Fundie Recipes

[Jessica]

The thing that cracks me up about the Joobz is that Wendy claims her cookbook is HEALTHY. "Fruitful", as she calls it. It's full of recipes such as that "French fry hot dish" and the (canned, soggy, metal-tasting) green beans sauteed in bacon grease. Yuck.

[FaeT]

IIRC, the jeub family is where mom had a baby at 15 and 17 and then married this guy and had 14 children with him and when the eldest daughter (i.e. not his) started rebelling he decided that kicking her out of the family was the solution and cut her off completely when she was 16 or 17. And Mom had no problem with this bc the daughter was "a bad influence" .. (So talk to her, treat her like a human, kick her out of the house. Don't kick her out of the family all together .. oh wait, she's not his kid so why should he care???) And then daughter had a baby at 18 and the parents missed the entire pregnancy and didn't even see her until the baby - who isn't entirely white - was like three years old. And these people have a book about "love in the kitchen"? How about love for your kids??

[TXDuck]

What happened to your 'Body is a temple' thing? Or is tube meat ok cos' it subliminally reinforces the 'Penis' rules all mentality? (That was sarcasm..the question is genuine.)

Well, they don't drink, smoke, dance, or show their knees. So clearly, whatever they eat is a-ok. /end sarcasm

[ADoyle90815]

any recipe involving cans of cream of chicken and cream of mushroom soup. I'll never understand the obsession with those soups in a meal.

I know this isn't a fundie recipe but Mormon punch and Mormon funeral potatoes are just as awful. One of my friend, who's ex-mormon, made a small batch of the punch and funeral potatoes and I almost vomited. The combination of the super sweet punch and beyond salty potatoes left an awful taste in my mouth.

The only thing I admit I like that is made with cream of mushroom soup is tuna casserole, and I don't have any fundies in my family, nor did I grow up Mormon. My Catholic grandma made something she called scalloped potatoes, but she used cream of mushroom soup, had sliced potatoes instead of hash browns, and added an envelope of onion soup mix to the soup. There was a layer of cheddar cheese on top, and it was a recipe she found in a magazine in the 50's when she was raising 6 growing boys. It was a way to feed a lot of people cheaply, just as Mormon funeral potatoes are. We pretty much ate that casserole at major holidays, and that was only to be polite.

Now, as an adult I do make a great au gratin potatoes, but I don't use any condensed cream of whatever soup and white cheddar. People in my family love that more than what my grandma made, and while it does have cream in it, it has far less salt. Even then, I only make it for holidays as it still is a pretty rich dish.

[samurai_sarah]

Were those shelves right above that crib? While a baby was using it? :shock: And that cheese thing looks like something someone forgot to put back in the fridge (for at least a month). Her poor kids.

Those were shelves, right above the crib. Emily was all about health and safety for her kids. :roll: But that cheese...it makes me gag when I even think about it.

[TXDuck]

Wow, when I read this thread I'm happy to live in France !

Please tell me that non-fundy Americans don't eat like that ! (I'm sure you don't, but you seem to use a lot more processed food than us French, for sure ;) )

Given the number of "WTF?!" comments, I'd wager most Americans don't eat like that. Heaven knows I don't. Admittedly, I can't use a lot of processed foods so the family is forced to eat fresher. And as fresh fruit and carrots are always something Picky Eater will eat, I always have to keep lots of those.

[Witsec7]

Man, beef goes on sale just like other meats! WHY CAN'T THEY JUST WAIT AND BUY IT?

Around here if you are buying a half or a quarter side of beef from the farmer your cost can be about $2.99 a lb, for grass feed beef.

Besides tube meat the Jeubs depend on game, all of the kids hunt and manage to kill at least one deer per person. Unlike folks around here who take their kills to a butcher, the Jeubs dress and package their own meat. They refuse to pay the $1 a pound that it costs to have freezer packaged meat flash frozen.

[slickcat79]

Please tell me you're kidding.

The most frightening thing to me about Anna's chickenetti was the fact that she claimed you could cook the chicken IN THE MICROWAVE I don't even defrost chicken in the microwave anymore because I hate how rubbery and weird-tasting it makes it if you leave it in a little too long. I can't imagine trying to cook chicken in it when you have a perfectly good oven or stove available.

Here's the Jeubs' "Frugal and Simple" pizza:

Choose any of the following for your crust:

Bread

Bagel

Tortilla

English muffin

Choose any of the following for your pizza sauce:

Ketchup

Ranch dressing

Tomato soup with a pinch of basil

Tomato sauce with a pinch of ground cumin

Salsa

Choose any of the following for your topping:

Onion, chopped fine

Jalapenos

Sauerkraut

Pepperoni

Sausage, browned and drained

Hamburger, browned and drained

Bacon, browned and drained

Black olives, sliced

Green olives, sliced

Canadian bacon

Lunch meat, cubed

Hot-dog, sliced

Green pepper, chopped

Tomato, chopped

Chicken, cooked, chopped

You can even have your choice of cheeses (wait for it!): cheese SHREDDED, cheese SLICED, or parmesan :? They seriously publish this in an actual cookbook. It's like the Maxwells' fruit pizza...NO ONE EVER IN THE WORLD has ever thought of putting cheese and tomato sauce on a bagel and making pizza. Oh, wait...

[slickcat79]

IIRC, the jeub family is where mom had a baby at 15 and 17 and then married this guy and had 14 children with him and when the eldest daughter (i.e. not his) started rebelling he decided that kicking her out of the family was the solution and cut her off completely when she was 16 or 17. And Mom had no problem with this bc the daughter was "a bad influence" .. (So talk to her, treat her like a human, kick her out of the house. Don't kick her out of the family all together .. oh wait, she's not his kid so why should he care???) And then daughter had a baby at 18 and the parents missed the entire pregnancy and didn't even see her until the baby - who isn't entirely white - was like three years old. And these people have a book about "love in the kitchen"? How about love for your kids??

Forget Love in the Kitchen. Their newest book and their entire "ministry" is called "Love Another Child" :roll: Yeah, sure...love another child, while ignoring and neglecting the ones you already have. Try to bring that up on the website sometime and see how quickly you get the ban hammer.

[TXDuck]

Besides tube meat the Jeubs depend on game, all of the kids hunt and manage to kill at least one deer per person. Unlike folks around here who take their kills to a butcher, the Jeubs dress and package their own meat. They refuse to pay the $1 a pound that it costs to have freezer packaged meat flash frozen.

If you absolutely know what you're doing, that shouldn't be a problem. However, after the french fry hot dish fiasco, I have my doubts. We dress and package our own fowl and fish. It's fairly easy with small game. But with a deer or boar, I think deferring to the expert is worth not having a whole deer ruined because you didn't butcher correctly.

ETA: Re: Frugal pizza. Homemade pizza is already cheap. What are these people doing?! Can we file an injunction to stop their abuse of innocent food stuffs?

[smores]

Hello from just across the river in NKY!

Lol. I actually live in NKY but said Cincy for simplicity. I live in Ft. Mitchell :)

[smores]

IIRC, the jeub family is where mom had a baby at 15 and 17 and then married this guy and had 14 children with him and when the eldest daughter (i.e. not his) started rebelling he decided that kicking her out of the family was the solution and cut her off completely when she was 16 or 17. And Mom had no problem with this bc the daughter was "a bad influence" .. (So talk to her, treat her like a human, kick her out of the house. Don't kick her out of the family all together .. oh wait, she's not his kid so why should he care???) And then daughter had a baby at 18 and the parents missed the entire pregnancy and didn't even see her until the baby - who isn't entirely white - was like three years old. And these people have a book about "love in the kitchen"? How about love for your kids??

Were they on a TLC special or show? I feel like I saw a family like that on one once, but I don't know if it was them or not.

[Witsec7]

If you absolutely know what you're doing, that shouldn't be a problem. However, after the french fry hot dish fiasco, I have my doubts. We dress and package our own fowl and fish. It's fairly easy with small game. But with a deer or boar, I think deferring to the expert is worth not having a whole deer ruined because you didn't butcher correctly.

My concern is keeping a large animal chilled and uncontaminated. Also a freezer that will freeze that much meat quickly so there is no spoilage. I routinely get fowl from friends during bird season and it's no biggie to throw a half dozen chuckers in my small chest freezer. Even with a large chest freezer a couple hundred pounds of deer can take a couple of days to freeze.

[Dinorah]

I really don't know how people who claim to give their daughters "PhDs in homemaking" can be such terrible cooks. Evil feminist atheist Amanda Marcotte seems to cook much healthier and elaborate dishes.

[smores]

My concern is keeping a large animal chilled and uncontaminated. Also a freezer that will freeze that much meat quickly so there is no spoilage. I routinely get fowl from friends during bird season and it's no biggie to throw a half dozen chuckers in my small chest freezer. Even with a large chest freezer a couple hundred pounds of deer can take a couple of days to freeze.

Why does it seem like fundies and any sort of knowledge about food just don't go together? This disturbs me, I don't hunt so I'd never thought of it but ew.

[Witsec7]

Really how hard is it for Wendy to soak two lbs of white beans over night, add a pound or two of carrots, and onions with some FRESH garlic and throw it into an electric turkey roaster all day? An hour before serving add 8 boxes of frozen chopped spinach? Or some diced squash?

[OkToBeTakei]

If you absolutely know what you're doing, that shouldn't be a problem. However, after the french fry hot dish fiasco, I have my doubts. We dress and package our own fowl and fish. It's fairly easy with small game. But with a deer or boar, I think deferring to the expert is worth not having a whole deer ruined because you didn't butcher correctly.

ETA: Re: Frugal pizza. Homemade pizza is already cheap. What are these people doing?! Can we file an injunction to stop their abuse of innocent food stuffs?

I just made American Bruschetta for supper...It is what we call a lengthwise cut French stick with (sit down Fundie health cookbook lady) FRESH tomatoes Basil and Mature cheddar shaved on top. (Think you US folks call it sharp)

I am purposed next time to use Ketchup and Velveeta with maybe a shaved Green bean (canned) For garnish. This JOBBY women makes Zsu look good...OH wait I think Zsu feeds her kids well, not to 'care' but just so she can tell every body else they are doing it wrong.

[slickcat79]

Were they on a TLC special or show? I feel like I saw a family like that on one once, but I don't know if it was them or not.

They were on Kids by the Dozen...I don't remember if that was on TLC or DIscovery. Apparently Wendy was also on The Secret Lives of Women: Born to Breed, but I never saw that.

[Witsec7]

I'm having Mexican style bbq pork chops, with rice and beans for the side. For a single I'll eat off of it for a couple days. The pork loin was .99 a pound. I soaked the beans on monday and cooked them in the crock pot yest while I was out. I could get the rice going now if I wanted to get off my dead ass and empty the dishwasher.

@TDX duck, I took a master food preservers course though extension when they still were having them. We dressed and butchered pigs, goats, fowl and fish. Our instructors were very serious when it came down to folks having the right freezer temps and adding loads to freezers. I stopped hunting years ago. But there is nothing nastier than getting a piece of home dressed elk and finding fur in your food.

[Didi]

I always thought velveeta was just the cheese packets in "Deluxe Mac and Cheese" in a big block... but it's not... the block isn't as yummy ;-)

[FaeT]

Were they on a TLC special or show? I feel like I saw a family like that on one once, but I don't know if it was them or not.

Yeup. They were on that "kids by dozen" show. I think they only had 13 at that point. I don't remember her being pregnant so whatever the others are discussing might be another special. (Or I'm just not remembering a pregnancy)

[FaeT]

Forget Love in the Kitchen. Their newest book and their entire "ministry" is called "Love Another Child" :roll: Yeah, sure...love another child, while ignoring and neglecting the ones you already have. Try to bring that up on the website sometime and see how quickly you get the ban hammer.

Oh I am SO there ..

[smores]

Yeup. They were on that "kids by dozen" show. I think they only had 13 at that point. I don't remember her being pregnant so whatever the others are discussing might be another special. (Or I'm just not remembering a pregnancy)

I remember them now. I didn't like them then, I dislike them much more now.

[alysee]

Thanks to all the talk about pizza, I am going to have pizza even though I have beans on the stove for chili. Or maybe I want bruschetta. Oh man all I want is good fresh tomatoes.

[Hane]

Note to everyone who needs a good palate cleansing after reading this thread:

Ladies' Home Journal has a big bunch of recipes for fresh veggies that are in season now: tomatoes, zucchini, corn, and so on. Yum!

And it also has a great article about how a LOT of women over 45 have far better lives after they divorce. (Fun fact: Most divorced women middle-aged and up are the ones who filed FIRST! Team Single Grandmas!)