Nathan and Ashley Salyer - Courtship

[BunnyBee]

38 minutes ago, freethemall said:

Let me Google that for you: http://feminineatheart.blogspot.com/

Thank you friend :3

[Graceshepard]

So sad reading Ashley's blog, she seems even more brainwashed than the Bates girls. Of course she was only 15 when she wrote the blog entries, but it seems like she'll allow Nathan to rule her as he wishes. Nathan us so ignorant and oppinionated, for example, he behaved like an absolute jerk when Michaella was closing a wedding dress...does not bode well for his relationship with Ashley. 

My guess is that Ashley will loose her spunk over the years and yield to her headship just like Michelle duggar did. What a shame.

[19 cats and counting]

In Nathan's defense about the wedding dress, it is not typical for any man to be involved in wedding dress shopping (typically the bride, her mom, and maybe her bridal party).  It's an overwhelming enough choice for a woman (watch Say Yes to the Dress) without male influence.  How many guys know what terms like mermaid and sweetheart mean in the wedding dress world?

 

[RosyDaisy]

When I was dress shopping, it was just me, my sister, and my nieces. No men allowed.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

2 hours ago, Graceshepard said:

So sad reading Ashley's blog, she seems even more brainwashed than the Bates girls. Of course she was only 15 when she wrote the blog entries, but it seems like she'll allow Nathan to rule her as he wishes. Nathan us so ignorant and oppinionated, for example, he behaved like an absolute jerk when Michaella was closing a wedding dress...does not bode well for his relationship with Ashley. 

My guess is that Ashley will loose her spunk over the years and yield to her headship just like Michelle duggar did. What a shame.

While I'm willing to give him a bit of a pass on the wedding dress (after all, the only reason he was there as a dude was because of the TV cameras and UP! probably thinking some clueless guys would be funny) I wouldn't be surprised if he is a bit of a patriarchal jerk based on his upbringing. I dearly hope for Ashley's sake that Nathan is more Chad/Zach than Bin Seeweed. Poor Ashley is utterly brainwashed and will just lie down and accept whatever treatment her headship dishes out and that worries me.

[Graceshepard]

It will be interesting to see the dynamics of Ashley and Nathan's relationship in upcoming episodes of BUB to gauge whether Nathan will be more like Zach/Chad or Ben Seewald

 

[19 cats and counting]

Ben's biggest problems are first his immaturity and second that his relationship with Jessa was not able to evolve naturally.  In the secular world the two would have been fucking like rabbits and then eventually breaking up when they realized they weren't meant to be.  Almost like the quarterback and head cheerleader couple in high school.

Nathan's a few years older than Ben (22? to Ben's 20) and the relationships around him are a lot healthier than any Duggar marriage (including JB and Michelle).  For all of Gil's faults (and the scandals surrounding him), I do think his marriage is healthy.  I also think that the 4 married Bates kids seem to (from the surface) have healthy marriages.  They all seem well matched and they had a long enough dating/courtship/engagement to work out their differences.  They may have even had private conversations with no 10 yo listening in.  Luckily for Nathan, the family examples are good ones.

I don't know enough about either Nathan or Ashley (I think they'll be featured heavily next season replacing Brandon and Michael as the couple du jour).  From their body language, they seem to be very into each other (and all over each other by fundie standards) and it is love not lust.  

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

When I was dress shopping, it was just me, my sister, and my nieces. No men allowed.

I took my mom and no one else. We had the dress picked in half an hour and then spent the rest of the appointment talking, "Game of Thrones," with the staff. Best dress hunting ever! 

[RosyDaisy]

I wish my mother and grandmother could have been there. I miss them so much.

[DaisyD]

It didn't even occur to me to take anyone. I dropped into one of two places to get a dress, grabbed the first one I liked and it fit. I tried on one other so the sales lady could get a commission and then bought the first one. It was an errand not an event. I had no idea that it was customary to bring people with you. 

[JillyO]

I ordered my wedding dress online. Never even set foot in a store. But I did have my Maid of Honor and some liquid courage with me to do it.

[elliha]

12 hours ago, 19 cats and counting said:

Nathan's a few years older than Ben (22? to Ben's 20) and the relationships around him are a lot healthier than any Duggar marriage (including JB and Michelle).  For all of Gil's faults (and the scandals surrounding him), I do think his marriage is healthy.  I also think that the 4 married Bates kids seem to (from the surface) have healthy marriages.  They all seem well matched and they had a long enough dating/courtship/engagement to work out their differences.  They may have even had private conversations with no 10 yo listening in.  Luckily for Nathan, the family examples are good ones.

I agree. I have never gotten the slightest hunch that Kelly is afraid of Gil and he seems to treat her well despite them believing in wifely submission the same way the Duggars do. With Michelle on the other hand it feels like she constantly looks out for the right answer from JB and I sometimes do get the sense she is scared of him which is one of the reasons I don't like watching their show. As much as might have been taught of wifely submission I think the Bates kids have seen a relatively normal and healthy marriage while this is not what I think the Duggar kids have seen. They will use what they have seen to understand what they have been taught and I think that the Bates picture of submission is a totally different thing from Duggar submission. Kelly probably does not openly challenge Gil but I would be surprised if he does not get to at least hear her opinion once the bedroom door is closed. 

[Palimpsest]

On 4/6/2016 at 9:30 PM, freethemall said:

Let me Google that for you: http://feminineatheart.blogspot.com/

I'm so glad that my teenage ramblings about life, love and the meaning of the universe were written in a dead tree journal and easily destroyed.

I hope Ashley has grown up a bit.

[nastyhobbitses]

Well, I trawled through Ashley's Instagram a bit. Conclusion: she's fundie as all hell, but she seems like she has a bit of personality, is very close to her family (always a nice thing), seems very in touch with her Latina roots (which I hope the Batesseseseses don't try to steer her away from because heaven forbid someone not live or talk exactly like a white Anglo-Saxon Southern fundie), and has a good (if slightly overdone) singing voice. I hope she and Nathan have a happy courtship and she picks out a cute wedding dress, but I'm not banking on either of them leaving the fundie life.

[19 cats and counting]

I will say that if she's interested in music (and doing something more with it), she's going to marry into the right family.

While we can debate Erin and Lawson's musical abilities, I'll give them both credit for doing something with it.

[Kelsey]

I don't know how they do it- but the Bates girls really do seem to get the best fundie husbands (I know, low bar). I know they all (likely) have terrible beliefs but I'd rather go out to dinner with any of the Bates couples (except the parents) than any of the other fundie couples we talk about. I feel like they could at least carry on a conversation about something other than Jesus/hell. 

I hope Nathan will follow in the footsteps of what has been modeled for him with regard to treating Ashley decently. I hope that they learn and grow together.

[Diana]

At first i also thought that Ashley was more wordly and normal,because she  lives in a big city and all that...but she went to Journey to the Heart after all, and looking at her blog i think they were a success brainwashing her. So i think she is not going to be surprised by her new life if she does marry Nathan.

[JMO]

44 minutes ago, Kelsey said:

I don't know how they do it- but the Bates girls really do seem to get the best fundie husbands (I know, low bar). I know they all (likely) have terrible beliefs but I'd rather go out to dinner with any of the Bates couples (except the parents) than any of the other fundie couples we talk about. I feel like they could at least carry on a conversation about something other than Jesus/hell. 

I hope Nathan will follow in the footsteps of what has been modeled for him with regard to treating Ashley decently. I hope that they learn and grow together.

This.  I'm in a field where I talk to a lot of different people from many walks of life.  I could probably have a conversation with Erin or Alyssa about their family/child/interests without wanting to gouge my eyes out.  Jill or Jessa? Get me out of there. Would I want to have any of them in my personal life or have an influence on my family? Hell to the No! 

[HereticHick]

1 hour ago, Diana said:

At first i also thought that Ashley was more wordly and normal,because she  lives in a big city and all that...but she went to Journey to the Heart after all, and looking at her blog i think they were a success brainwashing her. So i think she is not going to be surprised by her new life if she does marry Nathan.

Dang--when did she go to JTTH?

I do think that it is positive that, according to her Instagram, she got to attend a secular, public, cooking school [at the NYC School of Cooperative Technical Education--http://www.co-optech.org/] as well as a secular music school [Bloomingdale School of Music--https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloomingdale_School_of_Music]. I think she has more actual classroom experiences with non-ATI peers/siblings than do most of the Bates and Duggars.

[Bgirl]

I don't know if anyone saw the last episode of BUB but everyone was saying how good Ashley was for Nathan because she kept him in line and wouldn't let him get away with things. To me that implies she's not a push over but has a sass about her.

[Diana]

10 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Dang--when did she go to JTTH?

 

She went in 2009, there is a picture in her blog (http://feminineatheart.blogspot.com.es/2009/09/in-this-picture-we-had-just-arrived-to.html#comment-form). Her team leader was Priscilla (Anna Duggar sister).

[19 cats and counting]

Here's a group shot on her blog posing in front of Gothard's car.

http://feminineatheart.blogspot.com.es/2009/09/my-group-from-new-york-posing-in-front.html

I guess she's over the moon to be marrying into ATI royalty.

[HereticHick]

7 minutes ago, 19 cats and counting said:

Here's a group shot on her blog posing in front of Gothard's car.

http://feminineatheart.blogspot.com.es/2009/09/my-group-from-new-york-posing-in-front.html

I guess she's over the moon to be marrying into ATI royalty.

So she was 13 at the time. Yikes, I hope people don't judge me by things I said and did and thought when I was 13! !  [and as others have said here--I'm thankful that my journal isn't online for the whole planet to see!]

[19 cats and counting]

@HereticHick I'll give her the age thing.  For all we know, Gothard could have been treated like royalty/celebrity in the household and it would be an honor to get a pic of his car (think of all the crazy things that Justin Bieber fans have done).  I'm just wondering how ATI she and her family still is.  I can tell she's still pretty fundie from her IG.

And yes I'm glad my teenage writings are not online.  I do feel for today's teenagers as their blogs/social media could follow them for the rest of their lives.

Could someone here with more knowledge talk about ATI popularity throughout the years?  I'm curious to see when they peaked and where they were around 2009 (IIRC the Duggars were in season 1-2 then).   This was 2009.

[QuiverDance]

Ashley's dad looks creepy as heck.  That is all.