The Truth About Ruth - Part 4

[holierthanyou]

If it's not a hoax, I think whoever wrote it is over their personal edge. The letter is awful, truly awful, but there is a boy with autism down the street and I listened to him scream and howl for hours Saturday. I can't imagine what it was like right next door. This happens on a regular basis, though not every day. If this is what's going on with the boy in question, every day, for hours (which is what the letter says), I can see why the letter writer was pissed. (I'm not saying the letter is okay or having to listen to the screaming is worse than parenting the kid who screams.)

I could even see a scenario where the letter writer tried to talk to the parents/caregiver about not subjecting the entire neighborhood to hours of screaming on a regular basis and getting dismissed, shamed and yelled at, which may have motivated a much angrier letter than intended. Letter aside, I can feel a lot of sympathy for a person who works nights and has to sleep days, or is trying to put small children down for a nap and can't because the neighbor kid is outside screaming at the top of his lungs every day.

There is just nothing okay about that letter.

I don't care if the supposed writer was tired, working nights, stepped on a lego, or broke up with their significant other. That kind of hate and cruelty is not ok. It is also not normal.

It is normal to be frustrated and exasperated by any noise that interrupts your calm (e.g. a crying baby). It is not normal to extend that into a formal typed letter stating that the person disrupting your calm deserves to be killed. Not normal. Not ok. Never.

[Artemis]

Really? Define normal. Very probably, it wouldn't be 'normal', for you.

It is, however, 'normal' for someone suffering from misophonia to experience extreme fear, and rage, even to hatred, when involuntarily experiencing noises which they have no ability to reduce or hide from, expecially if they also suffer from hyperacusis, which means that they experience those noises as not only louder, more penetrating, and less 'blockable' than you do, but also as a physical attack.

People with misophonia actually experience uncontrollable autonomic reactions (fight or flight response, adrenaline burst, increased heart rate) when attacked by noise.

There is a difference between an excuse for a reaction and a reason. It's perfectly possible for there to be no excuse for that letter, if it is genuine, but there may well be a reason.

Pick your normal, I guess.

[OkToBeTakei]

Really? Define normal. Very probably, it wouldn't be 'normal', for you.

It is, however, 'normal' for someone suffering from misophonia to experience extreme fear, and rage, even to hatred, when involuntarily experiencing noises which they have no ability to reduce or hide from, expecially if they also suffer from hyperacusis, which means that they experience those noises as not only louder, more penetrating, and less 'blockable' than you do, but also as a physical attack.

People with misophonia actually experience uncontrollable autonomic reactions (fight or flight response, adrenaline burst, increased heart rate) when attacked by noise.

There is a difference between an excuse for a reaction and a reason. It's perfectly possible for there to be no excuse for that letter, if it is genuine, but there may well be a reason.

Pick your normal, I guess.

Sorry. I don't care what rare disorder you may be suffering from. Telling somebody to euthanise a child is not excusable.

Trying to rationalise why it might be is very far from normal in my view.

[Dysfundamental]

Really? Define normal. Very probably, it wouldn't be 'normal', for you.

It is, however, 'normal' for someone suffering from misophonia to experience extreme fear, and rage, even to hatred, when involuntarily experiencing noises which they have no ability to reduce or hide from, expecially if they also suffer from hyperacusis, which means that they experience those noises as not only louder, more penetrating, and less 'blockable' than you do, but also as a physical attack.

People with misophonia actually experience uncontrollable autonomic reactions (fight or flight response, adrenaline burst, increased heart rate) when attacked by noise.

There is a difference between an excuse for a reaction and a reason. It's perfectly possible for there to be no excuse for that letter, if it is genuine, but there may well be a reason.

Pick your normal, I guess.

I have misophonia and I would never be cruel to someone about something they couldn't control. It's perfectly possible to have severe illness and not be an asshole to other people.

I have just been through several weeks of construction/water and gas main repair on my street, which left me weeping and even vomiting because of my involuntary reaction to screeching saws, jackhammers, and the constant "beep beep beep" of trucks going in reverse. I didn't write a nastygram to the city suggesting they euthanize the repair crew!

[NurseNell]

I have misophonia and I would never be cruel to someone about something they couldn't control. It's perfectly possible to have severe illness and not be an asshole to other people.

I have just been through several weeks of construction/water and gas main repair on my street, which left me weeping and even vomiting because of my involuntary reaction to screeching saws, jackhammers, and the constant "beep beep beep" of trucks going in reverse. I didn't write a nastygram to the city suggesting they euthanize the repair crew!

I had to look up this word. So how do you manage it? Some of the special needs students I worked with had severe reactions to the fire alarm going off. I always assumed it was just the noise hurt their ears but maybe it was this.

[tenth muse]

I don't know whether that letter in its original context is real or not, but the exact same one is doing the rounds of Facebook acquaintances, supposedly coming from a reasonably nearby town ( in Australia, by the way..). Make of that what you will.

I have to admit that unless it's been verified, or I know people involved, I have a very hard time believing a lot of those stories.

[walnut]

Without the intention of dragging in another subject, that letter looks about as real and authentic and well thought out as the ransom note they found at the Ramsey's shortly before they found their kid dead - in their own basement.

Yes, the person who wrote it is over their personal edge - and that can be one of the family members, too, if you think about it. The mother herself included.

My question would be... what if the "sender" turns out to be one of the family members? Because I've seen suggestions such as sentencing them to public service, prison, etc. Would the same thing apply for the family member...? Or that would just cause people to pour more pity on them to feed on? I want to know.

What if the parents themselves are the ones over their edge?

[hahe77]

The letter-writer claims to be angry, and in my experience people who are really worked-up angry when they are trying to express themselves in writing often do things like the too many exclamation points. There were other vibes in the letter that said "really worked-up angry" to me -- "really worked-up angry" together with "not mentally stable" plus a generous helping of "just not very nice".

Of course that says nothing about who wrote it. And as I learned with RR (along with some personal experiences over the last year which made this whole dealing with liars thing of keen interest to me), I have no radar for it. I am trying to develop it, but so far even when I can sense that "something is off" it generally doesn't strike me as fake. So I'm learning to at least be very wary instead.

If it's not a hoax, I think whoever wrote it is over their personal edge. The letter is awful, truly awful, but there is a boy with autism down the street and I listened to him scream and howl for hours Saturday. I can't imagine what it was like right next door. This happens on a regular basis, though not every day. If this is what's going on with the boy in question, every day, for hours (which is what the letter says), I can see why the letter writer was pissed. (I'm not saying the letter is okay or having to listen to the screaming is worse than parenting the kid who screams.)

I could even see a scenario where the letter writer tried to talk to the parents/caregiver about not subjecting the entire neighborhood to hours of screaming on a regular basis and getting dismissed, shamed and yelled at, which may have motivated a much angrier letter than intended. Letter aside, I can feel a lot of sympathy for a person who works nights and has to sleep days, or is trying to put small children down for a nap and can't because the neighbor kid is outside screaming at the top of his lungs every day.

[walnut]

Other question...

What if it was the parents' revenge on the community that is being condemned right now... because some people dared ask them for some kind of a solution about the constant and scary noises.

I support the idea that the sender must be tracked down because I have quite a few thoughts about those parents. And if that letter was written and worded by them... they are way over their edge, mentally and emotionally tired and seek revenge on everyone.

I used to do social work when I was in college. There are no limits, there is no rock bottom to what tired and vindictive parents are capable of. Some of them, when they saw healthy children, they wished from plague to cancer upon those kids. They were tired. Drained to the point of vindictiveness.

The sender must be tracked down. Now an entire community is having fingers pointing at them, and heck knows what kind of consequences they will have to suffer from angry and cocked up people.

One thing is certain: someone has horrible, horrible thoughts about that kid and it can be someone from his own family too.

[walnut]

PS: living among people sucks. They have dogs that bark, babies that cry, kids that make noise, teens that listen to loud music. We are being bombarded by smells, noises, sights, anything that can offend our senses - by other people. And noise is one of the most horrible pollution that takes a toll on a person. After a while... you get nervous, you get upset, you get a migraine, you become constantly irritated. People need quiet... the parents of that boy, too. I cannot imagine what umpteen years of constant yelling could have done to them. I personally, would have lost my mind real quick. If they feel like they are unfit to take care of that boy, they should say so, there has to be a solution.

[holierthanyou]

This is not aimed at any user in particular, but I just have to say I find it disgusting to read apologists for someone writing that a child with Autism should be put to death because he is a nuisance, and that they should give away"his non-retarded body parts".

There is no justification for that level of rudeness, cruelty, and hatred spewed forth about a child. I'm appalled that people are trying to defend the level of "nuisance" this child must be in the neighbourhood, as if that somehow justifies writing that the child should be put to death. It's truly disgusting to me.

[Mama Mia]

PS: living among people sucks. They have dogs that bark, babies that cry, kids that make noise, teens that listen to loud music. We are being bombarded by smells, noises, sights, anything that can offend our senses - by other people. And noise is one of the most horrible pollution that takes a toll on a person. After a while... you get nervous, you get upset, you get a migraine, you become constantly irritated. People need quiet... the parents of that boy, too. I cannot imagine what umpteen years of constant yelling could have done to them. I personally, would have lost my mind real quick. If they feel like they are unfit to take care of that boy, they should say so, there has to be a solution.

Oh FFS, how on earth does some creep writing a horrible, disgusting letter equal the parents being unfit ? If the neighbor is that upset they can buy some earplugs, or soundproofing, or move. I am appalled that people are actually defending this.

[singsingsing]

I lived a couple houses down from a boy with autism. He made some noise occasionally, but was never disruptive. After that, I lived in the upper part of a duplex. My landlady who lived below me had a teenage son with autism. This boy made a lot of noise, all the time. Mostly laser noises, but sometimes he would scream, and he would talk very loudly, incessantly. Not only that, but he would race around and around the house, jumping, banging, and pounding on the walls and the floor. My bedroom was directly above his, and every morning he would wake up between 6:30 and 7 and do this.

Yes, it was often difficult to take, especially when I was stressed out or sleep deprived, and it was one of the reasons I ended up moving. But I never felt any anger toward this boy. He couldn't help what was going on (nor could his mother), and he was a wonderful kid. That letter is one of the most evil, repulsive things I have ever seen. Personally I'd rather deal with the noise from a kid with autism than neighbours who blast obscene music or have screaming fights all the time. If you don't want to be bothered by the sights, sounds, smells, etc. of humanity, move to a house in the middle of the country. I've seen neighbours go ballistic over trivial things like a cat getting into their yard or kids playing road hockey - but to write a letter this vile - there are just no words.

[Dysfundamental]

I had to look up this word. So how do you manage it? Some of the special needs students I worked with had severe reactions to the fire alarm going off. I always assumed it was just the noise hurt their ears but maybe it was this.

Earplugs and beta blockers. Fire alarms are horrible for me; I almost always get the voms.

[dianapavelovna]

I lived a couple houses down from a boy with autism. He made some noise occasionally, but was never disruptive. After that, I lived in the upper part of a duplex. My landlady who lived below me had a teenage son with autism. This boy made a lot of noise, all the time. Mostly laser noises, but sometimes he would scream, and he would talk very loudly, incessantly. Not only that, but he would race around and around the house, jumping, banging, and pounding on the walls and the floor. My bedroom was directly above his, and every morning he would wake up between 6:30 and 7 and do this.

Yes, it was often difficult to take, especially when I was stressed out or sleep deprived, and it was one of the reasons I ended up moving. But I never felt any anger toward this boy. He couldn't help what was going on (nor could his mother), and he was a wonderful kid. That letter is one of the most evil, repulsive things I have ever seen. Personally I'd rather deal with the noise from a kid with autism than neighbours who blast obscene music or have screaming fights all the time. If you don't want to be bothered by the sights, sounds, smells, etc. of humanity, move to a house in the middle of the country. I've seen neighbours go ballistic over trivial things like a cat getting into their yard or kids playing road hockey - but to write a letter this vile - there are just no words.

Agreed. A kid with autism who is sometimes noisy may be annoying or frustrating, but that letter is disgusting. That reaction is ridiculous and indefensible. I hope it's a fake. Buy some earplugs, listen to music over earphones, whatever, and move on with your life.

[mausi]

What a horrible letter. What a horrible sentiment. It is so juvenile; I feel like it was written by some Mean-Girl-teenage-types who just got their beginning of the year vocabulary list, have some free time, and tried to write like adults (the !!!!!!!!!!!!! and all that).

[WonderingInWA]

What a horrible letter. What a horrible sentiment. It is so juvenile; I feel like it was written by some Mean-Girl-teenage-types who just got their beginning of the year vocabulary list, have some free time, and tried to write like adults (the !!!!!!!!!!!!! and all that).

Yep, it has that feel about it, doesn't it? I agree.

[Inky]

I live in the area where that letter originated. My take on it (and my friends agree with this) is that the letter wasn't written by a "pissed off mom". More like a male age around 15 or over 35, just looking to stir up trouble.

It just isn't the way most people around here feel or act - not to say there aren't a-holes here, just like everywhere, but it is out of character for the place - both the grandmothers home in Newcastle or the moms in Oshawa.

[walnut]

That is exactly because I want them to track down the sender. I want them to. Because of the things that were said. The euthanasia and the other, sickening stuff said.

And because I am absolutely unconvinced that the letter came from someone outside the family. I have seen files of people going apeshit over relatives with long-term serious illnesses and mental disabilities.

I want! to know who exactly sent that letter and I want their name in the press all over the internet just like that insanity and exclmation point loaded horror was posted ALL over the web.

I reckon that they have no intentions to track that person down, which is really lucky for ... and even if they do... they'll keep it hidden from the public.

I want justice and I want to know the truth because the pathology of unrealistic hate-, threat-, ransom letters are eeeeeeerily similar.

Sticking by my every word, Walnut

[Smokey-pony]

I have misopohonia with certain noises, primarily the sound of people eating and gum smacking. But I would never dream of being mean to anyone who engages in that in my presence. I walk away if possible. If not possible I've done things like pinch myself hard enough to force my system to focus on something else but I recognize that person has a right to chew and pop gum as loudly add they wish and I don't hate them.

That letter is inexcusable. I've worked with autistic kids who are screamers and some scream for hours for no reason that is apparent. Its exhausting and I do feel sorry for those who are subjected to it. But the child still has a right to be alive and loved and cared for.

[oil]

That letter remind me of that college woman who wrote a Facebook against herself, that some rightists wanted to rape her, and find it out she wrote it to her self to bash rightists since she was a leftist.

I believe this mom is lying and either she wrote it her self or put some one to write it so she can get sympathy and a brand new home for her and her son and money too.

[julie paradox]

oil, you're not helping yourself, you know?

[Morton Fan]

oil, you're not helping yourself, you know?

WTH? I can't see what is wrong with her posting her opinion, and it was an opinion that was shared by some previous posters, too. If you have drama with Oil, why do you have to bring it to another thread?

[walnut]

OFF: Oil is not a native speaker, just like many of us. Yet her posts are thoughtfully worded, I've seen her share valuable opinions quite a few times. **edited

I agree, stop mocking Oil and stop following her around. Posting totally off-topic, personal comments directed at her is juvenile, immature. Please stop stalking users and derailing the topic. ON

[julie paradox]

okay, I'm in a minority on this one. Sorry I misjudged the feeling of the thread. I felt that the reference to another event was gratuitous (ymmv). The statement "I believe this mom is lying" is both direct and unambiguous, and in my opinion rather harsher than other posters were.

That may well be to do with not being a native speaker, but some words are accusations and if you know them at all you should know that too.

walnut: I am not following anyone around and quite frankly I resent the word "stalking". I have not spoken to oil on this topic before.