This is what creepy looks like: Covenant Wedding

[Just_Jane]

God's match would be different? But they prayed on it! :shock:

Tsk tsk, that's Satan talking right here!

oops! It's the prayer closet for me then.

[bananacat]

Just an FYI, not all girls who personally choose to take a purity pledge do so because they think sex is dirty. I've know people who made the choice because they think sex is too special to share with someone they aren't planning on spending the rest of their life with.

Yes, they think it's so special that they'll be tarnished horribly if they do it. You can dress it up however you want, but equating purity with lacking sexual contact is never healthy. Have sex or don't; I really don't care. But if you call it purity, there's something wrong.

[CanadianHippie]

Yes, they think it's so special that they'll be tarnished horribly if they do it. You can dress it up however you want, but equating purity with lacking sexual contact is never healthy. Have sex or don't; I really don't care. But if you call it purity, there's something wrong.

Or no they don't think they will be tarnished if they do it, they just want to be more selective about who they do it with. Unless, of course, you have some ability to read the minds of every single person on the planet, in which case I suggest you start a business in which you tell people what they are really thinking.

[TVR]

I always wonder about this umbrella of protection thing: The angel never went to Mary's father to talk to him and ask his permission. God didn't speak to her through her father. How do they explain that?

[snarkbillie]

I always associate "purity" with things like solid gold or clean water. I don't like feeling like I'm "contaminated" just because I had sex or something. That's so damaging. I think I can express the "be careful who you fuck" thing without framing it around some bullshit "purity" thing with my girls. What's wrong with just saying "sex can get complicated, also sometimes you can get sick or pregnant so be careful".

[Rosa]

So the juice fast wasn't for "Radical health", it was timed just to get everyone down to lowest weight in time for the wedding ceremony.

[Mela99]

...Am I being Punk'd here?

Please tell me this is not serious...

[FundiesInMyFamily]

(snip) and shame her if she makes different choices down the line.

I think you hit the nail on the head here as to part of the reason why these ceremonies are becoming more and more public... it's like now instead of just being responsible to masterDaddy for her virginity, she's responsible to the community now as well. So if she does the dirty deed she's let everyone down and you bet everyone will know about it. Publicly shaming your kids is so loving, dontcha know.

[bananacat]

Or no they don't think they will be tarnished if they do it, they just want to be more selective about who they do it with. Unless, of course, you have some ability to read the minds of every single person on the planet, in which case I suggest you start a business in which you tell people what they are really thinking.

You can call it whatever you want, but if you're looking at it through the lens of purity, then you necessarily view non-approved sex as tarnishing. Look, don't have sex if you don't want to. But don't pretend that you're somehow more pure than you would be otherwise. Lots of people are celibate without using the purity terminology and without making a BFD with pledges and vows. I've had lots and lots of sex. I've also been celibate for years at a time. I never needed to become a born-again virgin or take make some pledge to myself or anyone else. I didn't want to have sex, so I just didn't. Then I wanted to have sex, and I did. I was never pure or impure during any of that. You can't call it a purity pledge without bringing along some hang-ups about, well, purity.

[Deleted07]

Would they do this to their sons? Make them have a purity pledge between them and their Mommy? have a whole little wedding-esque ceremony with all their friends in attendance and give them a ring of purity along with their pledge!?

If the answer is no, then why the frick are they doing this to their daughters!? WTF!

[longskirtlotsakids]

Agree with the above. Why is a daughter's purity so damn important while the guys are free to defraud the gentiles?

Saw a GREAT bumper sticker..

Slut: term for a woman with the sexual morals of a man.

[pomology]

That really was creepy as fuck.

[pomology]

Cheryl says, "We had given pieces of our hearts to so many different people that there was little left over for our “life partnerâ€." Normally, I think giving away pieces of your heart is ridiculous fundie bullshit, but in the case of Cheryl and Terry, I might actually believe she gave away all of her heart and she had no heart left, which is why she decided to marry such a sick fuck.

[thoughtful]

Not really on-topic, but, when looking at the picture of the young woman being, um -- honored :roll: -- with her Mom, I kept trying to figure out who she reminded me of.

Then it hit me -- a young Reese Witherspoon!

[Arete]

The signing of the "Pledge" reminded my of the paperwork a bride, groom, and witnessing sign at the end of weddings. Or even the signing of a Ketubah. No disrespect meant to any married people or those of the Jewish faith here.

And now, with it being too late for more wine, I will take a page out of deelaem's book a go wash my brain out with soap. :shifty:

[CanadianHippie]

You can call it whatever you want, but if you're looking at it through the lens of purity, then you necessarily view non-approved sex as tarnishing. Look, don't have sex if you don't want to. But don't pretend that you're somehow more pure than you would be otherwise. Lots of people are celibate without using the purity terminology and without making a BFD with pledges and vows. I've had lots and lots of sex. I've also been celibate for years at a time. I never needed to become a born-again virgin or take make some pledge to myself or anyone else. I didn't want to have sex, so I just didn't. Then I wanted to have sex, and I did. I was never pure or impure during any of that. You can't call it a purity pledge without bringing along some hang-ups about, well, purity.

You know, unless you had sex with the first person who asked, you and a friend of mine have only one different. She made a pact with her friends to stick to certain criteria when it came to her first time. It had nothing to do with purity, and everything to do with her not wanting to waste the time and energy of sex and its possible consequences on anyone but someone she decided to spend the rest of her life with. Her body, her choice, and you can decide what you perceive her mind set to be at the time but if all you can come with is "OMG SEX IZ DURTEEEE!" then that's just you stuck in just as much a black and white world as the family in thread mentioned in the original post.

[Patsy]

Refering to not having sex as "purity" does suggest that sex (or sex before marriage) is "impure".

[Chavymishmacoy]

QFT. Also agreeing with Haligh The Liar just above me.

Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.

Purity pledges just squick me out - if someone believes that waiting for marriage is best, that's fine. I don't agree but everyone is entitled to their opinion. It's the publicity/shame factor that bothers me.

Yes I do completely agree that women's right are equal to the rights of men. Not well though out on my part.

Purity pledges to your father are super creepy. Deciding to wait to have sex until your married, not creepy.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Cheryl says, "We had given pieces of our hearts to so many different people that there was little left over for our “life partnerâ€." Normally, I think giving away pieces of your heart is ridiculous fundie bullshit, but in the case of Cheryl and Terry, I might actually believe she gave away all of her heart and she had no heart left, which is why she decided to marry such a sick fuck.

Well, the problem with Cheryl and Terry wasn't that they had relationships with others BEFORE their marriage - it was that they were having extra-marital affairs. Can she not see the difference? Of course, if your attention is elsewhere DURING your marriage and you are not being honest and breaking your marriage vows, your marriage will suffer.

Why don't they concentrate on the main guidelines for healthy marriage (you know, not sleeping around, honesty, respect, treating the kids nicely, not killing the dog, not getting upset when getting called out for your infidelity, apologizing when you act like a complete jerk), which they obviously struggled with, instead of inventing more insane rules for their kids to break?

Also - what is the role of the mother in the fundie scheme of things? I've seen families that were involved with their adult children and gave plenty of advice, but the mothers were always heavily involved. [i don't know any fundies IRL, but do work with Jewish, Italian and Indian families, all of whom have very involved and opinionated mothers.]

[deelaem]

You're much more generous than I am. I don't agree with anyone who buys into the purity myth in general, and is perfectly willing to go through with these ridiculous pledges as long as the girl chooses for herself that sex is a horrible dirty thing that should be reserved for her husband. But I'll try to play nice if you really think this one can be educated.

Hope springs eternal! :D

[freejoytoo]

Sorry, I don't see why anyone needs to make a 'purity pledge'. It's a load of bull. It's disgusting to say that if you have sex you're less pure than someone who hasn't.

If you want to be conservative about your sex life, great. It's no business of mine and I'm not going to judge but I don't understand why you need some stupid ceremony for it and act like you're better than everyone else.

[margiebargie]

Been thinking about the ring. Instead of an umbrella, a key, and a heart - maybe it should be a stop sign in between a penis and a vagina.

[JaChelle Sugar]

That ring would be pretty if it wasn't for the umbrella's meaning. I hate the umbrella of protection idea.

I'm kind of in a debate with a fundy-lite friend on facebook about it and just what women need to be protected from and why people would assume there would be thing's to protect her from. I ask her and she says she doesn't know as she isn't a guy. *headdesk* Then her guy friend comes along and writes a long long explanation that my friend could totally have written. Classic party line stuff.

That's not even getting into the problem of using 'purity' as a doublespeak for all thing's sexual being repressed.

[lilah]

It is so weird how Cheryl and Zsuasana look like they could be sisters? They both have the same shriveled up mean look on their face too.

I can't wait for her to talk about male purity. She will probably say that they aren't going to have a big public ceremony to shame errr force their daughter into not exploring her adult sexuality but stay in para-adolescence until she gets married or gets pawned off on her brother, the dad will take his son on a camping/fishing trip to explain how no one likes to chew a used piece of gum (because comparing a person to a piece of gum is flattering) madonna/whore complexes and how breaking a woman's hymen is like so awesome.

[notsocommon]

I always wonder about this umbrella of protection thing: The angel never went to Mary's father to talk to him and ask his permission. God didn't speak to her through her father. How do they explain that?

Now, now, don't go bringing the BIBLE into this! They don't read it.