Lori Alexander - Still Not Learning A Thing, Part 3

[iweartanktops]

I know most of what I'm about to say has been mentioned already but I just can't keep quiet any longer! I am newish around here and discovered the Alexander threads (and dreadful blog) over the weekend and I have been reading this craziness non-stop! I don't even know where to begin!

First of all, I've been a nanny for several years. I also have bachelor's degrees in child development and public health. My first job out of college was working in a shelter with children who had just been removed from homes often much like Lorken's. I only stayed in that position for two years because of the secondary trauma I suffered from seeing these innocent children come to us and reading their case files and caring for them hands on day after day. It physically pains me to read these monsters' accounts of how they abused their children with such pride! I can't fucking stand it! I could go on for hours about the lasting affects the trauma they inflicted on their children might be. I'm disgusted.

And their "marriage?" What bull shit. Who are these people to think that they know ANYTHING to be giving advice!? Especially Christian advice! I'm so outraged and quite honestly, in disbelief, that I can barely write coherent sentences regarding these foolish monsters!

As for Lori's health issues, I'm not sure if I have much compassion for her. I certainly don't wish her suffering but after everything I've read so far I'm not sure I'd be in a hurry to run over to take her some soup!

[Loveday]

OK, why don't they already have a housekeeper once every week or so? Lori has ongoing health problems, she has had one in the past and they can afford a housekeeper.

It wouldn't surprise me in the least if they do have a housekeeper and have just not mentioned it.

[salex]

It wouldn't surprise me in the least if they do have a housekeeper and have just not mentioned it.

I am good with it if they do,but I suspect it would mar their "brand" to have a housekeeper with no kids in the house and all her talk about keeping house and messy houses, etc.

And, I know many people never tell anyone, or certainly rarely mention it if they have a housekeeper.

[salex]

Lori is giving us lessons on how to be a good wife, as well as in math and English Usage today....

Here is a list of eight things godly wives should learn to do!

1)They need to learn to cook. (third person, but switches to second person in the paragraph... They need to learn to cook. You also need to study nutrition.)

2)They also need to learn to clean. (Third person, some second person and plural first person, in the paragraph. When there is too much clutter, it means you are too attached to worldly possessions. We don't need so much stuff. )

She does better the next few paragraphs, though switches between paragraphs.

3)She can learn to fix his plate.

4)A godly woman watches her mouth.

5) We should also compliment our husbands.

6) Take good care of yourself and look nice for your man.

7) Finally, Be a Holy Mother. (Batman)

OK, I count 7 in her list of 8, unless she meant to split "take good care of yourself" from "Look nice for your man" ...

Seems tossed together, redundant and well, poorly done.

[polecat]

Lori is giving us lessons on how to be a good wife, as well as in math and English Usage today....

Here is a list of eight things godly wives should learn to do!

1)They need to learn to cook. (third person, but switches to second person in the paragraph... They need to learn to cook. You also need to study nutrition.)

I wonder how much of this switching person is careless and how much is actually an insight into Lori's thought processes. Other women need to learn to cook. YOU (who? Someone who prefers junk food?) need to study nutrition.

2)They also need to learn to clean. (Third person, some second person and plural first person, in the paragraph. When there is too much clutter, it means you are too attached to worldly possessions. We don't need so much stuff. )

Same here. Someone has too much stuff and is too attached to worldly stuff. WE don't need all that stuff!

3)She can learn to fix his plate.

4)A godly woman watches her mouth.

5) We should also compliment our husbands.

6) Take good care of yourself and look nice for your man.

7) Finally, Be a Holy Mother. (Batman)

OK, I count 7 in her list of 8, unless she meant to split "take good care of yourself" from "Look nice for your man" ...

Seems tossed together, redundant and well, poorly done.

Someone is running off at the mouth and making her husband fill his own plate (that poor, poor man who would give up his life for his wife can't even get a freaking chicken leg on his own).

Lori, what is going on in that little grumpy head of yours?

[iweartanktops]

That list is terribly written!

In addition to above, "fix his plate." What's wrong with his plate that it needs repair?

"Watches her mouth" How about, "speaks politely and doesn't use foul language?"

I don't even know what, "be a holy mother," means!

Sorry to be the grammar/writing police, but if she's going to call herself a blogger and/or writer, she should be able to write much better than this!

Ugh, she drives me crazy!

[Fascinated]

I know Lori has been unwell but I have a couple of issues with this.

I need to 'fix my husband's plate'? Is it broken? If she means 'put his dinner on his plate and serve it to him', that's what she should say.

How does one watch one's mouth?

How, exactly does a mother arrange to be holy?

Is it really bad that, in my mind, I added 'fucker' to 'be a holy mother'?

She sucks.

ETA. sorry, I see these points were already made.

[iweartanktops]

I know Lori has been unwell but I have a couple of issues with this.

I need to 'fix my husband's plate'? Is it broken? If she means 'put his dinner on his plate and serve it to him', that's what she should say.

How does one watch one's mouth?

How, exactly does a mother arrange to be holy?

Is it really bad that, in my mind, I added 'fucker' to 'be a holy mother'?

She sucks.

ETA. sorry, I see these points were already made.

Great minds think alike! Fucker didn't occur to me though! You just made my day!

[FundieFarmer]

To be fair, those are pretty well-known colloquial terms in my area (except for Holy Mother...f). My mom used to say she was fixing our plates and to watch our mouths...as well as quit being ugly and stop acting like the north end of a southbound horse. Then again, I'm in the south, so I'm not sure it translates to California.

But IWearTankTops is right in that it's definitely not quite a professional standard.

[AmazonGrace]

Nothing wrong with doing nice things for your husband occasionally but is a godly man really so helpless and lazy that he can't pour salad dressing on his own damn salad if he wants it?

[usmcmom]

I'm pretty sure Lori is speaking in code with some of these pointers. Based on what we've learned from her blog over the years, I think I've deciphered some of her thoughts.

1. They need to learn to cook...the books for when he asks her to cheat on their taxes.

2. They also need to learn to clean....their computer's search history for those one or two times a month he looks at porn.

3. She can learn to fix his plate....and remove all hamburgers and French fries, replacing them with organic veggies and chicken.

4. A Godly woman watches her mouth....and uses the computer to spew hatred without uttering a word.

5. We should also compliment our husbands. *This, I believe, was a simple auto correct issue. She meant to type. "We should always complain about our husbands (in a passive aggressive way, of course.)

6. Take good care of yourself and look nice for your man....because men hate fat women.

7. Finally be a....." HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! Why did I marry this man?!?" *bangs head on computer*

[usmcmom]

Seems tossed together, redundant and well, poorly done.

^^snipped

So, basically a post like any other day. I'm glad to see Lori is back to her normal self. :?

Edited to clarify snippage.

[jerkit]

I actually think the whole "fixing his plate" thing is infantilizing my husband, which is sort of the opposite of respecting him. By fixing his plate, I'm choosing what and how much he eats, much like you would do for a small child.

[usmcmom]

I actually think the whole "fixing his plate" thing is infantilizing my husband, which is sort of the opposite of respecting him. By fixing his plate, I'm choosing what and how much he eats, much like you would do for a small child.

Which is exactly what Lori has done to Ken ever since she won the food battle. She is very fixated on food and, for someone who believes she should not control her husband, she has a bizarre amount of control over his eating habits. No truly submissive wife would have harped on her husband about his eating like she did to Ken. I think he became a healthy eater just to shut her up. I also think she doesn't give a flying fig about the nutritional value of his food. I think she saw it as something she could control under the guise of "caring" and she went for it.

[Florita]

It looks like Lori's original source is this article from April 2014:

http://www.examiner.com/list/8-things-women-just-don-t-do-anymore

Lori used numbers 1 thru 6 in order, but got tripped up by #7 Dress Up for Dates, since she doesn't approve of women leaving the house and thinks date nights are a waste of money.

#8 is Anticipate His Needs. I'm surprised Lori didn't include Meet His Sex Needs on her version of the list. Makes me think she posted a rough draft that she's had in queue for a long while without proofreading.

[AmazonGrace]

From Examiner:

Women across the country at cookouts and family reunions and holidays can now be heard saying "He can fix his own plate... Ain't nothin' wrong with his legs..." (with an eye roll). That is not right ladies! You should honor your man by fixing his plate. You don't necessarily have to do it every single time he eats (because seriously, there's nothing wrong with his legs), but at least do it when you are in public as a sign of respect. And no, it's not demeaning. Have a servant's heart. Respect and honor him and he should return the favor.

I'm not sure that anyone I know would interpret me fixing his plate as a sign of respect. I would just think it was odd if someone brought me one, or possibly that there wasn't enough food and they want to make sure everyone gets some. It would be just a way to get it wrong and have more or less things on your plate that you wanted to eat

[usmcmom]

It looks like Lori's original source is this article from April 2014:

http://www.examiner.com/list/8-things-women-just-don-t-do-anymore

Lori used numbers 1 thru 6 in order, but got tripped up by #7 Dress Up for Dates, since she doesn't approve of women leaving the house and thinks date nights are a waste of money.

#8 is Anticipate His Needs. I'm surprised Lori didn't include Meet His Sex Needs on her version of the list. Makes me think she posted a rough draft that she's had in queue for a long while without proofreading.

And now Ken rushes to comment about the importance of meeting his sex needs in 5...4...3... We can't have women thinking it's not required. Then again, if Lori didn't list it, I am free to say "NO," right? :snooty:

Now I'm about to say something that is going to have Cabinet Man and Ken falling on the floor in dismay.

I can actually think of several times when....wait for it...my husband has filled my plate for me. I am not even kidding, you guys!!

When our kids were little and we had church potlucks, he often filled my plate and brought it to me, especially if I was busy feeding a baby or toddler. Sometimes, though, if I'd rather fill plates than feed kids, I'd offer to bring his meal and he would take care of the little ones. It's just about give and take; plus, that was in a phase of life when we were just thrilled to eat while sitting down so we didn't really care what was on the plate. :D

Also, at formal events where there is a buffet, he almost always offers to bring me a plate rather than have me navigate the crowd in a dress and heels. I see a lot of men do that. I thought it was just the chivalrous thing to do.

The thing that is missing in Ken and Lori's marriage, as we all know, is mutual respect. Ken showed us just recently that he would never lower himself to serving his wife. She had to get up and prepare her own meals when she was so ill she needed to be hospitalized.

[VodouDoll]

I do fix my husband's plate for dinner: I stand at the stove and ask him if he's hungry enough for a small, medium, or large amount of food and plate it for him accordingly....

Because he's busy helping our three year old wash her hands, settling her into her booster seat, getting her milk and little plate and fork, and making sure she's tidy and ready to eat. It has nothing to do with serving him and everything to do with division of labor.

I don't know about you guys, but I'd rather do it our way than the Alexander way.

[iweartanktops]

I prepared plates for my fiancé sometimes, while he played video games and was more than able AND willing to prepare his own. I did it because I simply enjoyed doing things for him. Similarly, he did the same for me while I was engrossed in some nerdy book of mine :)

[2xx1xy1JD]

I am sorry, but did Lori just post a quote linking eating disorders with lack of discipline??

I would like to see a legitimate source for that information. It's particularly shitty after what Lori's daughters went though.

If anything, some disorders like anorexia are particularly common in women who are exceedingly disciplined.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I serve most of my meals buffet or family style, so I rarely fix anyone's plate.

The last time I did so, I remember I was trying to be "fancy", and took a photo.

[FundieFarmer]

It kind of depends, for us. My mother always used to fix our plates and if we wanted seconds, we could go get them. Mr. FF winds up cooking more than I do just because we've always had totally different food likes/eating schedules, so he usually has to fix his own plate. But if I cook, I don't mind doing it for him. It's just part of the routine I learned from my mother. He can always go get more if he wants.

[laPapessaGiovanna]

If anything, some disorders like anorexia are particularly common in women who are exceedingly disciplined.

From the dictionary of Lori's language:

eating disorders: every eating behaviour that doesn't consist of eating in small amounts and strictly organic Lori's approved food; every eating disorder will make people overweight; skinny people don't have eating disorders.

anorexia: not found.

Disclaimer: every time a definition seems a bit contradictory, it's the reader's fault, because the Godly Mentor is always right.

[jerkit]

Every few days, Alyssa toggles between being private and public on IG. What's the deal wth that? What purpose does it serve?

[latraviata]

I serve most of my meals buffet or family style, so I rarely fix anyone's plate.

The last time I did so, I remember I was trying to be "fancy", and took a photo.

I set the table and put the trays of food on the table and everyone serves himself.