All Things Dillard - Part 4

[Snarkle Motion]

It's a problem because it reinforces the cultural idea that women's bodies are never good enough. Someone reading about how weird/distressing/funny/wrong it is that Jill's body hasn't snapped back to prepregnancy shape is more likely to wonder if her body is also "wrong" for not snapping back too. It's a poisonous concept that we really shouldn't want to promote.

But I don't think people are saying her body is anyway "wrong", just that she potentially could be pregnant again. I didn't articulate myself well before as I wrote in a rush but I think I'm confused why giving up to the minute updates about her pregnancy and criticism of every decision she made regarding her birth is considered snark. But speculating that she *might* be pregnant again is completely inappropriate? Maybe for me I just need clear rules about what is considered hurtful and out of line because this seems completely confusing to me.

First of all, comparing our board culture to racists defending the confederate flag is just about as asinine and offensive as the Duggars comparing abortion to the holocaust. I mean, come the fuck on. Wanting to maintain a certain level of thought in a discussion about religious fundamentalism is in no way comparable to institutional racism and the owning of human beings. For fucks sake. :angry-banghead:

Second of all, I agree with what other posters said about not going into someone else's house and rearranging the furniture, etc. This board has been around for years. We don't all think in lockstep, but we do value intelligent conversation about controversial topics. That's why we're here. There are many new users who understand that and they are not having trouble joining in.

Okay I did NOT mean to say that this board is racist. I meant to say that using "culture" as an end all defense does not really address the point being made. Just that when people point out that this board feels intimidating to first time posters who have lurked for a long time, everyone's response is "you have to understand the culture". Which is fine. Maybe the culture is to be hostile and intimidating to new posters - it definitely is a method of keeping certain people out and I mean this in sincerity when I say that its not necessarily a bad system if that is the goal. I think my frustration is that I legitimately lurked for months and was scared to post - and I'm a pretty assertive, confident person - so I imagine that there are so many people who do not even bother to try and are scared away. You don't hear their opinions which is why I felt I had to be vocal. But maybe that's me seeing something that's not really a problem, its just what I felt and imagined others must have felt and many others who were scared off or don't even bother to participate. I'm not saying that the board has to change but that it should be aware of this and the members can decide if that's how they want to proceed. But every time someone brings it up its immediately a personal attack into how the problem is with them being too sensitive and butt-hurt and not understanding the "culture" of the board.

[Yoshimi]

I think I solved the mystery. Joe Donaldson (Duggar family friend who posted those IG videos yesterday) is the one telling people that the Dillards are leaving on Sunday. He did NOT say where they'll be going but some fans jumped the gun on Nepal, which he had to deny. So I guess Central America it is?

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Seems like Jill has always wanted to be a missionary in Central America. She has a "heart" for them and likes practicing her Spanish.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I enthusiastically support reading the John Shrader files-- Team Zambia Forevah!!! (I could totally see his story being made into a comical movie.)

As to whether or not Jill is pregnant yet.... Sigh. I do not understand the need for people to constantly speculate on whether someone is knocked up by looking at pictures. We went through this for years with Anna Duggar. "She is definitely pregnant!" Months later "She is definitely pregnant now" Weeks later "Oh that must have been just a food baby, she doesn't look pregnant anymore." Here is a little suggestion: Quiverful women usually announce their pregnancies early on so why not wait until there is an announcement. If you are trying to guess if someone is pregnant by the glow on their face, a tiny bump, a fullness in the face, chances are it can be attributed to something else. Since you don't have insider information, there isn't any need to give everyone your opinion before the mother-to-be has shared her news.

[FundieFarmer]

There is a youtube video called Nepal: The Steep Path to Recovery....it shows porters bringing food to remote areas on animals.....the World Food Programme....and giving funds to families to help with their livelihoods with regard to farming, etc.

So, I hope they are going to Central America. It would be ridiculous to go at this point. Jill has a small infant, what can she do when she has to nurse and care for that baby.

Perhaps she thinks she'll teach what good Christian motherhood looks like, and minister to the mothers and babies there? You know, in a group where they can all sit around nursing together, and she can impart her endless wisdom?

[2manyKidzzz]

I think I solved the mystery. Joe Donaldson (Duggar family friend who posted those IG videos yesterday) is the one telling people that the Dillards are leaving on Sunday. He did NOT say where they'll be going but some fans jumped the gun on Nepal, which he had to deny. So I guess Central America it is?

A prize to you Yoshimi. I just felt it would be so incredibly weird to go to Nepal while they are recovering from a huge natural disaster. And Derick can fly home for his dental appointments, surely they will beg enough money for that (snark)

I am also uncomfortable with stealing Hindus and Buddhists for Baby Jesus.

[2manyKidzzz]

Perhaps she thinks she'll teach what good Christian motherhood looks like, and minister to the mothers and babies there? You know, in a group where they can all sit around nursing together, and she can impart her endless wisdom?

Well, ya know, I hadn't quite pictures that scenario!!! And endless wisdom is truly is. So, I guess in Central America they will steal Catholics for Baby Jesus. But, they already Do have Baby Jesus, just not in QUITE the right way. I don''t know what other religions there are in Central America, but I'm sure they are just fine whatever they are. I'll go and google it right away!!

[2manyKidzzz]

A quick journey to wikipedia tells me that in El Salvador it is RC 47% and Protestant 33%. In Guatemala the missions are really successful....a chart showed that in 1978 the population was 78.9% RC and 12.7% Protestant and a 2010 survey showed that it was then 47.2% RC to 39.5% Protestant.

So they are accomplishing their goal. Stealing Catholics for Baby Jesus and presumably saving them.

[happy atheist]

Good question. My bolding and edits in red.

Qualifications:

Compare that to the qualifications for an ISC:

ETA Journeyman:

So the training is a 4 day conference.

:angry-banghead:

I figured it would be something to do with language skills, but shouldn't they just have a program for Spanish speakers? Not everyone who speaks Spanish is Hispanic, and not every Hispanic speaks Spanish. But I guess if they had a special category for Spanish speakers they couldn't get away with the extra qualifications, like the education one.

[Snarkle Motion]

Define autism.

Autism is very difficult to diagnose, are you really able to do that after seeing just a few photos? As a developmental psychologist, in fact a university professor emeritus, you could teach me a thing or two about autism and the appearance of a three moths old looking developmentally off.

After a brief look at this thread, I have one question, who are these people?

People who actually work with autism. I guess everyone's not as up to date with the latest information but you absolutely start looking for the signs as early as 2 months as evidence indicates that there early warning signs and early interventions greatly improve outcomes. Here is information from the CDC:

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/mile ... s-2mo.html

How your child plays, learns, speaks, and acts offers important clues about your child’s development. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age.

Check the milestones your child has reached by the end of 2 months. Take this with you and talk with your child’s doctor at every visit about the milestones your child has reached and what to expect next.

What most babies do at this age:

Social and Emotional

Begins to smile at people

Can briefly calm himself (may bring hands to mouth and suck on hand)

Tries to look at parent

Language/Communication

Coos, makes gurgling sounds

Turns head toward sounds

Baby raising head and chest when lying on stomach

Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)

Pays attention to faces

Begins to follow things with eyes and recognize people at a distance

Begins to act bored (cries, fussy) if activity doesn’t change

Movement/Physical Development

Can hold head up and begins to push up when lying on tummy

Makes smoother movements with arms and legs

Act early by talking to your child’s doctor if your child:

Doesn’t respond to loud sounds

Doesn’t watch things as they move

Doesn’t smile at people

Doesn’t bring hands to mouth

Can’t hold head up when pushing up when on tummy

If You’re Concerned – Act Early

Tell your child’s doctor or nurse if you notice any of these signs of possible developmental delay for this age, and talk with someone in your community who is familiar with services for young children in your area, such as your state’s public early intervention program. For more information, visit our "If You’re Concerned" web page or call 1-800-CDC-INFO.

[singsingsing]

Where's the 1-800 number for concerned people on message boards who think a 3-month-old baby looks kinda weird?

[formergothardite]

People who actually work with autism. I guess everyone's not as up to date with the latest information but you absolutely start looking for the signs as early as 2 months as evidence indicates that there early warning signs and early interventions greatly improve outcomes. Here is information from the CDC:

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/mile ... s-2mo.html

I think parents and family for sure could keep an eye on it if they are concerned. But there is no way to even take a guess at this based on a few seconds of a video. Anyone who claims they can guess at autism signs with a baby based on a brief video is full of shit.

[latraviata]

Jee fringer wrote:

People who actually work with autism. I guess everyone's not as up to date with the latest information but you absolutely start looking for the signs as early as 2 months as evidence indicates that there early warning signs and early interventions greatly improve outcomes. Here is information from the CDC:

Yes, fine and they are looking for signs by viewing photos and 2 seconds of footage? A sort of online diagnostic service?

[Snarkle Motion]

I think parents and family for sure could keep an eye on it if they are concerned. But there is no way to even take a guess at this based on a few seconds of a video. Anyone who claims they can guess at autism signs with a baby based on a brief video is full of shit.

I don't think anyone was claiming to diagnose Izzy. I certainly am not advocating that. I believe the original poster pointed out that Izzy does not seem to make eye contact or appear engaged and suggested the possibility of autism. People lambasted the commenter as being completely out of nowhere when in actuality those are pretty much the developmental signs you look for at that age.

[umbrellaella]

Oh no, Mary Beacon! WHY?!?! :angry-banghead:

[formergothardite]

I don't think anyone was claiming to diagnose Izzy. I certainly am not advocating that. I believe the original poster pointed out that Izzy does not seem to make eye contact or appear engaged and suggested the possibility of autism. People lambasted the commenter as being completely out of nowhere when in actuality those are pretty much the developmental signs you look for at that age.

People who suggest that sort of a thing based on a very brief video are full of shit.

[Snarkle Motion]

Jee fringer wrote:

People who actually work with autism. I guess everyone's not as up to date with the latest information but you absolutely start looking for the signs as early as 2 months as evidence indicates that there early warning signs and early interventions greatly improve outcomes. Here is information from the CDC:

Yes, fine and they are looking for signs by viewing photos and 2 seconds of footage? A sort of online diagnostic service?

I am in no way suggesting that people actually diagnose. I'm pointing out that discussing early warning signs is something that can help educate and improve treatment. I assumed that most people know to look for these early signs but realized the CDC has only recently started this campaign. I don't believe that its just this footage, that there has been several snippets where Izzy did not necessarily display the appropriate developmental milestones. That in and of itself doesn't mean anything but I don't think its ridiculous to point it out as a possibility and talk about the early warning signs.

[latraviata]

I think parents and family for sure could keep an eye on it if they are concerned. But there is no way to even take a guess at this based on a few seconds of a video. Anyone who claims they can guess at autism signs with a baby based on a brief video is full of shit.

Like always, the above it is based on the average and the average child doesn't exists. There are margins!

[latraviata]

I am in no way suggesting that people actually diagnose. I'm pointing out that discussing early warning signs is something that can help educate and improve treatment. I assumed that most people know to look for these early signs but realized the CDC has only recently started this campaign. I don't believe that its just this footage, that there has been several snippets where Izzy did not necessarily display the appropriate developmental milestones. That in and of itself doesn't mean anything but I don't think its ridiculous to point it out as a possibility and talk about the early warning signs.

It requires a long interview(s) with the parents/primary caretakers and thoroughly observing the child before you can make a statement like that. This is ridiculous!

[Snarkle Motion]

People who suggest that sort of a thing based on a very brief video are full of shit.

I don't just think its the one brief video though that the person was alluding to. I've also wondered if Jill's swaddling of Izzy is because this is what fundies do or if he may actually be fussy unless tightly swaddled. Sensory issues like this are often associated with autism. There are actually a lot of little things that I have found suspect but not enough so to say anything. I was not the one who suggested autism and I'm still not advocating diagnosis. Just that I'm saying as someone who has had some experience and knowledge that its not completely off base, I did not see it as mean or hurtful in intent, and perhaps a legitimate way to discuss early warning signs. No one is saying that Izzy is autistic, just advocating for being aware of these early signs and to point out that yes the most recent research indicates you absolutely want to be looking for them in a 3-month old.

[Dandruff]

Where's the 1-800 number for concerned people on message boards who think a 3-month-old baby looks kinda weird?

May I suggest a 1-900 number? Might as well get paid for listening to it.

I think the Dillards are going to Central America since Jill likes it there. Wouldn't be surprised at all if Anna already had M4, so Jill leaving wouldn't be a problem.

[formergothardite]

None of us here have seen enough of Izzy to even be qualified to speculate about the issue.

[latraviata]

I don't just think its the one brief video though that the person was alluding to. I've also wondered if Jill's swaddling of Izzy is because this is what fundies do or if he may actually be fussy unless tightly swaddled. Sensory issues like this are often associated with autism. There are actually a lot of little things that I have found suspect but not enough so to say anything. I was not the one who suggested autism and I'm still not advocating diagnosis. Just that I'm saying as someone who has had some experience and knowledge that its not completely off base, I did not see it as mean or hurtful in intent, and perhaps a legitimate way to discuss early warning signs. No one is saying that Izzy is autistic, just advocating for being aware of these early signs and to point out that yes the most recent research indicates you absolutely want to be looking for them in a 3-month old.

It has been suggested though and for the love of sanity stop giving, what has been written here, a quasi educational twist. Not making eye contact, photos and a 2 seconds clip, are you joking?? I know it wasn't your post but why are you defending an ignorant and thoughtless statement?

[latraviata]

None of us here have seen enough of Izzy to even be qualified to speculate about the issue.

Quite right, the real experts don't speculate or diagnose based on photos and video clips.

[Palimpsest]

Just when I thought this thread was getting back on a reasonably relevant track. Sigh.

I was going to leave this one alone but my comments in blue.

I am in no way suggesting that people actually diagnose. Yes, you are. I'm pointing out that discussing early warning signs is something that can help educate and improve treatment. Interminably. Repetitively. Boringly. I assumed that most people know to look for these early signs but realized the CDC has only recently started this campaign. Let the CDC do its job. I don't believe that its just this footage, that there has been several snippets where Izzy did not necessarily display the appropriate developmental milestones. Oh give me a break! You CANNOT tell from a few scraps of video and a few photos! That in and of itself doesn't mean anything but I don't think its ridiculous to point it out as a possibility and talk about the early warning signs.

You have pointed it out as a possibility. Several times. Quite a few people think you are making yourself look ridiculous. You have now posted all the warning signs from the CDC. Are you satisfied that your PSA is posted?

Run along and observe children that you know in real life, and do please warn their parents if you think their babies aren't meeting milestones on time. You won't have many friends left and total strangers might deck you in the grocery store if you tell them baby looks autistic, but you will have educated and warned them.

This is really not a good hill for you to die on, so please let it go!