Lori Alexander never learning since 2011 - part 6

[Koala]

Lori is in no way qualified to determine whether a situation is abusive/dangerous or not.  

I can't even fathom a normal situation where the following wasn't an indicator that something was *very* wrong:

buy all their wives clothes and underwear

film their every move at home 

track their phone calls and computer use 

check the mileage on the car to make sure she hasn't gone further than told

Lori is an older woman with nothing but time on her hands.  She has admitted she has control issues, but the people she used to control are either gone (her kids) or hinting around about taking the $$$ and running (Ken).  This blog and the title of Godly Mentor have given her a perfect vehicle for exerting control over others (the women who read her blog).  The problem is that she is in no way qualified to be dealing with abuse victims.  She actually seems to thrive on encouraging women to stay in bad situations.  It's sick, and it makes her very dangerous.

 

 

[salex]

She's using that poor sad country singer as click bait today.  I am going to say what I've said before.  If that women had gone to a regular doctor before getting pregnant, she might have found her cancer sooner.  (No, not victim blaming here, because she might not have, either--but bragging about not seeing a doctor before or during the pregnancy wears on me, not because they had the child with downs syndrome--many people who go to doctors have that outcome--but because her death of a disease that is commonly screened for with pap smears.)

I will say that Joey Feeks husband also gets on my last nerve. His blog about her dying seemed hugely inappropriate/over sharing and all about him and very marketing based (and I'm in marketing).  One post about how love makes people's hair fall out and her sisters, mom and dad apparently shaved their heads to look like her... He didn't, which I thought was telling... he never touched his brand of  his head full of hair and  wearing those damn overalls to the funeral.  (I have known a lot of people who wear overalls daily, but who wear a suit to church--but they are branding for their next album) 

 

Then, Lori tells us

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 If you have suffered grief or are in a painful trial, use this time to allow the Lord to take those hard edges off of you and use you for His glory like He used Joey. Suffering isn't evil as many assume. No, suffering is for our good. 

To which I say, fuck you Lori. The small amount of suffering I've had in my life was not for my good, nor for anyone else's.  Joey Feek's suffering didn't help her or anyone else, including you, Lori.  

 

[desertvixen]

@salex, thank you!  I thought I was the only one getting super fed-up with that story (and yes, noticing that the husband didn't do anything to his hair - if I lose all my hair, the last thing I want is my family posting it on the web).

Also, much love to the commenter who bashed on Angel in the House!

[Loveday]

47 minutes ago, desertvixen said:

@salex, thank you!  I thought I was the only one getting super fed-up with that story (and yes, noticing that the husband didn't do anything to his hair - if I lose all my hair, the last thing I want is my family posting it on the web).

Also, much love to the commenter who bashed on Angel in the House!

I thought I was, too! It went on every single day, over and over, on my Facebook feed, thanks to family members who live near Nashville and are big country music fans and constantly reposted his blogs and news articles about her. I couldn't say a word, because the woman was dying and I really didn't want to sound like a horrible person. But my problem wasn't with her, it was with her husband posting every last, minute, personal detail of her suffering. And even after her passing, he hasn't let up. I mean, I'm very sorry it happened, and I feel bad for their daughter, but he needs to shut down his computer and go private for awhile, it's just too much (yes, I realize everyone grieves differently, and this may be his way of coping with his loss, so I feel bad even saying this much ).

And I just went to Facebook, only to find yet ANOTHER Rory story. 

[lilwriter85]

I was another person fed up with Rory Feek and the social media activities during Joey's illness and death. I have several friends who also posted story links about them on FB. The blog was a total overshare especially during the time that Joey wasn't lucid.

I agree with salex, Lori used the Joey and Rory story as a click bait. I doubt she was even a fan of them before Joey had cancer. Lori has done similar things in the past when singers, athletes, and actors/actresses talk about religion or tragedy. There is nothing wrong with being inspired by certain stories or well known figures,  Lori though uses the stories as a way to make herself look like a empathetic person, when she really isn't. If Joey had never gotten cancer and continued her music career with Rory while trying to raise a daughter, Lori would have bashed her.

[violynn]

The further along into the blog Rory Feek writes, the less I like him.  Like y'all, the daily, sometimes multiple times daily, blogs about Joey's illness and death drove me crazy.  It was sad, and to some extent newsworthy in some instances, since they did/do have a fan base, but posting constantly about how "this is her last few days", "she'll never live to see the baby's first Christmas, Easter, birthday, then the second birthday, second holiday" posts were just awful and obviously there to play on readers emotions and for support for Rory.  Sure, he needs emotional support while his wife is battling a deadly disease too, but it just felt really manipulative and click-bait-ish the last few months there.

[feministxtian]

I have a hard time with the whole Joey/Rory Feek thing...I keep thinking that if she'd gone to a doctor, she'd been treated and still be here.I mean, I feel for the little girl who will grow up without her mother...but...ya know? 

And...Lori Alexander is a very ugly person...her husband isn't much better. She lives in a fantasy world and claims that she speaks for God...she's delusional too. I don't know if she's mentally ill or it's the brain tumors but she needs to get a grip on herself. Ken needs to take away her keyboard. 

[lynn0810]

34 minutes ago, violynn said:

The further along into the blog Rory Feek writes, the less I like him.  Like y'all, the daily, sometimes multiple times daily, blogs about Joey's illness and death drove me crazy.  It was sad, and to some extent newsworthy in some instances, since they did/do have a fan base, but posting constantly about how "this is her last few days", "she'll never live to see the baby's first Christmas, Easter, birthday, then the second birthday, second holiday" posts were just awful and obviously there to play on readers emotions and for support for Rory.  Sure, he needs emotional support while his wife is battling a deadly disease too, but it just felt really manipulative and click-bait-ish the last few months there.

I totally agree with this. Some of my family on Facebook would post all his updates about her and I felt very uncomfortable with the details he would share. I am all about people sharing these experiences. There is definitely not enough talk about palliative care, but I did wonder if Joey was ok with the amount he was sharing and the click bait statements. 

I expected Lori to post about this since she is Lori and loves to gossip about people she does not know. I did kind of give her a pass though, because Rory did so many blogs and magazine statements about it. 

In regards to yesterday's post, it is typical. I will never understand fundies being ok with a spouse being so controlling. It is abuse. If God decided to give us (coming from a Christian perspective) free will, why on earth is it ok for a spouse to take it away? There is no scripture to justify this behavior or Lori's actions when she sees this happening. She will have to answer for all her "mentoring" one day and I will have to answer for laughing while she does. 

[Koala]

2 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

If Joey had never gotten cancer and continued her music career with Rory while trying to raise a daughter, Lori would have bashed her.

I believe she likes to refer to it as "blaspheming the word of Lori Alexander God".   

[lynn0810]

 Wasn't he married before Joey? I thought I read that he had other children. How is this inspirational in Lori's world? 

[Koala]

He was married and had two daughters before marrying Joey (a no no according to The Godly Mentor)

She worked after having Indy (an even bigger no no according to The Godly Mentor)

She sang songs in which she referred to certain women as "no good, white trash hoes"

But not to worry, because she also sang a song about children just needing "The Bible and a Belt" (which The Godly Mentor posted about), so Lori just slapped a big ol' Jesus band-aid on the works, and as mentioned above, is using them as click bait.  That and Lori has some weird thing where she loves to post about people with cancer.

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2015/11/children-need-bible-and-belt.html

[desertvixen]

The one picture I saw of her where she was bald just made me mad.  Personally, I'd come back and haunt whoever posted that after I was dead, because while I'm not a vain woman, I do love my hair.  I hope she was okay with all of it, but somehow I wouldn't be surprised to find out she wasn't consulted.

As for Lori's post, maybe that was what was wrong with us as kids - my parents had the belt part down (when we were really acting up, not an "on the regular" sort of thing) but not the King James.  The funny thing is, a few years ago my mother said something to me about wishing she had known a better way to deal with us... I have spanked my daughter on occasion (maybe 5 times in her whole life, usually when I was at the end of my parental rope) but it's not a viable form of discipline - but the whole fixation of implements is really disturbing.  The rest of it: blah blah, culture of death, feminism is to blame, kids these days, entitlement mentality.

Bottom line, my daughter is pretty well-behaved (most of the time - she is a kid) and disciplined without me beating her.  Because that's how we roll in this evil single working mom who wears pants and tells men what to do household of mine.

[season of life]

I was sad for the Feeks, but I did think the husband posted way too much. Maybe that was his way of coping. Maybe Joey would have done the same thing if the situations were reversed. I dunno.

[lilwriter85]

30 minutes ago, season of life said:

I was sad for the Feeks, but I did think the husband posted way too much. Maybe that was his way of coping. Maybe Joey would have done the same thing if the situations were reversed. I dunno.

Hard to tell on that. That said, I bet there would be some women to do similar things as Rory did. I could totally see a blogger like NieNie posting way too much about a dying loved one.  I'm surprised Lori has not become a NieNie fangirl. Lori would love NieNie, a Mormon stay at home mom survived a plane crash and deals with burn injuries. Also, add in that NieNie constantly praises her husband and certain gender roles.

Blogs and personal sites about people with terminal illnesses have been around for a long time. In the late 90s/early 2000s, there was a site called ALS Survival Guide that was run by a man in Ohio who was diagnosed and decided early on not to go on a ventilator.  He used the site to give people tips on dealing with deterioration of health and other topics related to ALS. He kept a journal on the site, which was tough to read because he touched on the topic of death. After he passed away, his wife and son and kept the site running for awhile to help others out and they never overshared.

 

3 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I have a hard time with the whole Joey/Rory Feek thing...I keep thinking that if she'd gone to a doctor, she'd been treated and still be here.I mean, I feel for the little girl who will grow up without her mother...but...ya know? 

And...Lori Alexander is a very ugly person...her husband isn't much better. She lives in a fantasy world and claims that she speaks for God...she's delusional too. I don't know if she's mentally ill or it's the brain tumors but she needs to get a grip on herself. Ken needs to take away her keyboard. 

I think it's combination of life long personality disorder and the brain tumors that make Lori delusional as fuck. ETA: Ken encouraged her at one point to write a book and then a blog. I wonder if he will ever get tired of white knighting Lori all the time. Also, I wonder if has ever been pissed at the times Lori has thrown him under the bus.

[Granwych]

17 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I have a hard time with the whole Joey/Rory Feek thing...I keep thinking that if she'd gone to a doctor, she'd been treated and still be here.I mean, I feel for the little girl who will grow up without her mother...but...ya know? 

And...Lori Alexander is a very ugly person...her husband isn't much better. She lives in a fantasy world and claims that she speaks for God...she's delusional too. I don't know if she's mentally ill or it's the brain tumors but she needs to get a grip on herself. Ken needs to take away her keyboard. 

Hell, Ken needs to keep away from the keyboard too.  At least Lori can claim the brain tumor for the garbage she spews.

[molecule]

Today Lori has another one of her theology posts that makes absolutely no sense and has no comments. How long until we see a "Great post babes!" comment from Ken?

[polecat]

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Lori said: My mom taught us better than this. She taught us that we were always to leave something better after we've borrowed it or stayed somewhere. If we stayed in someone's home, she would make sure it was even cleaner than when we got there. When you are discreet, wise, and kind to other people, you will reap the benefits throughout your life.* We reap what we sow and we to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. 

 

I guess this doesn't apply to children. Lori was loaned four beautiful little babies, with 10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect toes and all the parts in between. And instead of cherishing them and preserving them in all their perfection, she beat them, punished them, isolated them, emotionally abused them, manipulated them and pushed them into borderline eating disorders. She definitely didn't leave those beautiful, perfect little babies better than she got them.

She didn't do unto them as she'd have had done to her, princess Lori whose father would sit for hours rubbing her nasty feet. She couldn't even bear to spend all day with her babies. 

 

[Koala]

More on discretion:

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Years ago, we let someone use our car for a couple of months since they needed one while they were in the area. When they brought it back to us, the front windshield had a crack all the way across it and there was absolutely no gas in it, plus they never offered to pay for it.

First paragraph in a post on discretion?  Gossiping about someone who borrowed the family car.

I'm like 99% sure the Bible has a step by step for handling differences, and telling the world via your blog isn't one of them.

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 I have never forgotten the way they left our car. 

Not to worry though, because:

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No, I don't hold it against them; I just remember how inconsiderate it was of them.

 Pretty sure the above is the definition of "holding it against them".

But wait....there's more:

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Once I had a neighbor who was continually asking me for things. Many times she didn't return them. She was not a considerate neighbor. 

Of course Luke 6:30 says:

Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again. 

On Christmas at the Alexanders:

Quote

 One Christmas Ken bought me something I didn't want and I let him know

Why does this not surprise me?

[molecule]

Two paragraphs of complaining about people who were insufficiently grateful to her before she even gets into the subject of discretion? Sheesh. 

You know, even aside from the content, her writing has gotten worse lately.

 

 

[molecule]

Lori posted her "Should Mothers Have Careers?" flow chart on her facebook page, and a comment was just posted that graciously reminds Lori that we should not be shaming women who work.

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Let's not judge. Life circumstances sometimes necessitate the wife/mother working outside the home. Suppose your husband was unable to work or could not find a job when you could? God created the woman to be a helpmate. Psalm 31 also says that the woman considers a field and buys it. And in the N'T, remember that Lydia was a seller of purple. It does not say if she had a husband or children. I agree it is desirable that mothers be at home to raise the children if that is possible, but should we shame those who work outside the home. Just because a woman works outside the home does not make her less honorable than those who are home.

I figure it will either be deleted or that Lori will say something about how it isn't shaming to say what she is commanded by the God of the Universe to say.

[Loveday]

33 minutes ago, molecule said:

Lori posted her "Should Mothers Have Careers?" flow chart on her facebook page, and a comment was just posted that graciously reminds Lori that we should not be shaming women who work.

I figure it will either be deleted or that Lori will say something about how it isn't shaming to say what she is commanded by the God of the Universe to say.

And it's gone. Whoosh. 

Oh, and of course she had to trot out the 'God commanded me' bit once again:

"God commands older women to teach younger women to be keepers at home for a reason, so I do this in obedience to Him and I know it is best for all involved, regardless of who it offends."

SHE knows. 

[Koala]

She's already deleted several comments from that post.  

Today's post is about the scads of women who (wishing they were men) entered the workforce:

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Women wanted to be the same as men so they left their homes and sought careers to find meaning since men find meaning in their careers. Therefore, as they were growing up, they were thinking about their career path instead of getting married. 

I know that's why my grandmother walked a couple of miles to work in high heels- she just wanted to be a man.  That or something about not letting my mother starve...I can't remember which.  

My great grandmother was the same way.  Worked picking cotton until her fingers bled...because ya know...she just wanted to be a man so gosh darn bad.  I'm sure it had nothing to do with 3 hungry children and helping keep a roof over her family.

Lori absolutely drips privilege.  In her mind a career is a choice.  For the women in my family, a "career" was the difference between "we don't have enough money for dinner" and "hey, we're having beans for dinner again".  I am actually the first stay at home mom in 4 generations.  It's a privilege- we have that option.  I realize how lucky I am, and I don't assume all women have that privilege.

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Studies had proven that women get careers that give them solid time off and they won't have to be on call. After a while, they get worn out from their career. Some get married while they have careers and get even more exhausted trying to run a career and a home. 

Again with the (uncited) studies.  Lori pays no mind to studies unless she thinks they are confirming what she already believes.

I am thinking women don't look for work with solid time off because they are "worn out from their career", they look for it because they don't want to get fired when their kids get sick and they need to take time off to care for them. Lori wouldn't know this, but getting fired can = lots of bad things. Miss the mortgage payment, not be able to buy groceries, have to decide whether to pay the electric or water bill...

As much as she'd like to believe that most women work for nice cars and fancy vacations, that's not the case.

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The question is would you rather have a fabulous career or fabulous marriage? 

The two are not mutually exclusive, but since Lori brought it up, she was a sahm and described her marriage to Ken as "lousy".

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 I told my girls to marry men who loved the Lord deeply and worked hard. Neither of them wanted a career and both of them only wanted to get married and have children.

Which is interesting, because the daughter who "traveled all over the world dancing for Jesus" seems pretty damn wrapped up in her dancing career.  And you know what?  That's okay.  I am sure it pays the bills, and it's her choice.

[molecule]

Quote

Be in the Word and find out for yourself what His Word is telling you and then obey it.

And if the Word tells us to express our God-given calling in a career, what then, Lori?

Quote

You will find abundant blessings in living your life for the Lord and not for man.

I couldn't help but laugh. I know what she means, but she's always telling us to live for our husbands--so isn't this living our lives for man? Poor choice of words today, Lori.

[salex]

5 hours ago, Koala said:

She's already deleted several comments from that post.  

Today's post is about the scads of women who (wishing they were men) entered the workforce:

I know that's why my grandmother walked a couple of miles to work in high heels- she just wanted to be a man.  That or something about not letting my mother starve...I can't remember which.  

My great grandmother was the same way.  Worked picking cotton until her fingers bled...because ya know...she just wanted to be a man so gosh darn bad.  I'm sure it had nothing to do with 3 hungry children and helping keep a roof over her family.

Lori absolutely drips privilege.  In her mind a career is a choice.  For the women in my family, a "career" was the difference between "we don't have enough money for dinner" and "hey, we're having beans for dinner again".  I am actually the first stay at home mom in 4 generations.  It's a privilege- we have that option.  I realize how lucky I am, and I don't assume all women have that privilege.

Again with the (uncited) studies.  Lori pays no mind to studies unless she thinks they are confirming what she already believes.

I am thinking women don't look for work with solid time off because they are "worn out from their career", they look for it because they don't want to get fired when their kids get sick and they need to take time off to care for them. Lori wouldn't know this, but getting fired can = lots of bad things. Miss the mortgage payment, not be able to buy groceries, have to decide whether to pay the electric or water bill...

As much as she'd like to believe that most women work for nice cars and fancy vacations, that's not the case.

The two are not mutually exclusive, but since Lori brought it up, she was a sahm and described her marriage to Ken as "lousy".

Which is interesting, because the daughter who "traveled all over the world dancing for Jesus" seems pretty damn wrapped up in her dancing career.  And you know what?  That's okay.  I am sure it pays the bills, and it's her choice.

Oddly enough I always wanted to work and be a woman.... never wanted to be a man, ever.

As it turns out, I'm the perfect helpmeet for my husband, though that is not a  term we use.  I majored in Business and Writing, and taught Business Communications at the college level.  I freelanced as a marketing writer (and magazine writer, software trainer, etc) and now work full time for the company.  Since we had no kids, the fact I can do the work our company needs (training, marketing, etc) allows me to travel with my husband for business and and fun for him and me.  We travel cheaper than if we had a nonspouse employee traveling with him (Shared rooms, split meals, I fly free when I fly with him plus, sex.... so that is a bonus.)

I'd say that I'm a better helpmeet for my husband's needs than Lori is for Ken..... though the term "Helpmeet" never comes up with us.I certainly add more to the bottom line than lori does....unless she secretly does their books, etc, which I doubt. (Would ken want her knowing what his company earned?  Would he want to travel with her?  I'm leaning toward "no"

But my husband loves having me along, listens to my ideas and respects my education.

[Koala]

Reader:

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I want my daughters to have some kind of professional training and job experience, although I've already told them I expect them to stay home with their children. 

 Umm, pretty sure that's not even Biblical.  What are her daughters supposed to tell their headships?  "Sorry dear, I can't work because my mom expects me to stay home with our children".  Yeah.

The same reader listed a couple of reasons that the ability to get a good job might be important for a woman:

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I didn't get married until I was 29, and had my first baby at 33. Up until I had a baby, I worked and helped pay off student loans, cars, etc . . to make it easier for me to stay home after kids. If my daughters don't end up being blessed with a husband, I don't want them working a minimum wage job. And if their husband gets very ill, I would like for them to have some education and job experience to help their families. My friend's husband has been diagnosed with a horrible neurological disease and cannot work, and she has to work now to support their family of 6

So:

-You might never marry
-Husband might get ill/die

Predictably, Lori plugs her ears:

Quote

 I never taught my daughters to have a career "just in case" because the Lord never tells us to do this. The Word commands the church, family and relatives to take care of widows and I would think the woman you are talking about. She shouldn't have to leave her children due to her husband's illness. If she didn't have a career, then they would have to figure out how to survive without her career. Can't we depend upon God's provision and the family of God when obeying what He has asked us to do? Also, one of your daughters may get married young, get pregnant on her honeymoon, and have no time for a career. This is great to me! God is our provider and we can trust Him!

Of course reality says that a large majority of churches don't/can't afford to support widows, but never mind, because Jesus.  

The reader replies:

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I like the thought of the church, family and relatives coming to the rescue, but supporting a family of 6 is expensive, including the large amount medical bills. I don't think these days where 70 percent of women work outside the home work, there would be the financial support for a woman staying home.

And Lori (privilege shining bright) says:

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The greatest help in times of need, such as this family is in, should be the extended family, if at all possible.

.

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I just can't believe God can't provide in a situation such as this, since He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and everything else. 

(maybe he could take those cattle he owns and feed some starving children, huh?)

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If something happened to Ken in the past 30 years, I couldn't have worked outside of the home due to my health but I know, without a doubt, the Lord would have taken care of me.

Translation:

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If something happened to Ken in the past 30 years, I couldn't have worked outside of the home due to my health but I know, without a doubt, MY DADDY would have taken care of me.