Jill Duggar Pregnant! CONFIRMED! MERGED

[PennySycamore]

There's a letter to the editor in People this week that takes them to task for having Jill and Derick on the cover when they should have had Lauren Bacall who had just died.

[Emme]

There's a letter to the editor in People this week that takes them to task for having Jill and Derick on the cover when they should have had Lauren Bacall who had just died.

Lauren Bacall vs girl who is famous because her mom has birthed a lot of kids and she had unprotected sex after her wedding and got knocked up.....

Easy decision.

[Feberin]

Jill's morning sickness is too bad for midwifery, but she can have lunch dates with her husband?

instagram.com/p/sSnfqTrs_H/

Maybe with her particular brand of nausea she can handle food more easily than bodily fluids, but this does make me sceptical about the whole, "I'll go back to my midwifery training after I'm over the morning sickness".

Also, loving the commenter who says children are a blessing, and how she has a five-month-old daughter that she and her fiancé found out about four months into their relationship. Can you imagine Jill's reaction to reading that?

I think Jill is using her morning sickness as a excuse to take a break and not return. I totally get that it's hard to work when you're suffering from morning sickness but I also know a lot of people who do continue anyways. And while the job I worked at when I was suffering from morning sickness didn't involve bodily fluids it wasn't a sit down all day sort of job either and I threw up at work more times then I can count. I was miserable but I wanted to save my leave for after the baby came. I also had a friend who was a nurse who later on laughed at the fact that all her coworkers knew if they saw her running past not to stop her because she was probably about to vomit. Perhaps Jill's morning sickness is much worse then my friend and I experienced and I did eventually give in and start taking medication after I lost like 10 lbs in a couple days and was keeping nothing down. I also wonder if Jill spends this pregnancy at home taking naps and such what a shock she's going to have when she has her second and is chasing around at most a toddler possibly still lugging around a baby.

I do think it's fine if Jill decides not to return to midwifery but if she's not going to work now then when is she going to work? I don't really see her being able to work when she has a newborn and it's highly likely that by the point the baby is a little older that she'll be pregnant again. Perhaps she'll surprise me and actually go back in a couple months when she starts feeling better for me it wasn't until 20 week and I know people for whom it lasts the whole pregnancy. Hopefully for Jill it'll end once she gets past the first trimester, which is soon. But I also wouldn't be surprised if this is her way to leave her studies without looking like she's actually giving up on them.

[trailmix2014]

I don't see the big deal. If she wants to quit or take a break, that's up to her. I took a break from my studies last year to homeschool my son, and then we ended up moving out of the county, so it was a really good decision. I have put off plenty of studies because of my kids and other personal decisions. Doesn't mean I have given them up, it just means I have put them off a bit due to more important issues.

As for the morning sickness, it an be very hard to work through.I had HG and there was no way on earth I could have worked through it. Thankfully I decided to be a SAHM when I was pg with my now 12 year old.

[Feberin]

I don't see the big deal. If she wants to quit or take a break, that's up to her. I took a break from my studies last year to homeschool my son, and then we ended up moving out of the county, so it was a really good decision. I have put off plenty of studies because of my kids and other personal decisions. Doesn't mean I have given them up, it just means I have put them off a bit due to more important issues.

As for the morning sickness, it an be very hard to work through.I had HG and there was no way on earth I could have worked through it. Thankfully I decided to be a SAHM when I was pg with my now 12 year old.

Have they said Jill has HG? I've only heard her saying that she had "all day sickness", which could be similar to what Michelle experienced and she appeared to be able to at least function during it including traveling abroad. My problem is that Jill probably isn't going to have two kids and then return to her studies. She's going to most likely spend the majority of her adult life pregnant. It's one thing to put your studies on hold for a couple years while you focus on something important but it's pretty much giving up if she doesn't return until after menopause.

[Cheetah]

I'm clearly spending too much time thinking about these people but... I had a thought:

what if someone in this culture.. e.g., Erin Bates*... really didn't want to start a family this young, but thought they had to keep up appearances. So they announced a pregnancy, followed quickly by an early miscarriage. Then nothing, for 2,3, 4 years. They'd look like they were having fertility issues, rather than that they were (gasp) using birth control.

(*not saying Erin did this.. just giving her as an example of someone who looks like they are following the rules of their culture, but who knows...)

[Toothfairy]

Lauren Bacall vs girl who is famous because her mom has birthed a lot of kids and she had unprotected sex after her wedding and got knocked up.....

Easy decision.

sex sells. I doubt people magazine subscribers care.

[Toothfairy]

I think Jill took up midwifery to keep her busy. It was something she did as an extracurricular activity. It caught her interest. It's too bad she can't make a career out of it. I hope she does go back if that's what she's wants with real training. But since she's fundie I think she might stay at home at raise kids because once you're married your duty is to pop out as many babies as possible.

[Coconut Flan]

But since she's fundie I think she might stay at home at raise kids because once you're married your duty is to pop out as many babies as possible.

I think we've begun blurring the lines on the fundies (not just this post), but not all fundies are quiverful. Most of the fundies we talk about here seem to be, but they don't have to be.

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

Have they said Jill has HG? I've only heard her saying that she had "all day sickness", which could be similar to what Michelle experienced and she appeared to be able to at least function during it including traveling abroad. My problem is that Jill probably isn't going to have two kids and then return to her studies. She's going to most likely spend the majority of her adult life pregnant. It's one thing to put your studies on hold for a couple years while you focus on something important but it's pretty much giving up if she doesn't return until after menopause.

You said, "my problem is...." I think that's kinda the point of some of the comments on this thread. Why should any of us have a problem with her wanting to quit working and have a bunch of kids. She shouldn't have to answer to us, just as we shouldn't have to answer to her. I'm not trying to be slappy, I just really don't get why anybody cares if she's going to stop working. If she was just an average girl, who planned to quit her job and stay at home to raise two kids, would everyone be all up in arms about it?

[Odd1Out]

I'm clearly spending too much time thinking about these people but... I had a thought:

what if someone in this culture.. e.g., Erin Bates*... really didn't want to start a family this young, but thought they had to keep up appearances. So they announced a pregnancy, followed quickly by an early miscarriage. Then nothing, for 2,3, 4 years. They'd look like they were having fertility issues, rather than that they were (gasp) using birth control.

(*not saying Erin did this.. just giving her as an example of someone who looks like they are following the rules of their culture, but who knows...)

Someone definitely could.

But Erin didn't. She had to have a D&C, kind of hard to fake.

[Hisey]

I don't think Jill ever intended to quit. I think she planned on taking a month off to settle into married life. Then she got pregnant so quickly and started having bad morning sickness she decided to put it off a little longer. Personally I don't see anything wrong with her taking some time off after getting married. This is a huge adjustment for her. It's not like most couples who where living together or spending all their time alone together before getting married. Plus Jill's midwife training is odd hours. She can be gone all night at a birth frequently. She didn't want to start her married life with missing dinners/evenings with Derick. She wanted to be able to settle into married life without the added stress of being on call for a birth. I don't see anything wrong with that. I know plenty of people that took a semester off from school for one reason or another who were very serious about there careers/studies. Erin Bates also took a semester off to get married and then went back and finished so I don't see any reason why Jill won't finish either.

I know, of all the things to criticize Jill Duggar for, taking a couple of months off work is not one of them.

We say repeatedly here that these newly married fundie girls are going through a lot. If it helps them to reduce one stress, what is the big deal? Ultimately, like the rest of us, they want their marriages to succeed, and taking off work is one socially-acceptable thing they can do.

It's not like she can say, "Derrick, since we just got married and I am working FT, why don't you handle the cooking and I'll clean, plus let's limit sex to weekends because I am so pooped after work. And be sure to use a rubber, because the last thing we need is a baby now." They don't' have that option, so they have this one instead.

[chaotic life]

It's really common for lay midwifery apprentices to start and stop their training if they are doing so while they are in childbearing years themselves. Since it is an apprenticeship, they have a lot of flexibility that a nurse midwife or a midwife doing a formal training program (and they do have them in some areas of the country) would never have.

Most of the midwifery apprentices I have known work as much as they can during pregnancy because they tend to take 6-12 months off after the baby comes to exclusively breastfeed their own babies.

My guess is that Jill cannot decide what she's going to do. She may very well want to finish her midwifery training. And once the training is done, it's actually fairly easy to be a fundie and QF and still be a midwife, because they simply don't take clients who are due at times they themselves cannot attend the births due to their own birthing issues, and they tend to do prenatals in their own homes. However, getting her training done is going to be complicated and Jill is going to have a lot of pressure that it's not okay from her family.

When I had my first baby, I couldn't imagine HOW I could have balanced my career and training with caring for that newborn. *Now* I look back and want to kick myself in the rear end. I nearly lost my career because the idea if working night-shift two nights per week seemed overwhelming to me as a new mother. I saved my career, but it took a lot of years and a lot of work to repair what I did in those first years when I didn't know how to balance and every person in my life was highly pressuring me to give up that career and my dreams.

Maybe Derrick will encourage her to find that balance and continue with her dreams. Or maybe he will be one of the voices telling her to walk away. Finding that balance in a world that tells her it's impossible is not going to be easy for her. It will take a lot of determination and courage. It may also take some maturity she doesn't have right now.

[Mama Mia]

I think Jill is using her morning sickness as a excuse to take a break and not return. I totally get that it's hard to work when you're suffering from morning sickness but I also know a lot of people who do continue anyways. And while the job I worked at when I was suffering from morning sickness didn't involve bodily fluids it wasn't a sit down all day sort of job either and I threw up at work more times then I can count. I was miserable but I wanted to save my leave for after the baby came. I also had a friend who was a nurse who later on laughed at the fact that all her coworkers knew if they saw her running past not to stop her because she was probably about to vomit. Perhaps Jill's morning sickness is much worse then my friend and I experienced and I did eventually give in and start taking medication after I lost like 10 lbs in a couple days and was keeping nothing down. I also wonder if Jill spends this pregnancy at home taking naps and such what a shock she's going to have when she has her second and is chasing around at most a toddler possibly still lugging around a baby.

I do think it's fine if Jill decides not to return to midwifery but if she's not going to work now then when is she going to work? I don't really see her being able to work when she has a newborn and it's highly likely that by the point the baby is a little older that she'll be pregnant again. Perhaps she'll surprise me and actually go back in a couple months when she starts feeling better for me it wasn't until 20 week and I know people for whom it lasts the whole pregnancy. Hopefully for Jill it'll end once she gets past the first trimester, which is soon. But I also wouldn't be surprised if this is her way to leave her studies without looking like she's actually giving up on them.

I'm sorry, but that's a really obnoxious attitude, IMHO. I HATE the whole competitive, macho pregnancy thing many women buy in to. You have 0 idea how sick she is relative to how sick you were. Or what her other pregnancy symptoms are. Because she's up to going out to lunch with her husband occasionally doesn't mean she's up to attending long and difficult labors or performing other physically demanding tasks. And really, if you were in labor would you WANT a mid-wife who was vomiting constantly? If she's this ill it could very likely be the reason they announced so quickly-- it's hard to hide if you end up in the ER for dehydration or if she's at a public event and running to vomit every 2 minutes.

The whole idea that women have to show how tough they are and how hard they can work during pregnancy, even if they are feeling like shit, does a real disservice and can harm the health of women and children.

[alba]

I'm sorry, but that's a really obnoxious attitude, IMHO. I HATE the whole competitive, macho pregnancy thing many women buy in to. You have 0 idea how sick she is relative to how sick you were. Or what her other pregnancy symptoms are. Because she's up to going out to lunch with her husband occasionally doesn't mean she's up to attending long and difficult labors or performing other physically demanding tasks. And really, if you were in labor would you WANT a mid-wife who was vomiting constantly? If she's this ill it could very likely be the reason they announced so quickly-- it's hard to hide if you end up in the ER for dehydration or if she's at a public event and running to vomit every 2 minutes.

The whole idea that women have to show how tough they are and how hard they can work during pregnancy, even if they are feeling like shit, does a real disservice and can harm the health of women and children.

What? I didn't say she had to work while feeling ill; it's just that she seemed so passionate about her midwifery that it seems odd to me that she's completely put it on hold over what doesn't seem to be debilitating sickness. I'd have thought she'd be trying to complete the book learning portion or something like that. I WANT to believe that she took a couple of weeks off for the honeymoon/settling into her new life, then the vomiting started, and she really will go back to her studies when she's feeling better. That's part of the reason I posted about this, to hear opinions from women with more experience with morning sickness (and I appreciate your perspective on that matter), because it struck me as odd. I'm sorry to have offended you; that wasn't my intention.

You make a good point about the early announcement. IIRC the Duchess of Cambridge's pregnancy was made public when she was admitted to hospital, and it's entirely possible Jill and Derick saw this as a possibility and wanted to make the announcement on their terms. If Jill's illness really was that bad, then perhaps her recent lunch date is a sign that she's feeling better.

[lascuba]

I don't have a problem with her quitting midwifery, since it was obvious that's what she was going to do. I have a problem with her lying about her reasons for doing so and with so many, once again, believing her and making up all sort of random theories so they can still believe that Jill is awesome.

The Duggars routinely downplay just how religious and patriarchal they are so they can appeal to as wide an audience as possible. They do this so they can lure people in, so they can appear safe and not so bad to people who aren't batshit. People constantly talk about how their homeschooling is bullshit and those kids will never--could never--get into college. Enter College Plus, which hey, it's something, right? Then there was the talk about College Plus being just for show, especially for the girl since they're never going to do anything with an education. Enter Jill lay midwifery studies that includes no classroom time and a teacher midwife who's conveniently fundie. Now we have "proof" that the girls are allowed to have ambitions and hope that Jill--long the enthusiastic cheerleader of the Duggar clan--is a secret rebel who's brilliantly playing her parents and will be the one to escape the lifestyle. Oh, bet then she gets married after knowing a guy for a few mmonths and gets immediately pregnant. Oh, it's just that the morning sickness must be really bad, and it's SO HARD being newly married and financially secure, you guys! Of COURSE she'll go back to midwifery, just as soon as her morning sickness goes away.

We know the rules that the Duggars live by, and yet people insist on believing that they're not as bad as those rules tell us they must be. I'm a lot more patient with the religious people who believe them or give them a pass on everything than I am with the moderates and non-religious people here who do, because it's the people who supposedly know better that allow them to gain a foothold and have major influence on voters and those with political power, because they're not that bad, right?

One more thing, about those who ask if we'd criticize other women who take time off...these decisions aren't made in a vacuum. It's not like Jill grew up in an egalitarian utopia with a real education and career and a whole lot of options. Her "decision" to not work is absolutely fair game for criticism and discussion. It doesn't even matter if we had a way to know definitively that she'd actually make that choice with a plethora of options available...we live in the world we do, and Jill's world is infinitely worse for women. She should absolutely do what she wants, but those choices shouldn't be exempt from analysis. If the day ever comes when women have equal access to education, job opportunities and equal pay, when we've had generations of men deciding to say home with the kids in equal numbers that women do, then we can say it's just a personal choice.

[momof2treasures]

Lucky Jill, she has the option to to take it easy right now. I actually faced the opposite pressures in my family and with my Inlaws. Every woman in both sides are working mothers and it's looked down on to be a sahm. I can imagine the pressure is tough from either end.

[formergothardite]

You said, "my problem is...." I think that's kinda the point of some of the comments on this thread. Why should any of us have a problem with her wanting to quit working and have a bunch of kids. She shouldn't have to answer to us, just as we shouldn't have to answer to her. I'm not trying to be slappy, I just really don't get why anybody cares if she's going to stop working. If she was just an average girl, who planned to quit her job and stay at home to raise two kids, would everyone be all up in arms about it?

I think people are discussing it more than they would an average woman who quit her job because the way she was raised probably makes her feel like stopping is the only option. Like I tried to tell CnD in the other thread, when you have been brainwashed since birth to think you only have one option it is hard to see that you actually have choices. Can you imagine how Michelle and Jim Bob would treat her if she decided being a SAHM wasn't for her? That she wanted to put her child in daycare? Limit her children? Use public school? I bet she can't even begin to wrap her mind around any of these things as even being options because of the way she was raised and how she knows her parents would treat her if she chose them.

[Feberin]

I don't have a problem with her quitting midwifery, since it was obvious that's what she was going to do. I have a problem with her lying about her reasons for doing so and with so many, once again, believing her and making up all sort of random theories so they can still believe that Jill is awesome.

The Duggars routinely downplay just how religious and patriarchal they are so they can appeal to as wide an audience as possible. They do this so they can lure people in, so they can appear safe and not so bad to people who aren't batshit. People constantly talk about how their homeschooling is bullshit and those kids will never--could never--get into college. Enter College Plus, which hey, it's something, right? Then there was the talk about College Plus being just for show, especially for the girl since they're never going to do anything with an education. Enter Jill lay midwifery studies that includes no classroom time and a teacher midwife who's conveniently fundie. Now we have "proof" that the girls are allowed to have ambitions and hope that Jill--long the enthusiastic cheerleader of the Duggar clan--is a secret rebel who's brilliantly playing her parents and will be the one to escape the lifestyle. Oh, bet then she gets married after knowing a guy for a few mmonths and gets immediately pregnant. Oh, it's just that the morning sickness must be really bad, and it's SO HARD being newly married and financially secure, you guys! Of COURSE she'll go back to midwifery, just as soon as her morning sickness goes away.

We know the rules that the Duggars live by, and yet people insist on believing that they're not as bad as those rules tell us they must be. I'm a lot more patient with the religious people who believe them or give them a pass on everything than I am with the moderates and non-religious people here who do, because it's the people who supposedly know better that allow them to gain a foothold and have major influence on voters and those with political power, because they're not that bad, right?

One more thing, about those who ask if we'd criticize other women who take time off...these decisions aren't made in a vacuum. It's not like Jill grew up in an egalitarian utopia with a real education and career and a whole lot of options. Her "decision" to not work is absolutely fair game for criticism and discussion. It doesn't even matter if we had a way to know definitively that she'd actually make that choice with a plethora of options available...we live in the world we do, and Jill's world is infinitely worse for women. She should absolutely do what she wants, but those choices shouldn't be exempt from analysis. If the day ever comes when women have equal access to education, job opportunities and equal pay, when we've had generations of men deciding to say home with the kids in equal numbers that women do, then we can say it's just a personal choice.

Thank you for summing up my issues much better then me. And I said several times that I have no idea exactly how bad Jill's morning sickness is for her. I merely was saying that I know a lot of women who push through despite feeling like crap during the first trimester. If Jill wants to take off that's fine but I think this is the beginning of the end for her midwife career.

[church_of_dog]

I think people are discussing it more than they would an average woman who quit her job because the way she was raised probably makes her feel like stopping is the only option. Like I tried to tell CnD in the other thread, when you have been brainwashed since birth to think you only have one option it is hard to see that you actually have choices. Can you imagine how Michelle and Jim Bob would treat her if she decided being a SAHM wasn't for her? That she wanted to put her child in daycare? Limit her children? Use public school? I bet she can't even begin to wrap her mind around any of these things as even being options because of the way she was raised and how she knows her parents would treat her if she chose them.

I agree with what you've said here. And to take it a step farther, I think that even if Jill *was* going to make some decisions that are outside the boundaries of what her family's "brand" is (such as limit the number of kids, or even space them out intentionally by using birth control), she is very unlikely to *announce* that decision.

I mean, unless she *wanted* to be seen as separating herself, openly rejecting the QF life -- which is certainly possible, but strikes me as highly unlikely. I think that in addition to whatever her intentions are re the QF lifestyle, any veering she does from the publicly-touted path is going to be done quietly and as non-auspiciously as possible. Kind of like Josh wearing shorts or the girls' skirts creeping up to knee-revealing level. She might even think that by the time any decision (about birth control, let's say) becomes apparent to the general viewing public, it would be a few kids down the road and perhaps they wouldn't be in the spotlight anymore.

Of course we don't know what's in their minds, but it seems pretty apparent to me that there is a big difference between escapee/tell-all author (unlikely no matter how much we wish) and a gradual, quiet rounding of the corners of some of the rules.

[Stacie]

Thanks. This was our 6th pregnancy all via infertility treatment. I have 1 miracle baby who is almost 2. It's still pretty raw so I definitely rolled my eyes extra hard this morning ha.

I'm so sorry for your loss. We only have one (very awesome kid...now 17). I always wanted more, but we waited too long after he was born and it didn't happen. I just assumed it would happen and never looked into fertility. I'm 46 now and would still love another one. Take care:)

[Mama Mia]

I merely was saying that I know a lot of women who push through despite feeling like crap during the first trimester.

That right there is the attitude that I think is really anti-woman. Do lots of women push through and keep working despite feeling absolutely horrible? Of course, if they aren't so ill they end up hospitalized. But do you think most of them have a real choice? No. They do it because they'll lose their means to support their family, or they'll use up the very, very limited amount of maternity leave they may have ( if they are fortunate enough to have it) , or they feel they have to in order to meet the expectations of society or show how tough they are.

People have this idea that throughout history and across cultures women sailed through easy pregnancies, gave birth in a field and went right back to work. Of course there are some women who can do this- who have easy pregnancies and birth and any morning sickness can be cured with ginger ale. But that's how a lot of people picture all women ----And if they had any difficulties-- like severe morning sickness-- they just ate some crackers and soldiered through. That is not the reality. Historically, the only cultures and groups who don't make allowances for pregnant and postpartum women who need care and rest, are groups where the people are so impoverished they need everyone's labor to survive - or so under the thumb of an oppressor they have no choice. And women and infants in those situations have high morbidity and mortality rates. But for some reason in modern day middle-class society we've chosen to embrace this idea that women who power through pregnancy ( especially a difficult one) and delivery without it impacting their work schedule are some kind of hero. What weird priorities.

If she feels like shit and has the means and the support to not have to work while puking every 20 minutes-- good for her! Every woman should be able to do that.

[Feberin]

That right there is the attitude that I think is really anti-woman. Do lots of women push through and keep working despite feeling absolutely horrible? Of course, if they aren't so ill they end up hospitalized. But do you think most of them have a real choice? No. They do it because they'll lose their means to support their family, or they'll use up the very, very limited amount of maternity leave they may have ( if they are fortunate enough to have it) , or they feel they have to in order to meet the expectations of society or show how tough they are.

People have this idea that throughout history and across cultures women sailed through easy pregnancies, gave birth in a field and went right back to work. Of course there are some women who can do this- who have easy pregnancies and birth and any morning sickness can be cured with ginger ale. But that's how a lot of people picture all women ----And if they had any difficulties-- like severe morning sickness-- they just ate some crackers and soldiered through. That is not the reality. Historically, the only cultures and groups who don't make allowances for pregnant and postpartum women who need care and rest, are groups where the people are so impoverished they need everyone's labor to survive - or so under the thumb of an oppressor they have no choice. And women and infants in those situations have high morbidity and mortality rates. But for some reason in modern day middle-class society we've chosen to embrace this idea that women who power through pregnancy ( especially a difficult one) and delivery without it impacting their work schedule are some kind of hero. What weird priorities.

If she feels like shit and has the means and the support to not have to work while puking every 20 minutes-- good for her! Every woman should be able to do that.

Jill Is very lucky that she has the option to stay at home when she isn't feeling up to it but most women don't have that option. And it's not some middle class idea in fact I would be willing to bet working class women tend to be forced to work through their pregnancies more than middle or upper class women. And this isn't just limited to pregnant women. I believe most workers in the US don't get sick leave and are forced to show up well feeling ill or not get paid. You are right that it would be wonderful if our society allowed people to have paid time off for illness but I don't see why we should applaud women who are privileged enough to take time off and rest.

[Mama Mia]

Jill Is very lucky that she has the option to stay at home when she isn't feeling up to it but most women don't have that option. And it's not some middle class idea in fact I would be willing to bet working class women tend to be forced to work through their pregnancies more than middle or upper class women. And this isn't just limited to pregnant women. I believe most workers in the US don't get sick leave and are forced to show up well feeling ill or not get paid. You are right that it would be wonderful if our society allowed people to have paid time off for illness but I don't see why we should applaud women who are privileged enough to take time off and rest.

Yeah, obviously working class and poor women are more likely to have to keep working no matter how crappy they feel. I meant that it's modern middle class society that acts like its some achievement, or they are winning the mommy competition, if they keep working without a break even if they are vomiting to the point of dehydration, or back in the office days after giving birth.

We don't need to applaud Jill for being fortunate enough to have the resources to stay home and take care of herself if she's miserable.....but it's ridiculous and harmful to act like she's somehow shirking her duties or is lazy or spoiled or making excuses if she doesn't keep on working and studying while pregnant.

Seriously, that whole mindset just so completely plays into the hands of the people with power who want to keep the U.S. status quo of not giving adequate maternity leave. And it certainly is a patriarchal assholes wet dream......it doesn't matter how much Mrs. Fundie is puking--- she should still be able to keep a clean house, cook, and care for a bazillion kids with no help , because other women manage.

[Feberin]

Yeah, obviously working class and poor women are more likely to have to keep working no matter how crappy they feel. I meant that it's modern middle class society that acts like its some achievement, or they are winning the mommy competition, if they keep working without a break even if they are vomiting to the point of dehydration, or back in the office days after giving birth.

We don't need to applaud Jill for being fortunate enough to have the resources to stay home and take care of herself if she's miserable.....but it's ridiculous and harmful to act like she's somehow shirking her duties or is lazy or spoiled or making excuses if she doesn't keep on working and studying while pregnant.

Seriously, that whole mindset just so completely plays into the hands of the people with power who want to keep the U.S. status quo of not giving adequate maternity leave. And it certainly is a patriarchal assholes wet dream......it doesn't matter how much Mrs. Fundie is puking--- she should still be able to keep a clean house, cook, and care for a bazillion kids with no help , because other women manage.

I don't think middle class women work while feeling like crap because they think they're better mothers. Honestly if they are risking dehydration then that's not good for the fetus. I would imagine most middle class women are working because they're options are pretty slim. They most likely are continuing to work because they either loose pay, time off after the baby or looking like a poor employee and being passed over for promotions. Perhaps they'll be able to take a day off here or there when it's especially bad but taking two full months off definitely is a privilege.

And I actually think a patriarch's wet dream would be the idea that he knocked up Mrs. Fundie so now she can't work outside the home studying something she loves and instead will be at home. I think it would be great if the U.S. started offering paid maternity leave for all employees but I doubt it will happen anytime soon.