Erin (Bates) Paine is PREGNANT

[RosyDaisy]

Great post Ursula. It's a multifaceted problem. All we can do is hope for the best. Patriarchal, Fundamentalist Christianity is a cult that has many people brainwashed.

[Adrienne83]

That's my guess as well. I'd say she's between 20-25 weeks, and that would be right in that timeframe. Normally I would say she doesn't look 25 weeks, but Alyssa seems to carry small, so Erin could as well.

Plus that would make sense for the public announcement. Where I'm from, 20-ish weeks is when a lot of people put the announcement on social media, so that just seems to me like a normal time to share.

But that's all pure speculation.

I'll be 23 weeks tomorrow and I still don't need pregnancy clothes and have yet to gain weight. And this is number 2. With number one, we went to order the crib the day before my c-section. The associate asked when I was due, and I said that my c-section is tomorrow. The look I got from her, lol. Wow. She even said that she couldn't believe it. I say all this only because looks alone don't really give a good guess as to how far along she is, ya know? though I will admit it is fun to guess! :D

We announced at about 12 weeks, but, we weren't high risk. Now it's time for registry watch! Not gonna lie. I get excited over them for some reason, lol. :lol:

[justmy2cents]

Yes Ursula, you brought up a good point. Chad mentioned in his blog that this is a high risk pregnancy and as you mentioned she keeps getting pregnant so how many of those can her body handle? We have to assume that her every pregnancy will be high risk. Let's hope they come to their senses and see how unwise it would be to have too many.

This picture on their Instagram is really cute. She looks to be between 4 - 5 months along in which case she may have already known by the time of Whitney's baby shower. That would explain why she was able to help plan it and didn't seem affected by Carlin's mention of her past loss.

instagram.com/p/yVaRWDlUAd/?modal=true

[WonderingInWA]

Adorable photo. She's a real beauty, for sure, and one with brains and talent. I'd love to know how much time she spends playing the piano for the baby -- hopefully lots! She's incredibly gifted.

[whoviana]

They really seem like lovely people. I'm grinding my teeth a little while trying to squeeze out "good for them" and I try not to think about the fact that this baby is being born into fundyland. I do not wish infertility upon Erin Paine and definitely no miscarriages, nothing what happened to this couple thus far, except the pregnancy, would I wish upon any living creature.

But I'm not pleased with the fact that another child is being born to fundamentalist parents who protest at anti abortion marches and blog about how women's right to abortion should be withdrawn, and that kid is going to grow up listening to crap like that and carry anti-abortion pickets along with his or her whackadoodle relatives. I'm prepared to be egged for this. Or, if anyone thinks that there's hope for this people to raise a tolerant child that won't spew crap on people that have it hard enough already, or won't be trained and brainwashed into thinking that human rights like gay marriage and abortion should be outbanned by the law, I'd be happy to be convinced to believe so...

[nst]

Chiming in all the way from the Duggar threads :D

happy for Chad and Erin who seem happier than cough Ben and Jessa cough :D

hope the pregnancy goes well :)

and curious what does Chad do as a job :D lol

[darkplumaged]

instagram.com/p/yVaRWDlUAd/?modal=true

Chad defrauded me here. That is all. :embarrassed:

(Oh, and Erin looks really cute and, except for her hair, not at all fundie.)

[Mellanya]

I do have soooo many questions regarding their stance on birth control and what happens after Erin gives birth to this child. If her pregnancy is really hard on her body, that high risk, would it be wise for them to conceive again as soon as her cycle comes back? Given these people's beliefs that's either going to happen or her and Chad will have to remain celibate for a period of time. What will they do if doctors say they need to space pregnancies? What will they do if they're told to NEVER conceive again because it would be extremely dangerous? For the record, based on how much Chad seems to love and adore Erin, I can see him volunteering to get neutered to protect her but that goes so against everything they've been taught what their god wants. So many questions that will never be answered because it is a very private matter but goddamn am I curious.

I personally can't imagine Erin having only one child. I see her with at least 3 or 4. I can imagine that she will get pregnant soon after the birth of her first, but maybe not so much out of bible reasons but rather because I imagine her scared that the risk will only get higher/possible infertility issues if she waits too long.

So, I totally see her having a few kids relatively close together. On the other hand I can imagine that they will, at some point, call it quits. I can't imagine Chad letting Erin risk her life too many times, if it comes down to that. Yes, he might be a fundie hardliner, but I think losing Erin (or the thought of it) would crush him.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

Chad defrauded me here. That is all. :embarrassed:

You are not alone! My eye went right to his ass before noticing the baby bump.

[Ellimenopy]

They really seem like lovely people. I'm grinding my teeth a little while trying to squeeze out "good for them" and I try not to think about the fact that this baby is being born into fundyland. I do not wish infertility upon Erin Paine and definitely no miscarriages, nothing what happened to this couple thus far, except the pregnancy, would I wish upon any living creature.

But I'm not pleased with the fact that another child is being born to fundamentalist parents who protest at anti abortion marches and blog about how women's right to abortion should be withdrawn, and that kid is going to grow up listening to crap like that and carry anti-abortion pickets along with his or her whackadoodle relatives. I'm prepared to be egged for this. Or, if anyone thinks that there's hope for this people to raise a tolerant child that won't spew crap on people that have it hard enough already, or won't be trained and brainwashed into thinking that human rights like gay marriage and abortion should be outbanned by the law, I'd be happy to be convinced to believe so...

I think there's hope for them! Not a total reformation, but baby steps towards more normal thinking. I think that having a "godly" way to limit their family will do wonders for them. I think at first they may be disappointed that their dreams of an enormous brood are unrealistic, but that they'll enjoy a quieter life with three or four kids instead of eleventy, and because they are clearly devoted and godly according to their cult, that might rub off on their siblings and friends. It'll certainly rub off on the children of their siblings and friends, especially their relative wealth at having two semi-educated and employed parents instead of enormous families of grifters. I know that it's devastating for them, but they don't seem like the type to wallow, and so I think eventually we'll see them relishing their smaller family and being a little more open as to why most people only want a few kids.

[bluebird]

I am truly happy for Erin and Chad. They want this baby and despite being fundie I think they will be good, loving parents. I think Chad dearly loves Erin and his love for her is more important to him than loving the idea of 10 kids.

[Firiel]

They really seem like lovely people. I'm grinding my teeth a little while trying to squeeze out "good for them" and I try not to think about the fact that this baby is being born into fundyland. I do not wish infertility upon Erin Paine and definitely no miscarriages, nothing what happened to this couple thus far, except the pregnancy, would I wish upon any living creature.

But I'm not pleased with the fact that another child is being born to fundamentalist parents who protest at anti abortion marches and blog about how women's right to abortion should be withdrawn, and that kid is going to grow up listening to crap like that and carry anti-abortion pickets along with his or her whackadoodle relatives. I'm prepared to be egged for this. Or, if anyone thinks that there's hope for this people to raise a tolerant child that won't spew crap on people that have it hard enough already, or won't be trained and brainwashed into thinking that human rights like gay marriage and abortion should be outbanned by the law, I'd be happy to be convinced to believe so...

If it makes you feel better, I am totally confused about the assumption that all the children and grandchildren will follow the teachings of the original fundie couple. There are quite a few examples of children leaving the fold completely or subtly distancing themselves from this branch of fundamentalism. The Jeub kids are leaving. Several Keller kids have left. I think there is a very good chance that these younger generations will not be fundamentalists.

[Mama Mia]

I personally can't imagine Erin having only one child. I see her with at least 3 or 4. I can imagine that she will get pregnant soon after the birth of her first, but maybe not so much out of bible reasons but rather because I imagine her scared that the risk will only get higher/possible infertility issues if she waits too long.

So, I totally see her having a few kids relatively close together. On the other hand I can imagine that they will, at some point, call it quits. I can't imagine Chad letting Erin risk her life too many times, if it comes down to that. Yes, he might be a fundie hardliner, but I think losing Erin (or the thought of it) would crush him.

I could see that too. That she might want to have at least one more fairly quickly in case she can't later.

I think there are other factors too that will help them decide how to proceed on family size.

If the pregnancy is considered high risk, but there aren't limitations on what she can do, everything goes smoothly, and she doesn't find the medications and having to get the shots too horrible --- I could see them continuing to follow their usual no birth control stance.

If the shots are awful for her, she needs to limit activity or be on bed rest or there are complications -- I think they will limit family size -- probably through a combination of scrupulous NFP and an eventual vasectomy ( not neutered! Gah..a vasectomy doesn't neuter a man!) or possibly a barrier method. Or just not taking the medications except when she wants a baby. But I don't think that would fly , ethically, for them since it doesn't prevent her from getting pregnant.

She also might space children by doing extended breastfeeding and not taking the medications while breast feeding. I know that the medications she started on are just over the counter and common -- but they might have been in dosages much higher than normal - and possibly not a good idea while nursing? I have no idea. Or the heparin for that matter.

I did notice in recent comments when Kelly responded to posters who were worrying over whether they should leave their own family size up to God , or even have just one more kid--- she seemed to put a lot more disclaimers and reassurances than usual about " asking God where to lead you, but it's a decision between you and your husband. God loves you no matter your family size "etc. I know they always throw that in-- but she seemed to, me, to kind of be stressing it more. Which led me to think that maybe it's something she's thinking about regarding Erin.

[nolongerIFBx]

(Side note: the most offensive thing said to me in the last few months is that "Jesus needed Mr. Womb in Heaven." Because, even if there is a literal belief in the Bible, nothing can support that stupid statement.)

Christians say stupid things sometimes. They (we) spout off some saying that sounds pretty but has no Biblical basis. Like, "God will never give you more than you can handle." Well, He never said that. It sounds nice to say to someone when they're going through hard times, but it isn't supported by scripture (in fact, I would argue the opposite!). God doesn't need anyone in heaven, need another angel, need some particular talent someone possesses, etc. I think people just don't know what to say. They want to say something that will make you feel better (without considering that what they came up with isn't based in fact). I try to remember that it is the thought that counts and when I'm the one offering sympathy to keep it to, "I'm very sorry for your loss." Just that is all that really needs to be said. And when I read about or talk to someone who believes that their loved one is now an angel or that God needed them in heaven, I think that if that gives them comfort, there's no real value in my pointing out their flawed theology.

And I am truly sorry for your loss.

[singsingsing]

I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt (some might argue too much so) but I wouldn't assume that just because Erin has complications she and Chad will limit their family size. I've just seen too many fundies with sometimes life threatening pregnancy complications still refuse to use birth control.

Look up Jen Fulwiler @ Conversion Diary for an example of someone who by her own admission sucks at NFP, has a blood clotting disorder which puts her life in jeopardy every time she gets pregnant, but gosh darn it the Pope said no birth control and arguing with the Church is the same as arguing with God (she actually said this) so she got pregnant several more times and still hasn't ruled out another.

See Bonnie @ A Knotted Life for someone terrified of getting pregnant again, whose pregnancies have put her through an incredible amount of mental anguish, who suffers from post-partum depression, can't make any method of NFP work for her, and whose marriage and sanity are by her own admission suffering as a result - who also refuses to use birth control because she's a Good Catholic.

Then of course there's Abigail Benjamin who has had multiple miscarriages, two of which were quite advanced, who is obviously mentally unstable and cannot handle the children she has, who requires a planned c-section every time she gives birth - and, you guessed it - no birth control. In fact she wasn't even using NFP until after her most recent son's birth because despite it all she was desperate for more babies!

I know I've listed three Catholic fundies, but Protestant fundies are even worse because they don't even have NFP as a valid option.

So I hope Erin and Chad choose to make use of some kind of family planning option, but I wouldn't assume anything for now.

[Mama Mia]

They really seem like lovely people. I'm grinding my teeth a little while trying to squeeze out "good for them" and I try not to think about the fact that this baby is being born into fundyland. I do not wish infertility upon Erin Paine and definitely no miscarriages, nothing what happened to this couple thus far, except the pregnancy, would I wish upon any living creature.

But I'm not pleased with the fact that another child is being born to fundamentalist parents who protest at anti abortion marches and blog about how women's right to abortion should be withdrawn, and that kid is going to grow up listening to crap like that and carry anti-abortion pickets along with his or her whackadoodle relatives. I'm prepared to be egged for this. Or, if anyone thinks that there's hope for this people to raise a tolerant child that won't spew crap on people that have it hard enough already, or won't be trained and brainwashed into thinking that human rights like gay marriage and abortion should be outbanned by the law, I'd be happy to be convinced to believe so...

The main concerns I have about children born to fundamentalists parents isn't the political beliefs they might hold as adults -- it's the way many of them are treated as children.

If the parents are going to follow the Pearl's and beat their children until they are mindless, timid robots -- I really fear for those children. If the parents are going to combine the beatings with an oppressive , overwhelming workload then I feel very sad for those children. Or if they are going to make them so afraid of hell that they never laugh or play or fight or doubt -- they are harming their children. If they make their oldest children be the primary emotional parents of the youngest - I think that's a horrible disservice to everyone.

I don't expect that they would have my same world view or child rearing philosophies -- but if they could avoid those extremes -- the children have a shot at a reasonably happy life.

And you never know if the children you raise will share all, some or none of your societal and political views when they grow up. Obviously the fundamentalists put a whole lot more emphasis on trying to make their kids exact replicas of their beliefs, but that doesn't mean they are mostly successful.

I don't share all the views my parents do, my kids have a range of beliefs on all sorts of different issues. That's okay, it makes for interesting discussions.

My dad was a180 degrees off from the Bates in every possible way. But equally active politically. He used to send out constant emails and being up politics all the time. He had a really, really hard time understanding that not all his grand kids were as far left as he was, and didn't always Want to go to this or that rally because they just didn't agree. Or that many people had mixed views -- some that would be considered conservative on one issue but liberal on another. I kept trying to gently explain it to him, but he just didn't get it :)

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Christians say stupid things sometimes. They (we) spout off some saying that sounds pretty but has no Biblical basis. Like, "God will never give you more than you can handle." Well, He never said that. It sounds nice to say to someone when they're going through hard times, but it isn't supported by scripture (in fact, I would argue the opposite!). God doesn't need anyone in heaven, need another angel, need some particular talent someone possesses, etc. I think people just don't know what to say. They want to say something that will make you feel better (without considering that what they came up with isn't based in fact). I try to remember that it is the thought that counts and when I'm the one offering sympathy to keep it to, "I'm very sorry for your loss." Just that is all that really needs to be said. And when I read about or talk to someone who believes that their loved one is now an angel or that God needed them in heaven, I think that if that gives them comfort, there's no real value in my pointing out their flawed theology.

And I am truly sorry for your loss.

Platitudes are the bane of my existence.

As for the "God never gives you more than you can handle," I like to refer people to Job. God allowed his life to be complete shit just cause he (God) made a bet.

[Vivi_music]

Chad defrauded me here. That is all. :embarrassed:

(Oh, and Erin looks really cute and, except for her hair, not at all fundie.)

Erin definitely found the headship jackpot with Chad! ;) ;) ;)

[usmcmom]

Erin definitely found the headship jackpot with Chad! ;) ;) ;)

Not only is he really handsome, he seems to treat her like a queen. I think he's truly in love with her and honors her. I kind of have to give kudos to Gil for allowing Erin to marry such a great guy, since Gil's the one that had final say, I assume. It makes me think of the men who turned their daughters over to the Maxwells - I can't imagine what kind of father does that to his daughter.

[Trynn]

They really seem like lovely people. I'm grinding my teeth a little while trying to squeeze out "good for them" and I try not to think about the fact that this baby is being born into fundyland. I do not wish infertility upon Erin Paine and definitely no miscarriages, nothing what happened to this couple thus far, except the pregnancy, would I wish upon any living creature.

But I'm not pleased with the fact that another child is being born to fundamentalist parents who protest at anti abortion marches and blog about how women's right to abortion should be withdrawn, and that kid is going to grow up listening to crap like that and carry anti-abortion pickets along with his or her whackadoodle relatives. I'm prepared to be egged for this. Or, if anyone thinks that there's hope for this people to raise a tolerant child that won't spew crap on people that have it hard enough already, or won't be trained and brainwashed into thinking that human rights like gay marriage and abortion should be outbanned by the law, I'd be happy to be convinced to believe so...

Even if the kid turns out to be non hateful, or the parents are fundy lite, being raised in a fundy lite environment (not even fundy, mind you) was SO damaging to me that I automatically shudder when these pregnancies happen. Why on earth would I want a kid to be born into that?

It's not just my childhood. It fucked up my entire life, and now, as an adult, trying to untangle all the lies and sort things out for myself... After about 5 Solid years of trying to deal with my problems, the. 5 more years of trying to drink myself into a coma because I don't want to deal with the pain... And I don't even know HOW.... To deal with the mess...

It is harder than anyone can imagine who hasn't gone through it.

Even fundy lite religion can fuck people up. I was raised fundy lite, an I did not turn out fine. In fact, I am one of the most fucked up people I know.

I'm not going to spew a bunch of hate about Erin and chad. I don't actively hate them, but I also have a hard time feeling happy for them.

[Trynn]

They really seem like lovely people. I'm grinding my teeth a little while trying to squeeze out "good for them" and I try not to think about the fact that this baby is being born into fundyland. I do not wish infertility upon Erin Paine and definitely no miscarriages, nothing what happened to this couple thus far, except the pregnancy, would I wish upon any living creature.

But I'm not pleased with the fact that another child is being born to fundamentalist parents who protest at anti abortion marches and blog about how women's right to abortion should be withdrawn, and that kid is going to grow up listening to crap like that and carry anti-abortion pickets along with his or her whackadoodle relatives. I'm prepared to be egged for this. Or, if anyone thinks that there's hope for this people to raise a tolerant child that won't spew crap on people that have it hard enough already, or won't be trained and brainwashed into thinking that human rights like gay marriage and abortion should be outbanned by the law, I'd be happy to be convinced to believe so...

Even if the kid turns out to be non hateful, or the parents are fundy lite, being raised in a fundy lite environment (not even fundy, mind you) was SO damaging to me that I automatically shudder when these pregnancies happen. Why on earth would I want a kid to be born into that?

It's not just my childhood. It fucked up my entire life, and now, as an adult, trying to untangle all the lies and sort things out for myself... After about 5 Solid years of trying to deal with my problems, the. 5 more years of trying to drink myself into a coma because I don't want to deal with the pain... And I don't even know HOW.... To deal with the mess...

It is harder than anyone can imagine who hasn't gone through it.

Even fundy lite religion can fuck people up. I was raised fundy lite, an I did not turn out fine. In fact, I am one of the most fucked up people I know.

I'm not going to spew a bunch of hate about Erin and chad. I don't actively hate them, but I also have a hard time feeling happy for them.

[whoviana]

Even if the kid turns out to be non hateful, or the parents are fundy lite, being raised in a fundy lite environment (not even fundy, mind you) was SO damaging to me that I automatically shudder when these pregnancies happen. Why on earth would I want a kid to be born into that?

It's not just my childhood. It fucked up my entire life, and now, as an adult, trying to untangle all the lies and sort things out for myself... After about 5 Solid years of trying to deal with my problems, the. 5 more years of trying to drink myself into a coma because I don't want to deal with the pain... And I don't even know HOW.... To deal with the mess...

It is harder than anyone can imagine who hasn't gone through it.

Even fundy lite religion can fuck people up. I was raised fundy lite, an I did not turn out fine. In fact, I am one of the most fucked up people I know.

I'm not going to spew a bunch of hate about Erin and chad. I don't actively hate them, but I also have a hard time feeling happy for them.

I don't ask you to go through my posting history, but once I briefly explained how I was the main subject to religious brainwashing in the family while the relatives with different religious backgrounds were busy fighting turf wars over my fragile mind. I was suicidal my entire life, their way of childraising and belief system didn't have a shred of consistency to it. They contradicted their own preaching with their actions every step of the way.

They profoundly f***ed me up for the rest of my life, I'm on meds and I was born unstable anyway.

I am trying to act like a functional adult in life but I don't trust people in general, I hate social events, I'm horrified at the idea of being part of a family because family to means womanslavery, control, physical, mental and spiritual abuse, limited possibilities, someone being the whipping cow, and constant fights over dominance among blood relatives. I will sooner take my life than being subjected to that one more time.

When I say that I am SORRY for what happened to you, and that I know how you feel, you must know I'm not just patting your shoulders trying to say something comforting.

edited because of riffles...

[bekkah]

Article on Erin Bates pregnancy on people.

http://www.people.com/article/bringing- ... iscarriage

Link not broken b/c its people

She says they enjoy an equal partnership and that Chad has been taking care of her. Oh, and she looks good in glasses! They do seem more normal than the average fundie couple but I also have to realize that is the scary part of them too. I hope the baby is welcomed with much love.

EDIT: Forgot to add this. They also mentioned about family size. They say they are taking it one day at a time and decisions will be made with the doctors. It sounds like they may be sensible!

[whoviana]

Article on Erin Bates pregnancy on people.

http://www.people.com/article/bringing- ... iscarriage

Link not broken b/c its people

She says they enjoy an equal partnership and that Chad has been taking care of her. Oh, and she looks good in glasses! They do seem more normal than the average fundie couple but I also have to realize that is the scary part of them too. I hope the baby is welcomed with much love.

EDIT: Forgot to add this. They also mentioned about family size. They say they are taking it one day at a time and decisions will be made with the doctors. It sounds like they may be sensible!

Finally, do Erin and Chad plan on having a brood as large as Gil and Kelly Jo's?

"With the at-risk pregnancy and everything, we want me to be able to stay healthy and that also means having a healthy baby," Erin says. "I think we're taking it one day at a time at this point and just trying to see what the doctors say and what the best decision is for us."

Now this really is comforting. It's still not Chad and Erin without "God's perspective"involved to decide the size of the family. But finally, she said they'll listen to what the doctors say. Erin! You have the privilege to blame it on the doctors before your inquisitive family. They might have stupid ideas as to why you don't qualify to be a broodmare and exhaust your uterus. Who cares. Have just one or 2 kids because the doctors said so, go back to teaching piano lessons, enjoy your life with that husband of yours that "spoils you rotten", and step away from fundieland. Trust me, the rest of your sisters will be questioned as to why they aren't pregnant already a few months after their newest kid is out.

[whoviana]

Article on Erin Bates pregnancy on people.

http://www.people.com/article/bringing- ... iscarriage

Link not broken b/c its people

She says they enjoy an equal partnership and that Chad has been taking care of her. Oh, and she looks good in glasses! They do seem more normal than the average fundie couple but I also have to realize that is the scary part of them too. I hope the baby is welcomed with much love.

EDIT: Forgot to add this. They also mentioned about family size. They say they are taking it one day at a time and decisions will be made with the doctors. It sounds like they may be sensible!

I typed while you were editing. I guess we both have found the highlight of the article. ;)