This is what creepy looks like: Covenant Wedding

[ElphabaGalinda]

Add me as another who thought this was a wedding until I looked closer. Ewwww doesn't even begin to cover how disgusting I find this. A public pledge of purity is disgusting enough and the shame and pressure of such a thing makes it in no way a free choice. But I don't think anyone could look at this and not think incest.

Anyone could choose not to have sex as much as they want for whatever reason they feel is best, but there's no reason to make a public declaration and it should never be about so called "purity".

[canela]

The signing of the "Pledge" reminded my of the paperwork a bride, groom, and witnessing sign at the end of weddings. Or even the signing of a Ketubah. No disrespect meant to any married people or those of the Jewish faith here.

The ugly paper makes it look like it was written on the back of a pizza box. And that is the very LEAST of what is wrong with this entire post.

[Sprocket]

OMG I remember these people! Didn't her daughter come and yell at us in all caps? Color me surprised that these people have gotten weirder. And it's been said, but parent's involvement in their child's sex life to this extent is just unhealthy. I mean, did they have to have a dinner and seating? Count me in as someone who thought I was reading about a wedding until I got to the bottom. And did they really tape up the pledge to the wall? Way to shame a girl if she doesn't live up to these expectations. Ditto to whomever said that they waited until this girl turned 17 and was almost an adult (and above the age of consent) before they hosted this showboating exercise. Isn't this something that eleven year olds do? Methinks that she had her eye on a boy and her parents did not approve, hence the "I will not give pieces of my heart to anyone my daddy doesn't like" spectacle.

ETA: is she referring to us as her "fan club" on facebook? Seriously, lady, we haven't talked about you in forever.

[Maul the Koala]

I'm thinking she's referring to FJ as her 'fan club' as well. I like how she says that we are saying vile things. If she's referring to her family's past, you put it out there for all to see. Suck it up buttercup.

[Deleted07]

Elizabeth O. McBrideTuesday, July 24, 2012 7:11:00 PM

Is there a similar covenant that boys take? I've read other bloggers who share stories about purity rings and covenant ceremonies but it's always about daughters. I haven't seen anything about sons.

I too have trouble with catch, not just yours but on other blogs too.

Reply

Replies

CherylWednesday, July 25, 2012 6:30:00 AM

Good question! I'll be answering this and other questions in a post on Friday. Stay tuned!

AnonymousWednesday, July 25, 2012 1:34:00 PM

I was just wondering the same thing about boys.

Terisa

AnonymousTuesday, July 24, 2012 10:36:00 PM

Would you do this for your sons? I think its a good idea!

I think its a good idea to have them make a purity pledge between them and their Momma! I also like the idea of a ceremony with all their friends in attendance, because I agree, peers play a major role! Especially for our young men!

A ring of purity along with their pledge and peer support, would be a definitely solidifying factor to our sons in their purity and respect for themselves and women! :-)

Reply

Replies

CherylWednesday, July 25, 2012 6:34:00 AM

I will be writing a follow-up post of questions and answers on Friday. Stay tuned!

:| oh. :roll: I can't wait. :?

[Guest Anonymous]

I'm thinking she's referring to FJ as her 'fan club' as well. I like how she says that we are saying vile things. If she's referring to her family's past, you put it out there for all to see. Suck it up buttercup.

So let me get this straight. Killing animals, beating and generally terrorizing children, fucking around on your spouse, treating your daughters like property, and having creepy incest evoking pseudo-weddings = totally fine.

Being aghast that people behave that way = vile. Okay then.

[desertvixen]

What's wrong with just saying "sex can get complicated, also sometimes you can get sick or pregnant so be careful".

This. Any kind of relationship can get complicated, but sex does add another layer.

I plan to tell my daughter the same thing my mother told me - your first time should be saved for someone special and worthy of you.

[bananacat]

This. Any kind of relationship can get complicated, but sex does add another layer.

I plan to tell my daughter the same thing my mother told me - your first time should be saved for someone special and worthy of you.

If I have kids, I'll tell them the truth. The first time generally sucks and it won't live up to its hype. Just be sure to use protection.

[pomology]

So let me get this straight. Killing animals, beating and generally terrorizing children, fucking around on your spouse, treating your daughters like property, and having creepy incest evoking pseudo-weddings = totally fine.

Being aghast that people behave that way = vile. Okay then.

Yeah, if that's vile, than I'm proud to be vile. These people are seriously warped.

[freejoytoo]

I hate how society sends out this message that sex HAS to special and loving to girls, for the the first time anyway, but for boys the first time is a bit of a joke and something to get over with quickly. For some girls, first time sex doesn't have to be special and some guys probably want it to be, yet they're teased for it.

Truth is the first time is usually a bit rubbish either way and you should just do what you're comfortable with!

[Koala]

I love this:

Cheryl:

I was wondering...when I went to leave a comment yesterday to thank you for featuring my post. I've set my comment moderator and that keeps them from posting, but some of the things they are saying are REALLY vile! I feel sheltered here in my sweet little corner of the earth, but the reality is we really do live in a ever-darkening world.

Her "sweet" little corner of the earth scares the shit out of me. In my corner of the world we don't cheat on each other and then hold ourselves up as a pillar of marriage. We don't treat our children like garbage or refer to them as "unlovable". We don't sit on couches with plumbing line in our hand waiting for our kids to get home from school....we actually don't hit at all and our children are some of the kindest people I know. We don't shoot each others pets. We also don't have umpteen dozen kids we can't afford to feed.

Cheryl can stick to her "sweet little corner of the world" and I'll stick to mine.

[Muriel]

I hate how society sends out this message that sex HAS to special and loving to girls, for the the first time anyway, but for boys the first time is a bit of a joke and something to get over with quickly. For some girls, first time sex doesn't have to be special and some guys probably want it to be, yet they're teased for it.

Truth is the first time is usually a bit rubbish either way and you should just do what you're comfortable with!

This.

[formergothardite]

Now, now, don't go bringing the BIBLE into this! They don't read it.

I once argued this point with a fundie and they said that God (who got Mary knocked up) is everyone's father, so he didn't have to go ask her earthly father permission since he was her heavenly father. And Mary totally went and asked permission from her earthly father before leaving the house to visit her relatives (even though it isn't in the Bible) and that she had a male family figure with her while she travelled (even though that is also not in the bible).

[2xx1xy1JD]

I found the post on child "discipline". This is how Haley was raised from the time she was a toddler:

http://treasuresfromashoebox.blogspot.c ... rayer.html

Again, she is in no position to say no to the covenant ceremony, or to think seriously and critically about whether her father is actually equipped to have any say in her future love life.

Cheryl's also invested in saying not just "I managed to bring my marriage back from the brink after infidelity", but in spreading the message that other women should be doing the same thing.

[kunoichi66]

Now, now, don't go bringing the BIBLE into this! They don't read it.

*spits mango juice over her computer*

:clap:

[SheWhoIsObeyed]

I always wonder with these people, what next?

They just dream up this shite so that they will feel special - entitled - above us heathens.

I guess if you look long enough you could justify anything biblically, but they are just going off the rails. Dominionism. Neo-calvinism or whatever they are. Patriarchy. Quiverful. Purity balls. Purity rings. Now Purity ceremonies. Really, what the hell is next? Are they going to start displaying the sheets from the wedding night? Gather around the bed and watch the consummation? Royalty did that, didn't they? God, don't tell Dougie.

[Loveday]

I always wonder with these people, what next?

They just dream up this shite so that they will feel special - entitled - above us heathens.

I guess if you look long enough you could justify anything biblically, but they are just going off the rails. Dominionism. Neo-calvinism or whatever they are. Patriarchy. Quiverful. Purity balls. Purity rings. Now Purity ceremonies. Really, what the hell is next? Are they going to start displaying the sheets from the wedding night? Gather around the bed and watch the consummation? Royalty did that, didn't they? God, don't tell Dougie.

I can just see it now, a Tudor-themed wedding, Dougie in full-on Holbein-inspired costume complete with blackwork embroidery and a codpiece ( :doh: ), eagerly leading the charge up the stairs to the bedding ceremony.

[2xx1xy1JD]

*spits mango juice over her computer*

:clap:

Oh, but according to her latest post, she's planning on getting around to it this year. (I would have thought that it helps to actually read it before preaching it, but what do I know?)

[Lady_M]

I can just see it now, a Tudor-themed wedding, Dougie in full-on Holbein-inspired costume complete with blackwork embroidery and a codpiece ( :doh: ), eagerly leading the charge up the stairs to the bedding ceremony.

Oh man. Time for the brain bleach...

[Hane]

How NOT to discipline a two-year-old for lying:

Haley was nearly three years old and usually I prayed for her. But this day I decided that she could pray and ask forgiveness herself. I explained all of this to her, as she was quieting down after the spanking.

She bowed her head before me and closed her sad, brown eyes. With her little hands folded and a single tear slowly streaming down her cheek, she sincerely prayed, "Dear Heavenly Fodder, Momma spank-edid my butt. Amen." I believe the Lord was smiling as much as this humbled Mommy.

Translation: The child has no freaking idea what prayer is, and probably is making no connection between her "lie" and the punishment meted out. A child this age is more likely to think she's just in trouble for making Mommy mad for some random reason.

And I believe the "Lord" was thinking, "Millstone, stat."

[kunoichi66]

Oh, but according to her latest post, she's planning on getting around to it this year. (I would have thought that it helps to actually read it before preaching it, but what do I know?)

I would have thought so too, but ours is apparently not to reason why...

[SisiL78]

This covenant is about protecting your child. I'm new to this family's blog but from what I've seen they have failed to protect their children for a while. Cheating on one's spouse is a failure of that. I'm all for them cleaning up their act and forgiving each other. That's great, I could never be that forgiving but I applaud others who are.

But, they are broadcasting the status of their Daughter's sexual decisions on a public blog as well as airing their own dirty laundry on this public blog. They are showing faces and not using psuedonyms. How is that protective?

Also, I find fault with the idea that you need to sign a covenant with your parents for them to look out after you in the romance department. That's a parents job. Their job is to privately look out for you (publicly if the situation warrants it I guess). I didn't need to sign a contract with my Mom for her to protect me from the asshats in the world. When I was in a negative relationship she counseled me to dump his arse. When I brought back my wonderful FH she told me she loved him as a son and helped talk me through rough patches so that our relationship would be stronger and better as the years went on. She relayed the experiences of her own mistakes to me so that I could learn without having to make the same painful choices.

If these parents want to sit down with their daughter and say out loud that they are there for her and that they will help her in every area including vetting a future spouse then that's great! But, this public ceremony is creepy (as a hundred comments have already said) and makes it seem like they need some formalization of their protection instead of having that built into the parent-child relationship. And by using this ceremony to get more blog traffic they are doing quite the opposite. Now, if she is ever entangled with a guy who wants to figure out how to use her all he has to do is google her name. He can use the pain of her parents infidelities and the confusion of this fundamentalist dogma and her purity pledge against her. Lovely.

[Koala]

This covenant is about protecting your child.

No. No it's not. This "covenant" is about controlling your nearly adult "child". It has absolutely nothing to do with protecting them. As it happens Cheryl and Terry decided to put on a show for their friends so they could see just how much control they have. It's disgusting.

[Maggie Mae]

So what makes a man qualified? Let's look to Terry for an example, shall we?

He must:

Cheat on you.

Treat your children like shit.

Shoot your dog.

That sounds lovely, doesn't it?

He shot the dog?????!!!!???

[Koala]

He shot the dog?????!!!!???

Yes. treasuresfromashoebox.blogspot.com/2012/03/getting-past-dog.html