Jessa is Courting! All Things Duggar Family - Part 7

[AmericanRose]

Did you write this post on People?

goo • a minute ago −

You know what, I was prepared to laugh at this entire article but I've got to say I've seen SO many people get into relationships that aren't right that I think they might actually be onto something. So many people get physical waaay too early and that causes emotions that can and VERY often are mistaken for love. You can love anyone but do you like them? Interesting... I did laugh at the part where they are "recommending sermons" to each other. Haha

Definitely not me! I don't think 'courting' is better than dating.

The side hug exception is very important to note - it means Jessa and Ben are making these choices on their own! /sarcasm

Hopefully they'll also chose to abstain from handsex.

I have to admit, Jessa was always my favourite. I can't quite imagine her becoming another Anna or Michelle though, so I'm curious to see what happens.

I think there's a possibility that by marrying someone 'younger', Jessa feels she might be able to influence Ben into a more 'fundie-light' direction.. though if he's into football and working out (at least he won't start looking like Josh after the wedding?) he already sounds pretty light. I'm surprised JB even considered him.

[singsingsing]

Nothing seems strange at all about any of this to me. Ben may not be all that bright, but none of the Duggar adults exactly strike me as intellectuals. If he lines up with all their beliefs and opinions and comes across as a normal guy (which he does at least via Facebook and Twitter), there's no reason why Jessa wouldn't like him. 20 and 18 is not a huge age difference. I don't get the sense that Jim Bob would force his daughters into a courtship they didn't want. Jim Bob was about 18 when he got married so I'm sure he thinks Ben is plenty old enough.

Jim Bob is a business man, but I've always gotten the sense that he truly loves his daughters. I don't think this is a David/Priscilla situation where the parents push their reluctant children together. I think the more likely scenario is that Jessa actually likes the guy and he was 'lucky' enough to get the Jim Bob seal of approval.

[realist51]

"He's the first one she has shown interest in that has a spiritual focus and legitimate calling about ministry work"

Others have posted this quote as well, but, apparently, that's the criteria. You must "have a calling about ministry work." Whatever that means. To me, it means you must speak weird fundi-speak and spout Bible quotes. I HOPE it doesn't mean that he is going to drag his poor, probably pregnant or shortly post-natal, wife around the globe in a trailer or worse. I, too, am curious about who didn't make the cut.

Also, is it me, or do these two look like jr. high students who just decided, by passing notes back and forth, that they are "going out." In the real world, it should last about a week. But not for Jessa and Ben. For them, the world is watching their first adolescent flirting, and the validity of their parents' courtship ritual is on the line.

[JenniferJuniper]

I think there's a possibility that by marrying someone 'younger', Jessa feels she might be able to influence Ben into a more 'fundie-light' direction.. though if he's into football and working out (at least he won't start looking like Josh after the wedding?) he already sounds pretty light. I'm surprised JB even considered him.

This looks to be his sister, so I'm guessing they probably are on the light side.

p2g-OEVZo4o

She's quite a dramatic presenter.....

[Guest]

That was a laughably bad video, but I'm a little excited to hear mainstream country music at the end there. Does Ben listen to non-Christian music? Does he dance?

The boy may be fundie, but he's no Anna Keller.

[floridiot]

"He's the first one she has shown interest in that has a spiritual focus and legitimate calling about ministry work"

Others have posted this quote as well, but, apparently, that's the criteria. You must "have a calling about ministry work." Whatever that means. To me, it means you must speak weird fundi-speak and spout Bible quotes. I HOPE it doesn't mean that he is going to drag his poor, probably pregnant or shortly post-natal, wife around the globe in a trailer or worse. I, too, am curious about who didn't make the cut.

Also, is it me, or do these two look like jr. high students who just decided, by passing notes back and forth, that they are "going out." In the real world, it should last about a week. But not for Jessa and Ben. For them, the world is watching their first adolescent flirting, and the validity of their parents' courtship ritual is on the line.

I just hope it doesn't mean getting a job at old man Gothard's "ministry". :cray-cray:

[nellautumngirl]

Oh my. Maybe the hamminess is intentional? :D

Slightly off-topic, but I HATE how Michelle calls Jim Bob Dad. He's not your dad, he's your husband.

[Janes Heir]

Sorry if this has already been posted, but does anyone know what Ben is taking in college?

[sleepygirl1]

So, bets on how long until they announce and engagement? Smugger only courted for like three months.

[PurpleSheepleEater]

I'm calling Christmas engagement.

[kelseyjhale]

GET SOME JESSA GET SOME! :dance: :dance: :dance:

[Kira]

He'll propose on her birthday in November. They'll be married in March to upstage Zach Bates!

[NotALoserLikeYou]

So, do we call him J'Ben now????? :think: I wonder if they will move into Mary's house now. The one formally occupied by the Sumugger family....

I'm in the middle of class and just laughed out loud!

[Feberin]

Nothing seems strange at all about any of this to me. Ben may not be all that bright, but none of the Duggar adults exactly strike me as intellectuals. If he lines up with all their beliefs and opinions and comes across as a normal guy (which he does at least via Facebook and Twitter), there's no reason why Jessa wouldn't like him. 20 and 18 is not a huge age difference. I don't get the sense that Jim Bob would force his daughters into a courtship they didn't want. Jim Bob was about 18 when he got married so I'm sure he thinks Ben is plenty old enough.

I also think this might be a case where Jessa actually played a big part in the choice of her husband. Perhaps she really does love him. Not that I don't think it's weird but my SIL dated a guy a 15 year old at 19. She was kind of immature and they actually worked well together. Ben seems more worldly then Jessa especially having gone to community college and presumably taking classes by himself. Perhaps they are about the same level maturity wise. While Jessa has had to raise a lot of children that doesn't necessarily equal maturity in terms of dealing with others her own age.

[sleepygirl1]

I'm thinking: engagement on Nov 4. (her birthday) and Valentine's Day wedding

[homeschoolmomma1]

Why do I get the feeling that the Duggars courting is sort of like the scene in Princess Diaries 2 with everyone always looking for _______ Duggar (fill in the blank)

[Dandruff]

Looks like Jim Bob is making the 'contact' rules like he did for Josh & Anna - I saw no mention of Ben's parents in the article aside from the families spending time together. I'd love to know if his parents have any real say in things or whether Ben would essentially become a Duggar.

[veron1que]

I may be slightly less cynical than others here, but I've also thought when jimbob has said other men have been interested in the girls they were from creepers who knew of the girls through their tv reputation, not legitimate offers. While I know jimbob has final say, I'm inclined to believe Jessa had a big part in this courtship herself, which is why he might not be overly impressive to us. I also think its important to note that the very religious believe god will provide if you are doing his work, hence why jimbob may find an adolescent a suitable provider for his daughter.

Jessa looks happy. As far as the age thing goes, I don't think there is as big of a gap in maturity between 18 and 20 in their world, as we experience in mainstream society.

[anjulibai]

I'm kind of disgusted that the actual subjects of that article weren't allowed to comment for it. I mean, common, if this was so great, they'd let Jessa and Ben say something for themselves. Smuggar certainly has always spoken for himself.

That's what makes me think something is off.

[moonbeam59]

Poor Jessa. Hopefully she is happy. Honestly, I would still expect a large gap in maturity and responsibility between an 18-year-old young man in a community that caters to males, and a 20-year-old woman who has been caring for a horde of younger siblings for years. She may not have much independence, but I suspect she was forced to grow up quickly.

[marmalade]

So, bets on how long until they announce and engagement? Smugger only courted for like three months.

No, they began courting in Jan. '08 and got engaged in June. They were ENGAGED for 3 months with a total of almost 9 months from courtship to the altar. We never saw the courtship on TV; they didn't begin filming for the series until Mother's Day of that year (remember the Today Show in NYC and the "obedient" ducks in Nashville?).

However, we don't know how long they've REALLY been courting. Ben may have been given the OK to post that pic last week, but who knows if he's been holding it back for a while? We know his family visited the Duggars in June, but were there visits before that?

The People article claims that they met in church. Someone's pants are on fire. Boob would never hear the end of it if he admitted the truth that Ben (or his family) divulged: he somehow finagled a meeting with Jessa after seeing her on TV.

Oh, he won't work for Gothard. More likely to work for Dougie; their family doesn't appear to follow ATI at all, but love Dougie. That's all good with Boob; he may prefer a Gothardite, but they support Dougie. Hell, Be-all and Mullet are practically besties what with all the MOTY teas Mullet is honored to receive from VF.

[singsingsing]

I don't think there's that big of a gap in maturity between 18 and 20 year olds even in 'normal' society. I think it really depends on the individual. I know guys the same age as me (mid 20s) who are less mature than guys five years younger. Two years is nothing if the two individuals mesh well.

[sunshine]

So, bets on how long until they announce and engagement? Smugger only courted for like three months.

Josh's courtship lasted 2 years and Anna had a deadline of age 21 that she wanted to get engaged. If it wasn't for Anna's deadline, she would have been married sooner. And, yes. It sad that I know this.

:angry-banghead:

[Kira]

I may be slightly less cynical than others here, but I've also thought when jimbob has said other men have been interested in the girls they were from creepers who knew of the girls through their tv reputation, not legitimate offers.

I refuse to believe there have been no legitimate offers. I think Ben came at the right time. The Duggar friends marrying off their children and 19KaC's rating are down.

[tlcarlaw]

I would suspect that they have been courting for a while (couple months maybe) based on the fact that he is already saying that he loves her in his tweets. They probably waited to announce it to make sure it was going to work and also more importantly to wait until the start of the new season to drum up interest in the new season.