Erika Shupe *fake smile* Large Families on Purpose *cringe*

[Koala]

Edited to ask: Are we allowed to directly quote comments from a public Facebook page? And am I going to get my hand slapped for asking that question? I've been around a while and should know...... :? *ducking for cover now*

I think it's fair game as long as it's public :)

And the Legos :( Why do these people have kids, when they clearly don't want them???

[usmcmom]

Thanks, Koala. I knew we could not share emails but wanted to play it safe on the Facebook thing. And yeah...why ARE these people having children?!?

[LovelyLuna]

because they would be disappointing baby Jesus an they wouldn't get into heaven otherwise.

[16strong]

Legos are a pain, but how hard is it to keep the Legos relegated to one room? I had a look at that woman's house. They have a huge 2 story house with a basement. You can't tell me they don't have one out of the way space to allow the kids to play with them in. Yet another mother that's had more kids than she can handle, and takes stuff away from them when she starts to be inconvenienced.

[Guest]

That video of the kids on their two minute run around the deck is so weird. They have a big yard, can't they run around there? And at the 14 second mark you can see Erika's hand, and I think she's holding a little timer. I don't know why I'm surprised, but she's actually timing the 2 minute run. I wonder what the neighbors think of these people.

ETA: I hate that she always dresses Lacey and Lilly alike. It's cute to do once in a while, like if they are going out for the day maybe. But they're two different people, Erika, and most of the time they should be dressed as such.

[MatthewDuggar]

I had millions of Legos as a child. I'm sure my mother absolutely hated them as she was a total neat freak, but she tolerated them and never said a word unless I left them scattered all over the place. Of course I'd always miss a few. I can recall finding the odd lego when doing spring cleaning and moving furniture.

[OnAndOnAnon]

I don't like the whole idea of only having one activity out at a time (full disclosure: I *used* to be That Mom). But I've realized how that was killing creativity. Sometimes, kids want to build a train track that has lincoln log houses next to it, with matchbox cars waiting for the train to cross the tracks. And sometimes, there are dinosaurs that are about to attack the scene as well. If I limited them to JUST train tracks or JUST lincoln logs, etc, they are so much more limited!

[apandaaries]

That video of the kids on their two minute run around the deck is so weird. They have a big yard, can't they run around there? And at the 14 second mark you can see Erika's hand, and I think she's holding a little timer. I don't know why I'm surprised, but she's actually timing the 2 minute run. I wonder what the neighbors think of these people.

ETA: I hate that she always dresses Lacey and Lilly alike. It's cute to do once in a while, like if they are going out for the day maybe. But they're two different people, Erika, and most of the time they should be dressed as such.

Well, you know if they ran in that big yard, they'd just get messy and dirty and have to clean up again before school! Can't have that now!

And I really hope this doesn't happen to Lacey and Lilly, but there are definitely some odd twins out there: http://www.slate.com/blogs/behold/2013/ ... hotos.html

ETA: I'm cross-posting with OnAndOnAnon, and I agree about not having one activity at a time. Some of the best imaginative play of my childhood involved me and my brother and our toys in the backyard, with some dirt and a hose. Sometimes other kids from the neighborhood would join in, too, with or without their toys. We had the basics: we had fun; we made a mess; we cleaned it later; we got baths at the end of the day; no one died from dirt; & our only "productivity" was enjoying the day.

[Fascinated]

I like how one commenter cannot bring herself to use the word 'Halloween', but refers to it as 10/31. And Erika mentions the kids do other fun fall activities (besides writing their names on tiny pumpkins)! Re the deck run, I got the distinct impression that Erika was trying to portray herself as a fun, easygoing type mom, rather than a timer-wielding control freak who is just trying to make her kids sit still in exactly two minutes from then.

[Hisey]

Erika has written many times that her backyard is too muddy to play in for 8-9 months of the year. Plus it is "too dark" and "damp" outside. So those kids are inside all day, every day, most of the year.

I wonder how this jibes with making her boys into "real men" who are bold, adventurous leaders? Bold, adventurous leaders usually are NOT afraid of mud.

Erika, most little boys don't mind dirt and mud. Nor do little girls. It is far better for them to play outside for a few house than to sit inside that spotless house all day,confined behind baby gates.

My own backyard is quite muddy now. I'd love it if my kids got off their screen and went out to play.

[DarkAnts]

Erika has written many times that her backyard is too muddy to play in for 8-9 months of the year. Plus it is "too dark" and "damp" outside. So those kids are inside all day, every day, most of the year.

I wonder how this jibes with making her boys into "real men" who are bold, adventurous leaders? Bold, adventurous leaders usually are NOT afraid of mud.

Erika, most little boys don't mind dirt and mud. Nor do little girls. It is far better for them to play outside for a few house than to sit inside that spotless house all day,confined behind baby gates.

My own backyard is quite muddy now. I'd love it if my kids got off their screen and went out to play.

I don't understand this. The PNW is dry (in comparison to the winter) in the summer. The kids should be outside during that time enjoying the backyard.

Also don't understand why mud is so bad. I played in the dirt as a child, mud pies were my favorite. My parents hosed me off before coming inside and I had a

a bath/shower before dinner. Clothes and children are washable. My immigration was outdoors, winter and summer were magical adventures. I will not delay my children this experience.

[Maggie Mae]

So what if it's dark and damp. Put on a coat, grab some headlamps and take a shower when you come in.

[MatthewDuggar]

The best to play is after it rains. I can remember bringing my cars and action figures outside and setting up little scenes along tiny "rivers". My mother never had an issue with it. Those poor kids.

[apandaaries]

The best to play is after it rains. I can remember bringing my cars and action figures outside and setting up little scenes along tiny "rivers". My mother never had an issue with it. Those poor kids.

Totally. That's why we had to have a hose in CA -- very little rain (and we weren't allowed to use much water), but designing some rivers, maybe a pond, some battle stations, some safe zones -- whatever. It was all important, and water and mud were necessary. That the toys were a mash up of He-Man figures, My Little Ponies, She-Ra, some Barbies, a few GI Joe recruits, and whatever other plastic figures were around didn't matter at all. My parents always had a vegetable area, and some lawn, but there was always some place available for us to just play -- in a completely messy and very fun fashion. While we may not have been using our toys as they were designed to be used (we were rather anti-Shupe in that fashion), we had tons of imaginative play. My brother and I both hold advanced degrees now, so it's not like failing to follow the corporate-designed rules for play hindered us academically or in the work world.

Bleh, Erika! :nenner: Let your kids go play and get dirty!

[mango_fandango]

That video of the kids on their two minute run around the deck is so weird. They have a big yard, can't they run around there? And at the 14 second mark you can see Erika's hand, and I think she's holding a little timer. I don't know why I'm surprised, but she's actually timing the 2 minute run. I wonder what the neighbors think of these people.

ETA: I hate that she always dresses Lacey and Lilly alike. It's cute to do once in a while, like if they are going out for the day maybe. But they're two different people, Erika, and most of the time they should be dressed as such.

But she LOVES to dress them matching! They're so cute! *wink* Sometimes they aren't dressed exactly alike, but in a similar style. Like during that tea party, they're both wearing the same dress, but in different colours- one red, one yellow. In her "Life with Twins" post she has some pictures of when they're not exactly matching, but similar outfits, like two pink dresses but one has flowers and the other butterflies etc. In the family Christmas letter, they don't get an individual paragraph, and Erika says they haven't quite grasped the unique twin concept yet. Fair enough, they are still quite young, I suppose. But I've seen many stories where mums have been able to tell apart their twins from when they were babies- Twin A is feisty whereas Twin B is laid back etc. This is an example of when it would be good for them to go to school (yes, they'd all be better off at school, but I'm talking twins specifically.) They would likely be placed in different classes, and would be able to make their own friends. Even if they were in the same class they'd be mixing with other kids and making their own friends. But as it is they don't really have any friends, save cousins/their siblings, which just isn't the same.

[Anonymousguest]

Snip

Even if they were in the same class they'd be mixing with other kids and making their own friends. But as it is they don't really have any friends, save cousins/their siblings, which just isn't the same.

I don't think that is true of the Erika's kids. We have some mutual friends, and she is very active in their Homeschool co op and church. The kids are not secluded and isolated ala the Maxwells.

As far as the twin thing, I have a set of identical twin cousins, who always insisted they dress the same, or in similar matching outfits. And while they definitely did have different personalities, they were very close and referred to themselves as one person until they were about 7ish. And they were in public school in delegate classrooms. They are adults now and still very close, they went to separate colleges, but are now roommates, share most friends, etc.

[mango_fandango]

I don't think that is true of the Erika's kids. We have some mutual friends, and she is very active in their Homeschool co op and church. The kids are not secluded and isolated ala the Maxwells.

As far as the twin thing, I have a set of identical twin cousins, who always insisted they dress the same, or in similar matching outfits. And while they definitely did have different personalities, they were very close and referred to themselves as one person until they were about 7ish. And they were in public school in delegate classrooms. They are adults now and still very close, they went to separate colleges, but are now roommates, share most friends, etc.

Ah, OK. Fair enough. I figured Erika would be active in the homeschool co-op and church. And I suppose every set of twins is different. We just don't get any indication of any of Erika's kids' personalities, not just the twins. We know that Karen likes gardening and Melanie likes art, but apart from that, nada. At least we know about the Duggars, although I suppose that's to do with their TV show more than anything.

[defraudingjezebel]

Ah, OK. Fair enough. I figured Erika would be active in the homeschool co-op and church. And I suppose every set of twins is different. We just don't get any indication of any of Erika's kids' personalities, not just the twins. We know that Karen likes gardening and Melanie likes art, but apart from that, nada. At least we know about the Duggars, although I suppose that's to do with their TV show more than anything.

I think we know the most about the two oldest daughters because Erika is the closest to them. Either that, or she knows them well from co-parenting with them! But in my heart of hearts, I'd like to think that Erika allows the two oldest girls to engage in a little secular fun. I get the sense that she does somewhat, because we know that Melanie likes to draw and has drawn a character from Frozen.

[mango_fandango]

I think we know the most about the two oldest daughters because Erika is the closest to them. Either that, or she knows them well from co-parenting with them! But in my heart of hearts, I'd like to think that Erika allows the two oldest girls to engage in a little secular fun. I get the sense that she does somewhat, because we know that Melanie likes to draw and has drawn a character from Frozen.

Oh yeah. We snark a LOT on Erika, and believe me there's lots to snark about, but she is a little more permissive than other fundies in that the girls get to wear tank tops (small steps) and they watch a lot more secular movies than others.

And I agree with you about why we know most about Karen and Melanie. They're close in age, and are three years older than Brandon (Melanie is anyway). After that, the kids come thick and fast (even though there's also a sizeable gap between Brandon and Anna Marie) and they're more of a large, homogeneous group than Karen and Melanie.

Off topic: Erika posted some pics of the family on a walk. The first photo is of Brandon, Anna Marie and Riley each carrying either a twin or Spencer (most likely). Brandon, Anna Marie and Riley are all pretty much the same height. You'd kind of expect Riley and Anna Marie to be, since they're only a year apart, but Brandon? My brother is four years older than his (male) cousin, and when my brother was 12 he sure wasn't the same height as his cousin. I seriously hope Brandon is OK. (I know we've mentioned this/him before).

Also, Riley seems to be wearing his glasses all the time, as opposed to them just being reading glasses.

[Eternalbluepearl]

In my family, my dad and oldest brother are average height but my twin brother is 5'4". There's nothing wrong with him. He was just always short. I'm only 5'1" as well. :shrug:

[princessmahina]

Erika posted about re-implementing the buddy system when they leave the house. My thoughts: if you have to implement a buddy system, you have too many damn kids.

Oh, and Karen doesn't have a buddy because she's the co-parent. Good job there, Erika. A seventeen year old girl shouldn't be a parent unless she chose to have that child.

[Anonymousguest]

Brandon does seem very small, but I have seen that in many boys, that they don't grow quickly until they hit puberty around 14ish, even later for some. Then they take off and get taller than their mother and sisters. How much of an age gap is between him and the next boy down?

[mango_fandango]

Brandon does seem very small, but I have seen that in many boys, that they don't grow quickly until they hit puberty around 14ish, even later for some. Then they take off and get taller than their mother and sisters. How much of an age gap is between him and the next boy down?

About four years. I've thought that too about Brandon having likely not reached puberty yet, but a lot of FJers have commented not just about how small he is, but how skinny he is too. It could just be natural skinniness, though. It's not just me who's mentioned Brandon- others have too.

[iweartanktops]

How does this not qualify for abandonment? The bitch sleeps in ear plugs so she doesn't have to hear her children and that's A-OK, but taking your child to school (where they can learn from someone who is competent to teach and can probably spell decently) is abandonment? She does realize they're not boarding schools, right?

I'm starting to think Erika must have had a terrible time in school as a kid, or she wouldn't be so bitchy and insane about it now.

I'm not finished reading this thread yet, but it occurs to me that my SIL's family is at least fundie lite and she was homeschooled and all the girls lived at home until marriage. I wanted to comment on the last part where you mentioned that Erika must have had a terrible time in school. I do wonder about this a lot with many of these outrageous families. I was visiting with my SIL recently and she asked my advice on whether or not I think she should allow my nieces (her kids) to play team sports. For me this is a non-issue. If my future children want to play sports, I'll sign them up! So I asked what the hesitation was about. She proceeds to tell me that her parents didn't allow any of her or her 6 siblings to play sports because her mom remembered being mean to other kids when she played sports some 30 years ago. Thus, her decision to keep her children out of them to prevent the opportunity to be mean to other kids all together?? To me this is bat shit crazy! I told SIL that by all means, if the kids want to play sports, let them play and TEACH THEM HOW TO TREAT OTHERS!

Sorry, that was lengthy but I guess I do have a lot of fundie stories to share now that my brother is married to one!

[LovelyLuna]

Sorry, that was lengthy but I guess I do have a lot of fundie stories to share now that my brother is married to one!

Mr. LL’s brother married a Fundie Lite girl. You come across some incredibly head scratching things. my favorite so far are the 3x5 note cards containing bible verses all over her mothers house. There is one taped to the wall directly across from the toilet so while you are doing your business there is a bible verse staring at you. :think: :lol: