Jill Duggar and Derick Dillard Engaged! - Part 2

[lascuba]

I don't why I have to keep pointing out that I never ONCE said that every person has to have sex by a certain age and that there's an issue with every single person who hasn't. There are always exceptions to everything. I really don't need to hear anecdote upon anecdote upon anecdote--they change nothing, because I already know that there are tons of exceptions to my very general beliefs about the AVERAGE not-even-kissed-anyone virgin.

The choice to wait until marriage is not one that's made in vacuum. It doesn't make it wrong, but if people hadn't grown up in a society that still feels the affect of a legacy of generations upon generations with the belief that marriage is the way, would they have that desire if they're truly not religious? Probably not.

[javafriend]

I apologize if this has been said somewhere else recently - I can't keep up with all the threads right now!- But I've been wanting to point out that it is quite possible that the two future Duggar son-in-laws are very much invested in following in JB and Michelle's footsteps.

The most zealous religious folks I've ever known were new converts. These guys came from more mainstream Christian backgrounds but JB is now letting them marry his daughters. I think it is very possible that they've totally bought into the myth that the Duggars have the secret to being a perfect Christian and having a perfect Christian family. If adhereing to the 7 non-optional principles and 24 rules of whatever leads to obtaining a pretty, submissive wife and a TV gig, it has to be the work of God, right?

Time will tell. But these young men may end up being even more into the crazy than the Duggar girls.

[Rescinded and Mended]

Oh goodness, I hope not! We only ended things about 5 months ago, so unless your marriage was quick even by fundie terms... :)

But I do feel your pain. Why does he even need a special towel for his head?!? He has super short hair! I don't and I have long hair!

I'm glad someone else does it though. I seriously thought my ex was the only person in the world who would do that!

:lol: No, Mr. R&M and I have been together for quite a few years, so I guess my guy is different from yours. Maybe they're related, though. He also uses an extra towel just for his head, and while his hair is longish, it's thin, so I don't get that, either. Especially when he uses one of those body sheet towels just for his head. My hair is twice as long and thick as his, and I never use that second towel! Still have no idea what the third towel is for, though...I guess guys are crazy when it comes to bath time. ;)

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I don't why I have to keep pointing out that I never ONCE said that every person has to have sex by a certain age and that there's an issue with every single person who hasn't. There are always exceptions to everything. I really don't need to hear anecdote upon anecdote upon anecdote--they change nothing, because I already know that there are tons of exceptions to my very general beliefs about the AVERAGE not-even-kissed-anyone virgin.

The choice to wait until marriage is not one that's made in vacuum. It doesn't make it wrong, but if people hadn't grown up in a society that still feels the affect of a legacy of generations upon generations with the belief that marriage is the way, would they have that desire if they're truly not religious? Probably not.

You keep saying you don't believe that about every person and then make generalizations that say you believe it about every person. Also there's no such thing as an "average" person who is a virgin. Some are virgins because of their beliefs, some because they haven't had the opportunity, some because when the opportunity presented itself they decided not to go through with it, some because the person they were with didn't turn them on, some because they were too turned on and they ruined the moment, some because they're uncomfortable with their sexuality, some because they are uncomfortable with their body, some because they're terrified of unplanned pregnancies, some because they've been too busy to have time for relationships, some because they're victims of abuse and have trouble trusting others, some because they're abusive and haven't found the right victim yet, some because they've witnessed their parents or other family member make bad decisions relating to sex and sexual partners, some because they're afraid of STIs and want to limit their chance of contracting one, etc. You can't generalize and say "if they're virgins it's likely that they're from a society that sexually oppresses them," "there's something wrong with them," or "they're super religious."

If you said "chances are someone who is attending a seminary, is in his 20s, and is a virgin, it's for religious reasons," no one would have batted an eye. But you made a general statement pertaining to all people who are virgins.

[fiery redhead]

I would really be careful making that kind of assumption. The vast majority of older virgins don't go around discussing the whys and hows of their situation. The ones who talk about it the most are the ones who, like fundies, fetishize and obsess over virginity.

I never understood purity rings. I am an unmarried Christian and never had a desire to get one, and yes, many other Christians think that weird. I should just start saying "You know, I should get a purity ring, then I'll pierce my tongue to remind me to be truthful, and pierce my eyebrow to remind me to discern what I see" etc. They'll probably walk away. Anyways, my point is, why overly prioritize certain convictions?

It's always fun to ask someone if they are engaged when they have one :) and besides, I would never want to wear a ring with a stone or jewel on it on my left ring finger right now, because it would look like I am engaged or married, which I am not.

[Coconut Flan]

Still have no idea what the third towel is for, though...I guess guys are crazy when it comes to bath time.

I know what my guy did with the third towel when he used one. He put it down over the bathmat to step out of the shower onto it. I use hotel style bathmats and wash them often so why was always mystery to me and he didn't do it all the time nor in relation to how recently the mat had been washed.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I never understood purity rings. I am an unmarried Christian and never had a desire to get one, and yes, many other Christians think that weird. I should just start saying "You know, I should get a purity ring, then I'll pierce my tongue to remind me to be truthful, and pierce my eyebrow to remind me to discern what I see" etc. They'll probably walk away. Anyways, my point is, why overly prioritize certain convictions?

It's always fun to ask someone if they are engaged when they have one :) and besides, I would never want to wear a ring with a stone or jewel on it on my left ring finger right now, because it would look like I am engaged or married, which I am not.

In high school, my friends and I each picked a very unassuming ring (mine was a gold one with two hearts that my grandmother had given to me years before) and called them our chastity rings. We wore them on our right hand though. And for us "chastity" wasn't until marriage, but a pledge to ourselves that we wouldn't have sex until we felt ready to. I think it was nice having that because I knew that at least some of my friends wouldn't be pressuring me to have sex just cause we were in high school.

I had a friend whose parents made her take a purity pledge before college. She had a whole event for it and her dad gave her a ring with a HUGE diamond in the middle. She never took it seriously though. Once her parents were gone, the ring was off and she was having sex all the time.

Anyways. Those are my only two experience with them. Haha.

As for why they have big stones and are on their left hand, a lot of these girls are being introduced to guys, not hunting for them. So, the guys aren't saying "crap she's got a ring."

[jegebramaca]

Aren't they worth 4million dollars? Selfish people.

I never got the impression that they were begging for blessings, but that they added their address because there are probably tons of people who email them asking for it. It's not like it says "please send us gifts here" lol

[lascuba]

You keep saying you don't believe that about every person and then make generalizations that say you believe it about every person. Also there's no such thing as an "average" person who is a virgin. Some are virgins because of their beliefs, some because they haven't had the opportunity, some because when the opportunity presented itself they decided not to go through with it, some because the person they were with didn't turn them on, some because they were too turned on and they ruined the moment, some because they're uncomfortable with their sexuality, some because they are uncomfortable with their body, some because they're terrified of unplanned pregnancies, some because they've been too busy to have time for relationships, some because they're victims of abuse and have trouble trusting others, some because they're abusive and haven't found the right victim yet, some because they've witnessed their parents or other family member make bad decisions relating to sex and sexual partners, some because they're afraid of STIs and want to limit their chance of contracting one, etc. You can't generalize and say "if they're virgins it's likely that they're from a society that sexually oppresses them," "there's something wrong with them," or "they're super religious."

If you said "chances are someone who is attending a seminary, is in his 20s, and is a virgin, it's for religious reasons," no one would have batted an eye. But you made a general statement pertaining to all people who are virgins.

No, I don't. You keep reading that because you apparently can't distinguish between a talk about groups and a talk about individuals. There's no such thing as average? Seriously? I guess sociology and psychology and public health and a whole bunch of other fields of study should just be abolished then, since apparently, it's impossible to see certain trends by studying large groups of people.

The really funny thing is that so many (NOT ALL FOR THE LOVE OF ALL DEITIES!) of the anecdotes here claiming that they or their friends reasons for being a virgins don't align with my opinion actually totally do. Religious reasons? Check. Super shy and socially awkward? How does that not fall under issues? Just not interested in sex? That doesn't sound like low sex drive to you guys?

Considering I never once said that being a virgin is a bad thing, I think many of you are projecting your own insecurities. Respond to what I actually say, please, not to what you hear because you're defensive.

[fiery redhead]

In high school, my friends and I each picked a very unassuming ring (mine was a gold one with two hearts that my grandmother had given to me years before) and called them our chastity rings. We wore them on our right hand though. And for us "chastity" wasn't until marriage, but a pledge to ourselves that we wouldn't have sex until we felt ready to. I think it was nice having that because I knew that at least some of my friends wouldn't be pressuring me to have sex just cause we were in high school.

I had a friend whose parents made her take a purity pledge before college. She had a whole event for it and her dad gave her a ring with a HUGE diamond in the middle. She never took it seriously though. Once her parents were gone, the ring was off and she was having sex all the time.

Anyways. Those are my only two experience with them. Haha.

As for why they have big stones and are on their left hand, a lot of these girls are being introduced to guys, not hunting for them. So, the guys aren't saying "crap she's got a ring."

Interesting. I am certainly respect how people choose to show their convictions, I just think it's funny how many Christians do obsess on virginity. That is true, they are not hunting. I do not think that anybody can expect to meet someone in a perfect way, but for some of these girls they HAVE to meet guys approved by the parents.

[16strong]

Since nobody will read this because they're all too busy arguing over virginity, I'm just going to make myself a pina colada and enjoy a hot guy or two while I wait the fight out. Nothing to see here. Resume your normal schedule.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Interesting. I am certainly respect how people choose to show their convictions, I just think it's funny how many Christians do obsess on virginity. That is true, they are not hunting. I do not think that anybody can expect to meet someone in a perfect way, but for some of these girls they HAVE to meet guys approved by the parents.

I think it's big for fundie Christians and worth flaunting cause they want people to know how godly they are. Many of these Christians fail to realize/remember that Jesus did not hang out with the godly people.

[actuallyjessica]

i'm not usually one to object to topics deraling from their original subject, but c'mon guys, this is boring.

[LogansMama]

i'm not usually one to object to topics deraling from their original subject, but c'mon guys, this is boring.

agreed

[Rescinded and Mended]

We could always split the difference and put the bath towels on some hot, virgin guys.

[16strong]

We could always split the difference and put the bath towels on some hot, virgin guys.

Can anyone photoshop some bath towels onto the (in)famous picture of Lawson and Nathan? :lol:

[Rescinded and Mended]

Can anyone photoshop some bath towels onto the (in)famous picture of Lawson and Nathan? :lol:

You beat me to it, that is exactly where my brain went when I was thinking about the bath towels!

But alas, I lack the photoshopping skills necessary for such an endeavor... :lol:

[singsingsing]

Not to get away from the epic virginity fight (most of which I haven't read, and considering I may have kind of started it, I'M SORRY :lol:) but I'm looking forward to getting more info about Jill's wedding. Still no location on the site? How many of her sisters will be bridesmaids, and will she have any non-sisters in the ranks? Considering Derick has only one brother, will she go for less attendants, or maybe he has a bunch of friends/cousins he could select to even the lines out?

I find Jill quite interesting. She's the one many of us think has drunk the most kool-aid, but there's more to her. She seems like the most intelligent of the four older sisters. She's very driven and definitely not reserved. She's the least modest dresser out of all of them. Maybe she'll never get away from fundamentalism, but I don't know... if any of them might sway at least fundie lite, I think it might be Jill and Dill.

[bal maiden]

I'm pretty sure I have found Jill's Pinterest page: http://gb.pinterest.com/ipreferatext/ name 'Jilly Dilly'

The reason I think it's hers is that a) it's followed by Venessa Giron, her midwifery mentor, and b) Venessa has a lot of the same pictures as Jilly Dilly under a 'wedding planning' board.

[Queen Of Hearts]

I'm pretty sure I have found Jill's Pinterest page: http://gb.pinterest.com/ipreferatext/ name 'Jilly Dilly'

The reason I think it's hers is that a) it's followed by Venessa Giron, her midwifery mentor, and b) Venessa has a lot of the same pictures as Jilly Dilly under a 'wedding planning' board.

I think you could be right. Look at the wedding dress - it's modest (and also very pretty, I might add)! Most of the bridesmaid dresses are also modest.

[bal maiden]

Not sure about the mint & peach colour scheme though :S

[Coconut Flan]

Seems like it. There's a Holt follower also.

That's an interesting skirt on the wedding gown. Not my style, but it's current. Pastel lacey bridesmaid dresses. Again different from what we usually see.

[FJismyheadship]

I love the dress she pinned.

[bal maiden]

This profile 'Janny Nalon' http://gb.pinterest.com/jannynal/following/ has a 'Jilly Dilly' board, so also guessing Jill has been using someone else's Pinterest for a while (Jana's?!). There are several similar modest dresses and more mint colour scheme on there. Janny Nalon also follows Whitney Bates, Erin and Alyssa Bates (also a Cathy Dillard - Is that a relation to Derick?).

[LogansMama]

This profile 'Janny Nalon' http://gb.pinterest.com/jannynal/following/ has a 'Jilly Dilly' board, so also guessing Jill has been using someone else's Pinterest for a while (Jana's?!). There are several similar modest dresses and more mint colour scheme on there. Janny Nalon also follows Whitney Bates, Erin and Alyssa Bates (also a Cathy Dillard - Is that a relation to Derick?).

WOW! Awesome detective work!! I'm impressed! I'm off to jump into a rabbit hole.