Fundie Recipes

[redcurls]

Well hey neighbor!

It's so cool to find other NKY FJers! Hi!

[PennySycamore]

All this talk of ambrosia reminds me of two people: one was a dear friend of mine who used to peel the oranges for his family's ambrosia on Christmas and the woman in Edward Scissorhands who talked about ambrosia salad. I think my friend's ambrosia was the old-fashioned kind with coconut shreds and NO COOL WHIP.

The old Woolworth's lunch counter in Albuquerque made a classic Frito pie. The waitress would ladle chili onto a bag of Fritos opened along the back seam and them top it with onion and shredded cheese. I think it sounds yummy and I regret that I can't stop in Woolworth's if I should ever again be in Albuquerque and have Frito pie. I need to develop a veggie version.

My husband had a scientific conference at Brigham Young back when he was in grad school. He said that BYU had candy stores everywhere.

[emmiedahl]

This recipe from the Duggar Family Blog makes Chickenetti sound decent.

Chicken & Noodles

Ingredients:

8 cans cream of chicken soup

10 T. Mex. chicken boullion

17 c. water

1 onion chopped (or 1 T. onion powder)

4-5 bags egg noodles

Chunks cooked chicken (optional)

Pepper to taste

Directions:

Boil Soup, Bouillon, Water, & Onion. Boil 5 min.

Add Noodles & chicken. Pepper either in pot or at table. Yummy!

Variations:

*If you're a whole grain family, try substituting egg noodles with whole wheat noodles.

Since when is chicken optional in Chicken & Noodles???

[redcurls]

Mom insists on making this vile orange dessert for every. single. occasion. Christmas? Baby Shower? Cookout? You need Orange Dessert! She will rant for 10 minutes on how delicious it is, punctuated with "So-and-So likes it, don't you?" She always gets a "Yeah...it's...good..." response and still hasn't caught on because no one will admit to her that Orange Dessert is garbage. I'm the only one who will straight-up say that it is nasty. I know she puts orange Jello, Cool Whip, and canned mandarin oranges in it, but not sure what else. It seems like perfect fundy food. Nasty, quick, and easy.

[emmiedahl]

Around here you have to show your license and tag. Half the tag stays on the deer or elk and the other half goes back to the state.

I only did this with goats, which were raised in my yard. I don't hunt. It saved me a ton of work and I really have no need for a goat pelt. :D

[emmiedahl]

What is Mexican Chicken Boullion? Is there a particular brand?

It is Knorr at my local Mexican grocery story. It is called tomato-chicken I think, but it has some heat. Most of the Latinos I know use it for Mexican rice.

[DarkAnts]

You're welcome! When I was a Mormon, I lived far outside of Utah and never got to experience funeral potatoes. One lady in my ward made something a bit similar (diced potatoes, a cheesy-looking sauce, but no Corn Flakes). Our funerals seemed to consist of 15 varieties of watery baked beans, 12 varieties of casseroles containing mushy, overcooked broccoli and a few assorted desserts. As for drinks, they only served tap water...which was from a well and smelled sulphurous. I was always so embarrassed to serve smelly, discolored tap water to grieving, non-member family members. :oops:

I LOVE funeral potatoes. They are a guilty pleasure for anyone who grew up in Utah. I make my own version of cream of crap soup for it. It costs less, taste better and is healthier. Its equal to of 2 cans of cream of chicken soup.

1-1/2 cup chicken stock

1 small onion chopped finely

2 cloves of garlic minced

1/8 teaspoon black pepper

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon dried parsley

dash of paprika

1 1/2 cups milk

3/4 cup flour

3/4 cup vegetable oil

Make a rue by whisking equal parts flour and oil. Put it in a sauce pan. Place sauce pan on medium heat and stir and scrap the bottom of the pan until the mixture is a light brown color. You have to keep stirring and scraping the bottom of the pan. You dont want this to burn. If it burns, toss it out and start over. Add onions and garlic and mix until onions become soft. Add chicken stock milk and spices. Stir well, cover and let Simmer for 15 min coved.

Please forgive the bad grammar and run on sentences. I have taken my nightly meds. I no longer have a working brain.

[Lillybee]

I checked out the Maxwell recipes just for fun. I can't believe how obsessed I am over this dumb family. There was really nothing to snark about in their recipes except for lack of flavor. But I did find this in 2009. It seems that a neighbor gave them some zucchini back in 2009 and they never had it before. I can't believe that the Maxwells have not be exposed to summer squash. That is so sad. I can't imagine what they would do if someone gave them a eggplant.

[itsnikki05]

If you absolutely know what you're doing, that shouldn't be a problem. However, after the french fry hot dish fiasco, I have my doubts. We dress and package our own fowl and fish. It's fairly easy with small game. But with a deer or boar, I think deferring to the expert is worth not having a whole deer ruined because you didn't butcher correctly.

ETA: Re: Frugal pizza. Homemade pizza is already cheap. What are these people doing?! Can we file an injunction to stop their abuse of innocent food stuffs?

Oooo... yeah. My FIL hunts, and wouldn't do his own deer. He has it fixed up by someone local. It's easier with fish, notsomuch with a big 'ol deer.

Also-- YES on the pizza! It's already cheap, and a lot better than putting some sauce and cheese on a slice of loaf bread and calling it pizza.

[emesbe]

Mom insists on making this vile orange dessert for every. single. occasion. Christmas? Baby Shower? Cookout? You need Orange Dessert! She will rant for 10 minutes on how delicious it is, punctuated with "So-and-So likes it, don't you?" She always gets a "Yeah...it's...good..." response and still hasn't caught on because no one will admit to her that Orange Dessert is garbage. I'm the only one who will straight-up say that it is nasty. I know she puts orange Jello, Cool Whip, and canned mandarin oranges in it, but not sure what else. It seems like perfect fundy food. Nasty, quick, and easy.

My mother in law does something like this. Except it's pink. So they call it pink puke. I haven't ever tried it. Because, ew.

[B5SnowDog]

I'm having Mexican style bbq pork chops, with rice and beans for the side. For a single I'll eat off of it for a couple days.

I made rainbow pasta salad the other day. I dice three large tomatoes, one green bell pepper, one orange bell pepper, and one yellow bell pepper. I toss the veggies in cooked Wacky Mac veggie spirals, splash with balsamic vinegar, add shredded Parmesan cheese, and then salt and pepper to taste. Very easy and filling.

[B5SnowDog]

I once ordered a box from the now-defunct (and apparently hideously corrupt) Angel Food Ministries and it had tube meat. It must have been last spring or summer, and a coworker who attends the fundie Pentacostal church convinced me to try it. Picking up the box was an experience in and of itself, but unpacking the box was pure comedy gold. Aside from the bread, eggs, and the frozen vegetables, we were kind of horrified at all of the other contents of the box. Of course there was the tube meat which I suspect was predominantly pink slime-based. There was also shit like an off-brand frozen lasagna, frozen meatballs of undetermined animal origin(s), a tube of ground turkey with tons of fillers, a mountain of artificially maple-flavored breakfast sausages, and the like. We donated the canned and boxed goods to the local food bank, used the frozen veggies and eggs, and the frozen crap stayed in the bottom of the deep freeze until a freak fall snowstorm hit and we lost power for over a week. We disposed of it all and made an insurance claim for it. :lol:

I checked into Angel Food a couple of years ago and didn't think it was really that good of a deal for my area. I wonder if the corruption would explain the higher-than-expected prices.

[Sola]

Were those shelves right above that crib? While a baby was using it? :shock: And that cheese thing looks like something someone forgot to put back in the fridge (for at least a month). Her poor kids.

Oh yes. There was a baby in the crib and a toddler on a bare mattress UNDER the crib.

See the picture of the child asleep in the bed? He wasn't asleep, he was in a coma.

As for the food, I have made paneer, we eat a lot Indian food here - we love it. But using a dress? Gah, that doesn't ben bare thinking about.

OK, worse fundie recipes:

1. TTC, there couldn't be anything else in the number one spot really.

2. Chickenetti, wtf is that all about.

3. Gloodles, nuff said.

4. Floor cheese, see above

5. Zsu's cool whip and jam dessert, sounded vile.

5. Anything that Emily cooked.

[Muriel]

I made rainbow pasta salad the other day. I dice three large tomatoes, one green bell pepper, one orange bell pepper, and one yellow bell pepper. I toss the veggies in cooked Wacky Mac veggie spirals, splash with balsamic vinegar, add shredded Parmesan cheese, and then salt and pepper to taste. Very easy and filling.

Thank you for posting this recipe ! This what I call real food, with nothing coming from a can or a bag of frozen something...

It doesn't need to be complicated, neither to spend hours in the kitchen...

Throwing together random ingredients from various cans and packets is not cooking for god sake !

And those people dare to put this so called "recipes" in "cookbooks" I don't know if i should laugh or cry :lol:

[Clementine]

But do the fundies eat this crap all the time or is it just an occasional treat? I would love to see a weekly menu from the families.

I have comfort foods that are... not too healthy, but I have them maybe once or twice a month.

[Clementine]

I made rainbow pasta salad the other day. I dice three large tomatoes, one green bell pepper, one orange bell pepper, and one yellow bell pepper. I toss the veggies in cooked Wacky Mac veggie spirals, splash with balsamic vinegar, add shredded Parmesan cheese, and then salt and pepper to taste. Very easy and filling.

I did a similar pasta salad yesterday, but my veggies had gone a bit soft and wrinkled and weren't really crunchy... so I just threw everything on the grill and made some homemade beef burgers with feta cheese and rosemary from the garden. I mixed the vegetables with pasta and homemade pesto that I have in the freezer.

A quick meal that would have been relatively easy to make for a big family. I don't understand why the fundies who own their own homes and have a garden or a piece of land don't grow their own vegetables. The kids are aldready used to doing a lot of work in the household so they might as well be asked to help grow vegetables and have fruit trees and different kind of berries. Since the girls are supposed to be "skilled hommakers", they could learn to freeze, dry and can the crop.

[luckystone]

I don't understand why so many fundies eat such crap when they have mothers and daughters at home all day who could easily cook really delicious stuff the rest of us try and make with a quarter of the time. They think women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, homemaking and being helpmeets, don't they have higher expectations of food? Or are they just really that ignorant and unedcated about health?

[OkToBeTakei]

The US does not have the monopoly on canned or processed food. Just back from the Supermarket and I just realised that in actual fact I just pass it because I would not consider buying it, but it is there. Too funny my shop took half an hour longer due to this thread 8-)

Spam. How could I have forgotten Spam. Tinned meat of dubious origin which spawned a cultural phrase 'Spam Valley' (People who bought large houses, large cars but secretly survived on Spam) Tinned Corned beef.

Pot Noodle. Basically any food that you add water to and it becomes a foodstuff in under 2 minutes kind of freaks me out.

Kraft processed rubber cheese and DAIRYLEA I LOVE DAIRYLEA Haha.

I found tinned Chilli, AND tinned Haggis. Alas no tinned Chicken.

Just about every food that was marketed for kids was rubbish except some Yoghurts and Smoothies Turkey Twizzler anybody? We have no Tatertots here I'm gutted :(

Plenty of Campbell's soup..hand on heart I had no idea how much was there as I never buy tinned soup. Soup is SO cheap to make. My Mother recalled a recipe that used one. Chicken breasts, broccoli, Cream 'O' Crap mixed with Mayo and Curry powder (I kid you not.) The fundies could use tinned green beans and chicken. Gourmet style.

I am going to make a Spam sandwich, I had to buy a tin, just to see how crap it is. It was also not cheap for the same price I could have bought 4 slices of Angus beef, But I will suffer for my err art?

Ramble over.

[Sumeri]

But do the fundies eat this crap all the time or is it just an occasional treat? I would love to see a weekly menu from the families.

I have comfort foods that are... not too healthy, but I have them maybe once or twice a month.

I'd guess more regularly than most. We have funeral potatoes here - and not from fundies exclusively, just your plain old run of the mill small town Catholics and Lutherans - but we eat them at funerals. Because the church ladies can cook them up while everyone is at the funeral and feed the whole crowd when 400 people are suddenly lined up in the church basement. I confess to making TTC myself (only here it's hotdish) from time to time because my kids and husband LOVE IT.

Quick kind of on topic fact - around here bologna is referred to as "smooth meat". Eeeew! Or you can have ring bologna, which is a different monster entirely - more like sausage.

One of my friends recently had her adult daughter helping her clean out the pantry aand she found something like 50 boxes of jello. She said, "Mom! How many people are you expecting to die this year?" :lol:

[lawfulevil]

Well, I see no mention of my favorite potluck dish/form of suicide, so here goes:

Bacon Jalapeno Poppers:

16 oz cream cheese or neufchatel cheese, softened

2 oz sour cream

1 packet ranch dressing powder (store-brand works fine)

If you like onion, this is optional:

1/2 small onion, cut fine and wrung out in a paper towel, microwave for 30 seconds or sautee briefly, they should be softened but not yet transparent.

3-4 stems of green onion, chopped

Combine cream cheese, sour cream, and ranch powder. Fold in the onions. Dump into a gallon plastic bag, squeeze out the air, and refrigerate while you prepare:

30-40 (30 large or 40 small) jalapenos, choose:

unscarred for a milder flavor

scarred for a spicier flavor

WEAR GLOVES OR YOU WILL BE INCREDIBLY SORRY. Chop the heads off each pepper, then slit one side. Remove seeds and the white, leave a little if you like pain... I mean heat. A spoon works well for this. Rinse, pat dry or use the salad spinner.

Cut an opening in the bag and pipe each pepper about 3/4 full, then take:

15-20 strips cheap thin bacon cut in half, and wrap 1/2 strip around each pepper. Secure with a toothpick.

These can be stacked up and put back in the fridge to cook tomorrow, or:

Heat oven to 375, arrange peppers in a single layer on a rack over a cookie sheet lined with aluminum foil. Bake until peppers are tender but not mushy and bacon is done, 45 minutes or so.

Recommended by my husband: top finished peppers with sweet thai chili sauce.

Consume in haste, regret at leisure, but never enough to learn your lesson.

We made 100 of these for a Super Bowl party and didn't get to eat any of them. Don't make 100, the capsaicin will get into the air around you and get in your eyes.

Someone we know invented a vegan version but I can't say it holds up. Their homemade bacon substitute is good but vegan cream "cheese" melts too much.

[Muriel]

I don't understand why so many fundies eat such crap when they have mothers and daughters at home all day who could easily cook really delicious stuff the rest of us try and make with a quarter of the time. They think women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, homemaking and being helpmeets, don't they have higher expectations of food? Or are they just really that ignorant and unedcated about health?

:clap: QFT

[alysee]

I have to agree with that but also add to the fact that baby Jebus will take care of them so it's okay if they eat like that they won't get cancer or heart disease.

[Bozoette]

Candy (joyfulchristianhomemaking.com) has a new series on Christian homesteading! (Step 1: Become a Christian.) Today's entry features recipes for bread - and not just any bread, acorn and cattail bread, made fresh from acorns and cattail roots!

Of course, you CAN use regular ol' flour that you buy at the store, but why would you when you can spend your day collecting, smashing, boiling, and drying acorns into tasty acorn flour??

[Conuly]

It seems that a neighbor gave them some zucchini back in 2009 and they never had it before. I can't believe that the Maxwells have not be exposed to summer squash

Zucchini is one of the cheapest vegetables you can eat, even if you don't grow your own! How on earth can you raise a large family without eating lots of the stuff? (Heck, we only have me, my sister, my mother, and the two nieces and we eat a lot of the stuff, much to the kids' annoyance.)

[Wolfie]

Just about every food that was marketed for kids was rubbish except some Yoghurts and Smoothies

I'd look at the ingredients on those yogurts. Probably still rubbish, except that they include some dairy and cultures. Kids' yogurt is known for being full of sugar/corn syurp and artificial flavorings. (except one baby brand that I can think of)

And Campbell's soups are a comfort food for me, but that's because we had a family friend who worked for the company and would bring home too much from the company store "because it was such a good deal!" and we'd end up with lots of soup. I loved it when it was spaghetti-os, and I still buy those or Bernie-O's for myself on occasion. But the key is that they are NOT the main part of my diet, just a sometimes treat.

Canned chicken is not like spam, it's generally old layer hens that would be too tough to sell as regular food, so they are used in soup and canned meat. I have also canned my own chicken and chicken broth with meat- it looks awful, but isn't nearly as salty as commercial stuff.