Bates Family - Part 3

[formergothardite]

Kelli has a new Instagram post of the little Bates piled all around her while she read them a secular children's book.

When the Bates want to post a "look, we are better than the Duggars" pic, sometimes they really hit it out of the park.

My question--how calculated do you think these type of postings are (by the Bates or the UP channel, or both?), or do you really think they are totally spontaneous?

I'm curious about how much conscious thought goes into the Bates social media prescence, and is it changing the longer they stay on TV?

As for Chad, I'd hit it.

[Edit because of coffee deficit]

I think it is all very calculated. I think that since Gil and Kelly are better educated and just seem to be smarter than Michelle and Jim Bob they were naturally going to do things like encourage reading more than the Duggars, but I think that they are very much wanting to distance themselves from the crazy image that was the Duggar circus. But in real life they are deeper into that cult than the Duggars ever were. They just know how to put on a good show, while the Duggars never could hide the insanity.

[VelociRapture]

Kelli has a new Instagram post of the little Bates piled all around her while she read them a secular children's book.

When the Bates want to post a "look, we are better than the Duggars" pic, sometimes they really hit it out of the park.

My question--how calculated do you think these type of postings are (by the Bates or the UP channel, or both?), or do you really think they are totally spontaneous?

I'm curious about how much conscious thought goes into the Bates social media prescence, and is it changing the longer they stay on TV?

As for Chad, I'd hit it.

[Edit because of coffee deficit]

I wouldn't be surprised if they are quite careful about what they post on social media - not just Gil and Kelly, but all of the Bates kids as well. They've had more than enough time to watch and learn from the Duggars. You don't see the Websters, Paines, or Bates couples posting constantly about abortion and the Holocaust - its mostly pretty harmless photos of various family members, especially the babies.

That isn't to say that the pictures are all completely staged. I wouldn't be surprised if they do have a good amount of genuine moments like that picture you mentioned - I just think they're quite careful in how they approach social media because they've seen how often the Duggars fail at it completely.

[nolongerIFBx]

When I was a kid we weren't allowed to play with actual playing cards (like with hearts, spades, etc.), but we could play "go fish" and "uno".

In my family we were also allowed to use Uno and Go Fish, but not playing cards. However, I know when my oldest sibling and his spouse were in college, they weren't to use any type of cards and they weren't even allowed to use the dice in board games. All games had to be played with a spinner instead.

[Snarkle]

I was thinking last night about how through this thread it was brought up several times how Chad does so much for the Bates family (handyman-wise). If he and Erin didn't live so close to her family, the other Bateseses would have to deal with more (in the first season they even showed Chad over at the house cutting hair). It's another example of how Chad cares for Erin that he was willing to live where she is from.

In regard to Michael, there is an exclusive clip on the UPTV website of Brandon saying how the other Bates kids said he and Michael should settle in Tennessee, but that he's been "serving at a ministry in Chicago" working for the IBLP mothership and therefore they'll live in Chicago for now. Brandon says, "I'm taking her with me." and Michael adds, "I'm willingly going!" While they'll be living near the Wallers and the rest of the hard-core IBLP crowd, at least Michael will be away from her family and their needs and (hopefully) successfully leaving and cleaving like Alyssa has. As the nearly-oldest and the one who helped raise most of her younger siblings as well as being a nanny, it will be a transition for her to be responsible to/for just her husband (and future children).

Another question - do the Bates kids have buddies like the Duggars? They don't mention it on the UPTV shows, but I didn't watch their TLC show so I wasn't sure if it was discussed then.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

As far as snarking on the pink room...I don't really give a flying fundie what color anybody's room is; I didn't then, and I don't know. More power to him. I can tell you that Mr. FF wouldn't be about it, but it's a matter of personal preference- which is essentially what I said when the discussion came up last time. I don't recall there ever being a tone of "wellllllll maybe he's not so into Erin if he put up with that!". In fact, I remember a tone that was almost completely praise that he would be willing to put aside any personal preferences he may have had in order for Erin to have what she wanted since she never had, which is a decidedly un-Fundie thing to do.

And that, right there, is why we see Chad differently than TFDW & Co. Example, Ken Alexander and his "Lori shall stand until it hurts" theology. David Waller and his "all women are beneath me forever" philosophy. PP and, well, all of his PP-ness. Those men don't display the strong, loving characteristics that I see in Chad, regardless of room color, and they certainly don't remind me of each other.

This. I haven't fallen down the rabbit holes of Ken and PP, but David Waller is no wimp in my eyes. He's a fucking bully.

I really hope the disdain and condescension he shows to her publicly is as bad as it gets, but that would be more than enough if Priscilla was my sister for me to be staging interventions. There is this coldness he projects that I find way scarier (emotionally) even than people who are more verbally volatile. Can't explain it but this guy creeps me out in a way that Jim Bob or Gil never could.

[formergothardite]

I was thinking last night about how through this thread it was brought up several times how Chad does so much for the Bates family (handyman-wise). If he and Erin didn't live so close to her family, the other Bateseses would have to deal with more (in the first season they even showed Chad over at the house cutting hair). It's another example of how Chad cares for Erin that he was willing to live where she is from.

In regard to Michael, there is an exclusive clip on the UPTV website of Brandon saying how the other Bates kids said he and Michael should settle in Tennessee, but that he's been "serving at a ministry in Chicago" working for the IBLP mothership and therefore they'll live in Chicago for now. Brandon says, "I'm taking her with me." and Michael adds, "I'm willingly going!" While they'll be living near the Wallers and the rest of the hard-core IBLP crowd, at least Michael will be away from her family and their needs and (hopefully) successfully leaving and cleaving like Alyssa has. As the nearly-oldest and the one who helped raise most of her younger siblings as well as being a nanny, it will be a transition for her to be responsible to/for just her husband (and future children).

Another question - do the Bates kids have buddies like the Duggars? They don't mention it on the UPTV shows, but I didn't watch their TLC show so I wasn't sure if it was discussed then.

In their original blog(I can't find many of those posts anymore) Kelly talks about how she assigns her babies an older sibling as a "partner" before they are even born. She listed what the "partners" do and it was just exactly what Michelle listed for the buddy system. I'm sure they are just smart enough to not show it on television and downplay it on their current blog because they know it is something that the Duggar parents get criticized for.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

I was thinking last night about how through this thread it was brought up several times how Chad does so much for the Bates family (handyman-wise). If he and Erin didn't live so close to her family, the other Bateseses would have to deal with more (in the first season they even showed Chad over at the house cutting hair). It's another example of how Chad cares for Erin that he was willing to live where she is from.

In regard to Michael, there is an exclusive clip on the UPTV website of Brandon saying how the other Bates kids said he and Michael should settle in Tennessee, but that he's been "serving at a ministry in Chicago" working for the IBLP mothership and therefore they'll live in Chicago for now. Brandon says, "I'm taking her with me." and Michael adds, "I'm willingly going!" While they'll be living near the Wallers and the rest of the hard-core IBLP crowd, at least Michael will be away from her family and their needs and (hopefully) successfully leaving and cleaving like Alyssa has. As the nearly-oldest and the one who helped raise most of her younger siblings as well as being a nanny, it will be a transition for her to be responsible to/for just her husband (and future children).

Another question - do the Bates kids have buddies like the Duggars? They don't mention it on the UPTV shows, but I didn't watch their TLC show so I wasn't sure if it was discussed then.

I live in a nearby suburb to their headquarters and I have a couple of questions about the bolded that have been making my brain itchy for years so maybe someone can enlighten me:

1. This isn't an actual church, right? Just a for members only thing? Because I have lived in one of the southwest burbs for over a decade now, and previously the northern burbs and no one I know irl has ever heard of these people.

1. Fellow Chicagoarea jingerites - are they the ones responsible for the billboards that tell me I'm going to hell whenever I take the Stevenson? Because they shoudln't be posting that lust will send ones to the fires of hell if they want to reach people sitting in gridlock...the deadly sin you want there is anger because that's the pervading emotion on during rush hour.

1. It's an odd choice to headquarter here, does anyone know why they chose a metro burb with pricey real estate rather than some where more remote where they could get a lot more for the money and keep the worldly heathens at bay? We're kind of all over here with our pants wearing, children educating ways.

While we aren't SF, DC, or NYC when it comes to housing prices real estate is definitely not inexpensive especially for the size homes they'd need once they really got to loading their quivers. Seems like they'd want a place with a lower COL for their HQ staff so they can live more comfortably on one income with a bazillion babies. It will certainly be a major culture change for Michael Bates.

[formergothardite]

I live in a nearby suburb to their headquarters and I have a couple of questions about the bolded that have been making my brain itchy for years so maybe someone can enlighten me:

1. This isn't an actual church, right? Just a for members only thing? Because I have lived in one of the southwest burbs for over a decade now, and previously the northern burbs and no one I know irl has ever heard of these people.

1. Fellow Chicagoarea jingerites - are they the ones responsible for the billboards that tell me I'm going to hell whenever I take the Stevenson? Because they shoudln't be posting that lust will send ones to the fires of hell if they want to reach people sitting in gridlock...the deadly sin you want there is anger because that's the pervading emotion on during rush hour.

1. It's an odd choice to headquarter here, does anyone know why they chose a metro burb with pricey real estate rather than some where more remote where they could get a lot more for the money and keep the worldly heathens at bay? We're kind of all over here with our pants wearing, children educating ways.

While we aren't SF, DC, or NYC when it comes to housing prices real estate is definitely not inexpensive especially for the size homes they'd need once they really got to loading their quivers. Seems like they'd want a place with a lower COL for their HQ staff so they can live more comfortably on one income with a bazillion babies. It will certainly be a major culture change for Michael Bates.

* IBLP isn't a church and I'm not surprised most people haven't heard of them. Bill has seemed to like to keep it that way.

*I don't know for sure, but I doubt they do those billboards. It just isn't a Gothard sort of thing. If he was doing it it would be steps for handling stress or some shit like that.

*I don't really know the history of how he got the Chicago location, but at one point IBLP was rolling in money and Gothard had this grand idea that he would be visited by world leaders. Gothard had property all over the world, from Russia to Australia during the 90's. He has had to sell off a lot of it, but I bet he is going to keep the Chicago one as long as possible. I don't know how much Gothard pays, but the devoted workers do seem to live okay.

[singsingsing]

I'm not getting into this argument, but seriously, people, some of this is verging on Chad worship. :lol: Um, can I just take a moment to throw out a reminder that while Chad Paine is attractive and seems like an awfully nice guy, **he remains an ATI fundamentalist**?

[FundieFarmer]

I'm not getting into this argument, but seriously, people, some of this is verging on Chad worship. :lol: Um, can I just take a moment to throw out a reminder that while Chad Paine is attractive and seems like an awfully nice guy, **he remains an ATI fundamentalist**?

Agreed. I guess I'd say he's the best of the worst in that bunch.

[formergothardite]

Agreed. I guess I'd say he's the best of the worst in that bunch.

For sure. I'm sure when it comes to beliefs he is probably just as bad as the rest, but what I was protesting was the idea that he was a wimp or not a strong man because he has some characteristics some view as feminine and he let Erin paint the room pink.

[nokidsmom]

Agreed. I guess I'd say he's the best of the worst in that bunch.

Another thing to remember is that Gil would have never let Chad court and marry Erin if he didn't have his ATI connections. If he was just some regular conservative Christian guy who met Erin at a place like Sonic, that never would have flown.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

I'm not getting into this argument, but seriously, people, some of this is verging on Chad worship. :lol: Um, can I just take a moment to throw out a reminder that while Chad Paine is attractive and seems like an awfully nice guy, **he remains an ATI fundamentalist**?

ITA - I wouldn't want anyone with his beliefs near my daughter, it's just the behavior being discussed was unrelated to that and kind of painted all guys who aren't actively beating their chests with the same broad brush.

Their beliefs are damaging, even more so because they seem to filter everything through them. But every once in a while there are flashes of real people behind the facade and that's interesting to me. Chad just wanting Erin to be happy and give her a fantasy bedroom was cute and fell into that category to me. Like Jim Bob's face when the call had to be made to get Josie early to save Michelle. For a second or two he wasn't just a fundy patriarch or ignorant blowhard...he was a guy who loved his wife and would do whatever it took to save her.

From the beginning I've always had the feeling that the religion deal was all Michelle and he jumped on board as a gimmick for his political career and later money...if I had to put money on it I'd bet Jim Bob believes, but doesn't believe. Gothard isn't his cult leader, he's was his connection to the lucrative lecture circuit. But at that moment? I think that guy prayed from the core of his being for the safety of his wife and it was genuine. Besides being a total jackass and charlatan he's also a just a guy who loves his wife.

Ditto with Chad - acknowledging the good doesn't give a pass on the rest, but it's nice to see it exists. At least for me.

[Snarkylark]

For sure. I'm sure when it comes to beliefs he is probably just as bad as the rest, but what I was protesting was the idea that he was a wimp or not a strong man because he has some characteristics some view as feminine and he let Erin paint the room pink.

I never said he was less of a man. I just thought that he seems kind of wimpy (maybe more feminine acting, idk) and I never said that was a bad thing or men shouldn't act that way, just that it doesn't do anything for ME. You can't see the difference?

[Snarkylark]

I'm not trying to perpetuate any stereotypes or say how men should act. Just my opinion on why I'm not attracted to him the way some of you seem to be;)

[OkToBeTakei]

I never said he was less of a man. I just thought that he seems kind of wimpy (maybe more feminine acting, idk) and I never said that was a bad thing or men shouldn't act that way, just that it doesn't do anything for ME. You can't see the difference?

Every 'wimpy' guy in the world is doing the fucking happy dance YOU are not attracted to them. They are right beside the gays, and the vaccinated Pharrell dancing.. A great big happy dance 8-)

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

Sigh. Snarkylark, after the entrance you had here it is going to be forever before you can say anything a little off without having us jump all over you. I don't know that your comment necessarily deserved quite so much attention *this* time, but you do seem to put your foot in your mouth rather often.

Chad has a fairly large number of leg-humpers here on FJ, so we're bound to feel defensive of him ;-). I happen to think that Chad is hot and that he and Erin are adorable. (Our oldest says my husband and I are like an "old" version of Chad and Erin â¤ï¸, which doesn't hurt my love for them lol.) The one thing that turns me off about Chad is his voice. I think the Bates girls have all so far chosen very soft-spoken men, which is likely coincidental, but still interesting to me. However, Chad's voice in particular is too feminine-sounding for my taste. I prefer a deep voice. But it's not as though he can help that, and it doesn't make him wimpy or lesser.

[Firiel]

Sigh. Snarkylark, after the entrance you had here it is going to be forever before you can say anything a little off without having us jump all over you. I don't know that your comment necessarily deserved quite so much attention *this* time, but you do seem to put your foot in your mouth rather often.

Chad has a fairly large number of leg-humpers here on FJ, so we're bound to feel defensive of him ;-). I happen to think that Chad is hot and that he and Erin are adorable. (Our oldest says my husband and I are like an "old" version of Chad and Erin â¤ï¸, which doesn't hurt my love for them lol.) The one thing that turns me off about Chad is his voice. I think the Bates girls have all so far chosen very soft-spoken men, which is likely coincidental, but still interesting to me. However, Chad's voice in particular is too feminine-sounding for my taste. I prefer a deep voice. But it's not as though he can help that, and it doesn't make him wimpy or lesser.

^ And that's how to say that something about a person isn't attractive to you without coming off as someone promoting gender stereotypes.

[Ali]

I'm not trying to perpetuate any stereotypes or say how men should act. Just my opinion on why I'm not attracted to him the way some of you seem to be;)

If you had just said he is not my type or I personally do not find him attractive, there would not have been an issue. The problem was you said he was a wimp and failed to back it up with evidence.

I would really recommend letting it go.

[nokidsmom]

I live in a nearby suburb to their headquarters and I have a couple of questions about the bolded that have been making my brain itchy for years so maybe someone can enlighten me:

1. This isn't an actual church, right? Just a for members only thing? Because I have lived in one of the southwest burbs for over a decade now, and previously the northern burbs and no one I know irl has ever heard of these people.

1. Fellow Chicagoarea jingerites - are they the ones responsible for the billboards that tell me I'm going to hell whenever I take the Stevenson? Because they shoudln't be posting that lust will send ones to the fires of hell if they want to reach people sitting in gridlock...the deadly sin you want there is anger because that's the pervading emotion on during rush hour.

1. It's an odd choice to headquarter here, does anyone know why they chose a metro burb with pricey real estate rather than some where more remote where they could get a lot more for the money and keep the worldly heathens at bay? We're kind of all over here with our pants wearing, children educating ways.

While we aren't SF, DC, or NYC when it comes to housing prices real estate is definitely not inexpensive especially for the size homes they'd need once they really got to loading their quivers. Seems like they'd want a place with a lower COL for their HQ staff so they can live more comfortably on one income with a bazillion babies. It will certainly be a major culture change for Michael Bates.

Chicago-area jingerite chiming in on some answers to your questions.

No. 1, I have lived in the southwest, west, northwestern and now far north suburbs and never heard of them either until I came to FJ. And while living in the western burbs I frequently drove past their campus and wondered what was in there. The campus was very similar to an office complex down the street so I thought it was just a very nice place for companies to have an office. Didn't know that it was this religious organization. One interesting tidbit: Mr. No worked in print shop as a stop gap job while we were in the western suburbs. When I mentioned ATI and IBLP to him, he said "oh yeah, we did some print jobs for them".

No. 2. Haven't been down the Stevenson east of I-355 but somehow I don't think that it's them though they seem to be a bit low key being that many of us mainstream folks living in the area didn't really know about them. I could be wrong though.

No. 3. I was surprised too that they set themselves up in such a pricey area abounding with heathens everywhere but it's near Gothard's home so I assume that is the main reason. Proximity to two main airports for travel could be another.

As far as whether HQ personnel can afford to live in the area with their potentially large families, it's been speculated that the likes of Pecan Thief might be living in there rent free as part of compensation. No way to know for sure but I often wondered myself how they expect folks who have or are going to have large families to make it on one income with such a high COL. As PT and his family don't seem to be hurting for money, housing as a benefit would make a big difference.

Agree that coming to Chicago could be a bit of a culture shock for Michael, one good advantage is that it gets her away from her family so she can't get sucked into helping them out. As someone who did a lot of work in the family home, her absence is going to be felt pretty keenly.

[socalrules]

A man that helps his wife through miscarriage after miscarriage, lives with the stress of whether she and the baby will make it through this pregnancy alive and has to give her shots everyday to keep said pregnancy is the farthest thing from a wimp to me. It takes a lot of strength to deal with heartache and fear for the person you love everyday but still be strong for them.

[J'Lurker]

My favourite Chad moment was when someone asked him where he learned to give Erin the heparin injections, and he's like, "I used to give the goats injections....not exactly the same thing but....."

[Kak]

David Beckham does not have a 'manly' voice, but it hasn't hurt his appeal.

[Kak]

My favourite Chad moment was when someone asked him where he learned to give Erin the heparin injections, and he's like, "I used to give the goats injections....not exactly the same thing but....."

That's brilliant.

[Dandruff]

I was thinking last night about how through this thread it was brought up several times how Chad does so much for the Bates family (handyman-wise). If he and Erin didn't live so close to her family, the other Bateseses would have to deal with more (in the first season they even showed Chad over at the house cutting hair). It's another example of how Chad cares for Erin that he was willing to live where she is from.

In regard to Michael, there is an exclusive clip on the UPTV website of Brandon saying how the other Bates kids said he and Michael should settle in Tennessee, but that he's been "serving at a ministry in Chicago" working for the IBLP mothership and therefore they'll live in Chicago for now. Brandon says, "I'm taking her with me." and Michael adds, "I'm willingly going!" While they'll be living near the Wallers and the rest of the hard-core IBLP crowd, at least Michael will be away from her family and their needs and (hopefully) successfully leaving and cleaving like Alyssa has. As the nearly-oldest and the one who helped raise most of her younger siblings as well as being a nanny, it will be a transition for her to be responsible to/for just her husband (and future children).

Another question - do the Bates kids have buddies like the Duggars? They don't mention it on the UPTV shows, but I didn't watch their TLC show so I wasn't sure if it was discussed then.

I think the original plan was for Chad and Erin to move to OK, near his family. When they stayed, I assumed that it was because of the miscarriages and Erin wanting the support of her family during a difficult pregnancy. There's also the TV show to keep them around. I suspect they will, at some point, move but who knows.

I can see Brandon and Michael fitting in really well with the Wallers and other IBLP hard-cores. They both seem totally into it. I find it easy to imagine Michael helping Priscilla and Kendalyn with their babies, homeschooling, etc, at least until she has her first.