Family Living on Purpose (FLOP?): Erika Shupe pt. 10

[ChunkyBarbie]

Hugs @anachronistic, that is sad.

I grew up walking to school too, from second grade on.  I can remember trying to cross the street in pea soup fog with no crossing guard, being cold, being hot, getting rained on, the whole gambit.  High school was the worst, it was three miles away and school started at 7:05.  I drive my kids to school and back. If that makes me a helicopter parent, I will gladly own it. 

TRIGGER STORY. In Jr. High we had two kids hit by cars. One ended up in a wheelchair as quadriplegic, he died in high school from complications from the accident. 

[lawlifelgbt]

I was walking to school, alone, some of the time from kindergarten on. (That is, when I wasn't in the before-school-care program and then straight to class from there, if also-teacher mom had to do meetings or work before normal school hours).

Then again, I lived a block from my elementary school, only one small road to cross and there were "crossing guards" of older students with orange flags for it.

My mom taught at high school, 3 blocks from the elementary. Up until 3rd grade for me, a babysitter would pick me up, or I would stay in an after school program for about an hour, until my mom was done. The high school ran 20 minutes later than elementary; she would then have to meet with students or grade a bit.

But when I started 3rd, at 8 with my brother an older kindergartener in all-day (6 since September 1st of the year), my mom decided I was responsible enough to walk with my brother to the high school and hang out in mom's office until she got done after school- and, when she needed to be early, to do the same thing in reverse. Crossed 3 streets, 2 unguarded. Mom told us what route to take and walked it with us the weekend before. It worked fine in most weather; if it was literally blizzarding or there was a cold warning, we would just go home after school. She usually didn't want to leave us there though. And in any case, we still had to walk the block.

When I was in middle school, my dad would try to drive me to school whenever he could, since the morning bus was horrendously crowded. But, going home, the leave times for students were more staggered, so I did that. I had to pay $300 a year for bus service since middle school was 1.95 miles from my house. They had recently raised the local walking limit to two miles and declassified an intersection on the way from "dangerous" to "not dangerous" just so as to not have to bus a bunch more kids.

In high school, I attended where my mom taught. So I would go to school with her early (usually driving, since she always had her purse, laptop, gym bag, and whatever projects or materials she might bring to class- too much to carry- and living in Minnesota, morning walks to school were often frostbite-inducingly cold). But that was only if I had an activity before school or wanted to meet friends or read in the library.

If I was tired, I would walk to school, later than her, in any weather. The worst thing that could happen on the way would be that someone would proselytize to me, since a shortcut went through a group of buildings for a tiny Christian org! I also walked to all of my jobs when I was 15 onwards. My first job was 5 blocks from school, and my second, concurrent one was 7 blocks. I often had to start shifts RIGHT after school, though, so I often ran, or my friend or her dad would give me a lift.

I seriously liked walking places, and I still go for walks daily, in the downtown "skyways" in and between buildings on work breaks in winter, or in the woods by my apartment if the weather is OK (above 45, not pouring or super muddy or flooded). It's important to walk where one can as a kid, and to make towns more walkable. It installs good habits.

I still don't like to work out, per se, because my fitness freak mom made me do it under threat of punishment, but I don't consider walks under a mile or so to be "working out."

[desertvixen]

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Here in "Sin CIty" most kids walk to the schools. It all depends on a variety of factors...for example, if your child goes to the local school, they usually walk in elementary school UNLESS they're going to a magnet or charter school, then they have a bus. Middle and High schools are sort of the same, but with distance figured in. 

@feministxtian, I will say that's a change from our days (FWIW, I graduated in the first class from one of our first magnet schools, so it's been a minute).  Elementary school, I was driven a lot because I went to a little private school with no buses.  5th grade, had to ride my bike about a mile through what was mostly desert (think Lone Mountain right where the people cemetery/animal cemetery are, only pre-1990).  High school was definitely bus - our route served A-TECH and Las Vegas Academy of the Arts (think then it was called Performing and Fine Arts) which are not even close.  I was so happy to get my driver's license.

My younger brothers were bused for a lot of elementary and middle school as well.

 

Where I am now, the kids can walk (and there's a lovely sidewalk with a little bit of fence where the traffic is heaviest) to their elementary schools, but middle school and high school has buses.  I think we get a bus in our neighborhood for the elementary school as well, but as an evil working mom, I send my daughter to evil before-and-after school programs...

[Hane]

On 2/7/2017 at 2:34 AM, JillyO said:

Sometimes America completely baffles me. We started walking to school alone (with friends, but without parents/adults) in first grade, so around age six to seven. That wasn't way out in the country, but in the suburbs. Everyone did it. Every day. All year. Completely normal.

This is what I did as a child (started kindergarten in 1957). It was just under a mile's walk, with sidewalks most of the way and no busy streets to cross.  I still live very close to my childhood neighborhood, and I can't remember the last time I saw unaccompanied grade-schoolers walking to school. Middle- and high-schoolers, yes.

[KnittingOwl]

On 2/1/2017 at 11:47 AM, mango_fandango said:

I will never forget when Erika posted a photo on the old FB page of a drawing done by one of the twins, which was apparently their first attempt at a chart. Only Erika would get excited about that. And possibly Teri Maxwell.

Not going to lie, I would probably be excited about that. But both DH and I are data scientists and spend way too much time with Excel and other charts.

[picklepizzas]

super bummed to read in erika's latest post that melanie and karen are indeed still homeschooling. i know they wouldn't have much time left if they had enrolled in school, but it would still have been such a great social experience for them. instead they're still trapped at home with erika.

[nastyhobbitses]

Re walking to school: I never did. I only lived a mile or so from my elementary school, but the roads in my hometown are decidedly not good for pedestrians. No sidewalks, tons of trees screw up visibility, and suburban housewives barrelling down the roads in tank-sized SUVs. I rode the bus from kindergarten to 12th grade. Now I live in a big city and I hate to drive and love that I can walk and run or take public transit wherever I want to go. I know that eventually I might one day move back to the suburbs, but I just hate driving and not being able to walk.

[lawfulevil]

1 hour ago, picklepizzas said:

super bummed to read in erika's latest post that melanie and karen are indeed still homeschooling. i know they wouldn't have much time left if they had enrolled in school, but it would still have been such a great social experience for them. instead they're still trapped at home with erika.

I bet they would have significant time left in school- I bet that's why Erika's keeping them home.

Why do I think they weren't getting a very good education? Well... Erika didn't like to schedule very much school after lunch, which isn't enough time for high schoolers-

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My own day as well as the children's will begin 30 minutes earlier than it did during the summer months because we need to fit in all of the young kids' school pretty much before lunch time, and most of the older kids' school. 

-and she admits the first thing to go when the schedule doesn't work out is their schooling-

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Prayerfully this timing will work out for the first time this year.  *chuckle*  (It's always taken an hour in past years, to prepare, eat, and clean-up breakfast and be ready to move in to our day.)  We need to get breakfast done in a timely way because we have more children homeschooling this year which will take more time.  If we're not able to get things done in this time frame then I'll have to drop one of their school blocks of time, leaving out one subject.

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For example, in the past I had a couple of school activities for the children which I knew should take maybe 45 minutes at the most, so I planned for a 60-minute block of time.  In reality it always took 90 minutes because it just happened to be the same time of day when I had to switch the laundry, change a few diapers, use the bathroom myself, have a quick snack myself, and check on a couple of siblings so that they could continue in what they were doing.

-she uses a big block of school time on "character training", not academic subjects-

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I put Character First directly after breakfast while every one is still at the table, as this character curriculum is the most important and must be prioritized first. 

-oldest daughters in these huge-family cults end up with a lot of the "mommy" responsibilities, and that means at least some portion of their "homeschool" time was teaching and caring for younger siblings-

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I feel that Tyler and Spencer need a little more time in their schedule with a sibling or myself, but I'm not sure how to work that in yet...I'll have to see if one of the older children regularly finishes their school work before lunch time (they often begin doing it the night before or early in the morning so that they can be done earlier in the day).  If that is the case I'll probably have one of them take some regular time with one of the little boys until I am able; or, they could teach the educational game with the middle kids, for example, while I had time with the little boys.

-I suspect they liked to do their homework at night because it's hard to concentrate on anything hard with that amount of chaos. But we know the older girls also have lots of other sister-mom responsibilities-

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In the past I have enjoyed the older girls being dinner-prep helpers, which is good one-on-one time with them and myself, too.  But they began participating more with the breakfast and lunch duties when the twins were born and needing my attention, so I try to give Karen and Melanie the afternoon "off" from very many responsibilities.  I need them helping more right now when Bob is at work, and less when he's home from work, so this is a plan which the girls enjoy as well; good balance.

So between cooking and cleaning up after breakfast, cooking and cleaning up after lunch, subjects Erika emphasizes that I'd classify as religious (not academic), tutoring their siblings, other chores and childcare, Erika allowing limited hours for school, and the general fundie disdain for educating girls... I really doubt the girls were ready for the "grade level" Erika thinks they're at, and I really doubt that'd be news she'd take well.

They're not going to college anyway, if she keeps them home she can finish pretending to educate them while keeping their sister-mom labor.

[smittykins]

Isn't "Character First" a Gothard thing?

[Lurky]

I really feel for the older daughters, in all the large families we follow, but especially the Shupes.  Here's to every second-generation Fundy family, and all the ones we're following who are still procreating, having nothing but sons from now on.

[JillyO]

I am so confused. Erika says that both older kids are completing high school at home. But Karen should definitely have graduated last year, and probably Melanie too (Erika used to say that she had both of them in the same grade to make things easier). Erika has also said that Karen is out of the house most of the day for work. So is she still finishing up high school or not? I really wish Erika would just come out and say what things are really like. I am just about done with her bullshit "I won't go into the details, BUT you should still listen to my advice."

[Howl]

Here's to hoping the two oldest girls get an apartment together!  Soon! 

Do the Shupe's attend a church or are they "home churched"? 

[mango_fandango]

She does mention dual enrolment schemes for college, though, in the post, which gives me a glimmer of hope. Well, the post specifically mentions that she supports dual enrolment, and mentions a site where you can gain some college credits. At the very end she also mentions a site where you can get things like graduation caps and gowns etc, so maybe the girls will graduate this year? Maybe they're just doing elective-type stuff this year to get a better transcript, or are just making sure they have a complete transcript. 

Erika being deliberately cagey is not helping matters. Mentioning some things and not others really isn't painting a clear picture. It makes for confusing reading. 

They do attend a church. They've mentioned before which one- Spring Creek Bible Church in Bellingham I believe.

[lauraloralara]

13 minutes ago, Howl said:

Here's to hoping the two oldest girls get an apartment together!  Soon! 

Do the Shupe's attend a church or are they "home churched"? 

They go to a very TULIP-y (Calvinist) church near their house, IIRC. Someone on here is bound to actually remember the church's name. 

ETA: Mango got the answer... I have got to learn to read before I post. 

[picklepizzas]

So., the comments about how Erika might be on the PTA made me realize....how awkward is it going to be when the moms at school stumble upon this website? It just occurred to me that most of the people followed by FJ homeschool, and are thus able to restrict their social circle to people who have very similar lifestyles to them, wouldn't care about this site, and are in fact probably already discussed on this site.  but now that she's in public school, there's just no way that the other parents aren't going to eventually stumble upon this while searching for erika on facebook or trying to find the blog that they know she writes....FJ comes up pretty quickly on Erika's google search results. 

[Hisey]

Maybe Karen took the GED or the SAT and did really poorly. As a result, Bob insisted the younger ones go to school to get a better education. The older girls stayed at home and Karen got an extra year of "high school" to try to catch up with her peers. (It's also possible the older girls did not want to enter public high school after so many years of home schooling, especially if Karen was enjoying her job and making money)

This would also explain why Erika was reluctant to tell us why she put the kids in PS

[usmcmom]

According to her latest post, parents can join a "government run homeschool co-op" in which parents are given a STYPEN. 

STIPEND!! I believe the word you're looking for is stipend, Erika! 

To sum up: 

The Shupes "had to" stop homeschooling except they are still homseschooling. Others might be afraid to homeschool for high school but they should not be because the Shupes are doing it. Except they aren't, really. But they are. 

No wait; they're NOT homeschooling anymore. But you should definitely tackle high school homeschooling. Except don't. 

But there are STYPENS available if you choose to homeschool. So choose homeschooling because it is best. Except it is not. 

[lawfulevil]

The scary part is Erika went to college... a lot of these fundie mothers only got a SOTDRT education themselves.

I really can't decide if that kind of incompetence or the scary-competent ones frighten me more- they're both trying to breed armies for the culture wars, but it doesn't seem like Erika's brood is going to be ready to go into politics. I mean, really it seems like Erika and her ilk are breeding the future Evangelical underclass that the high-competence, high-aggression families will need to fulfill their twin visions of unrestrained capitalism in a strict Evangelical Christian theocracy.

On the bright side, Erika will get to be an Aunt, so she's got that going for her. I'm clearly an Unwoman.

[Hisey]

5 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

She does mention dual enrolment schemes for college, though, in the post, which gives me a glimmer of hope. Well, the post specifically mentions that she supports dual enrolment, and mentions a site where you can gain some college credits. At the very end she also mentions a site where you can get things like graduation caps and gowns etc, so maybe the girls will graduate this year? Maybe they're just doing elective-type stuff this year to get a better transcript, or are just making sure they have a complete transcript. 

Erika being deliberately cagey is not helping matters. Mentioning some things and not others really isn't painting a clear picture. It makes for confusing reading. 

They do attend a church. They've mentioned before which one- Spring Creek Bible Church in Bellingham I believe.

Yes, that is definitely Erika's church. I went to the facebook page and both Erika and Bob had commented there.

Here's another post from that facebook page:

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Reminder: Keepers at Home is tonight! No need to sign up!

All ladies, age 6+, be encouraged in the essentials of Biblical girlhood; a study by Abigail Larsen, "A Titus 2 girl...is learning to be submissive" (based on Titus 2:3-5). You will also receive a cleaning kit and a "certificate of completion" for participating in five hands-on workshops in "cleaning more efficiently". Bring; your Bible, an apron (if you have one) and be prepared to recite your memory verse! (Titus 2:3-5 and Titus Chap 2) Wed. Feb 1 at 7 PM 

Hard to believe this is 2017 and such things exist.

[Chocolatedefrauded]

A cleaning kit? Are you shitting me? What does it contain - a small broom for a 6 yr old? Your very own scrub brush? A duster? 

[lawfulevil]

14 minutes ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

A cleaning kit? Are you shitting me? What does it contain - a small broom for a 6 yr old? Your very own scrub brush? A duster? 

doTERRA samples, probably.

[Loveday]

3 hours ago, usmcmom said:

According to her latest post, parents can join a "government run homeschool co-op" in which parents are given a STYPEN. 

STIPEND!! I believe the word you're looking for is stipend, Erika! 

To sum up: 

The Shupes "had to" stop homeschooling except they are still homseschooling. Others might be afraid to homeschool for high school but they should not be because the Shupes are doing it. Except they aren't, really. But they are. 

No wait; they're NOT homeschooling anymore. But you should definitely tackle high school homeschooling. Except don't. 

But there are STYPENS available if you choose to homeschool. So choose homeschooling because it is best. Except it is not. 

I didn't think anything could top STIROPHOME,  but STYPEN is now my new favourite Erika-ism, 

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Reminder: Keepers at Home is tonight! No need to sign up!

All ladies, age 6+, be encouraged in the essentials of Biblical girlhood; a study by Abigail Larsen, "A Titus 2 girl...is learning to be submissive" (based on Titus 2:3-5). You will also receive a cleaning kit and a "certificate of completion" for participating in five hands-on workshops in "cleaning more efficiently". Bring; your Bible, an apron (if you have one) and be prepared to recite your memory verse! (Titus 2:3-5 and Titus Chap 2) Wed. Feb 1 at 7 PM 

 

 

2 hours ago, Hisey said:

Hard to believe this is 2017 and such things exist.

How anyone in 2017 could keep a straight face while typing that workshop description is beyond me.

[mango_fandango]

I doubt the Shupe girls will be attending. Erika already knows the best way to clean, y'all. She's said that she makes her kids clean the house using her methods for specific tasks because she reckons she has the "best" and most efficient way. I say as long as the damn oven gets cleaned, who the fuck cares HOW it's cleaned?

[KnittingOwl]

13 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

I doubt the Shupe girls will be attending. Erika already knows the best way to clean, y'all. She's said that she makes her kids clean the house using her methods for specific tasks because she reckons she has the "best" and most efficient way. I say as long as the damn oven gets cleaned, who the fuck cares HOW it's cleaned?

I might actually read tips on cleaning an oven. I've never had one nice enough to have self clean. Current oven has self clean and steam clean! So many questions: which one is better to get burnt food off the bottom? How do you steam clean? Which one is less smelly?

ETA: also "burnt" or "burned"? I've always used burnt, and that's what I say too. But it looks weird. 

[mango_fandango]

No idea. It's like ee-ther or eye-ther likewise nee-ther or nigh-ther. I never know the difference. Like with spelt/spelled. Smelt/smelled. I'm sure there is some sort of difference although not sure what!