Lori Alexander never learning since 2011 - part 6

[docmom]

14 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

Her thinking is so unbelievably simplistic.  I would say childlike, but honestly, I have never met a child who wasn't capable of complex thought.  

This is my biggest issue with fundies in general: the belief that we can all be lumped into large, general categories and that once in those categories will ALWAYS behave the same as everyone else in the group.  So Lori believes all women are spineless, emotionally driven jellyfish; that all children who were never "spanked" are out of control; that all men have the sexual drive of a bonobo and zero self control; and all working mothers drive through McDonald's every night.

Does she not believe that God made everyone unique?  Or is her god not able to do anything but turn out cookie-cutter versions of his original template?

BTW Lori, dinner last night at my house was home made (by me, evil working mother that I am) Moroccan chicken with couscous and a LARGE SALAD.  And it was good. 

[usmcmom]

1 hour ago, feministxtian said:

I really hate reading the blogs like Lori's that make marriage seem like unending years of misery for the wife. I mean, my marriage is NOT perfect by any means, and we've had some times where leaving was definitely a possibility...but we chose to stick it out. HOWEVER...even then, I was not willing to try to work things out to leave a life of misery. If things hadn't gotten better, I'd have been gone. But...Lori and Ken (and other fundies) will never know what intimacy in marriage really means. We've been through the wringer in the last 19 years, and that's one of the reasons that we've chosen to stay together. 

He rushed home from work when I called him and told him my dad died.

He bought me my Mustang for my birthday

He makes me coffee EVERY morning

He's making me pancakes right now! 

Yeah....think I'll keep him!

I'm very sorry for the loss of your dad.

My husband came home from work early to tell me my dad had died.  My brother called him first so he could do just that. My husband sat on the kitchen floor with me as I cried, leaning against the cabinets on the dirty floor I'd just started sweeping.  It was a horrible moment, yet a beautiful one, in that journey.  THAT is intimacy. 

I know Lori has had severe health issues and I feel for her in that. I tend to think Ken was never any comfort to her at all.  Beyond her health issues, I wonder if they've faced tragedy together.  Death of a parent?  A miscarriage?  I believe that because Ken is not the kind to hold a crying/grieving wife* (after all, emotions are evil) then Lori believes that to do so is wrong.  A true Christian would take her grief to God and never expect her spouse to comfort her.  In fact, this is exactly the thinking of my sister and I know it's because she knows she will never receive emotional comfort from her husband. 

*Of course, Lori has proudly admitted that she is rather cold-hearted so she probably has never felt grief or loss like most of us have. 

[feministxtian]

3 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Beyond her health issues, I wonder if they've faced tragedy together.  Death of a parent?  A miscarriage? 

Hubs and I have faced a BUNCH of things. My dad died while we were still dating. 14 years later, my mom died. And a whole lot more besides. 

I don't think Kenori could survive what we have. 

[usmcmom]

59 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Hubs and I have faced a BUNCH of things. My dad died while we were still dating. 14 years later, my mom died. And a whole lot more besides. 

I don't think Kenori could survive what we have. 

Considering that Ken could not even give up basketball to spend time with his children and sick wife; and considering that he practically sainted himself for making her some soup the last time she was hospitalized (and then just left it in the fridge for her); I think you are right.  It's clear Ken is not a nurturing man.  Lori is not a nurturing woman either (see also...let the newborns cry it out...) so I wonder what their poor kids had to endure when they were ill. 

[louisa05]

1 hour ago, feministxtian said:

Hubs and I have faced a BUNCH of things. My dad died while we were still dating. 14 years later, my mom died. And a whole lot more besides. 

I don't think Kenori could survive what we have. 

My husband's employer burned down the business two months after we got engaged. He ended up working at a pet food plant making $11 an hour. Plans for a house and a honeymoon? Gone. 

I lost my job before our first anniversary. I lost the part time job I got after that basically one year later. My grandmother died the same week. 

My aunt got killed in a head on car crash before our third anniversary.  We found out a month after that that I definitely have the same condition that has caused my mother's vision loss. His uncle, who was the closest thing to a grandfather on his dad's side, died that summer. Later that year, my dad was diagnosed with stage iv cancer. I spent the next three years trying to keep my parents afloat when neither could drive anymore. From 65 miles away. Still no full time job. 

My dad died in September, a couple of months after our sixth anniversary. 

Husband does have a good job now, though. But still no house and we've never had a vacation longer than four days. 

I've been told by people who know us well that they admire that we have made it with a strong marriage in the midst of all of that. Some days, I am, too. A quarter of that should be enough to strain a relationship beyond repair. 

[lilwriter85]

7 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Considering that Ken could not even give up basketball to spend time with his children and sick wife; and considering that he practically sainted himself for making her some soup the last time she was hospitalized (and then just left it in the fridge for her); I think you are right.  It's clear Ken is not a nurturing man.  Lori is not a nurturing woman either (see also...let the newborns cry it out...) so I wonder what their poor kids had to endure when they were ill. 

I agree they aren't nurturing people and they deserve each other.  I do feel sorry for their kids.

[Koala]

Quote

One young woman I mentor worked with a woman who was married and pregnant. She decided after several months that it wasn’t time to have a baby yet. She wanted to wait six more months to have a baby so because of our “rights in the constitution” she went and had her baby murdered in her womb. We were all praying she would have a change of heart, but she didn’t and our country allows this and even supports it.

Would anyone be offended if I called bullshit on this?  Anyone?  

Married woman who waits "several months" into a pregnancy to decide that she needs an additional 6 months baby free, so she has a late term abortion? I.don't.think.so.   I mean let's get fucking real.  Possible?  Yes.  Probable? Absolutely not.  And it's gossip.  Third hand gossip.  We heard if from Lori, who heard it from a woman she mentors, who knew a woman at work.    The definition of "going from house to house carrying tales", which I am pretty sure Jesus frowns on. 

And have I mentioned it's probably bullshit?  Yeah.  Bullshit gossip.

[molecule]

Yup, what a load of BS.

Women have a right to privacy, and the woman who had been pregnant (if there is a kernel of truth to this) and no longer was might have had a miscarriage, perhaps it turns out she hadn't been pregnant after all, she had an abortion for a serious health reason, or whatever--but she could have chosen to say what is described here simply to shut people up so she didn't have to talk about it. 

Why is Lori trusting the word of a woman who worked outside the home anyway? Shouldn't she know better?

[Koala]

Because she's a busybody and a gossip, and it goes with her story line of the scads of feminist out there terminating late term pregnancies because why the hell not.

[Sera's Arrow]

I think this is nothing but a story and I don't think it even came from gossip. I think it came strictly from Lori's sewer of a brain. What better way to pull a double jab at the evil gubmit and evil pro-choice feminists than make up a story that deals with late term abortion and ends with praying which makes her (Lori) look like a good, pious woman who tried so hard to prevent it from occurring. . .all for naught, of course, because of the dark-hearted villains.

I have a lot of doubt where Lori's gossipy stories are concerned though and anything that starts with a 'someone I know knows this person and this person did X, Y and Z' is a possible story. The less details a story has - like 'several months' is pretty vague (to me, anyway) - the possibility that it's a pure bullshit story increases.  

[molecule]

I wonder if Lori is jealous that she doesn't have her own subforum here like the Bateses and Maxells do.

[lilwriter85]

1 hour ago, molecule said:

I wonder if Lori is jealous that she doesn't have her own subforum here like the Bateses and Maxells do.

She'll need a reality show for that or maybe a speaking career. I wonder if she was pissed that she wasn't in that Submissive Wives documentary that TLC had last year. IIRC, the women on that were in their 40s and Lori had to be envious that the younger women were included. Even though I have a love/hate relationship with reality TV and I'm aware about the staging and editing that goes on, I would love to see a Lori/Ken show. I don't think either one could be edited into appearing as very nice. I think Ken and Lori in irl are pleasant in casual conversations that don't  involve certain subjects. But, get Lori talking on camera about working women, she will still manage to say something shitty and not care if it ended up on TV. 

[Tesseract]

I, too, call BS on this, and most of what she says. No doubt, the medical issues exist. I absolutely do believe her when she talks about how miserable and nasty she and Ken have been to each other, each in their own way. I also believe her when she talks about the hours of time they put into strapping each kid into submission. I believe her about having a nanny and the 2 hours daily that the kids were put in their rooms, so L could have a nap or "me time". I also believe that she and Ken rack up a heck of a number of hours gleefully steering conversations to the topics of submission and spanking. Using the Ken Alexander School of Statistical Analysis (tm) method, we arrive at 93%. 

 

[Curious]

On 3/6/2016 at 10:25 AM, docmom said:

It's the 11th commandment:  Thou shalt not lie still during intercourse.

Also in Leviticus:  It is an abomination before the LORD to lieth still during intercourse.

Seriously, look it up.

I'm so far behind on my "recreational" FJ reading.

I find it hard to believe that someone who thinks all you need is 10 minutes and some lube is exactly rollicking fun in the sack.

[usedtobenice]

It's Ken numbers, so the 10 minutes is likely very, very exaggerated.

[Gemini]

There has been some beautiful stuff on this thread that have pretty much summed up my relationship goals, strangely none of them appear to have come from Lori... 

[IrishCarrie]

3 minutes ago, Gemini said:

There has been some beautiful stuff on this thread that have pretty much summed up my relationship goals, strangely none of them appear to have come from Lori... 

Lol, I couldn't agree more! And a classic case of some good coming out of pure evil 

[Curious]

On 3/22/2016 at 4:19 PM, Koala said:

The greatest help in times of need, such as this family is in, should be the extended family, if at all possible.

Not everyone has a bunch of extended family that can take on the support of another person or family.   My mom was an only child, I am an only child.  My parents are both passed on.   That means I have no extended family.  

[molecule]

Today's post is another joy ride and includes this lovely passage in the first paragraph:

Quote

I have personally exhorted three women personally to be modest and none of them responded kindly to me. 

Gee, they didn't like you telling them how bad they were? Go figure. 

And then she says this a bit later:

Quote

{I can tell you that it is not easy at all to rebuke a sister in Christ who is in sin. It takes a lot of prayer to make sure it is coming from a heart of wanting to help and not simply to criticize. Like Michael Pearl said, if you are rebuking someone more than once every two months, you are probably rebuking too much!}

Do Lori's rebukes come from a heart of wanting to help? Hmm. I doubt it. And I'm pretty sure she is rebuking more than once every two months. It's more than once every week, for pete's sake.

[Koala]

Lori is ranting about modesty again today.  Wonder what Ken's been up too...

Seriously though, I always wonder if posts like today's are aimed at her oldest daughter, and if said daughter's Instagram doesn't trigger them.  I know Ken has labeled her dress as "Christian Risque", but Lori has never outright addressed it that I recall, even going so far as to say the following:

Lori, referring to her daughters:

Quote

 They didn't need to dress sexy in order to draw guys to get their attention.

From the post:

Quote

One woman who I confronted about her immodesty wore little bikinis at the beach and provocative dresses to church told me that it was the men's problem, not hers. She is not a wise woman.

She goes on to say:

Quote

dwell on the lovely and the good in others. Don't allow critical thoughts of others to control you

To which I say 

And finally:

Quote

If you have girlfriends who dress immodestly, don't bring them home with you. Meet them somewhere for lunch, instead. 

Translation:

Quote

Be a good Christian and keep all the whores out of church!

[lilwriter85]

I hope Lori's fangirls find out about Alyssa's instagram. Then again, Lori's fangirls ignore certain things about "Godley Mentor" Lori. Even though Lori admitted to having a nanny/housekeeper, the fangirls still cheer on Lori's SAHM posts and anti-working mom posts.

[Koala]

It makes be a bitch, but I would have paid to hear the responses she received from those women.  I wouldn't be surprised if a few of them told her to sweep around her own back door before she came nosing around their's.

[usmcmom]

I actually just called my husband at work and asked him if he knew of any scripture that says 1) a man is a visual creature, sexually speaking and 2) a woman should dress modestly specifically to protect the men in her lives.  I know there is a verse admonishing us to "not cause others to stumble:"

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God - even as I try to please everyone in every way.  For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved." 1 Corinthians 10: 31-33.

In fact, a large part of that passage is talking about food (spiritual and physical). Verse seven reminds us not to be idolators. Verse eight reminds us not to commit sexual sin. The passage, in whole, refers very little to sexual situations when speaking of causing another to stumble. 

I've been caught up in this kind of discussion before (on Facebook) and my response is this: "My daughter is not responsible for your son's purity; just as your daughter is not responsible for my son's purity. God expects us to have self control - so much so that we are admonished to strive for it in the Fruit of the Spirit.  If my husband, son or son-in-law looks lustfully upon a woman other than his wife, that sin is upon him and I expect each of them to act like the mature, SELF-CONTROLLED Christian that he is and manage his own thoughts.  Finally, when are Christian men going to get tired of us reducing them to the level of the beasts of the field?  When are they going to speak up and say 'We are more than this savage, one directional creature you portray us to be.'? I will not insult my husband, son and son-in-law by assuming they are jus that low and animal-like.  I taught my son to, no matter how a girl was dressed, look into her eyes - look at her face - and remember she is somebody's daughter, somebody's sister and, most of all, a child of God who deserved respect regardless of her attire." 

Finally, I don't expect Lori to have the empathy or compassion to realize this, but a lot of young girls simply are not taught modesty. They don't know when something is risqué (Christian or not). These girls deserve a little patience and GENTLE guidance. Those girls who were raised to dress modestly and still dress and pose provocatively (cough, cough - Lori's daughter - cough) - well they have no excuse and their mothers should be embarrassed.  Of course, we also must realize that modesty means different things to different people. For instance, Lori probably thought that one dress for her child's wedding was modest when most of us thought it was quite inappropriate. 

[lilwriter85]

11 minutes ago, Koala said:

It makes be a bitch, but I would have paid to hear the responses she received from those women.  I wouldn't be surprised if a few of them told her to sweep around her own back door before she came nosing around their's.

I would too. A part of me wonders if "Godly Modest" Lori now wishes that she was more strict with her daughters' clothing choices when they were growing up.

[iheartchacos]

She's going around fb.