Child Collectors Extraordinaire

[OkToBeTakei]

I'm not saying it's not true, but I haven't gotten the child-smacking vibe from this family. I also haven't been reading their blog for very long, so I could be wrong.

I have read a lot of the blog. I do not get a bad vibe in any way. I think she is mad at her age but I think she thinks it is her calling. They obviously have the means and appear very loving. She is also at times very honest about her feelings and those of her family. There is a lot of 'praise god' stuff going on, again not in a creepy way just in a not my sort of thing way. I do not like the circumcision or immersing the kids in American and catholic culture, but honestly what else can she do they are Catholic Americans. The first time she had ever left her own country was to go to China and she was nigh on 50. :shock: She does and has said intends to keep up the children's culture but feels whilst trying to acclimatise them to a new culture that would be confusing. I love she eats Chinese food twice a week not because of culture because in her own admission she is a crap cook. She homeschools but again I do not think this will be written in stone but an interim measure?

But Mia and one other Emma I think. She has spoken about the fact that they were 10 or so and have issues that may never come out. The sleep thing made me sad. It may have worked with the younger kids but there is no telling what that child has or has not been through. Although she did not push it the second night.

I hope it goes well for all of them. I find I likeher reading the blog and feel any mistakes are just over zealous rather than anything else. At least I hope so. :?

[Lillybee]

This is a Christian child collector's blog. She has 6 birth children and 11 adopted ones, many with special needs. She has also adopted a few from already dispruted adoptions. She seems to love all the kids and takes great care of them.

smilesandtrials.blogspot.com/

[Patsy]

^ Yeah, I don't have any criticism for her.

[C Potter-Pirbright]

I have read a lot of the blog. I do not get a bad vibe in any way. I think she is mad at her age but I think she thinks it is her calling. They obviously have the means and appear very loving. She is also at times very honest about her feelings and those of her family. There is a lot of 'praise god' stuff going on, again not in a creepy way just in a not my sort of thing way. I do not like the circumcision or immersing the kids in American and catholic culture, but honestly what else can she do they are Catholic Americans. The first time she had ever left her own country was to go to China and she was nigh on 50. :shock: She does and has said intends to keep up the children's culture but feels whilst trying to acclimatise them to a new culture that would be confusing. I love she eats Chinese food twice a week not because of culture because in her own admission she is a crap cook. She homeschools but again I do not think this will be written in stone but an interim measure?

But Mia and one other Emma I think. She has spoken about the fact that they were 10 or so and have issues that may never come out. The sleep thing made me sad. It may have worked with the younger kids but there is no telling what that child has or has not been through. Although she did not push it the second night.

I hope it goes well for all of them. I find I likeher reading the blog and feel any mistakes are just over zealous rather than anything else. At least I hope so. :?

I had the flu this weekend so I took the time to curl up and read the blog from start to finish (I can't believe I did that). I have to say I went into it thinking I'd hate her, and there are many things that do annoy me, but I must say she's very honest about the fact that she didn't raise her biological kids this way and that they often disagree with the decisions. The older kids also definitely date,marry whomever they please and church isn't something they have to do. All the kids (adult and little ones ) seem to dress as they please as well. I think she does have too many kids but I do think she loves them and she is trying, the kids do get outside therapy ( I think she needs to let some of them have a bit more). And she does talk regularly about the kids holding onto their language and culture earlier she wasn't as keen or happy about it but now she seems keen to encourage it. One thing I never got the vibe of was this household doing physical punishments.

[Emme]

This is a Christian child collector's blog. She has 6 birth children and 11 adopted ones, many with special needs. She has also adopted a few from already dispruted adoptions. She seems to love all the kids and takes great care of them.

smilesandtrials.blogspot.com/

She's not really a collector in my mind. She has helped a LOT of kids out of some bad places. I don't always agree with her, but I have respect for her. She has also publicly stated that if one of her kids is gay, she knew it wouldn't change her love for them.

[Lillybee]

She's not really a collector in my mind. She has helped a LOT of kids out of some bad places. I don't always agree with her, but I have respect for her. She has also publicly stated that if one of her kids is gay, she knew it wouldn't change her love for them.

I respect her a lot, I am impressed with how far Dennis and Alex have come since she adopted them.

She seems to know each of her kids and their talents and personalities unlike another mother of many.

[dairyfreelife]

This is a Christian child collector's blog. She has 6 birth children and 11 adopted ones, many with special needs. She has also adopted a few from already dispruted adoptions. She seems to love all the kids and takes great care of them.

smilesandtrials.blogspot.com/

I have no criticism for Christine or John. I read their blog from time to time and I have no hate. I think they are doing a great job. She's very honest about her struggles and shortcomings. They may have 17 children, but they seem very loving and involved parents who work very hard to help their children, all of whom either have special needs and/or were older and/or were from disrupted adoptions. I don't see them as child collectors.

[Joan of Snarc]

You know, it's really weird how almost fetishistic Adeye is about describing Hasya- angel, love, beautiful, etc. And while I GET that she's got the msot going on now, medically, the total lack of any comment about the other kids is really odd. (Seriously, on the front page, there's a number of posts about Hasya, one about Guatemala, one about Harper (WAY down at the bottom of the page), and a group photo of some kids in which the kids aren't even individually named. It's really weird!

From reading her entire blog, I get the impression that Harper is Adeye's favorite child and that Haven is her least favorite. Maybe Harper just enjoys having her picture made more, so there are more posts dedicated to how cute and precious she is, but there are also some undercurrents of disappointment and frustration when Adeye writes about Haven.

In one post, Adeye says that Haven taught her to love while getting nothing in return. In another, Adeye says it's ten steps forward and twenty steps back with Haven. Haven doesn't seem to have progressed since Adeye adopted her and it feels like Adeye has sort of given up on her. Haven got glasses and Adeye was all, "Oh, hopefully this will change her life! She'll be able see! God's perfect! Yada yada yada."

Then Adeye says she wore the glasses for three days and won't wear them any more. Can Adeye not make her wear the glasses? Did they not work properly? Adeye just seems to give up and move on to the next kid. I hope Hannah-Claire is okay with taking care of Haven for the rest of her life, because that's what's going to happen there.

I wish there was an update on Hasya.

[OkToBeTakei]

I had the flu this weekend so I took the time to curl up and read the blog from start to finish (I can't believe I did that). I have to say I went into it thinking I'd hate her, and there are many things that do annoy me, but I must say she's very honest about the fact that she didn't raise her biological kids this way and that they often disagree with the decisions. The older kids also definitely date,marry whomever they please and church isn't something they have to do. All the kids (adult and little ones ) seem to dress as they please as well. I think she does have too many kids but I do think she loves them and she is trying, the kids do get outside therapy ( I think she needs to let some of them have a bit more). And she does talk regularly about the kids holding onto their language and culture earlier she wasn't as keen or happy about it but now she seems keen to encourage it. One thing I never got the vibe of was this household doing physical punishments.

Oh good glad it was not just me. I kind of liked her. Still think she is raving nuts for what she has taken on. :shock:

[gardenvarietycitizen]

From reading her entire blog, I get the impression that Harper is Adeye's favorite child and that Haven is her least favorite. Maybe Harper just enjoys having her picture made more, so there are more posts dedicated to how cute and precious she is, but there are also some undercurrents of disappointment and frustration when Adeye writes about Haven.

In one post, Adeye says that Haven taught her to love while getting nothing in return. In another, Adeye says it's ten steps forward and twenty steps back with Haven. Haven doesn't seem to have progressed since Adeye adopted her and it feels like Adeye has sort of given up on her. Haven got glasses and Adeye was all, "Oh, hopefully this will change her life! She'll be able see! God's perfect! Yada yada yada."

Then Adeye says she wore the glasses for three days and won't wear them any more. Can Adeye not make her wear the glasses? Did they not work properly? Adeye just seems to give up and move on to the next kid. I hope Hannah-Claire is okay with taking care of Haven for the rest of her life, because that's what's going to happen there.

I wish there was an update on Hasya.

No kidding. I can't help but wonder how the first four kids (bio-sons plus first-adopted daughter) feel about the future, because they are the four who will grow up to have normal jobs with normal lives (though now I wonder how Adeye feels about higher education for them?). It seems that those kids have now been sent at least partly to an out-of-the-house school, so hopefully they're getting a good education and go on to qualify for more education, jobs, etc.

So now at home it's just the kids with disabilities, but from reading the blog I kinda wonder just what homeschooling is going on. Certainly with Haven, it seems they just sort of said at some point, "oh well, let's just let her be her, she's happy." I'm sure she is, but is that doing her any favors? She has NO communication - except Adeye says that's not a problem because hey, Hannah-Claire (first adopted daughter, also from China) always knows what she wants so we just ask Hannah-Claire. Which is a big red flag, to me, but also makes me think like you that of the four "earner" kids, Haven is gonna end up with Hannah.

And surely they love each other, etc, it's great to be happy, etc, BUT!!! Reality is that caring for a dependent who is always going to need a lot of services (she can't be left alone, with NO communication) and is never going to be able to go out and earn takes some SERIOUS resources, and not only love. Are they planning for that? I suspect it's more of "oh, Jesus will do something."

Because with the education too, I don't think they do anyone a favor by just saying "oh we accept you just as you are! We won't push! We won't have any concrete goals!" School should be tailored for kids of course but it's not supposed to be completely easy and stress free, it is a FAVOR for the kid to make her stretch a bit and hopefully get some skills, anything at all they can do to get some form of communication going, at all, will be a very good gift, and will improve her life so much, even if she is never going to be independent, the more she can express her own needs to even unknown people the better off her life is going to be. But reading the blog it just seems that at some point they just took "acceptance" to mean she doesn't have to really do anything. And you know that at least right now, the family is overwhelmed with the medical needs of the two new kids (particularly Hasya) and running to appointments and whatever else, how much organized homeschooling can possibly be going on? With "regular" kids who are able to keep their own place and read on their own it'd be one thing, but with a kid who doesn't even communicate? Structure, plz. (I suspect it's one major reason they've sent the older "normally schooling" kids out to school, in fact. But where does that leave the others? Haven isn't going to be 11 forever...)

And they've got FIVE kids who are going to need lifelong services, by the looks of it - some more or less than others. That IS going to radically impact the lives of the four independent working kids, even if everyone is loving and willing.

(hoping for an update on Hasya here, too. I do hope she has serious pain meds, having needed them myself in the past...)

[C Potter-Pirbright]

Did anyone read Adeye's post today? Was I the only one who wanted to say- you have 9 children, 5 of them with special needs and one extremely fragile, exactly how do you find all this time to weep for every other child? I'm not saying compassion is bad but how about some focus on the ones you've supposedly 'rescued'?

Maybe it is just me but I'd have a lot of problem focusing on anything outside of my children at a time like this. I hope Hasya and Kael are doing okay.

[chaotic life]

The only thing you SHOULD be focused on when you bring a new adoptee home is your children. I tell new adoptive parents to expect 4-6 months before they find their footing underneath them again. Honestly, I think the constant focus on the plight of so many others is a mark towards collecting behaviors.

[Morton Fan]

Oh good glad it was not just me. I kind of liked her. Still think she is raving nuts for what she has taken on. :shock:

Me too!

[Joan of Snarc]

Today is Hasya's 15th birthday, according to Adeye's blog. Happy birthday Hasya!

It sounds like she's spending it medicated and in a pack-n-play. :( I hope your life gets better, Hasya.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Today is Hasya's 15th birthday, according to Adeye's blog. Happy birthday Hasya!

It sounds like she's spending it medicated and in a pack-n-play. :( I hope your life gets better, Hasya.

Came in here to see if anyone else read this too...

And yeah, particularly the part at the top that they can't pick her up/snuggle/etc because movement is so painful. I'll bet it is, what with a shattered femur and all that. I DO hope the drugs are good, in 100% all seriousness.

I see she did get a wheelchair, so before this last problem was probably sitting up on a regular basis and seeing interesting stuff for the first time in just about ever, though.

[Joan of Snarc]

Our hearts ache. We’re longing to pick her up, snuggle her, and smother her with hugs and kisses. But right now, we cannot do that. Movement is terribly painful. And so we keep her still until she can tolerate being held again, until her fractured femur is somewhat healed.

I REALLY wonder if they broke her leg trying to hold her. I guess we'll never know. I also wonder if that leg will ever heal. Also, her eyes look like they don't focus at all. I wonder how much she can see. She is starting to look healthier, I think.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Well, now it seems all five special needs kids have some horrible virus - so yep, that very much includes Hasya too. :(

As for her eyes, she has extreme strabismus(?) they posted about it back when they were talking of the adoption. They aren't sure how far she can see, she can see stuff up close though as she follows stuff and looks at people. Probably at 15 though even if the eyes are made to be in parallel they won't work together? As it is now maybe she just looks through one or the other, I know when I go cross-eyed (happens fairly frequently for me, particularly in dim light) I do that.

Yeah, she's fattening up some. Hopefully she will gain that 10 pounds she needs to get more treatment, but I suspect it's going to take a long, long time. As said upthread already by several, these super-neglected kids do tend to look a lot better over a short period of time but then it plateaus out and the long haul begins. I just still get a vibe of "if we just love her at home it's all going to be fine" though. I suppose it depends on your definition of "fine" but the idea that they didn't want to believe that she'll always be small, even, just boggles the mind.

[Joan of Snarc]

She does sound desperate; she's dropped all the "God is perfect everything is perfect" crap. I can't imagine how difficult this life is that she's chosen for herself. I sure hope all those babies are okay.

It was amazing how long it took Hailee to get to 30 lbs. And I can't tell that Haven has grown much since her adoption, either. Harper has obviously done so much better, being adopted at a younger age. What a difference that makes.

[mockingbird]

Well, now it seems all five special needs kids have some horrible virus - so yep, that very much includes Hasya too. :(

As for her eyes, she has extreme strabismus(?) they posted about it back when they were talking of the adoption. They aren't sure how far she can see, she can see stuff up close though as she follows stuff and looks at people. Probably at 15 though even if the eyes are made to be in parallel they won't work together? As it is now maybe she just looks through one or the other, I know when I go cross-eyed (happens fairly frequently for me, particularly in dim light) I do that.

I remember reading something recently about how people do adapt like you describe and it's hard to overcome if you don't treat it early. I had strabismus and it was treated, but I still have a little bit. I mainly see out of one eye and the other functions as peripheral vision. I have been told I look drunk trying to even walk in a straight line with my "good" eye closed because it changes my depth perception so much. LOL However I think it can get so bad that your brain basically "turns off" one of the eyes so you lose that vision entirely.

[greek_chorus]

I've been following this thread since the beginning and I must be stupid or something because I'm only just now able to articulate what bothers me so much about nogreaterjoymom and theresnoplacelikehome. I wish these parents would realize that their children aren't treasures, they're people.

I can get over the constant references to the children as blessings but to always refer to them as treasures is disturbing. They are not things, they are not diamonds or rubies or gold. They do not have a quantifiable value that can be independently appraised and insured. BUT most importantly they are not inanimate objects to be placed on a shelf and admired from afar.

My new definition of Child Collector is anyone who refers to their children as treasures.

[Joan of Snarc]

So Former Top International Male Model Anthony (even though I saw the pictures I still have trouble believing that) just posted that Harper is in the ICU with Influenza-B and pneumonia. Poor little Harper; she is so freaking cute. I wonder if she is that sick how Kael and Hasya are doing? What a nightmare.

:cry:

[C Potter-Pirbright]

Sounds like poor little Harper has Influenza-B and pneumonia and is in ICU. Mr' NoGreaterJoy' just posted for Adeye.

Poor thing, hope the doctors help her feel better soon.

Also I have to agree, this might be the first real time that I'm seeing these parents almost admit to being overwhelmed by their treasures. I wouldn't say the facade is cracking but they aren't being able to police the keep things shiny and happy sounding as well as they might have before.

[Joan of Snarc]

:lol: Our posts are almost just alike. Great minds and all. :lol:

Now I'm all worried about Harper and I don't even know these people. :roll:

Damn that uber-Christian bitch for having such a compelling story! :violence-uzi:

[C Potter-Pirbright]

I know right! Its amazing how terrible I feel for these poor kids whom, I don't actually know, but have , I want to say feelings of disgust for these parents, even though they're all obviously dealing with the child in hospital (I'm not sure I'm making sense at all).

Damn them for having these cute 'collections' of kids.

[Carla Bruni]

I can get over the constant references to the children as blessings but to always refer to them as treasures is disturbing. They are not things, they are not diamonds or rubies or gold. They do not have a quantifiable value that can be independently appraised and insured. BUT most importantly they are not inanimate objects to be placed on a shelf and admired from afar.

^^ Agreed. The other thing is - and you see this a lot with quiverfull families and their blogs - is that none of these children are ever described as having a truly unique set of characteristics. They're all "blessings", "loves", "sweet", "beautiful", "such a joy", "God's gift", etc - totally generic terms that could be applied to any child. It's like the parents never even bothered to learn about the unique traits that make that one specific child unlike any other, and just apply the exact same labels to all of them instead. I've always been weirded out by this with the Duggars - how every time Boob/Mullet try to describe one particular one in the litter, they can't come up with anything different to say - but with child collectors, it's even worse because these kids DID miss out on bonding with their parents for the first X years of their lives, and they don't even get to feel special now. :evil: