Family Living on Purpose (FLOP?): Erika Shupe pt. 10

[mango_fandango]

2 hours ago, Howl said:

This is an interesting (and important) point.  

Also, since I don't have direct experience -- it is possible that OCD can worsen and become overwhelming with time?  If so, what would trigger a worsening?  Sorry for the TMI, Erika, but could be some pre-menopausal stuff going on as well. 

Also, wonder if Erika is finding out that public school is mighty fine, the kids are thriving, and that has triggered a (very slight) re-evaluation of her beliefs. 

After the two oldest girls, what are the ages and genders (no names, please) of the next two or three kids?

14, 11, 10. Fourteen and ten year olds are boys, 11 year old is a girl.

I did have the same lunch every day. But I didn't really give a damn. Occasionally the cheese/ham sandwich would be a sausage one, but not often. 

[divadivine]

I didn't think schools allowed students to bring peanut butter in their lunches anymore because of allergies. I could see Erika causing a stink about it...because she's Erika.

[littlemommy]

3 minutes ago, divadivine said:

I didn't think schools allowed students to bring peanut butter in their lunches anymore because of allergies. I could see Erika causing a stink about it...because she's Erika.

Our allows it, and it's a good thing, because peanut butter is all one son will eat. If there is a classmate with allergies they make one side of the table peanut free. Neither of my boys have a classmate with allergies this year, so it's a peanut free for all at lunch.

Both of my kids (kindergarten and 2nd grade) can bring one snack for the remainder of the day, and if there is no one with peanut allergies in the room they can bring peanut products then, also.

 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

So far, both my kids can have peanut butter at school, but another mom at their school told me that her daughter (in a different class) couldn't bring peanut butter. So, I guess our school has a policy like @littlemommy described. 

[elliha]

My child's preschool is nutfree but Swedish kids get all their meals at school so that is no problem for me. I am mildly allergic to peanuts myself, I am not sure my daughter has ever eaten peanuts because they are not in our home or in school but hopefully she is not allergic. We are also free of most other nuts (I can eat almonds, pistachios and cashews), almost free of eggs and fish. My husband is allergic to the latter two but we do buy cookies with eggs in them because he doesn't like sweets and I occasionally eat fish that comes in a can because he can't stand the smell of fish cooking and I still want to eat fish sometimes.

[Clementine]

On 2017-03-14 at 1:11 PM, Howl said:

This is an interesting (and important) point.  

Also, since I don't have direct experience -- it is possible that OCD can worsen and become overwhelming with time?  If so, what would trigger a worsening?  Sorry for the TMI, Erika, but could be some pre-menopausal stuff going on as well. 

Also, wonder if Erika is finding out that public school is mighty fine, the kids are thriving, and that has triggered a (very slight) re-evaluation of her beliefs. 

After the two oldest girls, what are the ages and genders (no names, please) of the next two or three kids?

 

Many things. In Erica's case my guess is that the kids are getting older and if they have a will of their own or aren't into Erika's lifestyle, she may feel like she is losing control over the situation. (The kids demands that she chops their salads in bigger pieces, omg!) That could trigger the OCD.

It's normal for parents to have less control over their kids as they get older and more independent but for a person with OCD that would probably be a very difficult situation.

[crawfishgirl]

Wasn't there a big argument on FJ many years back about peanut butter?  I've seen people mention it, but never saw the actual discussion.  Was it about sending pb sandwiches to school, since some kids have allergies?  

[slickcat79]

6 hours ago, crawfishgirl said:

Wasn't there a big argument on FJ many years back about peanut butter?  I've seen people mention it, but never saw the actual discussion.  Was it about sending pb sandwiches to school, since some kids have allergies?  

The first rule of The Great Peanut Butter War is that you NEVER ASK about The Great Peanut Butter War.

Spoiler

http://freejinger.yuku.com/topic/6281/Needs-outweighing-needs-misunderstanding?page=1#.WMmp_dIrIdU

 

[grandmadugger]

A handful of crackers, half a tortilla, and some peanut butter is a lunch?  That's a snack.  I wonder if Erika will get a note from a teacher to please send more food or if the teachers just sneak the kid more food.

[Hisey]

1 hour ago, grandmadugger said:

A handful of crackers, half a tortilla, and some peanut butter is a lunch?  That's a snack.  I wonder if Erika will get a note from a teacher to please send more food or if the teachers just sneak the kid more food.

I feel so bad for the Shupe kids. They must finish their "lunch" and then eye the other kids' food. I bet there's lots of "Can I have some of your. . . "

And what about Brandon? He's a fourteen-year old boy. The fourteen-year old boys I know need 10x that amount of food for lunch.

Why does she keep those kids hungry? Is it cheapness, poverty, ignorance or fear of them getting fat?

[feministxtian]

3 hours ago, grandmadugger said:

A handful of crackers, half a tortilla, and some peanut butter is a lunch?  That's a snack.  I wonder if Erika will get a note from a teacher to please send more food or if the teachers just sneak the kid more food.

half a tortilla? Half? I used to make pb&j "roll ups" with tortillas...it took 3-4 to fill up the average kid. Hell, my kids would bring lunch then buy a lunch! I'd get treated to looking at their butts when they got home too. Hell, back in the "dark ages" when my kids were small and we lived in Indiana, I still spent about 100 bucks/wk for groceries! I can't imagine what a regular grocery bill would be now for 9 growing children...I spend at least 75/wk for just the two of us...depending on what we've run out of...we could go as high as 100/wk. Feeding that tribe would have to be at least 300/wk. 

 

1 hour ago, Hisey said:

Why does she keep those kids hungry? Is it cheapness, poverty, ignorance or fear of them getting fat?

I think it's cheapness and control. If they're hungry they're not going to be raising a lot of hell. 

[defraudingjezebel]

1 hour ago, Hisey said:

Why does she keep those kids hungry? Is it cheapness, poverty, ignorance or fear of them getting fat?

I think its a combination of all of these factors. She's openly said that she's trying to keep her oldest girls from gaining weight by making them eat salads for lunch (back in the homeschool days). I think she'd also have a hard time deciding on the exact amount to give to the older kids. She seems to be a stickler about everyone getting the same thing and not being able to decide what (or how much?) they receive. Being grateful for what you have, yadda yadda yadda... 

[ILoveJellybeans]

My lunch for my eight year old (she is the only one who has a packed lunch, as she is a fussy eater), is bigger than what she gives Brandon. Wouldn't even fill my five year old, when we pack a lunch when we go out somewhere, she gets more than that.

I give her a cheese and ham sandwich, a yoghurt, a piece of fruit (usually a banana), juice and a treat, like a little cake or cookie. My oldest little brother lived with me for a few years between the age of 10-13. I also packed him a lunch as that was his choice, and by the age of 13, I was adding extra to that, I would give him two pieces of fruit, or even three, and an extra healthy snack (like string cheese, crackers etc.).

[Howl]

8 hours ago, Hisey said:

Why does she keep those kids hungry? Is it cheapness, poverty, ignorance or fear of them getting fat?

 

A Fourteen-year-old in the middle of a growth spurt can eat the foundation out from under a house.  Half a tortilla, crackers and peanut butter -- that's just cheap carbs and some fat with minimal protein.    Half of a flour tortilla is 60 to 70 calories. One tablespoon of peanut butter is about 100 calories.   A serving size of Triscuits is 120 calories.  That's 290 calories.  Or we can be generous and assume that it's a heaping tablespoon or even TWO and add in some more calories.  But where are the other 2,000 calories?

Quote

According to the USDA, moderately active boys age 9 to 13 need about 1,800 to 2,200 calories per day and moderately active teenage boys ages 14 to 18 require about 2,400 to 2,800 calories each day.

Big smiles on E.'s FB, though, and she does look healthy.  

She is selling odds and ends on line, or does she do that often? 

[mango_fandango]

I usually had two wraps split in half, so four halves. One wrap would be cheese and Marmite (so British) and the other would be ham. I'd have a juice carton, piece of fruit and some raisins. Not the hugest amount, but more than Brandon gets, and I never had a particularly enormous appetite anyway. When I was in the final two years of secondary school we could go off site and buy lunch, and I'd usually get a premade wrap, a bag of crisps and Coke Zero (£3 meal deal for the win).

[Howl]

Erika's fb has pictures of a camping trip, and a sandwich making spread on the picnic table -- probably from last summer.  There is a lot of sliced lunch meat, lettuce, mustard, etc. Doesn't look like anyone would be on a starvation diet. 

Here's my sincere hope for Erika:  That having the kids in public school is giving her a huge amount of breathing space and that she is able to take a few minutes to get really get to know herself.  Or even that having time alone to clean and organize the house (!) gives her a sense of control and makes things easier for the kids.  That the changes are letting a tiny crack of light into her life, and at some point, she'll just open the door and let the light flood in. 

[elliha]

Yeah, as usual Erika likes underfeeding the kids in the name of order and stability. Well, everything couldn't change could it? 

For the youngest I guess it might be enough if they are kids with a small apetite but for the rest of them it seems like very little food. I would at the very least add fruit and vegetables and perhaps yogurt or some extra cheese or ham for my 4 year old. For the older kids I would add more sandwiches. Water would be my choice too as a drink or maybe milk but I don't generally allow my kids to have sweet drinks, it's a treat in our house (and no, I am not Erika's secret cousin).

[HermioneSparrow]

That's too little food, I'm not a mom but when I was a sister mom to my little sis I packed her usually a large tuna or cheese and ham panini, a pack of strawberries or two bananas, juice carton and some cookies by the time she was around eleven. Erika is SO cheap, teenage boys eat a lot I really feel sorry for Brandon and all of the kids, if she wants to keep them healthy they should just play sports and have healthy but good big meals.

[TeddyBonkers]

My kids are obsessed with "Johnny Appleseeds"-tortillas smeared with peanut butter, filled with thin sliced apples, and rolled like a burrito. Probably could use sunbutter for allergy-friendly classes. 

[grandmadugger]

Today's lunch at the local elementary school was - lasagna, salad, garlic bread, and a banana.  

[Anonymousguest]

For snack at preschool (nut free campus) I'll give dd half a ham sandwich, a bunch of baby carrots, some Apple slices or a cutie and a granola bar they eat at 11. She comes home at 1 and has lunch.

My boys ate so much between 13-17 it was insane. They would eat pretty much all of everything I putt out at and given meal. And then snack an hour later.  I have friends with little boys who already eat more than their moms, and I tell them just wait! Lol. 

[KDA]

35 minutes ago, Anonymousguest said:

For snack at preschool (nut free campus) I'll give dd half a ham sandwich, a bunch of baby carrots, some Apple slices or a cutie and a granola bar they eat at 11. She comes home at 1 and has lunch.

My boys ate so much between 13-17 it was insane. They would eat pretty much all of everything I putt out at and given meal. And then snack an hour later.  I have friends with little boys who already eat more than their moms, and I tell them just wait! Lol. 

I have 2 boys and 2 girls, even pre-teen girls eat an astonishing amount!! At least, mine do! For their school lunch today I packed them each 2 sandwiches (one was peanut butter, the other ham, cheese & tomato), 2 pikelets with plum jam (sometimes this would be a muffin or some slice, it just depends what I baked), a yogurt, an apple and a banana, and a muesli bar (a bought one because I'm too lazy to bake *everything* they eat). When they get home at 3.30 they'll have toast and more fruit, and eat any baking in sight. 

I do think, though, that some boys just make absolute pigs of themselves. We have friends who have an 8 year old boy. He regularly eats more than my teenage son (nearly 14) he just keeps eating and eating and eating and eating, it's ridiculous! There is no reason in the world for him to need that much food. Yes, he's overweight, at just 8 years old - he's only 6kg lighter than my son, and my son is fairly average size and weight.  There needs to be a balance. Yes, adolescents eat a lot, but we're not doing our kids any favours by just letting them eat and eat and eat and eat with no restrictions, especially when they're an unhealthy weight and not particularly active. Active kids need more, kids who sit in front of their screens (as the boy I mentioned above does) need to eat less.

[Anonymousguest]

I had girls too, and they never ate any amount near what my teen boys did. And my boys were (are) skinny, and not particularly tall either. 

[KDA]

24 minutes ago, Anonymousguest said:

I had girls too, and they never ate any amount near what my teen boys did. And my boys were (are) skinny, and not particularly tall either. 

Yes people have told me to just wait ... my girls are 10 & 12 and eat heaps, but my 13 year old son hasn't had his huge growth spurt yet so I imagine his appetite is going to double or even triple soon. 

[Sobeknofret]

My 13 year-old is having a huge growth spurt at the moment. His lunch today was four large buns stuffed with cheese and pepperoni, pizza sauce to dip them in, cherry tomatoes, a whole apple, parmesan goldfish crackers, yogurt, milk in a tetra pack, and a Clif Kids protein bar. He ate everything, and had a snack of yogurt, fruit, and granola when I picked him up from school. There is no way in hell Erika is packing those kids enough food.