Fundie family?

[Toothfairy]

I don't really know if they're fundie or not, but I came across this blog. http://5kids6months.blogspot.com/2014/06/dressing-modestly-cute-on-thrift-store.html?m=1

Wife got married at 17 to a 28 yo (grown man marrying young girl, no harm right)

She wasn't that religious then found jesus. 

Stopped taking birth control to allow God to control family size. While in the process of adopting from foster care. 

Stopped wearing pants for skirts. 

Has all her kids business on the Internet.

 

 

[alexandracabot]

I have been meaning to post about this family. They're definitely fundie — "debt-free," use blanket training, etc. 

I actually have a soft spot for them, I don't know. They seem to have done a pretty good job with really troubled older kids and have them in therapy, and she talked about dealing with food-hoarding in a non-punitive way. They do sweet things like bring their adopted daughter to her birth mother's wedding and bringing their older kids back to see old teachers. And they do real-Christian things like going to Krispy Kreme dressed like pirates but then handing out the donuts to firefighters and policeman instead of hoarding them, or taking their kids all go out and clean up the neighborhood after Halloween (which they get to dress up for). They met a young man working in a restaurant who had aged out of foster care without a family and went back and brought him a birthday cake and card a few days later.

They also took in a re-homed boy — a French TV station did a spot about them: http://www.francetvinfo.fr/monde/etats-unis-des-petites-annonces-pour-readopter-un-enfant-deja-adopte-une-premiere-fois_1140359.html

I may be wearing rose-colored glasses, though. There's definitely some troubling stuff in there.

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

I think this is the family that camped near the Duggars one year at Big Sandy and had some interesting things to say about a few of the younger Duggars.  The story of their second chance adoption was heart-warming. 

[nelliebelle1197]

2 minutes ago, TXGirlInAMaterialWorld said:

I think this is the family that camped near the Duggars one year at Big Sandy and had some interesting things to say about a few of the younger Duggars.  The story of their second chance adoption was heart-warming. 

Interesting in what way?

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

This mom also said she spent a lot of time picking Michelle's brain- hopefully as a what not to do.....

This blogger mentioned that Josie was a wild child.  Here is the post.  

http://5kids6months.blogspot.com/2013/04/a-week-in-big-sandy-tx-with-duggars.html

[sawasdee]

6 minutes ago, TXGirlInAMaterialWorld said:

This mom also said she spent a lot of time picking Michelle's brain- hopefully as a what not to do.....

This blogger mentioned that Josie was a wild child.  Here is the post.  

http://5kids6months.blogspot.com/2013/04/a-week-in-big-sandy-tx-with-duggars.html

In the pictures on that post from her blog is one of 'blanket time' for the two little ones....

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

Well, that's a bummer!  I think this family is really how a lot of ATI'ers will look in this next generation- they will get involved in things like adoption (unheard of in the IFB world I grew up in) and more involved with politics and maybe let their kids do a few more "normal" activities but still have the same poisonous beliefs simmering right below the surface.  

[imokit]

a lot of indoctrination going in those kids bios, all of them were moved from a place where they were unsafe to a place where they were fed and loved.

All of them would give their birth mothers a bible so their mother's have a chance to join them to heaven

- You can see the narrative - we rescued from an awful place, now not only are you fed and sheltered but we're teaching you to go heaven, sadly your birth parents don't have are values and won't go (that's part of why they couldn't care for you and you were taken from horrific things).

 

She also follows Voddy Buacham - he believes that a 3 year old should be spanked at least 3 times before breakfast and babies are vipers in diapers and full of sin.

 

Call me cynical, but I'm not holding up much hope (though the Disney princess earrings in her recent post is a ray of sunshine - Frozen is bad for fundies as its a gay anthem & rebellion anthem - or so I've read  )

[Lamoria]

You know, I saw this and went to the blog- I so wanted another family to roll my eyes at. However, I read this post, and I have to admit, I think I got that soft spot a little too:

5kids6months.blogspot.com/2014/10/birth-moms-adoptive-moms-real-moms.html

I can tell you right now, had I a child that I adopted(I dont.) it would be extremely hard for me to allow them to go to their birth mom's wedding, and as a matter of fact, selfishly, I probably wouldn't let them go. That took a big thing to do that.

Now, I'm not saying there aren't other issues (name changes for one), which I'm sure other people can comment on as I haven't had time to go that deep down this rabbit hole, but this post stood out to me!

[FundieFarmer]

I'd run across this family before but didn't look much into them.

When I first opened the link, I thought the mother was one of the daughters. Oops.

[alexandracabot]

Also very heartwarming and hard to snark on is their most recently adopted daughter, who has very serious (possibly terminal?) medical issues and cognitive disabilities. The mom spent weeks at a time in the hospital with her just after adopting her. They just posted this photo of her on a Christmas parade float:

https://www.facebook.com/5Kids6Months/photos/a.10153460352488821.1073741837.136241948820/10153460354588821/?type=3&theater

Does anyone know what the rule is with foster kids and physical discipline? Can you do anything once you adopt, or are there still rules?

[Toothfairy]

39 minutes ago, alexandracabot said:

Also very heartwarming and hard to snark on is their most recently adopted daughter, who has very serious (possibly terminal?) medical issues and cognitive disabilities. The mom spent weeks at a time in the hospital with her just after adopting her. They just posted this photo of her on a Christmas parade float:

https://www.facebook.com/5Kids6Months/photos/a.10153460352488821.1073741837.136241948820/10153460354588821/?type=3&theater

Does anyone know what the rule is with foster kids and physical discipline? Can you do anything once you adopt, or are there still rules?

Once you adopt you can do anything you want including spanking. But it's not recommended. 

I really like what they've done. Especially getting and taking in hard to place kids and a rehome adoption.  But there's something off about this family.  From reading the kids bios they're all the same(getting saved, Jesus, and parents getting to heaven) Plus I hate that this information is public. There's also a pic with Jim Bob. They've done some good things but they're still off to me. I hope they don't go full fundie.

[chaotic life]

They appear to have good hearts and started out on the right track. But as often happens, the more you sip the kool aid, the more punitive and negative you'll grow. They formally joined ATI this year. Their style of parenting will change the longer they stay in ATI, which dictates much about your personal lives in order to maintain your membership status.

[FundieFarmer]

If nothing else happens from our snark on these families, I'd be happy for these kids' childhoods to be lived free of public display.

On the flip side, it's a way to keep an eye on abuse.

[ViolaSebastian]

From peeking at the children's stories (under the About Us tab), I am very uncomfortable with the level of detail they went into about the children's lives before they came to live with Brian and Shannon.  There are some things that should be kept private until the children are adults and are able to consent to their past being exposed for the whole world to see, including potential mates and future employers.

[dianapavelovna]

I like a lot of what Shannon writes - the post about taking her daughter to her birth mom's wedding, the post where she describes how she handled food hoarding. I think I might really like her if she weren't a fundie. But I have trouble getting past the fact that they got married when she was 17 & he was 28 after first meeting when she was 14 and he was her boss.

Also, super eyeroll at this post: http://5kids6months.blogspot.com/2013/10/what-does-bible-say-about-reactive.html

protip: the Bible does not say SHIT about "RAD" (or RAD).

[alexandracabot]

8 minutes ago, dianapavelovna said:

I like a lot of what Shannon writes - the post about taking her daughter to her birth mom's wedding, the post where she describes how she handled food hoarding. I think I might really like her if she weren't a fundie. But I have trouble getting past the fact that they got married when she was 17 & he was 28 after first meeting when she was 14 and he was her boss.

Also, super eyeroll at this post: http://5kids6months.blogspot.com/2013/10/what-does-bible-say-about-reactive.html

protip: the Bible does not say SHIT about "RAD" (or RAD).

I'm basically on the same page as you. The 17-year-old thing is incredibly creepy. I've always been very, very turned off by him because of it, but I do like her. I believe she's a really good, loving person, and I think her kids are living good, happy lives. Until, of course, one of them turns out to be gay. 

[December]

It sounds like they have a lot of good intentions adopting these children. But there's some things that definitely strike me as "off," as others have already said. The very detailed backgrounds on the children and their adoption circumstances seem unnecessary and invasive for a public blog.

The name changes really confuse me. Maybe someone who is an adoptee or has adopted can shed some light on this question, but is it normal/advisable for parents to change an older adopted child's name? I get changing a baby's name, because they're not old enough to really have formed an identity around it. But most of these children were a few years old when they adopted them. 

[FundieFarmer]

In my area a lot of parents will give their children new nicknames if they were from another country, but definitely no name changes for a child born stateside.

[dianapavelovna]

1 hour ago, December said:

It sounds like they have a lot of good intentions adopting these children. But there's some things that definitely strike me as "off," as others have already said. The very detailed backgrounds on the children and their adoption circumstances seem unnecessary and invasive for a public blog.

The name changes really confuse me. Maybe someone who is an adoptee or has adopted can shed some light on this question, but is it normal/advisable for parents to change an older adopted child's name? I get changing a baby's name, because they're not old enough to really have formed an identity around it. But most of these children were a few years old when they adopted them. 

In my experience, some older kids will want to change their name or maybe the spelling (usually to a more common one). I have a lot who only change their middle and/or last names. If the name change of a child older than, say, 3 or 4, seems completely parent-driven, that would be a red flag for me.

I also just noticed that the kids kept their original names as middle names. Several of the older kids' were pretty unusual, so they may have wanted a name that didn't stand out as much.

[Taters]

18 hours ago, alexandracabot said:

I actually have a soft spot for them, I don't know. They seem to have done a pretty good job with really troubled older kids and have them in therapy, and she talked about dealing with food-hoarding in a non-punitive way. They do sweet things like bring their adopted daughter to her birth mother's wedding and bringing their older kids back to see old teachers. And they do real-Christian things like going to Krispy Kreme dressed like pirates but then handing out the donuts to firefighters and policeman instead of hoarding them, or taking their kids all go out and clean up the neighborhood after Halloween (which they get to dress up for). They met a young man working in a restaurant who had aged out of foster care without a family and went back and brought him a birthday cake and card a few days later.

I may be wearing rose-colored glasses, though. There's definitely some troubling stuff in there.

I looked them up yesterday and was moved to tears by the children's stories and the photoshoot. 
I was not moved by the children's message to their biological mothers...

[WhiteRun]

Quote

This analogy or parable came to me as I sat in the bathroom late at night this past week, crying out to God to show me what I am to do.

It sounds like Shannon had a Michelle Duggar style laundry room breakdown recently. 

Finding out their unable to have their own baby must of been so difficult but it's lovely that they've introduced their adopted children with such open arms. I particularly enjoyed Shannons post about going to Maggie's birth mothers wedding. That was such a kind thing to do. 
Other fundie families (I'm looking at you Kim) take note- this is how you raise an adopted child!
Edited to add: they have a YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/scintally/videos

[AmazonGrace]

10 hours ago, dianapavelovna said:

I like a lot of what Shannon writes - the post about taking her daughter to her birth mom's wedding, the post where she describes how she handled food hoarding. I think I might really like her if she weren't a fundie. But I have trouble getting past the fact that they got married when she was 17 & he was 28 after first meeting when she was 14 and he was her boss.

Also, super eyeroll at this post: http://5kids6months.blogspot.com/2013/10/what-does-bible-say-about-reactive.html

protip: the Bible does not say SHIT about "RAD" (or RAD).

Quote

Learning Problems
RAD children have trouble learning, so they test out at a lower level than their age mates.
Biblical Lens: While some RAD children truly have learning problems, the learning problem of many is simply that they refuse to learn. Quickness to learn what they want belies test results indicative of retardation or learning disabilities. There may be several reasons for the refusal to learn. A child obsessed with safety is too distracted to learn and avoids risk of failure (Matt. 25:24-25). Learning is hard work. An appearance of being stupid can dupe others, possibly inducing teachers and parents to reduce the work load and expect less (Prov. 12:20). Learning situations are opportunities to play control games (Prov. 9:17;10:23; 26:18-19). Some people take delight in showing contempt for knowledge (Prov. 1:22, 25). Whatever the reasons, learning time is wasted and education lost. Then, it can appear that the child is less intelligent when the real problem is refusal to learn (Prov. 1:7; 22).

Nice, she thinks kids with documented learning disability or retardation are just pretending for selfish gains if they happened to learn something they were interested in once.

Most of these Bible verses have nothing to do with whatever she's talking about.

[Lamoria]

I do agree with what everyone said about the ages, that is just a little off. When I first went to the blog I also thought that the mom was one of the kids. There is no way at the age of 17 I was ready for marriage- heck I'm 27 and getting married next year, and still am probably not ready. Though, I understand people mature at different rates and maybe this was a different situation, I     personally am not buying it due to the age difference of her and her husband.

[Walking Cat Bed]

15 hours ago, dianapavelovna said:

I like a lot of what Shannon writes - the post about taking her daughter to her birth mom's wedding, the post where she describes how she handled food hoarding. I think I might really like her if she weren't a fundie. But I have trouble getting past the fact that they got married when she was 17 & he was 28 after first meeting when she was 14 and he was her boss.

Also, super eyeroll at this post: http://5kids6months.blogspot.com/2013/10/what-does-bible-say-about-reactive.html

protip: the Bible does not say SHIT about "RAD" (or RAD).

Yep. I noticed right off that she looks VERY young. I re-read the "how we met" story three times to make sure I was reading it right; I wanted so badly to believe that he was 25 and she was 17 when they met, not 14. That's creepy. An eleven-year age difference when the younger person is still a teenager is very, very creepy.