Jessa, Ben & Spurgeon - Those Smug Seewalds Part 2

[nst]

25 minutes ago, missegeno said:

I'm not sure either way, but Jessa's IG has a video of her holding Spud on Christmas.

but that is the only video - clearly they are being different from Jill and Derick 

just making a point - Ben is a child -- he is overwhelmed - and its obvious 

[missegeno]

I'm not sure either way, but Jessa's IG has a video of her holding Spud on Christmas.

but that is the only video - clearly they are being different from Jill and Derick 

just making a point - Ben is a child -- he is overwhelmed - and its obvious 

It is very different from Jill, but I didn't actually read that as signaling obvious overwhelm. I'm sure he's overwhelmed based on his THs and scenes pre-baby. But they haven't posted many Jessa selfies lately, so I figured the camera was being more used for photo shoots now, which might just be their style. Jill seems to portray a "look at me with my baby!" style, where Jessa might be taking a more "look what I made!" style. To me, it fits with her general desire to depart from Jill's path, as we saw with the weddings, pregnancy announcements, and bump photos. Spud looks healthy and well treated when he's photographed on his own. Sadly, we can't say the same for poor Izzy in those recent swaddle pics.

Before I say my next bit, I want to clarify for everyone that I am NOT trying to diagnose anyone with anything. But, I see a lot of signs of codependence in Jill that I don't see in Jessa. This may be part of why I feel like Jill's pics seems to primarily feature her in the role of mother, as opposed to Jessa's pics that allow to focus to center on the baby.

Of course, we only see what they show us. It's really interesting how interpretations can vary. :-)

[nst]

27 minutes ago, missegeno said:

 

It is very different from Jill, but I didn't actually read that as signaling obvious overwhelm. I'm sure he's overwhelmed based on his THs and scenes pre-baby. But they haven't posted many Jessa selfies lately, so I figured the camera was being more used for photo shoots now, which might just be their style. Jill seems to portray a "look at me with my baby!" style, where Jessa might be taking a more "look what I made!" style. To me, it fits with her general desire to depart from Jill's path, as we saw with the weddings, pregnancy announcements, and bump photos. Spud looks healthy and well treated when he's photographed on his own. Sadly, we can't say the same for poor Izzy in those recent swaddle pics.

Before I say my next bit, I want to clarify for everyone that I am NOT trying to diagnose anyone with anything. But, I see a lot of signs of codependence in Jill that I don't see in Jessa. This may be part of why I feel like Jill's pics seems to primarily feature her in the role of mother, as opposed to Jessa's pics that allow to focus to center on the baby.

Of course, we only see what they show us. It's really interesting how interpretations can vary. :-)

I agree with what you said about Jessa's looks what I made style opposed to Jill's look at me and baby style. 

Jessa has always been like that it seems - the look what I made/ got style 

Co-dependence with Jill - HA - yes 1000% 

it's all about appearances with these people - that is why Ben can't show himself with the baby because he has to appear like an edgy preacher opposed to a teenage father 

 

[karen77]

On 1/17/2016 at 6:27 PM, calimojo said:

Even if they are not extremely close, that doesn't mean that they would never talk or that they wouldn't want to encourage their kids to be friends.  We know that growing up, Jessa and Jinger were tight, and we know that Jill and Joy are close. But that still doesn't mean that they don't get along with their other sibs.  And,  living apart, may have helped Jill and Jessa get closer.  I have lots of friends who got much closer to their siblings once they were adults and living apart. 

It may have been a facetime event at the TTH, and they just got the babies both on there together then. So Jill skyped in and talked to the whole house, this was just a snippet, so not like she just skyped Jessa herself, you know? Just a theory.

[Valerie3kids]

1 hour ago, nst said:

I agree with what you said about Jessa's looks what I made style opposed to Jill's look at me and baby style. 

Jessa has always been like that it seems - the look what I made/ got style 

Co-dependence with Jill - HA - yes 1000% 

it's all about appearances with these people - that is why Ben can't show himself with the baby because he has to appear like an edgy preacher opposed to a teenage father 

 

Jill's co-dependence - I agree a million times over. She is so dependent on constant attention from Derrick and most likely others that she is very ill equipped to handle a toddler. I feel she is very immature and drank "the knight on a while horse" sage hook line and sinker. Unfortunately, she has ended up with Derrick who appears to be very out of touch with everything. He wants to be a vagabond wanderlust and get paid for it. I just saw no enthusiasm from him in the orphanage footage. It almost seemed 'beneath" him. We have seen his handling of Izzy and I really don't think he is much help to Jill. She is in over her head and doesn't even know it.

Ben- needs a big shot of reality not reality TV. He is a father. He now has a child and a wife who is most likely ill equipped to get a job. He has pretty lofty goals for someone who can't look you in the eye when he speaks. He got married to have sex and didn't stop to think that anything else was involved. He just wanted Jessa. Well Ben, now you have her what is next?

 

[SassyPants]

16 minutes ago, Valerie3kids said:

Jill's co-dependence - I agree a million times over. She is so dependent on constant attention from Derrick and most likely others that she is very ill equipped to handle a toddler. I feel she is very immature and drank "the knight on a while horse" sage hook line and sinker. Unfortunately, she has ended up with Derrick who appears to be very out of touch with everything. He wants to be a vagabond wanderlust and get paid for it. I just saw no enthusiasm from him in the orphanage footage. It almost seemed 'beneath" him. We have seen his handling of Izzy and I really don't think he is much help to Jill. She is in over her head and doesn't even know it.

Ben- needs a big shot of reality not reality TV. He is a father. He now has a child and a wife who is most likely ill equipped to get a job. He has pretty lofty goals for someone who can't look you in the eye when he speaks. He got married to have sex and didn't stop to think that anything else was involved. He just wanted Jessa. Well Ben, now you have her what is next?

 

I actually could see Jessa working in an office (Does Duggar Real estate still exist?). She seems competent, confident and organized. I could see Jessa as a working parent, with J-Slave help on the childrearing aspect. Could she get along with others in the work place? IMO, that would be her biggest hurdle.

Jill, OTHO, seems like a wheel stuck in the sand. Not only can I not see her working, I cannot see her being confident enough to take care of Izzy, alone, for hours on end, so no job for Derick, either. Jill is a mess.

Did Jill ever care for Izzy alone? Did Derick ever return to WM post Izzy's birth?

 

[nst]

2 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I actually could see Jessa working in an office (Does Duggar Real estate still exist?). She seems competent, confident and organized. I could see Jessa as a working parent, with J-Slave help on the childrearing aspect. Could she get along with others in the work place? IMO, that would be her biggest hurdle.

Jill, OTHO, seems like a wheel stuck in the sand. Not only can I not see her working, I cannot see her being confident enough to take care of Izzy, alone, for hours on end, so no job for Derick, either. Jill is a mess.

Did Jill ever care for Izzy alone? Did Derick ever return to WM post Izzy's birth?

 

i don't think he returned to walmart after the his birth? i could be wrong

Jessa i think just wanted out of the TTH and she got it - the fact that she enjoys spud is a whole new thing for her.

Ben - needs to grow up - it's like his facebook page is a mean girls site

 

[justoneoftwo]

9 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I actually could see Jessa working in an office (Does Duggar Real estate still exist?). She seems competent, confident and organized. I could see Jessa as a working parent, with J-Slave help on the childrearing aspect. Could she get along with others in the work place? IMO, that would be her biggest hurdle.

Jill, OTHO, seems like a wheel stuck in the sand. Not only can I not see her working, I cannot see her being confident enough to take care of Izzy, alone, for hours on end, so no job for Derick, either. Jill is a mess.

Did Jill ever care for Izzy alone? Did Derick ever return to WM post Izzy's birth?

 

Even had he returned to work she would not have been alone, there were j-slaves aplenty before they left.  

[nastyhobbitses]

1 hour ago, Valerie3kids said:

Jill's co-dependence - I agree a million times over. She is so dependent on constant attention from Derrick and most likely others that she is very ill equipped to handle a toddler. I feel she is very immature and drank "the knight on a while horse" sage hook line and sinker. Unfortunately, she has ended up with Derrick who appears to be very out of touch with everything. He wants to be a vagabond wanderlust and get paid for it. I just saw no enthusiasm from him in the orphanage footage. It almost seemed 'beneath" him. We have seen his handling of Izzy and I really don't think he is much help to Jill. She is in over her head and doesn't even know it.

Ben- needs a big shot of reality not reality TV. He is a father. He now has a child and a wife who is most likely ill equipped to get a job. He has pretty lofty goals for someone who can't look you in the eye when he speaks. He got married to have sex and didn't stop to think that anything else was involved. He just wanted Jessa. Well Ben, now you have her what is next?

 

Jill is very, very emotionally immature, and I think that she saw her siblings more like fun sentient dollies that she got to take care of like a big girl instead of, well, her siblings whom her MOTHER should be raising, and now that way of thinking is influencing how she raises Israel. Then throw in the fact that the only alone time she ever got as a child was in the bathroom, her relationships with men before Derick were (as we learned last year) pretty messed up, and she's been raised to see her self-worth refracted through men. Homegirl needs some major therapy, and she'll never get any, because in fundie culture, she's doing everything right.

[nst]

5 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Jill is very, very emotionally immature, and I think that she saw her siblings more like fun sentient dollies that she got to take care of like a big girl instead of, well, her siblings whom her MOTHER should be raising, and now that way of thinking is influencing how she raises Israel. Then throw in the fact that the only alone time she ever got as a child was in the bathroom, her relationships with men before Derick were (as we learned last year) pretty messed up, and she's been raised to see her self-worth refracted through men. Homegirl needs some major therapy, and she'll never get any, because in fundie culture, she's doing everything right.

what is sad and amusing at the sad time - how obvious it is - opposed to so far to Jessa.  To a degree maybe jill is showing Jessa not what to do.

with Jill it is just in your face obvious -where Jessa it's hidden to a degree but not much

Ben is a man child - while Derick is just witless

[nastyhobbitses]

30 minutes ago, nst said:

what is sad and amusing at the sad time - how obvious it is - opposed to so far to Jessa.  To a degree maybe jill is showing Jessa not what to do.

with Jill it is just in your face obvious -where Jessa it's hidden to a degree but not much

Ben is a man child - while Derick is just witless

I think Derick wants to recapture his days in Nepal, where he was basically a more Jesus-y backpacking bum. As someone who did that sans the Jesus for a year, I can tell you that it's a great life (though not something to do forever) and I would go back to it in a heartbeat (though perhaps with a different organization). But it's really hard to be a backpacking bum when you have a far less adventurous, completely un-independent wife and an infant child, so I can see why he looks so burnt out and like he has no spark left in him. Adulthood and responsibility are just punching him in the face while he clings to the memories of riding around on a motorbike with naught but a daypack and a vague idea of what village he was going to.

[Valerie3kids]

25 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I think Derick wants to recapture his days in Nepal, where he was basically a more Jesus-y backpacking bum. As someone who did that sans the Jesus for a year, I can tell you that it's a great life (though not something to do forever) and I would go back to it in a heartbeat (though perhaps with a different organization). But it's really hard to be a backpacking bum when you have a far less adventurous, completely un-independent wife and an infant child, so I can see why he looks so burnt out and like he has no spark left in him. Adulthood and responsibility are just punching him in the face while he clings to the memories of riding around on a motorbike with naught but a daypack and a vague idea of what village he was going to.

I can see that being the case. He certainly had a lot of freedom and probably answered to no one. Now, he probably can not go to the bathroom without letting Jill know where he is and for how long. But, maybe that will teach the nitwit to think twice next time he makes a life changing decision. I doubt it though as it looks like they left willy nilly for their super secret missionary work. It really bothers me all the wedding gifts they asked for are probably in storage or being used by who knows who and people probably spent their hard earned money on them.

[SassyPants]

3 hours ago, Valerie3kids said:

I can see that being the case. He certainly had a lot of freedom and probably answered to no one. Now, he probably can not go to the bathroom without letting Jill know where he is and for how long. But, maybe that will teach the nitwit to think twice next time he makes a life changing decision. I doubt it though as it looks like they left willy nilly for their super secret missionary work. It really bothers me all the wedding gifts they asked for are probably in storage or being used by who knows who and people probably spent their hard earned money on them.

Yep- so immature and disrespectful to accept all those gifts [ask for them on a registry]....move into someone else's property, put holes all over the walls, accept 4,000 sq feet of furniture, including a gliding rocker that was used for all of weeks, and then cast it all aside while you take your blessing and flea for different pastures. These folks make decisions using the reasoning skills of average 5 year olds. They do not live in our world. They are ill prepared for life in the real world.

[nst]

10 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Yep- so immature and disrespectful to accept all those gifts [ask for them on a registry]....move into someone else's property, put holes all over the walls, accept 4,000 sq feet of furniture, including a gliding rocker that was used for all of weeks, and then cast it all aside while you take your blessing and flea for different pastures. These folks make decisions using the reasoning skills of average 5 year olds. They do not live in our world. They are ill prepared for life in the real world.

all of that made me physically sick now - no sense of work ethic - obvious freeloading of everyone 

 

 

 

[Cleopatra7]

5 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Jill is very, very emotionally immature, and I think that she saw her siblings more like fun sentient dollies that she got to take care of like a big girl instead of, well, her siblings whom her MOTHER should be raising, and now that way of thinking is influencing how she raises Israel. Then throw in the fact that the only alone time she ever got as a child was in the bathroom, her relationships with men before Derick were (as we learned last year) pretty messed up, and she's been raised to see her self-worth refracted through men. Homegirl needs some major therapy, and she'll never get any, because in fundie culture, she's doing everything right.

This, a million times over. The quiverfull lifestyle makes it impossible to create autonomous, emotionally healthy adults, because children are "trained" to only see themselves as members of a familial unit and are only allowed to feel a very narrow set of emotions. The natural result of such an upbringing is someone like Jill, who cannot stand to be alone and has the emotional and intellectual development of an eleven year old (yet, is supposed to homeschool her own quiver). The same is true of Josh, who also seems very immature, has little respect for others, especially women, and has poor judgement, yet has four children and will be expected to have more after Jesus Rehab ends. About half a dozen other young adult Duggars are hanging around the TTH, doing chores for their parents, and not receiving any educational or vocational training to lead independent lives. I don't see how the leghumpers can fail to see how badly  JB and Michelle have failed their children.

[JenniferJuniper]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

Yep- so immature and disrespectful to accept all those gifts [ask for them on a registry]....move into someone else's property, put holes all over the walls, accept 4,000 sq feet of furniture, including a gliding rocker that was used for all of weeks, and then cast it all aside while you take your blessing and flea for different pastures. These folks make decisions using the reasoning skills of average 5 year olds. They do not live in our world. They are ill prepared for life in the real world.

Some day they'll have to join us. Grifting on the Duggar brand is only going to work for so long.  I feel sorry for the children.

While I definitely think this "mission" is mostly about Derick getting away from his 9 - 5 workaday world, it's also hard to tell what was staged for the show and what's real with these people.

[SassyPants]

10 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

This, a million times over. The quiverfull lifestyle makes it impossible to create autonomous, emotionally healthy adults, because children are "trained" to only see themselves as members of a familial unit and are only allowed to feel a very narrow set of emotions. The natural result of such an upbringing is someone like Jill, who cannot stand to be alone and has the emotional and intellectual development of an eleven year old (yet, is supposed to homeschool her own quiver). The same is true of Josh, who also seems very immature, has little respect for others, especially women, and has poor judgement, yet has four children and will be expected to have more after Jesus Rehab ends. About half a dozen other young adult Duggars are hanging around the TTH, doing chores for their parents, and not receiving any educational or vocational training to lead independent lives. I don't see how the leghumpers can fail to see how badly  JB and Michelle have failed their children.

Ironic, isn't it, for SO MANY reasons, that JB thought it was wise to sell his wholesome family and better than parenting style to the media!

They failed every one of those kids.

[biblelandjunkie]

Blessa has just posted several videos tonight on her IG of Blaze.... Baby Daddy has his stupid hat on all crooked wanna be gangsta like ... geeze 

[Jana'sHairScrunchie]

@biblelandjunkie Your avatar is going to give me nightmares. Well done. 

[nst]

1 hour ago, biblelandjunkie said:

Blessa has just posted several videos tonight on her IG of Blaze.... Baby Daddy has his stupid hat on all crooked wanna be gangsta like ... geeze 

people are posting on Jessa's facebook more than gangsta Ben  - and they have the exact same thing on each 

and I love that avatar

 

[nst]

55 people like it on Ben's and 259 on jessa's  

 

[missegeno]

Ironic, isn't it, for SO MANY reasons, that JB thought it was wise to sell his wholesome family and better than parenting style to the media!

They failed every one of those kids.

Part of me worries that she show was somewhat a response to Josh's indiscretions. They were media whores to begin with, yes. But they may have realized with the Josh things that they didn't have total control. That they had too many kids to keep track of. And it's hard to watch kids while having sex in hopes of more. Maybe they thought the kids wouldn't be able to get away with anything if cameras are looming. I could see them gunning for it as an additional means of control in that time when they were probably feeling their authority to be challenged. If so, they're even more foolish than I thought!

[Gimme a Free RV]

13 hours ago, biblelandjunkie said:

Blessa has just posted several videos tonight on her IG of Blaze.... Baby Daddy has his stupid hat on all crooked wanna be gangsta like ... geeze 

The mom in me wants to walk onto the "set" while he's recording and yank that cap off his head, tell him to sit up straight, and act like an adult who also happens to be a father.

[Brienna]

Looking at the photo from the pro life thing they went to, it seems Jessa doesn't know how to use a sling properly either

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

Any idea who filmed/edited Ben's riveting Flame interview?  Seems kinda artsy-fartsy for this group.