Jessa is Courting! All Things Duggar Family - Part 7

[ThatSnark]

GASP! They're hipboning!? Dirty!

Surely they wouldn't object to our calling it Shoulder Sex?

[FJismyheadship]

First of all, Hot Springs is NOT nearby. Its a fricken FOUR HOUR DRIVE from here to Springdale.

Second of all, they met in church? I have a hard time believing he drives 8 hours every weekend to go to the Duggar church... maybe not now that he and Jessa are courting. I'm positive he goes to the fundie lite church here in town (they are mostly skirts but occasionally you will catch a woman in jeans. I saw one a few days ago working in the cafe when I went to use their internet). The Duggars have never been to Hot Springs (I asked Jill) so they couldnt have met at that church.

So yeah someone is lying.

[CannedSoup]

Do the Duggars host church at home? I seem to remember this from the show. Maybe Jim Bob will preside over the ceremony and bestow many "blessings" upon the couple :o

[FJismyheadship]

Do the Duggars host church at home? I seem to remember this from the show. Maybe Jim Bob will preside over the ceremony and bestow many "blessings" upon the couple :o

They hold church in a warehouse or something... its super secret, and before the ProverbsMom fiasco she would give you the information on the church.

[feministing]

First of all, Hot Springs is NOT nearby. Its a fricken FOUR HOUR DRIVE from here to Springdale.

Second of all, they met in church? I have a hard time believing he drives 8 hours every weekend to go to the Duggar church... maybe not now that he and Jessa are courting. I'm positive he goes to the fundie lite church here in town (they are mostly skirts but occasionally you will catch a woman in jeans. I saw one a few days ago working in the cafe when I went to use their internet). The Duggars have never been to Hot Springs (I asked Jill) so they couldnt have met at that church.

So yeah someone is lying.

It's entirely possible the family came for a one-time visit just to meet the Duggars. Someone did mention they are fans. Maybe Ben and Jessa hit it off then?

I mean, these are fundies. Priscilla and Davey are FL-IL. Josh courted Anna while she was in Florida! A good fundie match must be hard to come by, but in fundie-speak 4-hour drive means freaking next door.

Just sayin'.

[FJismyheadship]

It's entirely possible the family came for a one-time visit just to meet the Duggars. Someone did mention they are fans. Maybe Ben and Jessa hit it off then?

I mean, these are fundies. Priscilla and Davey are FL-IL. Josh courted Anna while she was in Florida! A good fundie match must be hard to come by, but in fundie-speak 4-hour drive means freaking next door.

Just sayin'.

Okay you have a point. I can see that.

[xReems]

I agree with those who say the Seewalds must have gotten the approval to attend the Duggar's homechurch. Didn't they state you have to send them an email and only certain people can attend it?

They do look cute together and the age difference isn't that big of an ordeal to me but I honestly wonder if JB just saw a younger version of himself in Ben, which is why he's the only one who made the cut. Creepy.

And speaking of that, "allowed them to side hug"?! "Only guy to make the cut"?! So of all the men who have approached him in the past several years, an 18 year old JB wannabe made the cut? Alright.

I could have sworn someone on the Duggar's side stated before they would not announce a courtship until there is an engagement, so there's less pressure. I think I remember Kelly Bates stating that on her blog when Zach and Sarah ended their courtship...I'm pretty sure Anna gave her that advice. I seriously hope that this courtship is not brand new (a week old) because that would be a bitch move on the Duggar's part to put their daughter's courtship under a microscope, in front of all those tv viewers. Then again, they are money hungry and their demand has been decreasing.

[xReems]

Just had to add this to, from People's magazine

Jim Bob explains: "Courting is getting to know each other in a group setting, both families spending time together and the couple setting goals together to determine if they are meant to marry. With dating, a couple will often pair off alone and that sometimes leads to a more physical relationship."

So, in other words, dating does not lead to marriage, just sex? totally makes sense! I've been doing this whole dating thing wrong! I've been with my boyfriend for 5 1/2 years now but according to Dimbulb, we're suppose to court to determine if we're meant to marry. Silly me.

[Minerva]

I wouldn't be surprised if Jessa's TLC paycheque ultimately ends up in Ben's possession and under his control once they're married.

I'm surprised that JB is letting a J'Slave marry into a much less strict family than his. I think one of two things could be causing this. Either JB thinks Ben is young and impressionable enough to be kept close and sucked into Gothardism, or the Duggars have done something to make the rest of the ATI community dislike them and no full-blown fundy wants to marry a Duggar anymore. Didn't someone say the Duggars weren't well regarded among strict fundies since going on TV? KISA, perhaps?

I wouldn't be surprised by a November engagement. I bet they've been courting for awhile now. Jim Bob just didn't want to announce it too hastily lest Jessa join the list of fundies who've publicly broken a courtship.

[singsingsing]

I honestly think that the Duggars did not leak this on purpose. Either Ben posted the picture without their consent, or they didn't realize it would get out from his Facebook. They did the story in People to try and take control of it.

Also, another possible explanation for why Jim Bob is okay with his daughter marrying an 18-year-old from a less strict family: the Duggars simply aren't as crazy rigid as many believe, and they don't see any problem with a guy who shares their theology and lifestyle and whose sisters sometimes wear pants.

[OkToBeTakei]

I honestly think that the Duggars did not leak this on purpose. Either Ben posted the picture without their consent, or they didn't realize it would get out from his Facebook. They did the story in People to try and take control of it.

Also, another possible explanation for why Jim Bob is okay with his daughter marrying an 18-year-old from a less strict family: the Duggars simply aren't as crazy rigid as many believe, and they don't see any problem with a guy who shares their theology and lifestyle and whose sisters sometimes wear pants.

It has been fun to watch them and both of our phones are going off back and forth, ping, ping, ping."

Jim Bob says that Ben is the first to make the cut.

"Dad allowed them to do a side hug

Though other men have approached Jim Bob to ask if they could begin a relationship with Jessa

I'm not seeing it :lol:

[Pretzel]

Just a thought, could be that Ben's ancestors came over from Germany/Austria/Switzerland. His name is definitely German and quite common among Germany. It means Lake-Forest.

[Rosie]

It's entirely possible the family came for a one-time visit just to meet the Duggars. Someone did mention they are fans. Maybe Ben and Jessa hit it off then?

I mean, these are fundies. Priscilla and Davey are FL-IL. Josh courted Anna while she was in Florida! A good fundie match must be hard to come by, but in fundie-speak 4-hour drive means freaking next door.

Just sayin'.

Agreed - but even so, the "they met in church" statement has to be a lie. Or an extreme embellishment/exaggeration.

[marmalade]

It has been fun to watch them and both of our phones are going off back and forth, ping, ping, ping."

Again, reiterating that Jessa does not have a phone; she's relying on Boob's and/or Mullet's phone to text with this guy. Sad that she can't even be trusted to have her own Iphone. I know JD has one from the Cozi article.

[ljohnson2006]

I bet Jessa does have an iPhone, but her texts with Ben are monitored by Mom and Daddy Dictator.

[nokidsmom]

Either JB thinks Ben is young and impressionable enough to be kept close and sucked into Gothardism, or the Duggars have done something to make the rest of the ATI community dislike them and no full-blown fundy wants to marry a Duggar anymore. Didn't someone say the Duggars weren't well regarded among strict fundies since going on TV? KISA, perhaps?

Regarding the bolded: I personally think that is the case. I wasn't around for the KISA thread and I don't remember specifically what he said from reading it later, but I think it likely that the show has affected the family's reputation amongst the more strict fundies. Also the girls may be seen as too worldly or too high maintenance because they have gotten used to a lot of perks. I get the feeling that a lot of fundies families are steering clear; the family has been around enough ATI and VF families over the years and yet no courtship has happened at all. And no hints of one whatsoever. If a guy from a full-blown fundie family (and esp. from fundie royalty) had come around to court a Duggar girl, I don't think that JB would have said no.

ETA: I find out particularly sad that this courtship is a full-blown family event and everything has to be monitored.

[FreeJosie]

Jessa and Ben met in church, Jim Bob says, and then asked to correspond via text and on the phone. The Duggars agreed – and were kept in the conversation as the couple texted each other, mostly asking each other questions about theology and scripture.

"Jessa has a very steady personality," says Michelle. "It has been interesting to watch their interactions because for her personality type, they share very similar beliefs. It has been fun to watch them and both of our phones are going off back and forth, ping, ping, ping."

I guess theology and scripture are safe topics when Jessa and Ben know that Michelle and Jim Bob are reading everything they write to each other.

[ljohnson2006]

Jessa will be lucky if she moves far, far away from Daddy Dictator and Mommy. Married people should be able to live their own lives. Isn't that what marriage is about? Being independent, and supporting yourself? It's about more than popping out babies every year. I guess J'Chelle doesn't realize that, because popping out babies is all she's good for. I wonder if J'Chelle will give Jessa the sex talk. I can't imagine Boob giving it to one of his daughters. The one he gave Smugger was bad enough.

[nokidsmom]

I'm not seeing it :lol:

I am not seeing it either. I suspect the "other men" are fanboys who emailed JB, not necessarily serious suitors. Plus I wonder why say that? Maybe to keep more distraught fanboys from emailing him?

[singsingsing]

I'm not seeing it :lol:

The key word in that sentence was 'as'. There are different levels of crazy in fundamentalism. The Duggars might be rigid - but are they as rigid as, say, the Maxwells? Well, I don't think so - but that's my opinion. You don't have to agree.

[ljohnson2006]

I 'm sure that many stalkers want to marry the girls and change their lives. Maybe Boob shouldn't encourage people to Email him about potential suitors. Do you think Smugger and Anna will deal with this when Mack is old enough to find a man? I can just picture his reaction. "Sure! I'll let anyone date my daughter if it keeps me on TV".

[doubleT]

It is my viewpoint that Ben did not post that picture on his facebook without the FULL blessing of the Duggars, or, Jim Boob. If he did, he could have derailed his courtship with Jessa.

I also think that their relationship is already more serious than the article states. I think they have been courting awhile and maybe already engaged or at the stage where they are talking about engagement. Would the Duggars risk a broken courtship and have to explain why/how it failed?

Another family from the home church could have invited the Seawald family too. I doubt only the Duggars can invite their likeminded friends.

I really feel for Jana. Even if she is better off waiting a few more years to marry, it has to hurt her that Jessa is the first. (And for Jana, is it really better to have several more years to be a SAHD than to find "love".)

[HereticHick]

So the joint name roundup appears to be:

J'Wald

Bessa

J'Ben

I'll throw in:

Benjessamin

Blessa Ben Jessa [so faux Jewish!]

OfBen

I hope he's getting some sideboob snuggling into that 30-second hug, too.

Someone mentioned he has his own business--what is it?

PS When I was a teen I did a bit of baby-sitting--never considered it "having my own business" though!

[Ellimenopy]

I really feel for Jana. Even if she is better off waiting a few more years to marry, it has to hurt her that Jessa is the first. (And for Jana, is it really better to have several more years to be a SAHD than to find "love".)

My feeling is that, yes, it is better for her to wait. I always thought Jana was going to be one who escaped in the middle of the night, and the longer she waits, the less blessings she'll have to bring with her. I know it may seem torturous to her *now,* but she is without a doubt better off.

[OkToBeTakei]

The key word in that sentence was 'as'. There are different levels of crazy in fundamentalism. The Duggars might be rigid - but are they as rigid as, say, the Maxwells? Well, I don't think so - but that's my opinion. You don't have to agree.

Thanks. I'm glad I don't or do have to agree.

Seriously though is there really any point in discussing the rigidities of one aspect of their adherence to a doctrine when the whole doctrine is so horrendous?

Well it's awful the Dad has to approve the boyfriend and how they touch but it's really nice his sister can wear jeans.

Well it's really terrible that the Maxwell girls are not allowed out to socialise with the public but really nice that the Duggars get to socialise with the public with their anti-abortion placards.

Wow it's awful the Maxwells don't allow further education but great that the Duggars can go to College Minus or a vocational Midwifery course which will never allow one to practise medically.

It's like looking for the best worst.