Duggars by the Dozen, Parts 25- More threads than Duggars

[nst]

4 minutes ago, calimojo said:

I saw this and thought the same thing.  But wow, seeing the picture blown up like this is interesting to me.  Jill looks drawn and dead in the eyes, Jessa looks pretty but older than her years, Joy looks pretty,  Jana looks over it and Jinger looks better without the heavy eye liner.  But what really stands out, is that Jessa is dead center.  It is clear to me that for the purposes of carrying the torch of the duggar machine,  it is Jessa who is seen as the lead.  Which is unfortunate given she isn't very interesting.  It does remind me of the Kardashians, in that Kim was the main one, but she has no real personality,  so they have to bring in the others, and then manufacture drama, etc to keep it going. 

Jessa just doesn't hold my interest and her fake laugh drives me nuts.  Her baby is adorable, and I think she is at her best when she is shown in some unguarded moments with him, but other than that she is dull as dirt. 

Ben wants to be interesting.  I think he is bored with Jessa.  He was blinded by her beauty and his own normal teenaged hormones.  But he is not going to be content with Jessa and her narrow view of life.  Ben is seeking more knowledge and more experiences.  He is not exactly interesting on his own, but he at least has interest in things outside of the confines of the clan.

Jessa not only wants to be the new matriarch but is demanding it.  But as you said her voice and laugh and the way she treats people ie her siblings speaks volumes.  She has no personality though and it shines through when she does the TH's it's all robotics and forced.  I wonder what would happen if she wasn't so forced.

Spurg is beyond adorable yes.  

Jill I never cared about.... so my opinions are that she and Derick are insane if they go back to SCA especially while pregnant. But again these two Derick and Jill do seem old and now unhappy.   To me she can't seem to hold anything together.  The others I really don't care about.  

Now I don't recall how Jessa talked to Jana in the original series but in the new series and I think because she is "Married" she is considered someone better.  Yet, the funny thing is Jana does everything for the family. 

I think Ben is expected to become the minister and it's harder for him than originally planned. 

It's obvious Ben is trying to grow at every event he wants to do but being around Jessa who is so rigid and not relaxed I wonder how long before he cracks. 

[Carm_88]

I think Jessa does have a personality, she's just not allowed to show it really because of the cult that she's in. And they are turning toward Jessa because they can't show the griftonaries. Jinger and Jeremy are in Laredo, so they may film them, Joy and Austin will be shown once they get married but by that time Jessa will be on baby #3. And they will keep Jana to a minimum, because CinderJana. 

[OyToTheVey]

4 hours ago, nst said:

 

Now I don't recall how Jessa talked to Jana in the original series but in the new series and I think because she is "Married" she is considered someone better.  Yet, the funny thing is Jana does everything for the family. 

 

This doesn't just happen in fundyland. My parents practically forced me to get a masters. And yet at shabbat dinners, I get the wine after my cousins wife because she's married with kids and people always forget that I'm older than her. I think it's just a generation thing.

[calimojo]

If anyone else in here is a lover of Jane Austen,  you will remember in Pride and Prejudice when  younger sister Lydia returns as a married woman (after the scandal of running off with Mr Wickham),  She steps in front of the lovely Jane and tells her now that she is married, she gets to go first behind, behind her parents.  So the idea of a married child having more status in the family is age old. 

[Fundie Bunny]

Lydia was such a bitch. 

[marmalade]

19 hours ago, Purrl said:

Oh maybe. I'm geographically challenged - is that close enough to stay at home?

It was a one-day thing. Even the leghumper who wrote the FB post admitted it was nice to have the kids there "TODAY." Not "for the session" or whatever. Not to mention, they're already a month into legislation, and they show up two weeks late? Yup, it was a one-off. 

[eveandadam]

20 hours ago, OyToTheVey said:

This doesn't just happen in fundyland. My parents practically forced me to get a masters. And yet at shabbat dinners, I get the wine after my cousins wife because she's married with kids and people always forget that I'm older than her. I think it's just a generation thing.

Agreed! In my family it's not the marriage status, but being heterosexual and having children that is considered the rite of passage to adulthood. So I am practically still considered a child because I don't have children and am married to a woman, which, for some of my family members, means that I am still not to be trusted with important decisions and will not be asked to help with important things like planning a big family gathering or a meal for 14 people or just about anything.

So, this is not a fundie thing. It's all about social status and where you are on the latter.

 

Plus it's funny to see how in patriarchal families women fight for the position of the matriarch because that's the only position of power that can be assigned to a woman, even though this position is the most stressful one in most families, because the matriarch keeps the family together.

With the Duggars I don't see a matriarch in the family. It might be Jana for the whole Duggar family including the grandchildren. Michelle is socially awkward, Jessa is a take-charge person, but ultimately too self absorbed, Jill is too nervous, Jinger is far away and Anna has her own BIG problems in form of her husband.

[CorruptionInc.]

On 05/02/2017 at 3:28 AM, nst said:

Jill I never cared about.... so my opinions are that she and Derick are insane if they go back to SCA especially while pregnant. But again these two Derick and Jill do seem old and now unhappy.   To me she can't seem to hold anything together.  The others I really don't care about.  

Jill is a mess in my opinion. She went from having so much reassurance (from her parents) that she was the best, did everything right and could do no wrong. All while having a fairy tale spouted to her "what life will be like". 

Now she doesn't have constant reassurance. She's by herself, she has to make decisions without help from idiot parents. Her fairy tale is not quite how she pictured it. She didn't expect to have a trying birth. Of course, she hasn't been taught that sometimes, life doesn't go to plan. She can't handle it.

I may also feel a tiny bit sorry for her in that aspect... maybe. I'm pretty sure she's still a disgusting human being.

[Bad Wolf]

I thought they said they would return to SCA unless she got pregnant. That was when they first  came back. Well this last time they came back. They've been back a few times.

[anotherone]

7 hours ago, eveandadam said:

Agreed! In my family it's not the marriage status, but being heterosexual and having children that is considered the rite of passage to adulthood. So I am practically still considered a child because I don't have children and am married to a woman, which, for some of my family members, means that I am still not to be trusted with important decisions and will not be asked to help with important things like planning a big family gathering or a meal for 14 people or just about anything.

Ok, like wouldn't you think a two-woman couple would be *better* at planning a gathering and cooking large meals?  ...You should make the stereotypes work in your favor.

[DaniLouisiana]

My SIL and I split matriarch duties-she's the oldest and I'm the Mama. We are the ones that went to the in-laws(her parents) safe deposit box, we will decide together who gets what of MIL's jewelry and we are the ones that put Kiddo in the family house as caretaker. But with any major decisions concerning the trust, she has the deciding vote. We also plan all the family gatherings with input from her wife on the menus because she's a chef.

[Bad Wolf]

I'm guessing the Duggars aren't watching Lady Gaga in the Superbowl half time show. Just a guess.

[onekidanddone]

On 2/4/2017 at 3:39 PM, OyToTheVey said:

This doesn't just happen in fundyland. My parents practically forced me to get a masters. And yet at shabbat dinners, I get the wine after my cousins wife because she's married with kids and people always forget that I'm older than her. I think it's just a generation thing.

I had a great aunt who treated me like this.  She was raised orthodox, but got in people's faces that she was an atheist.  Religion was a "crutch" she used to say.  One year she wrote big checks to my siblings when they married (no, not to each other).... Me?  She gave me a Cuisinart. She said it was because I would  never get married. Gee thanks auntie... It felt like a consolation prize.  I did get married, many  years after she died. @OyToTheVey I love your user name.

[MamaJunebug]

2 hours ago, anotherone said:

Ok, like wouldn't you think a two-woman couple would be *better* at planning a gathering and cooking large meals?  ...You should make the stereotypes work in your favor.

I disagree. I think the lovely women (eveandadam & her wife) should sit down with a glass of their favorite beverage apiece and wait to be asked to contribute whatever measly chore the gals in charge assign them. It works for the guys!!! ;-D

[OyToTheVey]

12 hours ago, onekidanddone said:

I had a great aunt who treated me like this.  She was raised orthodox, but got in people's faces that she was an atheist.  Religion was a "crutch" she used to say.  One year she wrote big checks to my siblings when they married (no, not to each other).... Me?  She gave me a Cuisinart. She said it was because I would  never get married. Gee thanks auntie... It felt like a consolation prize.  I did get married, many  years after she died. @OyToTheVey I love your user name.

hehe thanks! 

 

My family isn't even religious. Just old school soviet lol but my cousin turned religious after his divorce and his new wife is. So we still have shabbat dinners. Your great aunt sounds like my gramma. I know my gramma loved me but it was always cousin this and cousin that. I hated him growing up. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

16 hours ago, DaniLouisiana said:

My SIL and I split matriarch duties-she's the oldest and I'm the Mama. We are the ones that went to the in-laws(her parents) safe deposit box, we will decide together who gets what of MIL's jewelry and we are the ones that put Kiddo in the family house as caretaker. But with any major decisions concerning the trust, she has the deciding vote. We also plan all the family gatherings with input from her wife on the menus because she's a chef.

I'm the oldest daughter, but I'm the "poor black sheep" so my parents always tried to get my brother or my sister do these things. My brother is too cheap and his wife is too lazy to plan anything, my sister is to wishy washy to do anything. I plan everything and we do it at my sisters house, that is what she gets for building at 4000 sq foot monstrosity, compared to my 1800 sq feet. I also do all the cooking because again, sister in law is too lazy, and my sister won't eat it if it doesn't come of the Culver's Menu. But with no pickles, onions, mayo or anything with it. 

[Kira]

On 1/31/2017 at 9:50 AM, CreationMuseumCurator said:

I'm pretty sure this is her on the far right at Jessa's baby shower. If she's just a family friend, it could mean nothing, but...yeah, I'll throw the speculation out there. I think this girl's going to be a Duggar.

I saw this photo on Lily and Ellie's blog. It was captioned Do you recognize the women in this photo?"(or something like that). I'm convinced that at least one of the Duggar boys is courting.

[WhyNotJulie]

I really expected Jill & Derick to be the couple who I liked more, and who had their stuff together. I assumed Jessa and Ben would be the couple that continually seemed immature, and who would continue to show that they hadn't thought their marriage through before jumping in with both feet. But as time goes on, and especially after seeing that photo of Jessa & Ben looking positively normal at a Super Bowl party with friends wearing pants (!!!) and skirts above the knee (!!!),  I find myself liking Jill & Derick less and less, and Jessa & Ben more and more.

Ben is obviously a few tater tots short of a casserole, and he wears those God-awful preachy T-shirts and hats all the time, but he and Jessa seem to be growing as a couple, and seem to be maturing in good time. Jill and Derick look less and less comfortable with each other as time goes on, Jill seems more like a child with each passing day and Derick seems more like a zealot without a cause. I had so much hope for Derick. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

13 hours ago, WhyNotJulie said:

SNIP 

I had so much hope for Derick. 

So did I. I do think he had no idea just how useless/helpless Jill was going to be,  I do think he thought they would marry and run off an do missionary work together, I think her getting pregnant so quickly shocked them both. He is trying to figure out where he fits into Jill's family, because she can't/won't live away from them so he is stuck in NW Arkansas. I'm also starting to wonder if jill is suffering from kind of PPD that she won't ever get treated for. that would explain so much of what she's doing right now. 

[JMO]

14 hours ago, WhyNotJulie said:

 

Ben is obviously a few tater tots short of a casserole, and he wears those God-awful preachy T-shirts and hats all the time, 

I totally agree with everything you said but this one line killed me.  I agree about the awful tee shirts too.  UGH.  The two of them are obnoxious but the Dillards make me want to bang my head against a wall.  And Jessa continually pulling this $hit of not revealing the gender or the baby's name until the last possible second.  Total fame whoring.  I guess when you grow up one of 19 you do anything for attention.  Like, say, string along the idea that it could be twins until you are 40 weeks pregnant?  

[jas]

1 hour ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I do think he had no idea just how useless/helpless Jill was going to be,  I do think he thought they would marry and run off an do missionary work together, I think her getting pregnant so quickly shocked them both.

If getting pregnant soon after having unprotected sex shocked Jill, she may be an even worse midwife than we had previously assumed! And Derick has no excuse to be surprised either, he knew well the brand he was marrying into.

I do think they both would have loved travelling the world together without the hard work and responsibility that goes with having kids. Experiences that seem like adventures as a childless couple become scary and overwhelming when you have a small child to care for and keep safe.

[singsingsing]

33 minutes ago, jas said:

If getting pregnant soon after having unprotected sex shocked Jill, she may be an even worse midwife than we had previously assumed! And Derick has no excuse to be surprised either, he knew well the brand he was marrying into.

Jill saying recently in a People magazine interview, "Now I know that labour can be unpredictable" pretty much told me all I need to know about her midwifery knowledge, skills, and common sense.

[fish_ca]

20 hours ago, Kira said:

I saw this photo on Lily and Ellie's blog. It was captioned Do you recognize the women in this photo?"(or something like that). I'm convinced that at least one of the Duggar boys is courting.

She looks like one of Chad Paine's sisters to me. Abigail or Hannah I think.

[Carm_88]

http://people.com/tv/duggar-family-quotes

Ahhh People, I'm so glad that you though that the joyfully available quote by Michelle was perfect enough to include. 

[CorruptionInc.]

5 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Jill saying recently in a People magazine interview, "Now I know that labour can be unpredictable" pretty much told me all I need to know about her midwifery knowledge, skills, and common sense.

You've got to wonder how much midwifery they're actually taught...