Jill Duggar and Derick Dillard Engaged! - Part 2

[Mama Mia]

Can we please try to remember that what we see of these people is only how they appear on camera? Take a naturally reserved and less romantically inclined person like Jessa, put her in front of a camera and tell her to talk about her new (first!) relationship with a guy. While said guy and her parents and ten siblings and a film crew are all staring at her. I think her reaction is pretty natural.

I completely disagree with the idea that Ben means to 'save' Jessa. Ben is the genuine fundie here. I think he will just get more extreme whereas Jessa I'm not so sure about. I don't believe she wants that lifestyle. We'll see what she does about it, if anything.

Hey Kristen Stewart is around Jessa's age, has a similar look, and also only has one facial expression and she's made bank off of it. I think Jessa is very similar.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

You may have 150 followers you don't know, but Janny Nalon has about 20 followers all together, which leads me to believe she knows her followers. I knew my followers when I didn't have that many. And yes, Jana may not be the only connection...but it is awfully interesting that Jana's sister's future MIL and a coworker at the ministry are following Janny Nalon when she doesn't have many followers. Especially when we know the Dillards aren't ATI-and that Janny Nalon has a Jilly Dilly board. And I do put stock into the fact that Janny Nalon is Jana because of the reasons stated above, and the fact that I don't automatically follow every relative I have on pinterest. Jana was likely pinning ideas to show to Jill, the same color schemes and the shabby chic/rustic decor is all over other boards about Jill's wedding.

Cathy Dillard only follows one board: Jilly Dilly. All that varifies is that Jilly Dilly is most likely Jill.

[actuallyjessica]

i think re: ben bob & jessa.... the episodes were shot months ago. they're looking more comfortable now. we'll see how this pans out. but, i gotta say this - his family gives me the heeby jeebies. wolves in sheeps clothing.

[VVV]

New blog post up on Original Duggar Family Blog- says that Jill and Derick agree, they both want to have as many children as God will give them

Could they really say anything else, at least in public?

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Could they really say anything else, at least in public?

Nope.

And, as others have said before: saying you want a lot of kids when you haven't even kissed yet is a lot different than saying you want a lot of kids when you've already gone through pregnancy. The girls also know of child care after 6 months, but until the baby was weaned, it stayed with Michelle. So they don't yet know the joys of feeding every 2-3 hours throughout the night. At least by 6 months, babies are only waking up once or twice in the 10-12 hour long night stretch.

[Toothfairy]

Then she keeps trying every possible moment until she gets pregnant, or if she can't have any at all, she adopts like crazy. I really hate for this to be so, but I get the feeling she wants to be just like her mother. If she didn't, she'd say something along the lines of "We'll see," or "Let me make it to the wedding first!" Being that enthusiastic about having lots of kids isn't just towing party line, it's flat out agreeing with it and confirming that is the path that will be followed. She could have said less and still been party approved, but she went out of her way instead to make it known that she would be having a brood. As for hubby not wanting kids? Don't think he gets much of a choice in that one.

But penis. He has a penis which helps make a baby. Creating and having a child takes both people to be on board. I hope she doesn't adopt just to replace children she herself might not be able to have.

[Toothfairy]

I really don't think ANY of the kids wants to have a future JUST like their parents. I'm sure Jill wants a big family, but she also knows what it's like to raise a big family and how poor they were before TLC. She's not an idiot.

I am sure they will have a large family by current standards, but that really doesn't mean that she's even going to break into the double digits. Plus, Michelle has a mental issue that causes her to be the way she is. She's an addict after a mental break. None of her kids have yet shown any symptoms of an addictive personality. I really don't think were going to see Michelle part 2.

We will see fundamentalist Christians or fundie lites (depending on the husband because in ATI training, they're told the husband makes all religious decisions), but I really don't think we will se anything along the lines of Michelle. Especially among the oldest daughters.

Also, saying you're leaving it up to god DOES NOT mean you're going to try every damned month. Just because Michelle does and Anna at least pretends to, it doesn't mean that that's what it means. Michelle has a mental illness and Anna is being told that they need to have more babies to stay on the show. Now that there is a courtship and an engagement sharing the spotlight, there will be less pressure on Anna. And, since there will be 3 wedded couples, there will be less pressure on all of them. Especially if JB and Michelle can marry off some other Duggars.

Leaving it up to god means that when you have sex, you don't use protection. There's no rule that says try every month. It just says "don't do anything that will spill the seed" or "don't do anything to keep your womb closes." So, yes blow jobs are out for ATI, as are condoms and diaphragms and BC pills and IUDs (lol my phone changed that to IEDs; that would be one way to avoid pregnancy).

Spill your seed??? And if they leave it up to god some much, how come they just won't eat all the food place in front of them and leave it up to god to tell them when to stop?

[Toothfairy]

Can we please try to remember that what we see of these people is only how they appear on camera? Take a naturally reserved and less romantically inclined person like Jessa, put her in front of a camera and tell her to talk about her new (first!) relationship with a guy. While said guy and her parents and ten siblings and a film crew are all staring at her. I think her reaction is pretty natural.

I completely disagree with the idea that Ben means to 'save' Jessa. Ben is the genuine fundie here. I think he will just get more extreme whereas Jessa I'm not so sure about. I don't believe she wants that lifestyle. We'll see what she does about it, if anything.

Jessa relationship is more like a crush. I just think they shouldn't show her relationship with her first boyfriend or first guy she likes on the show for the world to see.

[MrsFoxx]

And, as others have said before: saying you want a lot of kids when you haven't even kissed yet is a lot different than saying you want a lot of kids when you've already gone through pregnancy. The girls also know of child care after 6 months, but until the baby was weaned, it stayed with Michelle. So they don't yet know the joys of feeding every 2-3 hours throughout the night. At least by 6 months, babies are only waking up once or twice in the 10-12 hour long night stretch.

Haha. I wish someone had told my son that. We didn't get longer than a two hour stretch of sleep until after he was a year old.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Haha. I wish someone had told my son that. We didn't get longer than a two hour stretch of sleep until after he was a year old.

Did you breastfeed on demand? On demand babies wont put the larger stretches between feedings because they dont feel the need to.

I doubt the Duggar girls have been taught to do on demand feedings beyond 12 weeks (when scheduling a baby is possible; before that, they're stomachs are just too small to get enough food to get them through an extended period of time). Otherwise, it's unlikely that Michelle's period would have come back soon enough for her to get pregnant around 6 months because, in most cases, on demand feedings with no supplementing of food or formula keeps you from ovulating.

[MrsFoxx]

Did you breastfeed on demand? On demand babies wont put the larger stretches between feedings because they dont feel the need to.

I doubt the Duggar girls have been taught to do on demand feedings beyond 12 weeks (when scheduling a baby is possible; before that, they're stomachs are just too small to get enough food to get them through an extended period of time). Otherwise, it's unlikely that Michelle's period would have come back soon enough for her to get pregnant around 6 months because, in most cases, on demand feedings with no supplementing of food or formula keeps you from ovulating.

Yeah, on demand and he didn't drink as much at daycare so he nursed a lot at night to make up for it. I have never been so tired in my life. Reason number 100 why current in utero will be our second and final kid.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Yeah, on demand and he didn't drink as much at daycare so he nursed a lot at night to make up for it. I have never been so tired in my life. Reason number 100 why current in utero will be our second and final kid.

Yea, I dont think I could do on demand feedings. I started as a nanny with twins, so I've always scheduled. Once you schedule it's hard to go back. Plus, I always stuff the kids full of food so they sleep through the night and the parents love me more. ;)

The 7 almost 8 month old I take care of right now has about 10 oz a feeding of milk and 2-4 oz of solids a feeding depending on how hungry he is (he's going about 4-5 hours between meals now). Except for the "oh my god I'm in bed alone someone save me" cry he does at 1 am every night before falling back asleep when his mom or dad picks him up, he sleeps from about 7/730 to 430 (when he wakes up for his "night time feeding") and again from 440/5 to 7/730.

[Mama Mia]

Did you breastfeed on demand? On demand babies wont put the larger stretches between feedings because they dont feel the need to.

I doubt the Duggar girls have been taught to do on demand feedings beyond 12 weeks (when scheduling a baby is possible; before that, they're stomachs are just too small to get enough food to get them through an extended period of time). Otherwise, it's unlikely that Michelle's period would have come back soon enough for her to get pregnant around 6 months because, in most cases, on demand feedings with no supplementing of food or formula keeps you from ovulating.

My youngest should be grateful my ovaries didn't get that memo, or she wouldn't be here. :lol: I always also, unfortunately, got my period back 6 weeks after giving birth. Every damn time. Despite exclusive, on - demand breastfeeding. The closest I got to supplementing would be a bottle of formula if I went out for an extended period - which was far, far too seldom an occasion.

[albanuadh_1]

Can we please try to remember that what we see of these people is only how they appear on camera? Take a naturally reserved and less romantically inclined person like Jessa, put her in front of a camera and tell her to talk about her new (first!) relationship with a guy. While said guy and her parents and ten siblings and a film crew are all staring at her. I think her reaction is pretty natural.

I have this weird feeling about Jessa and Ben... like she's either going to break off their courtship, or they're going to wind up divorced a few years down the road

Which is it?

[lascuba]

Can we please try to remember that what we see of these people is only how they appear on camera? Take a naturally reserved and less romantically inclined person like Jessa, put her in front of a camera and tell her to talk about her new (first!) relationship with a guy. While said guy and her parents and ten siblings and a film crew are all staring at her. I think her reaction is pretty natural.

I completely disagree with the idea that Ben means to 'save' Jessa. Ben is the genuine fundie here. I think he will just get more extreme whereas Jessa I'm not so sure about. I don't believe she wants that lifestyle. We'll see what she does about it, if anything.

Yeah, I think Jessa (and most of the kids, really) is completely over being on the show. She very much has her game face on when the cameras are on. I think most people would react the same way. Not that mention that all these conversations and heart-to-hearts with Ben already happened off-camera--they're basically reading from a script for the sake of the show. Plus, during the THs it sounds like she's repeating what she's told. I forgot the show, but a contestant from a show I used to watch said in an interview that during TH's the producers would ask questions and the contestants were pushed to answer with the exact phrase used in the question. I think that's what's happening here. We're getting very few candid reactions. (I really liked when Michelle messed up the wall in the Church for that reason--that's one of the only times I've seen a spontaneous reaction out of her, and she looked so playful.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Yeah, I think Jessa (and most of the kids, really) is completely over being on the show. She very much has her game face on when the cameras are on. I think most people would react the same way. Not that mention that all these conversations and heart-to-hearts with Ben already happened off-camera--they're basically reading from a script for the sake of the show. Plus, during the THs it sounds like she's repeating what she's told. I forgot the show, but a contestant from a show I used to watch said in an interview that during TH's the producers would ask questions and the contestants were pushed to answer with the exact phrase used in the question. I think that's what's happening here. We're getting very few candid reactions. (I really liked when Michelle messed up the wall in the Church for that reason--that's one of the only times I've seen a spontaneous reaction out of her, and she looked so playful.

If you watch with the young kids a few seasons ago (when I actually watched on a regular basis), they were often prompted by their sistermom or the child next to them.

[singsingsing]

Which is it?

Okay, you're asking me whether I think Jessa is having a normal reaction or whether I think she's going to end up breaking off the courtship or getting divorced? The answer is, why not both? The rest of my comment which you didn't quote went on to say that it's not because I think she doesn't like him. The two observations (her liking him, but the relationship possibly being ultimately doomed) are not mutually exclusive.

[BirthingGodsWarriors]

I haven't been able to find anywhere to watch the last few seasons of the show outside the US - all I get is occasional preview clips online! If anyone knows where I could watch some of it I would be super grateful!

This worked for me. Mind you it contains the usual popups, ads, et al. Not sure if any of the links work outside of the US. Good luck!

videobull.com/19-kids-and-counting-season-11-episode-4/

[roddma]

If you ask me. Jill acts like a 16 yr old with a crush. What if it is just an infatuation? They do not know the difference since none of them have dated or been around the opposite gender in normal situations. I know some people marry their high school sweethearts, but they dated without this over control. Derick seems a little bit worldly for the Duggars. At 25 living a somewhat normal life, it's hard to believe he has virgin lips.

ETA. The Bateses seem different perhaps because they lack financial resources to travel extensively. In comparison, the Duggars have seen more of the world, though, thanks to TLC and in a controlled way. None of the kids in either fmailyy had a normal adolescence.

[TeaELSee]

I think these poor girls have not had the luxury of understanding relationships. They live by commandments. They have no control, it is how they are being raised. Jessa reminds me more of me than the other older girls. She is defensive and is trying to figure out her life with limited tools or no tools provided by her parents.

She is in survival mode.

[albanuadh_1]

singsingsing: All of us have only slices of the Duggar reality to base our opinions or feelings. Yet, on 2 pages, you go from reminding us that the cameras have skewed 'reality' to how you believe things might go down.

From what I can see, ALL of us need to remember it's a reality show and not form much of any opinion or NONE of us.

[FrancineFishpaw]

I think these girls are in love w/being in love. They talk about the whole "fairy tale" (using those words often) of the courtship/engagement. Did anyone catch the TH where Erin was talking about her "fairy tale" love story that was "almost over" b/c she was about to get married? I know she didn't mean the love was over, but I think the whole "Prince Charming" thing has been drilled too far into their heads. Do they ever think about the reality of marriage that comes for years after?

[singsingsing]

singsingsing: All of us have only slices of the Duggar reality to base our opinions or feelings. Yet, on 2 pages, you go from reminding us that the cameras have skewed 'reality' to how you believe things might go down.

From what I can see, ALL of us need to remember it's a reality show and not form much of any opinion or NONE of us.

I understand what you're saying, and if my comment came off like I was insisting nobody speculate, I apologize. Obviously that's not what I believe, or else I wouldn't have wracked up an absurd number of posts on Free Jinger. I started an entire thread devoted to Bates/Duggars predictions. So rest assured I am not trying to stop the speculation party. If you just wanted to call me out on my perceived hypocrisy, that's fine too. Carry on. ;)

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

The thing is, they are taught that no matter what, if you marry the guy he is the RIGHT, god intended guy. If he's abusive, he's still the man god intended for you. If you don't love him, you better love him because he's the man god intended for you.

So these girls will "make it work" even if it's not working.

[singsingsing]

The thing is, they are taught that no matter what, if you marry the guy he is the RIGHT, god intended guy. If he's abusive, he's still the man god intended for you. If you don't love him, you better love him because he's the man god intended for you.

So these girls will "make it work" even if it's not working.

Yep, pretty much... but not all of them do. Some of them decide they just can't/won't take it and they get out. A good example of this is Autumn, the girl who went through a courtship at 15 and got married at 16, with her parents' full blessing and approval. The guy turned out to be abusive and a liar. She tried to put up with it for awhile and play the sweet submissive fundie wife, but at last she couldn't take it anymore, and she got out. She ended up divorcing him. Later she got a job, had a boyfriend for a while, moved away from home to go to college, lived on her own, worked in a Middle Eastern restaurant and studied Arabic. She's still a conservative Christian but it's a complete 180 from the path her life was taking if she had remained married. So some of them WILL leave. There's no question in my mind that not every single Duggar will follow the path their parents want them to. It's only a matter of time before one of them deviates.