Jinger and Jeremy: Married with...No Children (yet)

[Finduilas]

The program and invitations are lovely. Much better than the ones done by Smuggar!

[socalrules]

I have a hard time believing that there were any paparazzi at the wedding. Paparazzi go where they can take pictures that would sell for large amounts of money. Jinger's wedding isn't going to sell for much, if anything. No real paparazzi from Los Angeles or New York, where there are real stars, is going to go to pay to go to Arkansas for pictures that would be lucky to sell for a few hundred dollars at most and that's if they are lucky. Jennifer Garner picking her kids up from soccer will sell for more. 

  Jinger is a "star" in FJ world but not the world outside it. I would put money on most people not even knowing there was a Jinger Duggar. Hell, I would put money on most people not being able to name even two Duggar kids and josh would most likely be one of them. No one cares if a Duggar gets married. I think we put too much stock in the "fame" of these people because we are fascinated by them and study them like we are writing a research paper. I have stopped even mentioning fundies to my friends because they think I am weird enough and have no interest in such madness. 

[LMDinHarlem]

In Praise of Naked Cake - I had one as my wedding cake 6 years ago - it was carrot cake, apple cake and spice cake with cream cheese frosting between the layers- and my wedding guests are still talking about how it was the best wedding cake they ever had. For those who worry that naked cakes will dry out before serving, I'll mention that professional bakers "punch" a cake - that is they add moisture to it - after it's baked, whether they are frosting the whole thing or not because they have to bake large cakes several days before they plan to serve them.  I know the discussion has moved on from cake - I just had to chime in!
 

[withaj]

57 minutes ago, socalrules said:

I have a hard time believing that there were any paparazzi at the wedding. Paparazzi go where they can take pictures that would sell for large amounts of money. Jinger's wedding isn't going to sell for much, if anything. No real paparazzi from Los Angeles or New York, where there are real stars, is going to go to pay to go to Arkansas for pictures that would be lucky to sell for a few hundred dollars at most and that's if they are lucky. Jennifer Garner picking her kids up from soccer will sell for more. 

  Jinger is a "star" in FJ world but not the world outside it. I would put money on most people not even knowing there was a Jinger Duggar. Hell, I would put money on most people not being able to name even two Duggar kids and josh would most likely be one of them. No one cares if a Duggar gets married. I think we put too much stock in the "fame" of these people because we are fascinated by them and study them like we are writing a research paper. I have stopped even mentioning fundies to my friends because they think I am weird enough and have no interest in such madness. 

We already know there were paps at the wedding. Where do you think the Daily Mail got those shots?

[RainbowSky]

7 minutes ago, withaj said:

We already know there were paps at the wedding. Where do you think the Daily Mail got those shots?

Yup! Some photo credits are a guy from Splash News. A place which credits itself with well..being in celebrity faces for pictures a lot basically.

[Jinder Roles]

14 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Who uses the word 'evil' in anything wedding related?  Seriously, who does that?

I think it's one of J'Chelle's sayings or possibly alluding to a verse? She said the same thing about "not doing Derick evil" to Jill when she was trying on wedding dresses. It rubs me the wrong way too.

[Rachel333]

Proverbs 31:12 KJV

Quote

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

 

[HomeschooledHeartThrob]

21 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

I was the opposite as a kid, in elementary school when kids brought in cupcakes on their birthday I licked the frosting off.

SAME!!! We are the sane ones!!! 

[socalrules]

13 minutes ago, withaj said:

We already know there were paps at the wedding. Where do you think the Daily Mail got those shots?

Oh I think someone who was invited to the wedding likely sold them, which you can do. Every tabloid magazine and tabloid website has information as to how you can sell photos to them. They don't credit the person who sold them the pictures. I just don't believe that paparazzi traveled to Arkansas for Jinger's wedding photos that aren't going to sell for much when most people have never even heard of Jinger. Maybe because I live in Southern California but it's easy to find real celebrities to photograph for much more money and yet, many of them are walking around without anyone taking pics of them. I see them all the time so I am jaded by the idea of Jinger having such monetary value that  papparazies will waste money to travel for low value pictures. 

[SamiKatz]

Depending on your definition of "evil", there's a lot of latitude between good and evil. Pissy.  Grouchy.  Caustic.  Eye-Rolling.  Pitching a Fit.  The Silent Treatment.  Throwing Things.  Evil is pretty far down the spectrum, actually.

I'm not a "frosting" (which we call icing here in Canada) fan either.  My mother always made me birthday pies instead of birthday cake because I don't like icing.

[HomeschooledHeartThrob]

20 hours ago, Fun Undies said:

My mother's Roman Catholic, my dad southern Baptist.  I've been confirmed in a Methodist Church, and been to services of various non denomational ones, a seventh day adventist, and Lutheran.  I also attended a Presbyterian church for two years as a kid in Texas when my parents couldn't find a Catholic one they liked (went with my best friends family).  And I'm sure there's a few I'm forgetting.  

I think you're experience leans more to the Evangelical branch of Christianity, and at the end of the day, I think myself and others here just want to point out that doesn't represent all Christians.  We are such a varied religion at this point, that even attending a different church in the same denomination can have vastly different feels/beliefs to it.

Keep reading the Bible and if the words give you more comfort than anything else, like they do me, then yay!  If you study your faith more, and realize you don't get a inner peace from the religion, then don't let anybody make you feel bad for it.  

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to discuss the bible from a religious or secular level (i love studying it, but promise not to hit you upside the head with it)

 

^ don't have time to second read this, so pardon any errors or lack of clarity.  Toddlers are demanding sippy cups

Thank you, I do identify as "Protestant Christian" but I do hesitate to speak on it publicly. Here I notice many posts by athiests/catholic/"other than protestants" and I worded my post to give them a little insight as to why Jeremy's family is not "fundy" but does have similar themes.  I had a very nasty experience with the Evangelical church so you are right most of my experiences stem from there. I just don't see the "fundy" part of Jeremy's family. I DO see similar themes given his father is  a pastor and studies the same bible gothard misinterpreted. 

21 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

Thankfully that is not my experience.  Patriarchy is a specific view that basically ends up that women are less than men.  I've been to many churches where the word modesty was never even hinted at and people show up in beach wear and there are many churches who are not pro-life.  Now if we're going fundigelical, yes that applies to them.  Thankfully they are not the majority of Christians in the world just probably the loudest.

I agree with you in that I have not had quite as fundy riffic experiences at Christian churches but I have had them. More churches interpret the Bible to mean that "Men must love" their wives because men aren't emotional and women must submit meaning "respect" or don't call names/put down. It enforces gender sterotypes but hell anything is better than Gothard-Duggar interpretation. But to someone who is not involved in Christianity from the outside looking in it will to an extent look fundy. 

[withaj]

17 minutes ago, socalrules said:

Oh I think someone who was invited to the wedding likely sold them, which you can do. Every tabloid magazine and tabloid website has information as to how you can sell photos to them. They don't credit the person who sold them the pictures. I just don't believe that paparazzi traveled to Arkansas for Jinger's wedding photos that aren't going to sell for much when most people have never even heard of Jinger. Maybe because I live in Southern California but it's easy to find real celebrities to photograph for much more money and yet, many of them are walking around without anyone taking pics of them. I see them all the time so I am jaded by the idea of Jinger having such monetary value that  papparazies will waste money to travel for low value pictures. 

Yeah, no. As @RainbowSky said above, the photo credits are to a specific photographer for Splash News. That same photographer is credited with numerous other pap shots in the LA area and elsewhere. So, at very least, one paparazzo did travel to Arkansas for Jinger's wedding.

[trustworthy]

6 hours ago, WhoompThereItIs said:

The moderator of the facebook group, Duggar Family News: Life is not all pickles and hairspray

https://www.facebook.com/Pickles4Truth/?hc_ref=SEARCH&fref=nf

I checked it out and now am seriously addicted to the page.

[Fun Undies]

Sorry if repeat . . . But uh, is this Carlin?  Is she wearing a navy colored version of the bridesmaid dress??

 

[withaj]

1 minute ago, Fun Undies said:

Sorry if repeat . . . But uh, is this Carlin?  Is she wearing a navy colored version of the bridesmaid dress??

 

Nope. The whole dress is lace, not just the bodice, plus it's shorter and the neckline is different.

[HarleyQuinn]

Okay, that photo of Carlin and Joy looks really strange, like someone tried to edit it or something? 

[calimojo]

Just a few quick thoughts:

• Jinger looks genuinely happy.  I am not a big fan of Jeremy, but I have always felt that of all the couples we have seen so far, they have a very comfortable physical chemistry.  They seem physically affectionate with one another and pushed the normal courtship rules to the boundary. 
• I think her wedding was very well done.  Very pretty and her dress was really beautiful on her. 
• I like that she had cake, food etc.  True it wasn't a full meal, but it appears to have been an early afternoon wedding and so light appetizers are perfectly appropriate for that time of day.  Daytime weddings are cool.  Most people opt for evening weddings these days, but there is something very fresh and optimistic about a short and sweet day time wedding.  As a wedding guest, I appreciate not having my entire day/evening taken up with wedding festivities.  I can catch the ceremony and then have light snack and then go about the rest of my day or evening.
• The difference, in my mind between Jessa and Jinger's weddings, is that Jessa seemed to plan a wedding that She wanted.  All the attention was paid to what she was interested in.  SO  she got the gorgeous Dress and she got her ice cream sundaes.  But she paid little to no attention to any other aspect of the wedding.  The Bridesmaid dresses were awful, but she didn't really care much, because it wasn't about her.  The November weather was not  appropriate for an outdoor reception with ice cream, but She didn't care because it was about what she wanted only.  On the other hand, Jinger seemed to plan a wedding that was about not only her, but also her wedding party and her guests.  She chose lovely bridesmaid dresses, that generally looked good on all of them.  She had an indoor reception, knowing that November is hard to predict and being outside in the cold is not fun for her guests.  And, she made an effort to include some  of Jeremy's heritage, by having the meatballs at the reception, and she cared enough about her guests, who trekked from God knows where, to at least feed them some appetizers in reward for their efforts.  
• Some have commented that Jessa wanting to focus just on herself for once was understandable after years of being a J-slave.  I get that, I really do, but she could have had it both ways, as I think Jinger did.  Jinger was most definitely the "star' of her wedding.  She looked beautiful and radiant and being surrounded by lovely  bridesmaids just made her shine even more. 
• I think most likely the obvious reason that Jinger's wedding seems to be the nicest of them all so far, is that Jinger had an actual event planner helping her as opposed to a Sierra.  It takes skill and experience to help a young bride navigate through the wedding planning.  SOmeone with experience and wisdom would have been able to guide Jessa away from the parking lot ice cream sundaes.  Yes, Jessa is headstrong, but with guidance she would probably have been convinced to provide some professional party tents or at least large heat radiators for her guest's comfort.  And, though she wanted to feature Ice Cream Sundaes,  She could have been convinced to at least consider a few different options for her guests. 
• By Comparison,  To me,  It has always looks as if Jessa was given a certain amount of $$ to spend, and put most of it on her dress, which was really beautiful, but then that meant the rest of it looked cheap and tacky. Whereas it looks as if Jinger either had more $$ To spend, or she was able to successfully manage her budget to be end up with a more cohesive wedding.  Jessa's wedding wow factor was just her dress.  It was the only successful thing about the event of the wedding, But Jinger's looks like a well thought out, full experience and event. 
• Anna's wedding was also better orchestrated than either Jill's or Jessa's.  She at least fed her guests and her gown and her bridesmaid gowns were consistent in the level of formality and style to one another, compared to Jessa's who had this gorgeous dress, combined with dime-store dresses.  

[BabyBottlePop]

So I get that the Duggars invite a thousand or so people to these weddings, but I just don't get why. And before someone comes in and says, "Well, when you have 50 fundie families..." No, I get that lots of kids = lots of people coming if you invite their whole family.

What is curious to me is why people like Priscilla and David Waller are at Jinger's wedding. I know she's Anna's sister. The only reason that makes sense to me is David's involvement in IFBP. 

I tried to think of it this way: if my brother got married, my family wouldn't invite my other brother's girlfriends' siblings. 

I wonder if because these fundies keep their friend groups fairly small (gotta keep out that evil!) that some of the only people you really know is extended family of others that have been let into your fold. 

Many way, if anyone doesn't get what I'm trying to say, I'll be happy to clarify. I don't think I'm conveying myself well.

[just...sare]

4 minutes ago, BabyBottlePop said:

So I get that the Duggars invite a thousand or so people to these weddings, but I just don't get why. And before someone comes in and says, "Well, when you have 50 fundie families..." No, I get that lots of kids = lots of people coming if you invite their whole family.

What is curious to me is why people like Priscilla and David Waller are at Jinger's wedding. I know she's Anna's sister. The only reason that makes sense to me is David's involvement in IFBP. 

I tried to think of it this way: if my brother got married, my family wouldn't invite my other brother's girlfriends' siblings. 

I wonder if because these fundies keep their friend groups fairly small (gotta keep out that evil!) that some of the only people you really know is extended family of others that have been let into your fold. 

Many way, if anyone doesn't get what I'm trying to say, I'll be happy to clarify. I don't think I'm conveying myself well.

I definitely get what you're saying. I'm trying to relate it to my own wedding experience, though, and realise that without those kinds of relations, I'd have had about half as many people! My best friend (and maid of honour)'s entire family was there, minus her brother who was in Afghanistan at the time - but her parents, her sister in law, and her nephew. My other best friend/maid of honour's father. One of the groomsmen's mother. My flower girl's whole family (parents, brothers, grandparents on one side). I guess it just worked out that way for us, because of the way our friend group has always included the parents? My brother's friends came. My sister's friends. A couple of my parents' friends. And an old friend of my grandmother's! And all told we had 60 people. Hahaha.

[Destiny]

16 hours ago, nst said:

what s with the down arrow ? 

is someone in love with Jeremy  

People can downvote for any reason they want. Please don't bring it up or make it an issue in threads. 

[actuallyjessica]

Yeah, no. As @RainbowSky said above, the photo credits are to a specific photographer for Splash News. That same photographer is credited with numerous other pap shots in the LA area and elsewhere. So, at very least, one paparazzo did travel to Arkansas for Jinger's wedding.

Yep. Even without checking the photo credit you can tell the images came from a professional camera set up (DSLR & telephoto lens) which I doubt the average wedding guest was walking around with especially given that the event was being filmed for television. Oh, and I doubt these fundies have thousands to spend on a good camera rig.

[ClaraOswin]

25 minutes ago, BabyBottlePop said:

So I get that the Duggars invite a thousand or so people to these weddings, but I just don't get why. And before someone comes in and says, "Well, when you have 50 fundie families..." No, I get that lots of kids = lots of people coming if you invite their whole family.

What is curious to me is why people like Priscilla and David Waller are at Jinger's wedding. I know she's Anna's sister. The only reason that makes sense to me is David's involvement in IFBP. 

I tried to think of it this way: if my brother got married, my family wouldn't invite my other brother's girlfriends' siblings. 

I wonder if because these fundies keep their friend groups fairly small (gotta keep out that evil!) that some of the only people you really know is extended family of others that have been let into your fold. 

Many way, if anyone doesn't get what I'm trying to say, I'll be happy to clarify. I don't think I'm conveying myself well.

I get what you're saying. My SIL (my brother's wife) was obviously invited to my wedding. But her siblings? No, they were most definitely NOT invited. That would have been so bizarre. But it's not like we're close to them. We live in different states and only see each other on an occasional like my nieces/nephews birthdays or baptisms. 

I think these fundie families are often really close because they just have their little weirdo circles. So cult-like.

[HomeschooledHeartThrob]

50 minutes ago, Fun Undies said:

Sorry if repeat . . . But uh, is this Carlin?  Is she wearing a navy colored version of the bridesmaid dress??

 

Is that...JOY beside her? If so she looks older and better looking in this image. 

[ClaraOswin]

Yes, that is Joy. I think the dress ages her a bit. It isn't the type of dress one would normally see on a 19 year old.

[HomeschooledHeartThrob]

21 hours ago, amandaaries said:

While they do have potential for growth, that potential is severely hindered by the total mind control of their youthful years.  You can't forget that these kids and kidults were raised in a manner that strongly discouraged any independent thought or curiosity.  They were warned that the outside world was dangerous throughout ALL of their formative years.  Also, Arkansas is considerably different than Sweden, in numerous ways -- the acceptance of alcohol; the levels of education; the "sinfulness" of divorce/remarriage/out-of-wedlock children; the idea of "modesty" in a red state... Not only are we considering two incredibly different cultures, but to consider that they could easily break away also negates the hard-core training they endured as children.  It's not just their marriages and children that will trap them, but their own minds.  They don't even have secular therapy available to them -- it would be church counsel or nothing.

Anna is a good example of this, I think.  She has more reason than anyone else to leave, but she hasn't and I doubt she will.  She has a passel of children, very limited education, and a commitment to God and Joshua (to loosely quote her TH from whatever episode)...and she has her bills and housing paid for.  To leave, in these United States, would be an incredible logistical challenge, since her parents don't have enough money to support her and jobs that pay well typically go to those with education and experience, both of which she lacks.  She would be amply qualified to work in child care -- but she'd probably get minimum wage, and good luck surviving on that pittance.

Anna's family HAS had a few break-aways, though.  Her brother left, though he remains a conservative Christian.  Her youngest sister also left, under what was seen as more scandalous circumstances.  From what I can tell (limited, obviously, as this is a reality show), the younger Duggars have not had the kind of hard-hearted blanket training and soul-crushing upbringing.  I could see them forgiving anything Josie did, as the youngest of the brood and the one who survived a very short gestation period, followed by months in the NICU.  I have a little more hope for some of the younger ones, but even that is limited.  JB has hindered their intellectual development, education, and therefore work prospects.  He has created a brood of dependents -- good for his ego; terrible for his children.  

So beyond the typical problems of a mid-life crisis (kids to support, a marriage to stay faithful to, bills needing to be paid), I think they would also have to overcome severe brainwashing and actually create their own financial independence, both of which are significant hurdles.  Also, there are a lot of very significant cultural differences between those who grew up in conservative Arkansas v. those who were raised in fairly liberal Sweden.

 

ETA: I was trying to remember this quote and please forgive the Wiki citation, but remember the old Catholic saying, "Give me a child until he is 7 and I'll give you the man"?  Those early years of intellectual formation count for a LOT, and the Duggarlings will have a significant amount of training to overcome to ever hope for normal lives.

Wiki citation: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ignatius_of_Loyola

Excellent post, very thought out. We also need to realize that the money and fame element is mixed in as well. Imagine going from dowdy Goodwill out of style dresses to the latest fashion (even if still thrifted) and from being a nobody to everyone knowing you. Pride is a big one for this cult, Anna doesn't want to admit she failed...to leave would mean all that stuff about "God changing Josh's heart" would be proven wrong and in her washed mind that might be  a ticket to hell. They're also taught children without a father are damaged. That could scare her, and they're also taught nobody wants a "used" woman (one who's had SEEEEXXX) so she could feel that she has no choice but to stay.