Bates Family - Part 4

[Georgiana]

Which, IMO, tells me that even though his blood type is Kool-Aid Positive and he has a bit of a Frat Boy Douche air about him, Lawson is still a compassionate, responsible person who's loyal to his family. It sucks that he was put in such a position that he felt he had to financially support his sister, but it still shows a good amount of integrity and loyalty that he did it.

I always feel like Lawson gets a bad rap here.  Yes, he's gallivanting around and is sort of an asshat at times, but he's also 23.  A LOT of my friends who are now kind, intelligent, respectful, mature men were regular douche-canoes in their early 20's.  I feel like girls tend to hit a very "trying age" in their teens, but for a lot of guys, they're more awkward as teens and then really hit their "trying age" in their late teens/early 20s.  So it doesn't seem to me to be any black mark on his character that he has a macho attitude right now.  There's a good chance he'll grow out of it.

And yes, he seems to be on perpetual vacation, which is not something that bodes well for most 23 year olds.  But I'll give Lawson a pass here too, because he worked WAY harder than any teen or young adult I know up until very recently.  Most of us spend out teens and college years living a not entirely real life.  You don't have adult burdens yet, so you can spend much more of your time having fun, going out, and travelling whereas once you have bills to pay, that gets much harder.  Lawson was forced to shoulder part of an adult financial burden at a very young age, so he never got that time when it was socially age-appropriate.  Now, for the first time probably in his life, he's been repaid the money he loaned to his family AND he can spend the money on himself instead of having to worry about helping pay the family bills.  Sure, this behavior would be more appropriate on a 19-20 year old, but Lawson was supporting a family at that time.  

Does Lawson need to grow up?  You betcha. But he's really only a couple years behind, and the reason he's behind is because of his parents' terrible choices. If you remember Zach at this age (during the Sarah Reith courtship special), he was sort of a dick as well.  But he matured, and I'm sure Lawson will as well.  

[lizzybee]

Found it!

Highlights:

Headphones/earphones are not allowed

If you have to get elective/non-emergency surgery, you have to run it by the school first

No jazz, country, CCM, rock, rap, or R&B music

No TV or movies (including off campus)

No ordering food from outside restaurants (because unholy pizza causes unholy thoughts or something?)

Martial arts are prohibited because they'll turn you into a Daoist or some shit

Athletic fields are gender segregated

Protesting is not allowed at all

No backwards baseball caps - so now we know why Ben Seewald couldn't go there!

My husband was friends with a girl who briefly went to PCC. When he was telling me about her experiences there I didn't believe it him at all that such a crazy controlling place existed. This was pre our understanding (and personal fundie odyssey) of all things "fundie." It wasn't until later that we figured out what the deal with that friend was (she was always doing seemingly odd things at the time like changing out of her skirts into pants in her car, etc) that she was "Breaking fundie." 

Then again FJ has only furthered my education - like that thread I was reading about women making the "Godly choice" to allow her husband to use corporal punishment and how much better it made them both feel. I may never recover from that. 

[elliha]

As controlling as PCC is, it is probably still less restrictive than being isolated and homeschooled. I mean, if your only teacher is your mother then having access to multiple professors will mean that you at least get input from several people and while they might have similar views they will not have absolutely identical views. As small as the scene might seem if you have been to public school and are used to being taught by more than one person this can be a big eye opener.

[MissBitters]

I can't remember if it was on one their shows or on their blog, but Kelly mentioned that Erin had paid him back for the money she borrowed. I don't see anything wrong with her asking for financial help from him (especially for her education) as long as she was willing to pay him back. Who knows if Gil and Kelly have done the same, though.

[Charliemae]

Probably everyone else noticed this already, but I noticed just now-- Alyssa isn't included in the family photo  backdrop of the BUB  twitter: https://twitter.com/BringingUpBates --even though Brandon is.

I guess she leaved and cleaved!! 

I am really hung up on this for some reason.  At first, and still most likely,  thought it was because she is the only one out of state.  But, the whole picture is photo shopped to hell.  Why couldn't they add her in, she didn't have to be there to get a picture that could be spliced onto this one.  I can't stop wondering who made the choice to leave her out of the header.  Her family? His? The Up Network? I Can't explain why, but this is really bothering me.   

[princessmahina]

That is a really strange picture. They should have swapped Trace (I think that's him?) and Chad. It looks awkward to have Chad reaching across his brother in law like that. From what I've seen, Alyssa doesn't seem thrilled about the show. I can see her opting out.

[Lewy]

I always feel like Lawson gets a bad rap here.  Yes, he's gallivanting around and is sort of an asshat at times, but he's also 23.  A LOT of my friends who are now kind, intelligent, respectful, mature men were regular douche-canoes in their early 20's.  I feel like girls tend to hit a very "trying age" in their teens, but for a lot of guys, they're more awkward as teens and then really hit their "trying age" in their late teens/early 20s.  So it doesn't seem to me to be any black mark on his character that he has a macho attitude right now.  There's a good chance he'll grow out of it.

And yes, he seems to be on perpetual vacation, which is not something that bodes well for most 23 year olds.  But I'll give Lawson a pass here too, because he worked WAY harder than any teen or young adult I know up until very recently.  Most of us spend out teens and college years living a not entirely real life.  You don't have adult burdens yet, so you can spend much more of your time having fun, going out, and travelling whereas once you have bills to pay, that gets much harder.  Lawson was forced to shoulder part of an adult financial burden at a very young age, so he never got that time when it was socially age-appropriate.  Now, for the first time probably in his life, he's been repaid the money he loaned to his family AND he can spend the money on himself instead of having to worry about helping pay the family bills.  Sure, this behavior would be more appropriate on a 19-20 year old, but Lawson was supporting a family at that time.  

Does Lawson need to grow up?  You betcha. But he's really only a couple years behind, and the reason he's behind is because of his parents' terrible choices. If you remember Zach at this age (during the Sarah Reith courtship special), he was sort of a dick as well.  But he matured, and I'm sure Lawson will as well.  

I have to agree with you here. 

Setting aside the toxic fundie beliefs for a moment, I don't think Lawson is any worse than other guys who are at that 'frat boy' age. Sure, he seems a little arrogant and obnoxious and trying at times, but honestly, most boys are at that age. I'm 26 and my male friends are sort of just starting to 'grow out' of that stage as a result of finishing grad school and getting jobs and more responsibilities etc. I actually don't think his social media account is that bad either. Everyone 'shows off' to an extent on instagram and Lawson's account seems pretty normal for a guy in his early 20s, just with the differences you'd expect from someone in a huge family/on tv with a singing 'career'. 

I will say that Lawson does seem to be a very loving sibling (sure, these Fundie families sort of really only only have each other as friends, but he actually seems to genuinely enjoy hanging out with Carlin/Josie/Katie as well as Nathan and Trace and he takes an interest in the younger kids and his nephews/niece. He is also very supportive of Erin and her music) and for the child of Gil-The-Grifter, he actually seems to have a decent work ethic given that he was earning enough money to help out Erin. 

I don't think he's any 'worse' than most boys in their 20s. They're all a little obnoxious at that age. Most of them grow up. I think Lawson will fine.

[nastyhobbitses]

I have to agree with you here. 

Setting aside the toxic fundie beliefs for a moment, I don't think Lawson is any worse than other guys who are at that 'frat boy' age. Sure, he seems a little arrogant and obnoxious and trying at times, but honestly, most boys are at that age. I'm 26 and my male friends are sort of just starting to 'grow out' of that stage as a result of finishing grad school and getting jobs and more responsibilities etc. I actually don't think his social media account is that bad either. Everyone 'shows off' to an extent on instagram and Lawson's account seems pretty normal for a guy in his early 20s, just with the differences you'd expect from someone in a huge family/on tv with a singing 'career'. 

I will say that Lawson does seem to be a very loving sibling (sure, these Fundie families sort of really only only have each other as friends, but he actually seems to genuinely enjoy hanging out with Carlin/Josie/Katie as well as Nathan and Trace and he takes an interest in the younger kids and his nephews/niece. He is also very supportive of Erin and her music) and for the child of Gil-The-Grifter, he actually seems to have a decent work ethic given that he was earning enough money to help out Erin. 

I don't think he's any 'worse' than most boys in their 20s. They're all a little obnoxious at that age. Most of them grow up. I think Lawson will fine.

This. He's certainly more mature and genuine than Ben Seewald, certainly has a better work ethic than Derick Dillard, and seems to be much more active in the upbringing of his siblings than any of the Duggar brothers in the J'slave age group seem to be. Lawson might be a homeschool frat boy, but I'd take a bit of frat boy obnoxiousness over laziness and irresponsibility any day.

[Lewy]

This. He's certainly more mature and genuine than Ben Seewald, certainly has a better work ethic than Derick Dillard, and seems to be much more active in the upbringing of his siblings than any of the Duggar brothers in the J'slave age group seem to be. Lawson might be a homeschool frat boy, but I'd take a bit of frat boy obnoxiousness over laziness and irresponsibility any day.

It's much easier to outgrow 'frat boy' than it is to outgrow 'lazy and irresponsible'. Frat Boys grow up. Lazy and Irresponsible people are still lazy and irresponsible at 50. 

For all his flaws, Lawson doesn't seem lazy, or at least no more lazy than most people his age (a lot of 20 somethings are underemployed these days due to the economy). 

It's also important to remember that most people's instagrams don't really show them 'working' either. Instagram is where you upload pictures of 'good times' not the 'day to day grind'. I'm much more likely to upload a picture of my new handbag or an evening out with my friends than a picture of the huge pile of notes I'm last minute cramming into my brain during an all nighter because I have an exam the next day.

[Nikedagain?]

My son is 23 and pretty much knows everything. He is much more obnoxious than he was in high school. He did graduate from a fairly prominent southern University and he was in a fraternity (never allowed to call them frats....). Excessive douchebaggery. I love him. He's just not terribly "likeable" these days. 

[Charliemae]

That is a really strange picture. They should have swapped Trace (I think that's him?) and Chad. It looks awkward to have Chad reaching across his brother in law like that. From what I've seen, Alyssa doesn't seem thrilled about the show. I can see her opting out.

What's bothering me about Alyssa missing, I finally figured it out, is that Michael and Brandon are in the picture.  They have also moved out of state.  I do think it's possible that Alyssa has opted out of season 3.  It will be interesting to see if she shows up or not. 

 

Here's how I think this picture came to be:

 

" Alright guys we are working on the Bates Season 3 header.  Beach! Play! Road trip! Sport! Picnic!These are words! 

Gil should be waving,wait that looks dumb, but lets add something to his hand.  Sunglasses! They are at the beach! no wait, keys, it's a road trip, yup that's it.  And I don't like how Kelly's arm looks, let's stick a basket tehre.  And let's have those sporty older boys playing baseball T and L, yeah that's great.  except now that I see that I want them to be on opposite ends on the back so it looks like they aren't playing baseball at all, just holding baseball stuff.  Hey I know let's stick one of them between this cute couple.  Yeah that's better. Now let's have one of the girls pretend to hula hoop, no worries we'll add the hoop in later, and the other one should be throwing a ball!  Yes! okay now let's cram those two pictures together so they couldn't possibly actually be moving.  It's okay if the hula hoops are in a physically impossible space, it looks better that way. FUN! Now let's stick some googles on one of the boys heads... BEACH! and he'll be holding a giant fish, because BEACH! and let's have him lift his leg so when we add these pictures together he caqn straddle his sisters head.  

Also let's put all of the couples together on the left.  Yup that's great now you can really tell who is together and who's kids are whose.  But let's make sure that engaged girl is holding one of her siblings, so you can't tell she doesn't have a kid yet. and let's add this other little boy here, great.  We already stuck Trace over here, not worth moving him... Perfect! Beach Fun Trip Road Family Action sport! We did it team!" 

[19 cats and counting]

What's bothering me about Alyssa missing, I finally figured it out, is that Michael and Brandon are in the picture.  They have also moved out of state.  I do think it's possible that Alyssa has opted out of season 3.  It will be interesting to see if she shows up or not. 

 

Here's how I think this picture came to be:

 

" Alright guys we are working on the Bates Season 3 header.  Beach! Play! Road trip! Sport! Picnic!These are words! 

Gil should be waving,wait that looks dumb, but lets add something to his hand.  Sunglasses! They are at the beach! no wait, keys, it's a road trip, yup that's it.  And I don't like how Kelly's arm looks, let's stick a basket tehre.  And let's have those sporty older boys playing baseball T and L, yeah that's great.  except now that I see that I want them to be on opposite ends on the back so it looks like they aren't playing baseball at all, just holding baseball stuff.  Hey I know let's stick one of them between this cute couple.  Yeah that's better. Now let's have one of the girls pretend to hula hoop, no worries we'll add the hoop in later, and the other one should be throwing a ball!  Yes! okay now let's cram those two pictures together so they couldn't possibly actually be moving.  It's okay if the hula hoops are in a physically impossible space, it looks better that way. FUN! Now let's stick some googles on one of the boys heads... BEACH! and he'll be holding a giant fish, because BEACH! and let's have him lift his leg so when we add these pictures together he caqn straddle his sisters head.  

Also let's put all of the couples together on the left.  Yup that's great now you can really tell who is together and who's kids are whose.  But let's make sure that engaged girl is holding one of her siblings, so you can't tell she doesn't have a kid yet. and let's add this other little boy here, great.  We already stuck Trace over here, not worth moving him... Perfect! Beach Fun Trip Road Family Action sport! We did it team!" 

I think that was the header for season 2.  Erin's still pregnant there, and since season 2 was over the summer the theme makes sense. 

[Jigsaw3]

Instagram suggests that they're all in Tennessee this weekend, probably for an early family Thanksgiving, and that they're having another family photoshoot. This time round the theme is farm/cowboy and the colours are maroon/denim/white. I suspect this will replace the summer photo without Alyssa.

[Charliemae]

I think that was the header for season 2.  Erin's still pregnant there, and since season 2 was over the summer the theme makes sense. 

Which theme? ;-)  You wont convince me that this is a cohesive header, it's a mess and it makes me laugh. 

Season 2 makes so much more sense.  I don't know why I thought it was season 3, probably because we haven't seen that one yet.  It still seems odd that Alyssa was left out, I don't buy that it was because she was in Florida. But she was on the show plenty last season.  *shrug*  

[19 cats and counting]

I've honestly only seen clips of the show because I cut the cord last year.  And it looks like UP thinks that Netflix is too mainstream for them to put their content on.  

Well the Bates family Wiki redirects you to the Duggar family page now (who knows why) so I'm not sure exact premiere dates for season 1 and 2.  

But digging through their Instagram, I can see this pic as a potential header

https://instagram.com/p/63l5GjMbsj/?taken-by=thebatesfam (taken around the time of Michael's wedding when the family was together).

The summer themed pic was posted 20 weeks ago on their Instagram

https://instagram.com/p/4Xs5MbsblJ/?taken-by=thebatesfam 

https://instagram.com/p/3hbZtjsbsv/?taken-by=thebatesfam (23 weeks ago)

[boxedin]

What's bothering me about Alyssa missing, I finally figured it out, is that Michael and Brandon are in the picture.  They have also moved out of state.  I do think it's possible that Alyssa has opted out of season 3.  It will be interesting to see if she shows up 

They have to have Michael and.Brandon, because the highlight of the season will be the wedding. I wonder if Alyssa and John actually wanted to be paid for appearing on the show. J/k

[Granwych]

I don't know if he paid for it in full, but he did give her money to attend. I think it was a loan and she needed to repay him, but I'm not sure about that.

But yeah. Her parents didn't have the money, so Lawson paid instead. Which is really nice, but he shouldn't have had to do that. Not his responsibility - just like buying groceries so his younger siblings could eat wasn't his responsibility either. Very nice and compassionate to do so, but he should never have been put into that position in the first place.

When my cheating stepfather was working out of state( and never sending much home since he was supporting his (married) girlfriend), I contributed a lot to my mother and sisters.  Never got any $$ back, but I wasn't looking for it.

[HereticHick]

Instagram suggests that they're all in Tennessee this weekend, probably for an early family Thanksgiving, and that they're having another family photoshoot. This time round the theme is farm/cowboy and the colours are maroon/denim/white. I suspect this will replace the summer photo without Alyssa.

Alyssa posted one of the photoshoot pics--I swear it looks like she's wearing a black leather skirt or pants.Go on with your bad self Alyssa

r

 

[Toothfairy]

Pcc is horrible.  It's just like Gothard,  but at least it's something.  The stories from former students are sad. I read about a girl who was raped, tied down and duct taped, a security officer found her and these fools have the nerve to blame her.  Apparently she wasn't being godly or modest enough and that caused the guy who raped her to lust after her. 

 

And can you believe these fools think kids can get real jobs?

[jqlgoblue]

When my cheating stepfather was working out of state( and never sending much home since he was supporting his (married) girlfriend), I contributed a lot to my mother and sisters.  Never got any $$ back, but I wasn't looking for it.

My mother's siblings occasionally asked for loans, and in a few cases she gave them money. She didn't want to give loans b/c she knew she'd never be paid back. Psychologically it was just easier to give a gift.

More related to Lawson, in HS one of my uncles once borrowed $500 from my cousin. Instead of paying her back he bought her an $800 car w/o asking. She was so mad. I think it felt like a violation b/c it was her money and she would have preferred to be paid back and then found the car she needed herself. I'm pretty sure my uncle thought he was paying her back with interest and didn't see why she'd be upset though. 

It's a funny and fraught thing, families and money.

[actuallyjessica]

[imokit]

well if allyssa is hastagging uptv, she obviously hasn't opted out of the upcoming season.

[HereticHick]

Yes. Penocola Christian college.  They were on campus. A girl said they were in her class. I don't even know what bate girls were on campus, I can't keep up with names but apparently they were there.

I just noticed that Jason Hartono, who attends PCC,  posted a pic:

In his comments, he said Mrs. Bates & 4 Bates females were visiting.  [the other girl in the pic is his sister Jenny Hartono]

[singsingsing]

Bates/Hartono courtship? Let the speculation commence! 

[16strong]

I like how un-Bates-like Carlin is dressing. The short skirt in the group photo, and the v-neck pink top with Alyssa and John. I think she'll dress even less "modestly" than Alyssa once she's out of the house. I can see her eventually choosing to wear shorts.