First family pic of Elissa, Joe, and Calia Maxwell is up

[DaffyDill]

That photo of Joseph and Calia, he's looking at her as if she's his dinner...

[Guest]

That photo of Joseph and Calia, he's looking at her as if she's his dinner...

Right after Sarah snapped that pic, the poor baby probably opened her eyes and started screaming. Imagine waking up and seeing Maxwell crazy eyes an inch from your face...

Sarah does take better pics than Christopher, though. Of course, he set the bar really low, but still.

[DaffyDill]

Right after Sarah snapped that pic, the poor baby probably opened her eyes and started screaming. Imagine waking up and seeing Maxwell crazy eyes an inch from your face...

Sarah does take better pics than Christopher, though. Of course, he set the bar really low, but still.

Or...Joseph opened his mouth wide, his hungry eyes glinting dangerously....when Elissa snatched "her little girl" away from him and fled to safety, away from the dinner table.

Yes, Christopher's photography skill bar doubles as a limbo bar, it's that low. I don't know how he makes any money from it. Firstly, there are few people in the world he and Steve would deem "Christian" enough to photograph, and secondly, most people, if they are paying good money, want as good a photographer as they can find. Which is not Christopher. Sarah's shots have much more warmth and life to them, although if we all keep pointing that out, Steve may take her camera away from her, as she's showing her older, male brother up.

[Paperplate]

I often don't find the Maxwells as manical looking as you guys, because I often only glance at the pictures, but the last set of Calia photos ... wow!! :pink-shock: :pink-shock:

That first pic with Joseph holding Calia... He looks like a full-on crazy psychopath, ready to take a bite of that delicious baby!! :pink-shock:

[Paperplate]

Off topic but new post up. It's Sarah's new book and she looks sooooo worn out, i have a close friend who's almost exactly Sarah's age, has 3 kids and is married aaaaand she looks way younger, i guess livin with Stevie can destroy you.

Wow, she does look tired. Those are bad angles for her, but yeah, her eyes have bags under them and more wrinkles then I've seen on her before. That smile is just so forced.

As an aside, why do they have to tease the new book? Just announce the damn thing. Didn't she already reveal it was a Moody book anyway? With drawings by Mary.

I kinda like that picture. I thought she looked a bit cheeky.

She does look older than before, but she actually is older than before, so I'm not really surprised.

But yeah, why tease the book?? We already know ...

[WonderingInWA]

Christopher's wedding photography is awful. Out of sheer boredom I just visited his wedding galleries web page and noticed he photographed a wedding in July. I didn't even get a quarter of the way down the page before spotting at least one exit sign, a fire extinguisher, and a drinking fountain. I'm no photographer, but wouldn't you crop those things out before posting photos on your "professional" website?

Sarah would do better at photographing weddings. But then that would probably make her even more sad that she's a spinster.

[sparkles]

Christopher's wedding photography is awful. Out of sheer boredom I just visited his wedding galleries web page and noticed he photographed a wedding in July. I didn't even get a quarter of the way down the page before spotting at least one exit sign, a fire extinguisher, and a drinking fountain. I'm no photographer, but wouldn't you crop those things out before posting photos on your "professional" website?

Sarah would do better at photographing weddings. But then that would probably make her even more sad that she's a spinster.

Christopher claims he shoots in the photojournalistic style for weddings and the like, but he has no real understanding of what that is. He shoots like he's in a war zone with absolutely no time to frame or find the light because at any second he could be shot or blown up. But a wedding is not a war zone. He could easily capture the event realistically yet with an artistic eye (something he doesn't possess) but he thinks that moving a broom out of frame or asking the bride to go another location just because she happens to be standing outside the bathroom would somehow be a lie. The guy is fucking clueless.

[anjulibai]

Christopher claims he shoots in the photojournalistic style for weddings and the like, but he has no real understanding of what that is. He shoots like he's in a war zone with absolutely no time to frame or find the light because at any second he could be shot or blown up. But a wedding is not a war zone. He could easily capture the event realistically yet with an artistic eye (something he doesn't possess) but he thinks that moving a broom out of frame or asking the bride to go another location just because she happens to be standing outside the bathroom would somehow be a lie. The guy is fucking clueless.

Photographers in war zones shoot better pictures.

Which is a very sad thing to say.

[twin2]

Another day, another series of photos of that poor baby trussed up with a dinner plate-sized flower stuck to her head.

Current headband count: 4

Dear Fundies

There is a very obscure passage in the Bible I wanted to bring to your attention:

"If thy flowery headband is bigger than thy face, verily I say onto you, do not put it on thine head"

I can't remember what chapter I read it in, but I swear it is in there.

Your welcome

Twin2

[LilMissMetaphor]

I'll take it even further and say just stop with the newborn pix altogether. It creeps me out in the extreme. I always think I'm looking at pictures of dead babies. Haaaaate.

Agreed. While we're at it, let's stop shoving them in pumpkins, draping them over cabbages, sticking them in cowboy boots, or having a random hand suspend them in the air by means of a thin blanket.

In the late 70s, my parents put me in a laundry basket for transport from the hospital. While not up to 2015 safety standards, at least there's an element of practicality of that. I'm glad they didn't lay me across the train tracks and take a picture because OMG, tiny baby, massive train tracks, so cute right?? :roll:

[Justme]

Sarah posted some pictures she took. They are better than Chris's. However the child is sleeping through nearly all.

I hate these poised, "artsy" pictures. When I look back, I want to see bright smiles, interaction, children caught in a special moment. At least, wait until the baby is awake to capture her eyes.....

But these are the Maxwells, got to stick to the schedule....

[Emme]

That photo of Joseph and Calia, he's looking at her as if she's his dinner...

Right? He's about to consume that baby. Joe has creepy creepy eyes.

[PennySycamore]

Was Calia a bit early by any chance? That would account for her low birthweight and also for looking slightly undercooked.

[anjulibai]

They said she wasn't, but I don't know. She's awfully tiny. They could have guessed the due date wrong.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

How does Christopher make a living from photography? I can tell you how. His customers are uneducated and inartistic and unquestioning. They are the same people who look at the Maxwell blog and think everything is so cute and wonderful in Maxhell. I can just imagine some poor bride going through her pictures and not liking the bathroom door in the background or the dirty mop and bucket. However since she has been raised to be cheerful and submissive to men how can she possibly complain? And if she does say something, Christopher will just put on his "professional" smile and tell her that it is the details which tell an interesting story about her wedding...or some such bullshit.

[mango_fandango]

Oh wow. Calia looks miserable in that last picture. (I know babies can't control their emotions, but let's not hope that Calia will grow up to secretly harbour any kind of ambition other than being a baby machine.)

And blimey, how many photos are there? It's not like Calia's the first Maxwell grandchild. Drew didn't get this many last year. He was also subjected to the gauze disaster but his was blue.

Count me in with people who dislike huge flower headbands. What is the point of sticking a headband onto a bald baby anyway? Isn't the whole point of them to, err, scrape back hair? It's bad enough when it's just one of those net bands with a little bow on it, but when there's a honking great flower on there too it's just ridiculous. We get it, your child is a girl. It's like those pictures with Ruthanne last year when she was wearing a headband when she was only two and a half hours old.

Well, at least we haven't seen any evidence of them using one of those ghastly headbands with little pigtails on them like the Duggars did. Those are just taking things too far.

[Coco]

Dear Fundies

There is a very obscure passage in the Bible I wanted to bring to your attention:

"If thy flowery headband is bigger than thy face, verily I say onto you, do not put it on thine head"

I can't remember what chapter I read it in, but I swear it is in there.

Your welcome

Twin2

it's 1 Peter 3:3-4 :lol:

[DaffyDill]

Christopher really needs to take the Arndt boys lead when it comes to photography. Their stuff is way better IMHO.

Although I suspect even the Arndts would be considered too worldly for Steve's son to spend time with. And that's saying something.

[AngelGirl8811]

Christopher really needs to take the Arndt boys lead when it comes to photography. Their stuff is way better IMHO.

Although I suspect even the Arndts would be considered too worldly for Steve's son to spend time with. And that's saying something.

How would Steve feel about Cathy's white shorts? :twisted:

[HerNameIsBuffy]

How would Steve feel about Cathy's white shorts? :twisted:

If Cathy and her white shorts came anywhere near The Maxwells Steve would rail about her evil worldliness*, Teri would judge her like nobody's business, and Sarah would pray for her while recovering from the shock that someone dressed like the airport harlot with their contracting button colors was in their midst.

*While he checked her out. Cathy Arndt has a lot to answer for when it comes to how her life choices have impacted her kids, but she looks damn good in those shorts and Steve would notice ..and then blame her for cussing in to sin.

No way an Arndt boy would get within speaking distance to Sarah, Anna, or Mary...which I hate to say is a really good thing for the Arndts. Those guys have fun and no Maxwell would allow that.

[Jana814]

I have to agree Steve would never allow an Arndt boy anywhere near his daughters.

[Guest]

How does Christopher make a living from photography? I can tell you how. His customers are uneducated and inartistic and unquestioning. They are the same people who look at the Maxwell blog and think everything is so cute and wonderful in Maxhell. I can just imagine some poor bride going through her pictures and not liking the bathroom door in the background or the dirty mop and bucket. However since she has been raised to be cheerful and submissive to men how can she possibly complain? And if she does say something, Christopher will just put on his "professional" smile and tell her that it is the details which tell an interesting story about her wedding...or some such bullshit.

ITA. Also, I think many of these families consider the fact that they are supporting a family that is the "right" type of Christian to be more important that the quality of the work. Better to get crappy pics from an uber-fundie Maxwell than risk giving your money to *gasp* a liberal. :roll:

[Palimpsest]

Just bringing over some things that were being discussed in the Shelter:

Sarah's new Moody book is on preorder.  "The Moodys in Colorado" is the last of the series but she is starting a whole new series.  God help us all. 

Bethany (or is it Christina?) is on the new revamped cover of "Keeping Your Children's Hearts." 

Gigi broke her ankle.  The Maxwells are so happy that they can help her in her time of need because only good Christians care for aging parents, ya know.  We hope Gigi recovers soon.

Is Anna neglected on the Titus 2 blog?  She doesn't seem to be featured much unless she is cooking but she dig write the post about Gigi's ankle.

Carry on.

 

[HereticHick]

New post count title:  Mourning the end of the Moody Series

 

What do we think Sarah's new series will be about?  The "Millers"? The "Maxtons"?  The "Mansfields"?

[Dru]

From the FJ Shelter:

 

 

I think Teri's parents drank the kool aid at some point. That's the only explanation that makes sense.

I have always thought it was strange that the Maxwells lived next door to Teri's parents, when Steve seems to have an aversion to having much contacted with those who are not his immediate family, I.e, Teri and their kids. Teri's parents seemed to be deeply involved on their lives, unlike other family members, especially those on Steve's side of the family. I wonder if he allowed them to be so involved because the family relied on them when Teri was in the midst of her depression. It seems that the kids have been allowed to be close to Teri's parents, which seems unusual in the Maxwell world.

I'm not sure that Teri's parents drank the Flavor Aid so much as they were willing to put up with Steve's shit in order to be close to their obviously struggling daughter. Gigi was once spotted in shorts when vacationing with Tami and her husband, which Steve would not approve of at any age. Also Gigi seems to have friends.