The Truth About Ruth - Part 4

[walnut]

PS: I've just seen Dollypeeps' adorbs puppies in Chatter. *_____* *growls* Must... go down... must... pray! Stayawayfromme! Can't fight it! Must... praaaaaaaaaayyyyy....! *turns into zombie"

[Stephanie66]

I don't think the parent(s) did it. I think the caregiver did. And being a caregiver can be overwhelming, so if she did, I am quite sure this was something that she did to get support and it got out of hand.

Or, someone else is really mean.

[flyawaystray]

You know Steph, that's an interesting theory about the caregiver.

[Inky]

I thought the grandmother was the caregiver for 2 days a week.

And as a grandmother myself, I really find it hard to believe that she would have written it.

Shanny - you must be west of where it happened...I'm about the same distance northwest. I know there are idiots everywhere but I agree with you - I really don't think the family had anything to do with it. The parents seemed very sincere. Plus at his age, there wouldn't be much of a financial angle to work. He would have an EA at school.

[Shanny87]

I thought the grandmother was the caregiver for 2 days a week.

And as a grandmother myself, I really find it hard to believe that she would have written it.

Shanny - you must be west of where it happened...I'm about the same distance northwest. I know there are idiots everywhere but I agree with you - I really don't think the family had anything to do with it. The parents seemed very sincere. Plus at his age, there wouldn't be much of a financial angle to work. He would have an EA at school.

I'm in Toronto, so yes west of the parents in Oshawa and the grandmother in Newcastle. The grandmother is the caregiver a few days a week - I can't imagine a grandmother writing such a hateful letter about her grandson who she has for sleepovers 2 days a week. The boy (Max) was diagnosed at 20 months old and is now 13 and from what the papers are saying, has always had "grandma time". The grandmother (again according to the parents interviews) takes the grandson for those visits to give the parents a break, especially his mother who is also dealing with MS.

At the end of the day, it was an extremely hateful and disgusting letter to write about anyone. Frustrations with neighbours when it comes to noise/children/fences/whatever happen, but I would hope the vast majority of this world would stop short of suggesting a 13 year old boy with autism should be euthanized. There is no way to defend that kind of hate and visciousness directed at a child, and that childs parents and grandmother who I'm sure are doing the best they can for their son's best interests and life.

The difference between this letter and other internet scams, is that this letter can be traced back to a city, neighbourhood, family and specific child. This family has been on the news, have given interviews, have had neighbourhoods (both the grandmas and parents neighbourhood) rally around them. There is a verifiable face to this hateful letter. There is no reason to suggest that the parents have done something this hateful directed at their own child for any sort of gain.

[flyawaystray]

It can be traced back to a family, but the writer of the letter can't be. And as someone else pointed out, it's sketchy and convenient that the letter was slipped under a door. Surely someone would have seen it.

You do make a good point though, it is a horrific letter but it's so over the top that I'm skeptical.

[Mama Mia]

It can be traced back to a family, but the writer of the letter can't be. And as someone else pointed out, it's sketchy and convenient that the letter was slipped under a door. Surely someone would have seen it.

You do make a good point though, it is a horrific letter but it's so over the top that I'm skeptical.

Really ? There are a lot of completely horrible people out there. If anything it seems much more likely that a completely horrible person who is willing to write such vile things would be a stranger, instead of a family member. A family member seems more likely to maybe think, or even say, some mean things in frustration, but not to put them on paper...unless it was a diary. And the thoughts would be more likely to run to "I'm going to kill that kid if they don't shut up" than to want to have a 3rd party euthanize them. I just think it would be terrible to not only have someone attack my child like that, but then to also be suspected of doing it myself, would add to the horror.

[flyawaystray]

There are disturbing people out there. And the fact of the matter is, I don't know who wrote the letter, none of us do. So until there's more information out there, my initial feeling is that one of the family members wrote it for attention. If the person who wrote the letter turns out to be a neighbor or someone like that, I will gladly change my position. I hope I don't come off as rude because that's not my intention. Many years on the internet as taught me not to believe everything I read so for now, I remain skeptical. Remember Balloon Boy?

Also, as disturbing as the letter is, it is not a hate crime. Authorities are trying to see what other charges they can bring up but that's pointless unless the person who wrote the letter is identified. I do hope we find out one way or another who wrote the letter.

[Shanny87]

It can be traced back to a family, but the writer of the letter can't be. And as someone else pointed out, it's sketchy and convenient that the letter was slipped under a door. Surely someone would have seen it.

You do make a good point though, it is a horrific letter but it's so over the top that I'm skeptical.

The letter was mailed - it was stated that while the letter was typed, the address was handwritten and was mailed. The night the letter started being shared online, CityTV explicity stated that and showed the mailboxes (they're set up at the end of the street not at each house).

I would assume that based on the handwritten envelope, it would be pretty easy to clear the parents and grandmother writing that letter just by handwriting analysis ... but maybe I watch too much Law and Order and that isn't a real police tactic when it comes to hateful letters.

I don't know, its so close to home, and before it became international news, the letter popped up on my newsfeed from a friend who has a close friend who lives on the same street as the grandmother and I watched the same day reaction of the family on the 11:00pm news (or 6pm - I can't remember now but actually may have been both because there was also a shot of the other residents of the neighbourhood who came out to support the family and the boy) which is why I'm fairly convinced they had nothing to do with it.

To be honest, its much more likely that it was some teenagers who thought they were being risky or funny, and were unlikely to end up with their letter being on national and international news.

Correcting misinformation (ie the way the letter was delivered, the clarification of grandmother from caregiver) was my main reason for posting my thoughts. I personally don't care who wrote the letter; I just care that a child was targeted with such hate and there is someone out there (a teenager, a neighbour) who not only thought those things, but put in writing that an autistic child should be euthanized. Watching the sheer shock and bewilderment of the parents and grandma same day reactions was enough for me to decide they had nothing to do with it.

[flyawaystray]

Well I think we can both agree that saying the child should be euthanized is absolutely horrible. It's not like the child is doing it on purpose, maybe his wailing is his way of communicating. The letter is disturbing but I don't know, anything is possible at this point. I hope nothing worse happens.

[Shanny87]

Yes, I hope the same. At some point, the author of the letter will be outed and in the meantime, maybe some good will come from it - other parents/school teachers etc. taking the time to speak to their kids and educate them with regard to what autism is and help them understand why some kids may be "different" from them.

[flyawaystray]

Couldn't the police check the letter and envelope for fingerprints?

As far as I know, the source of the letter is Reddit. It was first posted there, then to Twitter. I don't know if Reddit is trustworthy, but time will tell.

[Shanny87]

Couldn't the police check the letter and envelope for fingerprints?

As far as I know, the source of the letter is Reddit. It was first posted there, then to Twitter. I don't know if Reddit is trustworthy, but time will tell.

I had the same though re:fingerprints and handwriting as well.

I stated above that before it hit Reddit and Twitter and the rest of the world, it was posted by a friend of a friend who lives on the same street on facebook. My friend had shared it from that girls wall, which is how I saw it. From the comments it seemed that other neighbours had seen the letter in person and that photo of the letter was posted as a mobile upload by my friends friend, and the location attached to the photo is Newcastle Ontario. Proves nothing in the grand scheme of things, but just pointing out that no Reddit and Twitter are not the sources. It was a local news story before it started going viral.

[oil]

Nobody is patronizing you, Oil. Nobody treats you like a baby or anything. We stick by you because of the attitude that was shown to a contributing member like you. That could be anyone, not just you. We don't think you can't protect yourself. We just want to put a stop to mocking, harassment, to the dragging of personal issues into other topics. We know you can stand up for yourself. What I have a problem with was the mockery and the intolerance shown towards a non-trolling, contributing member. I would have said the same thing if that reply had been directed to someone, anyone else, too. No disrespect, cheers.

Thank you. I know it not patronizing me. I was worried that some members will say I get "protection" and I dont want that, only fair ness. And I also dont want members to be bash for standing up for me. Thank you.

Any way, this is not big news here but I read about it from the online BBC news and American news. I hate think the mom or family did it but may be Im naive to think a neighbor would say better to euthanize this child. That is worse than all the horrible things I ever heard. That way I suspect a motive for sympathy like a "good samaritan" will provide some thing better for them.

I cant imagine being so angry about a LOUD child that you want him euthanized. Just tel mom, listen your son is too damn loud, can you help it so we can have a peace full area? I wonder if any one try the direct-approach. I didnt see any information about this from the news.

[Curious]

In the first interview the parents did the night the letter started getting attention, it was stated that the letter was mailed. The TV crew had a shot of the mailboxes at the end of the street and stated that while the letter was typed, the envelope it was mailed in was handwritten.

Like I said previously, this happened a few towns away from the city I live in, and the parents (in that interview and every one I've seen since) were truly heartbroken and it just doesn't ring true that they wrote it themselves in order to gain widespread sympathy, attention, money etc.

From the article that was linked this quote:

Lennon and Maisy Stella, two young Canadian sisters who sing and star on ABC's "Nashville," used their sizable Twitter presence to call attention to the frightening missive. On Sunday, they shared a photo of the letter that has since been retweeted nearly 6,000 times.

The tweet the sisters sent out was:

Lennon and Maisy @lennonandmaisy

A close family friend has an autistic boy and this was an anonymous letter slipped under her door. This is real. pic.twitter.com/VyRb2oqPrG

Since nothing in the article said that was incorrect, I took it as accurate. Nothing else in the article addresses the mode of delivery that I could see.

[Vex]

A couple of people have said they feel bad about being skeptical about the letter.

I just want to say - don't feel bad about your gut feelings. That's what people like "Ruth" count on when weaving these hoaxes.

It's totally healthy to take any sort of blog or story where people are pouring in attention, sympathy and donations with a grain of salt. I think we've all learned that donating online is a bad idea unless you're going through legitimate charities or know in real life that something is 100% legitimate.

By all means let your hearts go out to the family. Even if they wrote the letter themselves, they are living with extreme stress all the time and they deserve support and good wishes. But don't beat yourself up for doubting or for holding back from expressing your sympathy or giving donations.

I hate to think good, compassionate people are feeling bad about themselves because they've discovered the hard way that bad things can happen when you trust too freely.

[Gertie]

The letter was mailed - it was stated that while the letter was typed, the address was handwritten and was mailed. The night the letter started being shared online, CityTV explicity stated that and showed the mailboxes (they're set up at the end of the street not at each house).

If the writer lives in that neighbourhood, it makes no sense that they would mail it. They could just stick it in the correct mailbox while they're at the mailboxes checking their own mail. Did they really say it was mailed (with stamp and everything) or just stuck in the mailboxes? Just seems odd to me.

[Shanny87]

They're locked Canada Post mailboxes. The letter carrier would have to unlock the box on each row to deliver mail and each box has its own lock for each mailbox. Like many have pointed out, the internet is shady at the best of times and turns into a game of telephone when it comes to details and stories get skewed the more they are passed on. Someone upthread noted they are basing their opinion on what they're source of information is, just as I'm basing mine off of the news cast that provided the information to those of us in the Toronto area.

It is the internet and its a heartstrings pulling kind of story. I personally don't think its fake, but can see why others might, especially if you (general you) are not from the area and only have written articles to go off of. I'm not insinuating that the story deserves blind belief, but rather correcting a bit of misinformation.

I personally think it was some bored teenagers, others think its the parents or a neighbour. We'll find out in time I suppose when the police finish the investigation. Hopefully they are able to figure out who it was.

[tropaka]

Whether a fraud or not, people have already started raising money. More appropriately, someone else in the neighbourhood is throwing a party this weekend for Max and other kids, hoping they make lots of noise.

http://globalnews.ca/news/791037/durham ... tic-child/

[flyawaystray]

Isn't that...a little much? Why piss off the neighbors just to make a point? (Unless the neighbors don't really care)

When my neighbors throw a party, it's loud and obnoxious. There's no kids involved either, just adults and sometimes a mariachi band. However, the house next door is only a few feet away from mine and it really sucks when it's 11 pm at night, I want to sleep, and music is still blaring.

ETA: I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way. I am not saying the autistic child is going to be obnoxious, just that a group of children might be. Kids are kids, they are loud and sometimes unruly. My niece has a group of cousins that are absolutely horrible to be around because their parents let them do whatever.

[Cran]

So why are they raising money for the family now? So they can move away? So that the child can get better therapy?

[Closed Womb]

Whether a fraud or not, people have already started raising money. More appropriately, someone else in the neighbourhood is throwing a party this weekend for Max and other kids, hoping they make lots of noise.

http://globalnews.ca/news/791037/durham ... tic-child/

It always makes me a little sick to my stomach when people raise money in response to situations that cannot be resolved with money.

[flyawaystray]

Apparently the money is being raised for a vacation.

From the fundraising link:

This fundraising effort has been designed to help Karla and her family cope with the aftermath of this horrific letter, and perhaps allow this family to heal. The thought of a family vacation is probably the furthest thing from their mind. Let's collectively open our hearts and wallets and send this family off to a well deserved vacation of their choice, or to use this money, in any way they see fit.

----

The goal is 20k o____O

http://www.youcaring.com/help-a-neighbor/we-all-care-justice-for-max/81380#sthash.vjYCi2ym.dpuf

[Mama Mia]

Whether a fraud or not, people have already started raising money. More appropriately, someone else in the neighbourhood is throwing a party this weekend for Max and other kids, hoping they make lots of noise.

http://globalnews.ca/news/791037/durham ... tic-child/

I think it's great they are having a party. I really hope that Max isn't going to be overwhelmed by it and completely enjoys himself

[Burris]

For those who haven't seen it, here's the link to an outrageous, whiny letter sent anonymously and with the intent merely to hurt its targets.

...and on purple stationary. How delightfully whimsical.

The letter-writer’s poor grammar, coupled to the use of exclamation points All! Over! The! Place! for emphasis, suggests she is about as well-educated as one would expect of the sort of kidult who makes it her business to anonymously bully other people through the mail.

She clearly wanted to vent without having to face even the minimal consequence of facing her target.

The language of the letter – the choice of “euthanatize†over “kill,†for example – is designed specifically to shock and anger the parents. Beyond that goal, which the writer obviously achieved, the letter serves no purpose. It’s merely an overlong rant from the sort of person who probably sends out anonymous, Jennifer Petkov-esque bitch-letters all the time.

That said, I don’t think the letter reaches the status of a hate crime, nor is it even close to the worst thing anyone has ever seen (as some other posters here have said). That gives the letter and its writer entirely too much credit.

I also don’t understand how fundraising will help the situation – although it does amuse me to picture the original writer stewing about how the parents may profit from something meant to damage them.