Jessa is Courting! All Things Duggar Family - Part 7

[LurkerOverThePond]

Someone mentioned he has his own business--what is it?

Windshield repair. J'Ben should move to Leavenworth, Kansas. There would be a lot of work for him there.

[moonbeam59]

My feeling is that, yes, it is better for her to wait. I always thought Jana was going to be one who escaped in the middle of the night, and the longer she waits, the less blessings she'll have to bring with her. I know it may seem torturous to her *now,* but she is without a doubt better off.

You make a good point. The added years and maturity would probably help her get out, if that's what she wants. Once these women get married and start bringing yet more children into the lifestyle, they'll probably stay.

[mrs]

Does anyone else get really annoyed when you read the comments at the end of the People article?

people.com/people/article/0,,20735445,00.html

[singsingsing]

Thanks. I'm glad I don't or do have to agree.

Seriously though is there really any point in discussing the rigidities of one aspect of their adherence to a doctrine when the whole doctrine is so horrendous?

Well it's awful the Dad has to approve the boyfriend and how they touch but it's really nice his sister can wear jeans.

Well it's really terrible that the Maxwell girls are not allowed out to socialise with the public but really nice that the Duggars get to socialise with the public with their anti-abortion placards.

Wow it's awful the Maxwells don't allow further education but great that the Duggars can go to College Minus or a vocational Midwifery course which will never allow one to practise medically.

It's like looking for the best worst.

I'm sorry that I'm obviously being so unclear when I post, because there's some major misunderstanding going on here. I'm not 'looking for the best worst'. I'm not praising the Duggars in any way, shape, or form. Saying that they might be less rigid than the Maxwells is hardly high praise, after all. When I say the Duggars might do something because they're less rigid than [fill in the blank], I'm not adding, "So stop criticizing them you meanies!!" It's not a defence, it's just something I offered up as an alternate suggestion to their actions vs. "Jessa/Jim Bob wants to manipulate a younger man" or "They needed someone, anyone, to court so that the show would stay on". I'm not even making a judgement on which explanation is best.

[OkToBeTakei]

I'm sorry that I'm obviously being so unclear when I post, because there's some major misunderstanding going on here. I'm not 'looking for the best worst'. I'm not praising the Duggars in any way, shape, or form. Saying that they might be less rigid than the Maxwells is hardly high praise, after all. When I say the Duggars might do something because they're less rigid than [fill in the blank], I'm not adding, "So stop criticizing them you meanies!!" It's not a defence, it's just something I offered up as an alternate suggestion to their actions vs. "Jessa/Jim Bob wants to manipulate a younger man" or "They needed someone, anyone, to court so that the show would stay on". I'm not even making a judgement on which explanation is best.

No no. I get that. Just seemed pointless comparing. It's all crazy controlling.

[Rescinded and Mended]

I'll go ahead and throw Ben'J into the nickname mix. ;)

I think Jim Bob will probably "magnanimously" present Ben with a check at the wedding, or immediately after. I don't think Jim Bob will do any of the following: give the check directly to Jessa (can't be treating her like she has actual worth as a human being, after all), allow full control of all Jessa's money from TLC to be transferred directly to Jessa, or turn control of it over to Ben for their joint future a couple. I think Jim Bob will intermittently disperse funds as he sees fit, or he will allow them the use of properties and other resources that are in Jim Bob's name, depending on how well Ben and Jessa "behave" and go along with the program.

I don't think Jim Bob will let them suffer in a public fashion, but I believe that because of his need to keep control over the new couple for the enduring good of the Duggar brand, they won't get anything that should legally belong to Jessa unless they do things Jim Bob's way.

Ben is young, but he strikes me as hardworking and appears to want what's best for Jessa. If they hope to ever have any real chance at happiness after they wed, at least with regard to living life on their own terms as a couple, then they need to immediately untangle themselves as quickly as possibe from Jim Bob's purse strings.

[Ralar]

When a [Hasidic] couple decides to marry, they announce the occasion with an engagement party. In Yiddish this event is called a vort, which means a "word." At the vort the man and woman traditionally give their "word" and formally commit to marry.

Maybe Jessa and Ben can have a vort rather than a proposal in some dive restaurant.

[Kira]

Wonkette has picked up the story: http://www.wonkette.com/528911/the-cour ... your-vomit

The comments are great!

[Ralar]

Ben is young, but he strikes me as hardworking and appears to want what's best for Jessa.

We know very little about Ben and his desires for the future. He's attending community college (good) and has a windshield repair business (hardworking -- good). How do you know he wants what is best for Jessa? For all we know he wants to be an actor and attaching himself to the Duggars for TV exposure.

I'm not saying Ben is a bad guy, or an actor, or just trying to attach himself to the Duggars. But do we know any of those possibilities are false? We really know nothing about this kid or his intentions. . . . not that it is any of our business.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I don't think Jim Bob will let them suffer in a public fashion, but I believe that because of his need to keep control over the new couple for the enduring good of the Duggar brand, they won't get anything that should legally belong to Jessa unless they do things Jim Bob's way.

Exactly. He is micro-managing them now. On the day they get married, JB is not going to just set Jessa free-- he is too used to being the patriarch. When they have book signings, when they take pictures for "19 Kids and?" when they make other public appearances, JB is going to want-- I will go so far as to say command-- that Jessa is present. If Ben is also included that's fine but the important thing is that the 19 Kids is forever and permanent. Look at Josh. He is supposed to be working in DC, but he has already had lots of time to film with the Duggars.

I wonder if there will be some sort of pre-nuptial agreement that Ben will have to sign; a contract that lays out all of Jessa's obligations and her payment percentages from TLC. Even some sort of clause concerning annulment, divorce, or death. JB is a business man first and foremost, after all.

[Rescinded and Mended]

We know very little about Ben and his desires for the future. He's attending community college (good) and has a windshield repair business (hardworking -- good). How do you know he wants what is best for Jessa? For all we know he wants to be an actor and attaching himself to the Duggars for TV exposure.

I'm not saying Ben is a bad guy, or an actor, or just trying to attach himself to the Duggars. But do we know any of those possibilities are false? We really know nothing about this kid or his intentions. . . . not that it is any of our business.

I agree - we know very little about Ben, which is why I said it 'appears' he wants what is best for Jessa, and I can only base that on a handful of tweets that he has posted. However, a few brief quotes on his part do not a loving relationship make. For all we know, he could be telling her what she wants to hear now, and then change completely when they get married. A case of "the second the ring goes on the finger, the knife goes in the back," so to speak.

[Palimpsest]

Has this link been posted yet? glaad.org/blog/19-kids-one-major-disservice-lgbt-viewers

GLAAD is up in arms calling for action against Smuggar's job with the FRC. Lots of good clips of Joshie looking like a smug idiot.

[AmericanAmigo]

Note to Jessa. This might be ahead of things but remember you can go to the doctor and he or she can not disclose your medical information to anyone. Also you have the right to have only the people you want in the room, if its just the doctor and nurse that's your choice. Good luck with everything.

[freealljs]

Good grief. I leave for a few days on vacation from the Internetz (besides what is needed at work) and then find out that Jessa is courting. Not surprised, given the Bates have three kids who are engaged/courting/special friends. Boob and Mullet just had to one-up the Bates somehow, someway. I just hope Jessa wasn't pushed into this courtship.

IMHO, I think that she is way too young to be courting (and then getting married). That young man is only 18 years old. Well, at least he is going to college. In some ways, I can see her wanting to do this to escape TTH and her controlling parents. But then, in another, I can see her being pushed into this by Boob to keep the money train going. My only hope is that she will be happy and not pop out babies like her mother.

I also don't think that Boob realizes how much things have changed in the past 20 years. He married when he was young (age 19), but that doesn't mean that all his children will fare well with marrying at young ages with no education. He can't expect all of his J'offspring to make it in the world with small businesses, nor can he really support 19 J'families the way he has supported the Smuggars. It's small-minded of the JimBoob.

[Feberin]

I'm sorry that I'm obviously being so unclear when I post, because there's some major misunderstanding going on here. I'm not 'looking for the best worst'. I'm not praising the Duggars in any way, shape, or form. Saying that they might be less rigid than the Maxwells is hardly high praise, after all. When I say the Duggars might do something because they're less rigid than [fill in the blank], I'm not adding, "So stop criticizing them you meanies!!" It's not a defence, it's just something I offered up as an alternate suggestion to their actions vs. "Jessa/Jim Bob wants to manipulate a younger man" or "They needed someone, anyone, to court so that the show would stay on". I'm not even making a judgement on which explanation is best.

I think the Duggars are forced into picking a less strict background for their children's future spouses because the stricter fundie families won't have them. Do you see the Maxwells ever marrying of their children to a Duggar? I'm sure Jimbob wishes he could get some fundie royalty to marry one of his kids but he's probably tried and been turned down. So he's forced to pick a fundie lite family that isn't as strict but also doesn't have issue with their child being part of the dog and pony show.

[twinmama]

I wonder if J'Chelle will give Jessa the sex talk. I can't imagine Boob giving it to one of his daughters. The one he gave Smugger was bad enough.

Oh god. Whoever gives it to her, it will be all about doing her duty even when she doesn't feel like it and all that 'guys want sex, ladies want to talk talk talk' shit that Smugger heard. Oh how depressing. I wonder if the Duggar girls even look forward to sex or if they're just terrified. I just can't imagine how crazy it would be to go from not being able to do more than side hug in the presence of others, to intercourse in a day!!!

[thekate]

I wonder if J'Chelle will give Jessa the sex talk. I can't imagine Boob giving it to one of his daughters. The one he gave Smugger was bad enough.

What about the one he gave Jinger when they were hunting? :pull-hair:

[sunshine]

Oh god. Whoever gives it to her, it will be all about doing her duty even when she doesn't feel like it and all that 'guys want sex, ladies want to talk talk talk' shit that Smugger heard. Oh how depressing. I wonder if the Duggar girls even look forward to sex or if they're just terrified. I just can't imagine how crazy it would be to go from not being able to do more than side hug in the presence of others, to intercourse in a day!!!

The mothers will tell their daughters what to expect and the fathers are suppose to tell the sons to take their time. But, they should work up to the whole sex thing. Now with Michelle, I don't know how the process will be because she and Jim think that kissing before marriage was wrong even though they got married. Sex is trial and error, so since they never had sex they can't possibly think something is wrong.

[Ms Lucy Fur]

My guess is that they are already engaged. Didn't Anna give some kind of advice, warning, whatever to the Bates about announcing a relationship prior to engagement?

Or maybe he said, Fuck it, we need the ratings.

OOPS, sorry XREEMS! I guess I should have read the thread a little closer. Looks like you already said this.

[Dutch_girl]

What about the one he gave Jinger when they were hunting? :pull-hair:

WOW! He did what?! I have to see that :pink-shock:

[Rescinded and Mended]

It could really be a red flag for the relationship if Ben is telling Jim Bob whatever he wants to hear in a desperate attempt to get to Jessa. If I understand it correctly, didn't Ben see Jessa on TV, and then from there, told his parents that he wanted to meet her? I guess someone in his family was able to arrange an introduction via the Duggar church, and then he told Jim Bob whatever he wanted to hear about pushing the ministry so that he can insinuate himself into Jessa's life. Jessa might like him now, but I wonder how much of it is telling her what he wants to hear until he marries her?

Sort of reminds me of how, in the first Karate Kid movie, where the blond bully (Johnny) wears nice suits to the country club and is telling his girlfriend's (Ali) parents whatever they want to hear, while behind the scenes he's beating up her friends (Daniel) and smashing her radio.

All of that is just idle speculation, but when you look at it that way, it makes you think...

[Rainytown]

So, there are spurned "suitors" out there? Jim Boob had better say a few extra prayers tonight; those "suitors" may decide to talk with all of the recent publicity.

I'm with the person who said the reason why there haven't been "appropriate" (i.e., approved by Jim Boob) suitors is because the vast majority of fundie and fundie-light families would not approve of the three-ring circus that is the Duggar household. Why would anyone want to involve themselves and their family in a situation that would mean that Jim Boob and TLC are dictating and exploiting family moments that should be kept private?

[Ms Lucy Fur]

I like See-Gar for the couple, like the woman from An Officer and a Gentleman

[formergothardite]

The mothers will tell their daughters what to expect and the fathers are suppose to tell the sons to take their time. But, they should work up to the whole sex thing. Now with Michelle, I don't know how the process will be because she and Jim think that kissing before marriage was wrong even though they got married. Sex is trial and error, so since they never had sex they can't possibly think something is wrong.

:lol: That is not true at all.

You can never have had sex and still think something is wrong. It happens. Even with the people who are no kissing and no touching.

[Janes Heir]

WOW! He did what?! I have to see that :pink-shock:

Me too. Link?