Lori Alexander - Still Not Learning A Thing, Part 3

[iweartanktops]

Lori posted this morning titled, "What's Up With All the Cooking and Home Shows" here's an excerpt "Lastly, learn to enjoy being home. After you home is clean and tidy and your nourishing meals are all planned or on the stove; if you have children, play with them and teach them a new art. You can teach your daughters how to sew, how to garden, how to organize, how to paint, etc. There are many options out there! Get outside as much as you can and enjoy God's beautiful creation. Sunshine and fresh air are great for you and can lift your spirits up."

What? Is this the same Lori who hired a nanny and locked her children in their rooms for hours at a time? But she's instructing her readers to play with their kids and teach their DAUGHTERS to sew, garden, paint, organize, etc. because of course boys can't learn these things. Ugh. Also, what's wrong with playing with your children before your home is clean and your meals are planned?

[FundieFarmer]

You know what, Lori? Some days, I do wish I could just sit home all day long and clean, and organize, and cook for MR. FF. I would absolutely paint and sew.

But I don't, because right now Mr. FF and I would rather live on two incomes, and because he's capable of fixing his own plate, so we make it work. Also because I don't want my brain and college degree to atrophy as the only intellectual stimuli in your world would be ads from essential oil catalogs. :roll:

Sheesh. Why can't she say something like "read pieces from the Old Masters" or "study Classics" or, ooh, take a class online! Oh wait...

[2xx1xy1JD]

Lori posted this morning titled, "What's Up With All the Cooking and Home Shows" here's an excerpt "Lastly, learn to enjoy being home. After you home is clean and tidy and your nourishing meals are all planned or on the stove; if you have children, play with them and teach them a new art. You can teach your daughters how to sew, how to garden, how to organize, how to paint, etc. There are many options out there! Get outside as much as you can and enjoy God's beautiful creation. Sunshine and fresh air are great for you and can lift your spirits up."

What? Is this the same Lori who hired a nanny and locked her children in their rooms for hours at a time? But she's instructing her readers to play with their kids and teach their DAUGHTERS to sew, garden, paint, organize, etc. because of course boys can't learn these things. Ugh. Also, what's wrong with playing with your children before your home is clean and your meals are planned?

More of the same.

No, boys can't do these things, because apparently that would upset the natural order of the universe by mixing gender roles, which is clearly Satanic.

In Lori and Ken's universe, there are really only two types of people - men and women - and the strengths and personalities of all men and all women must be fall within those narrow boxes. All men must be strong and manly and fix things and earn a living. All women must secretly want to control their men, and they must limit their interests to activities within the walls of their home.

Now, it's normal for couples to be somewhat complementary. The difference between my world and Lorken's is that many of the things I do better fall within the "man" category, and many of the things that my husband does better fall within the "woman" category. There are also things that neither of us do well, and we recognize that it's legitimate to get paid for what we do well and use the money to outsource some tasks to the pros.

If sewing, painting, gardening or organizing happen to be your thing - enjoy. That's fine. I happen to suck at those skills, and my girls would be doomed if they had to learn those things from me. I have this odd idea that I should contribute to my family and the rest of the world the stuff that I'm good at.

[desertvixen]

The "fix his plate" thing doesn't bother me so much - I generally fix the plates for dinner because a) I'm watching what I eat and portion size b) it's just as easy to fix the other two while I'm at it. I also cook the food, but that's because I'm good at it, not because I'm female. (My fiance also cooks! shocker!)

Has Lori ever written anything that reconciles her total fixation on food control and "healthy ingredients" with the food her favorite family (Duggars) fixes?

[ViolaSebastian]

Lori posted this morning titled, "What's Up With All the Cooking and Home Shows" here's an excerpt "Lastly, learn to enjoy being home. After you home is clean and tidy and your nourishing meals are all planned or on the stove; if you have children, play with them and teach them a new art. You can teach your daughters how to sew, how to garden, how to organize, how to paint, etc. There are many options out there! Get outside as much as you can and enjoy God's beautiful creation. Sunshine and fresh air are great for you and can lift your spirits up."

What? Is this the same Lori who hired a nanny and locked her children in their rooms for hours at a time? But she's instructing her readers to play with their kids and teach their DAUGHTERS to sew, garden, paint, organize, etc. because of course boys can't learn these things. Ugh. Also, what's wrong with playing with your children before your home is clean and your meals are planned?

Isn't this the same woman that wrote this little number?

My mom never played with us. I never played with my children but we all turned out good. My daughter-in-law plays with my grandbabies a lot and they LOVE it!

[polecat]

Well, I don't have daughters (I'm probably less of a woman because of it -- godly women probably populate the world with more godly women, right?) And my sons all know how to cook and clean and paint and garden (and one can even sew and crochet). They're going to make excellent wives/homemakers/helpmeets some day. :roll:

[lilwriter85]

Lori dishes on her public school experiences. I think she is bullshitting on some of the stuff. Also there are mean girls in private schools and sometimes in homeschooling groups too. She links to Voddie at the bottom. I'm willing to bet that tomorrow's post will be about the Oregon shooting.

My education from second grader all the way through high school was in the public school system. This was during the 60s and 70s. Our Principal in our elementary school had a large paddle and used it when needed. Therefore, there wasn't a lot of misbehaving going on. My favorite part of elementary school was lunch, recess and going home. I LOVED tether ball, dodge ball and handball. I played so much I had callouses on my hands! My school had a large grassy area so there was tons of room to run and play. They gave us quite a bit of time outside. I never made any close friends at this school. I was teased a lot for how skinny I was and that I ate such healthy food. In fact, girls would call me on the phone calling me all sorts of names and making me cry. During one difficult time, a boy was sticking his pencil in my private parts until my mom called his mom and told him if he ever touched me again, she'd call the police, so he quit.

Junior High was not too memorable. I still didn't have any close girlfriends during these years. In fact, all through my years in public schools, I never found one godly friend who was being raised in a Christian home and living out Christian values. Our Bible wasn't ever read in my home growing up. We went to a very biblically-weak church all of those years. I felt very alone in my faith and my values but my parents did love Jesus. I was exposed to porn in this junior high. There was a disgusting picture on the ground that the boys had put there because they wanted to watch people's reaction as they walked by. I learned there was something called homosexuality for the first time.

I went to Canyon High School, a huge D-1 school for four years. The bathrooms were filled with mean girls who were smoking so I tried so hard to not have to go to the bathroom at school. Since I wasn't well-versed in the Bible, I have no idea if what I was being taught was unbiblical or not. We were taught evolution but I don't remember if they taught it as fact back then. There were parties I went to for awhile. They weren't fun parties. Everyone was drinking, smoking and fooling around with the opposite sex. I would hold a beer in my hand and pour it in the bushes when no one was looking, just trying to fit in until I heard that one of my 'friends' gossiped, "It's so cool that Lori is coming down to my level." I immediately thought, "No, I'm not!" and I quit going to them. My only good memory of high school was being a cheerleader my junior and senior year. I loved being a cheerleader!

I was teased in high school because I smiled too much. I was called a goody two shoes. My first date at 16 tried to have sex with me so I told him to take me home and he almost crashed on the way home. My mom did tell us to save sex until marriage. One guy, who I had had a crush on for awhile, finally asked me out. He was an hour late and completely drunk. I got into the car anyway and he took me to a party and directly into one of the bedrooms. I sat on the bed and told him to take me home. On the way home, he asked me if I didn't like him drinking and I said no, so he quit. One of my 'friends' from church had sex with her boyfriend in her home and told me all about it. I think most of my 'friends' slept around with their boyfriends and partied, even the ones in my church.

The only thing that kept me close to the Lord through all of this is having parents who consistently took me to church every single Sunday and summer camp every summer. I attended Forest Home Christian Camp all of my years growing up and I was saturated in Jesus during that one week every summer. I always loved Him but I didn't realize what being a Christian full-time really looked like until I went to Westmont College when I was 18 years old. It was there that I learned to spend time in His Word, found amazing godly friends, and heard godly speakers in chapel every day.

I didn't like public school at all but it was all I really knew. I was lonely often since I had no friends with my values, which were rather weak. My mom was my closest friend and ally. I don't remember any teacher having much of an effect on me in a positive way as if they really cared about me. The classrooms were always so large that they didn't have time to really know their students. I felt like a number at these schools, mostly in junior high and high school. I did things that my conscience convicted me about and I knew were wrong so I did have a moral compass but not much support to live a godly life. My parents were raised in a much more innocent time so they had no idea what I was exposed to and I didn't tell them much about the junk. My memories of my growing up years are not fond at all, however, the Lord has restored the years the locusts have eaten. I loved my college years, married an amazing man, was blessed with four wonderful children and the Lord has graciously given me this ministry which I love. For all of these, I am very thankful.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I don't think it's bullshitting, but it might be remembering through Lori-tinted glasses.

She's said before that she didn't have close friends growing up. I can believe that's true. It's not something that's totally uncommon, and it happens to kids in private religious schools too. I can believe that teachers did not respond properly to bullying back then as well - there's much more school awareness and programs to address it today. I do remember her mentioning a good friend from high school cheerleading before, though, and she doesn't mention her here.

Some people blossom in college, where you are no longer with a specific group and you are around different people and can find those who share your interests. My mom had few friends in high school but lots in university - and it was a public university. I hated middle school, but loved going to a huge, public hippie-like high school, which was so big that all the kids who had been left out of middle school cliques could get together and form our own clique.

The 1960s and 1970s in California would have been a time of rapidly changing values re sex and drugs. Things actually swung back to be more conservative in the 1980s, esp. with AIDS.

So yeah, that probably is the way that she remembers it. It's just that you can't actually say "I was miserable because public schools", unless you were magically able to repeat your childhood at a religious school or being homeschooled.

[jerkit]

Look how holy I was my whole life! Look how evil everybody I know was and is! Weak church! Evil evil evil! My childhood was the very worst because Satan!

*eye roll*

[salex]

SO, as miserable as she was, Lori was teased for smiling too much?

OK< I was bullied in 8th grade and freshman year, to the point my parents considered moving me to a different school, and during that time, no one would have accused me of "smiling too much" My situation was different (small town ks, HS graduating class of 24) and things got worked out by about the end of my Freshman year. But it sucked, a lot, on many different levels.

I also call Bullshit on her not knowing any other people in her whole school who went to church or were Christian. Are we to believe that her church (nor any other) had kids in her High School? That she never was part of any activity or club or (gasp) church youth group that had students in her giant HS? I was active in various outside activities (and school activites) and so had friends from other schools and other towns, so was not totally alone. (ie, there were people who met me who did like me.)

Or, could it be that there were other christians but they didn't eat healthy food, or didn't meet Lori's standards of body size or "coolness" so she didn't want to run around with them?

If Lori was a pariah at school, she has my sympathy. I know I still carry a bit of that old baggage from being bullied with me. But I fled smallville, embraced college and found the love of my life (as opposed to some guy to marry, which seems to be Lori's love story) But then, I was never the special snowflake Lori seems to be.

[crawfishgirl]

Bullying is definitely not confined to the public school system. My kids attended a Catholic school for three years, and we finally pulled them out due to the culture of the school. There was a lot of bullying and overall negativity from the students, and the teachers seemed like they hated their jobs. We put them in a public school, and they were much happier. The kids just seemed nicer there. There was much more diversity, both ethnically and economically, and less of a feeling of entitlement. I also think that the education was slightly better. So if Lori really wants to stereotype schools, she needs to do more research and look more closely - it really is dependent on the particular school - there are good ones and bad ones of both types.

[2xx1xy1JD]

SO, as miserable as she was, Lori was teased for smiling too much?

OK< I was bullied in 8th grade and freshman year, to the point my parents considered moving me to a different school, and during that time, no one would have accused me of "smiling too much" My situation was different (small town ks, HS graduating class of 24) and things got worked out by about the end of my Freshman year. But it sucked, a lot, on many different levels.

I also call Bullshit on her not knowing any other people in her whole school who went to church or were Christian. Are we to believe that her church (nor any other) had kids in her High School? That she never was part of any activity or club or (gasp) church youth group that had students in her giant HS? I was active in various outside activities (and school activites) and so had friends from other schools and other towns, so was not totally alone. (ie, there were people who met me who did like me.)

Or, could it be that there were other christians but they didn't eat healthy food, or didn't meet Lori's standards of body size or "coolness" so she didn't want to run around with them?

If Lori was a pariah at school, she has my sympathy. I know I still carry a bit of that old baggage from being bullied with me. But I fled smallville, embraced college and found the love of my life (as opposed to some guy to marry, which seems to be Lori's love story) But then, I was never the special snowflake Lori seems to be.

Lori's own upbringing didn't even meet her current standard for Christians, so it's not surprising that she says she didn't have a Real Christian™ home. She says that her own church was "biblically weak" and that they never read the Bible at home. She's imposing her current view of what a Real Christian[tm][/tm] is onto the past.

I also assume that "biblically weak" is code for "didn't teach the whole wives submitting to husbands thing".

[Hane]

This plate-fixin' thing reminds me of the first meal I cooked for my husband, back in '73, when we were college students and I was a dewy young 20-year-old:

Mr. Hane: "There's no ketchup on the table."

Young Hane (not moving a muscle): "It's in the fridge."

His mom used to wait on him and his dad hand and foot. My mom, not so much.

[Sera's Arrow]

The fact that Lori remembers those things is a tad alarming – she must be able to hold grudges for a very scary long time. I don't remember what people teased me about in elementary school. I do remember that I wanted to go to a public secondary school because of the harassment and crap I got but that never happened and I stopped caring about what people I didn't care for said or thought of me. The only thing that troubles me now about my old high school is more serious than the "you're not coming to my birthday party!" drama of childhood. There was a priest that served as chaplain during my tenure; he also served as the priest of my former church. He was convicted of sexually abusing a 16 year old boy and his sentencing was about to be passed when he hung himself a year ago. Lovely things to know about someone you used to respect and like, yes?

My experiences in public schools have been as an ECE, working in school-age programs or in kindergarten classes. I've noticed that there's vastly more tolerance for differences of all sorts, more inclusion of all - especially in the area of special needs - and more diversity as abovementioned by crawfishgirl.

[ViolaSebastian]

What I can't understand is, if she hated public school as much as she claims, felt like a number, and didn't have any teachers that had a positive effect on her, then why in the holy hell did she decide to become a teacher?

[salex]

What I can't understand is, if she hated public school as much as she claims, felt like a number, and didn't have any teachers that had a positive effect on her, then why in the holy hell did she decide to become a teacher?

Lori strikes me as the type of person who picked teaching because she wanted summers off.

[ViolaSebastian]

Lori strikes me as the type of person who picked teaching because she wanted summers off.

It makes me wonder if Lori was subject to the same career counseling as my grandmother. In my grandmother's case, she was basically given a choice between the two "acceptable" professions for women to have at the time: nurse or teacher. However, this was in the late 1920s, but my understanding is that that line of thinking was still used in the 1970s, when Lori went to college. Who knows, Lori could have been a really good, accomplished...er...something. I dunno. You got me there.

[salex]

In makes me wonder if Lori was subject to the same career counseling as my grandmother. In my grandmother's case, she was basically given a choice between the two "acceptable" professions for women to have at the time: nurse or teacher. However, this was in the late 1920s, but my understanding is that that line of thinking was still used in the 1970s, when Lori went to college. Who knows, Lori could have been a really good, accomplished...er...something. I dunno. You got me there.

Lori and I are roughly the same age, and would have been starting college in the mid 70s. in the previous 10 years, things had opened up a lot, but there were still pockets of resistance by some counselors and some professors (and some families) I"m thinking of the girls/women I ran around with from my dorm. Our majors were Economics, Library Science, Drama, Engineering, Ag, Music and Education. I had been told there was a glut of teachers nation wide, and encouraged not to major in education because of that and because there were more options. That does not mean other girls at that time were not told to be a nurse or a teacher.

[lilwriter85]

What I can't understand is, if she hated public school as much as she claims, felt like a number, and didn't have any teachers that had a positive effect on her, then why in the holy hell did she decide to become a teacher?

I also wonder if Lori originally hoped to get into teaching at private schools. It could have been that she couldn't find work in private schools or didn't like the pay of some private schools. Then she taught in public schools. A family friend of mine started her teaching career in a Catholic school. The starting pay was slightly below public schools in her area. My family friend found out that pay raises were rare at that school. So after two years at the Catholic school, she went to the public system. At times, she looked to different private school teaching jobs.

[Florita]

Lori is taking us on another trip down Nostalgia Lane to remind us that she can hold a grudge like no other. She's dredging up crap that happened 40-50 YEARS ago. She seriously needs to get over it.

Is this suppose to solidify her reputation as a Real Christian™ will never-ever-ever forgive you?

I think being unpopular in HS still haunts Lori so instead of owning her short-comings she proclaims her perfection and blames her social ineptitude on everyone else for being evil. By everyone she means everyone. No one was as good as she. No wonder she was unpopular. :roll:

[FundieFarmer]

Gosh. If high school Lori was anything like her blogs....yikes.

[lilwriter85]

In past posts, Lori mentioned being bossy as a child and having trouble making friends. That could have played into the issues she had in school. She also trashed school friends whose mothers worked in posts. It is possible that Lori was bullied in school and kids didn't give her chances. Or maybe she had a personality that turned off other kids.

[nastyhobbitses]

Lori is taking us on another trip down Nostalgia Lane to remind us that she can hold a grudge like no other. She's dredging up crap that happened 40-50 YEARS ago. She seriously needs to get over it.

Is this suppose to solidify her reputation as a Real Christian™ will never-ever-ever forgive you?

I think being unpopular in HS still haunts Lori so instead of owning her short-comings she proclaims her perfection and blames her social ineptitude on everyone else for being evil. By everyone she means everyone. No one was as good as she. No wonder she was unpopular. :roll:

"If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."

[VodouDoll]

Good thing she remembered to include that her parents loved Jesus (though she does get in a couple digs at their faith) because otherwise Aunt Ginny would've read her to filth again.

[polecat]

I'm sort of boggled at Lori's having been sexually abused/assaulted ... while still remaining so callous towards other victims of sexual abuse.

I've observed in the past that those who have not yet dealt with past traumas are likely to be harsher towards others suffering similar experiences. "I got over it! So should you!" seems to be a common sentiment. But they didn't really "get over it." They just sort of stuffed it down.