteered to teach Sunday school and clean the church and host VBS fundraisers (or--gasp--get an extra job and donate the earnings to the church). I'm sure the humble church they are from could use the help and a strong Sunday school program would help to pull more attendees to the church.

For people who talk about submitting to the Lord, there seems to be an awful lot of ego flying around.

[Kak]

3 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

I know I'm a broken record on this, but I can't believe how ineffective the Rodrigueses are with their BS ministry. They live in a poorer area and definitely could bring a lot more people to their faith if they stayed at their sending church and volunteered to teach Sunday school and clean the church and host VBS fundraisers (or--gasp--get an extra job and donate the earnings to the church). I'm sure the humble church they are from could use the help and a strong Sunday school program would help to pull more attendees to the church.

There's no showbizzy sparkle in that.  Jill R. has the starring role as she goes from church to church, the matriarch of the troupe. I can't see her in the cleaning and donating role, and allowing others to be the star turn. 

[Carm_88]

2 hours ago, Kak said:

I wonder if she has actually learnt anything from all of that. Has she examined herself and her beliefs, has she found a reason for any of it? Does she know herself? 

I doubt it, but maybe she will. It's possible.

Jill is a Duggar, I'm not sure any of the Duggar's learn from their mistakes. Often times because I don't think that they realize that the are mistakes. J

[Snarkle Motion]

30 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

@singsingsing One thing I never get about evangelical Christianity, particularly Fundamentalism, is how every man is supposed to be a preacher. And their goal is to have everyone in the world live as they do, so an entire world of grown men all trying to preach and sell books to one another I guess? It's like Jesus Amway. 

Who's growing the food, paving the roads, or building your house? 

Jana and John David!!! 

[AnnaRuk09]

1 hour ago, nausicaa said:

@singsingsing One thing I never get about evangelical Christianity, particularly Fundamentalism, is how every man is supposed to be a preacher. And their goal is to have everyone in the world live as they do, so an entire world of grown men all trying to preach and sell books to one another I guess? It's like Jesus Amway. 

Who's growing the food, paving the roads, or building your house? 

Jana's the last one so I am holding on hope for her. Jinger married a pastor, Jessa married an immature pastor wannabe and Jill married a missionary. Jana has been taking care of her siblings for her whole life. I don't get the vibes that she hates doing that or her life like some people suspect. From what we've seen, I think she'd probably love just being a mother and wife. I hope Jana marries a plain and simple hard working guy that treats her like a queen and pampers her in everything. She deserves it. 

[PennySycamore]

@nausicaa,  my husband started his own church, unfortunately.  It's plainly a vanity project.  My husband never found a church that was everything that he wanted it to be, but then he was never involved much in our parish while we were Catholic.  He eventually got more involved when he went to a charismatic church and they figured out that they could soak him if they gave him a role in ministry.   He never learned the lesson to "bloom where you are planted".

I don't have anything to do with his church and never will.  Of course, I'm an ebil atheist now.

[Rachel333]

3 hours ago, nausicaa said:

@singsingsing One thing I never get about evangelical Christianity, particularly Fundamentalism, is how every man is supposed to be a preacher. And their goal is to have everyone in the world live as they do, so an entire world of grown men all trying to preach and sell books to one another I guess? It's like Jesus Amway. 

Who's growing the food, paving the roads, or building your house? 

I agree, but it in Evangelical Christianity it isn't uncommon for preachers to have other jobs as well.

[PennySycamore]

@Rachel333,  you're right about preachers having other jobs, especially in smaller churches.