Apocalypse of Peter, the punishment for each sin in Hell

[Squeaky]

Does anyone else find themselves having to fight the subconscious feeling that this is a Japanese poetry thread?

Yes! I feel like I'm reading Engrish.

Sorry guys, I was kind of hoping to get some non-crazy explanation.

Also, I am wearing neither a costume nor nail polish but could scrounge up a recipe if required to do so as penance.

[Mark Dreher]

Does anyone else find themselves having to fight the subconscious feeling that this is a Japanese poetry thread?

How dare you?

This is not haiku.

If that is what you are trying to say.

These are called "epigrams".

And they are in the bible.

"Ah the Lord our God, is he not a speaker of parables?".

I am sorry I had to deal with you sternly.

[Burris]

He sent out a challenge for me to come.

http://freejinger.yuku.com/topic/7820/A ... ant?page=1

The logic of the snarkers here is mighty fine he says.

Not possible.

Says I.

I say you're incoherent and should consider getting professional help. Being obviously mentally ill isn't a bannable offense. But - and this is just a reminder - threatening people will get you banned again, and for a lot longer than last time.

Please be on your best behavior while here, Mark Dreher.

[Mark Dreher]

Yes! I feel like I'm reading Engrish.

Sorry guys, I was kind of hoping to get some non-crazy explanation.

Also, I am wearing neither a costume nor nail polish but could scrounge up a recipe if required to do so as penance.

You are going to get arrested.

At least put on an apron or something.

It is Halloween.

[defrauding]

I'm disappointed that this thread does not involve Peter Bradrick and his band of merry men brotherhood of protectors.

[Mark Dreher]

I say you're incoherent and should consider getting professional help. Being obviously mentally ill isn't a bannable offense. But - and this is just a reminder - threatening people will get you banned again, and for a lot longer than last time.

Please be on your best behavior while here, Mark Dreher.

See.

He is already getting rough with me.

[Squeaky]

I'm disappointed that this thread does not involve Peter Bradrick and his band of merry men brotherhood of protectors.

I would bet lots of money he's making finger guns at the camera just out of frame.

[Mark Dreher]

I am at work wearing a 1960s Girl Scout Uniform, maryjanes, and my hair in pigtails. Ladybug gets to go trick or treating for the first time ever tonight! There was a party at church yesterday, but tonight is the real thing. She, of course, and at her own choosing, will be a ladybug.

We talked about where Halloween comes from, in an age appropriate way, because I do not want her growing up with an insular, myopic belief system. She knows that not everyone believes the same thing, or anything at all, and it is what her heart tells her that matters most. I think I have a little pagan on my hands, and I won't stifle it.

You must stifle that little pagan.

And then some.

Did you see the movie Damian?

At least don't go up any ladders.

For God's sake.

[Mark Dreher]

I would bet lots of money he's making finger guns at the camera just out of frame.

Hey.

That is not fair.

That is not my photo.

I am a very handsome fellow.

thenewholybible.org

I am the handsome guy on the left.

Deep blue eyes.

Frowning.

That guy there has big ears.

Give me a break.

This is blasphemy.

Technically.

[Mark Dreher]

I would bet lots of money he's making finger guns at the camera just out of frame.

This is me.

Silly.

[Mark Dreher]

Yes! I feel like I'm reading Engrish.

Sorry guys, I was kind of hoping to get some non-crazy explanation.

Now Squeeky, I answered your questions.

In a complete and understandable way.

You asked if "I was a gnostic?".

And I told you "no".

And you asked if anything else was missing from the canon of the bible?

And I said "not really".

The Catholics have made up a fake version of the ten commandments.

Dropping off the second commandment.

That would be about all I would add.

If you are stuck with a fake Catholic bible.

[Mark Dreher]

Wow! OK, sorry guys. Consider those questions un-asked.

Squeeky, you fold too easy.

Broad is the path to destruction.

I think the saying goes.

They released the last words of Steve Jobs today.

They were "Oh wow! Oh wow! Oh wow!"

It sounds like the atheist had his life flashing before his eyes.

But that is not possible.

Because God is fake.

Right?

[Mark Dreher]

LOL, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch can't take a hint.

I'm not making THIS up, Marky Mark was really hot http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eSN8Cwit_s

You know, I feel God speaks through Lenny Kravitz.

Don't you?

youtu.be/aNkrP6EfJ1c

Welcome to the Millennium

[Angri-la]

Halloween Haiku

Manly sugar crash

Dude is talking to himself

King of ignore lists

I fed the troll, but it was begging for candy corn, and I am not totally heartless; plus, someone mentioned Japanese poetry upthread.

Edited: Patriarch has too many syllables, and too many followers!

[Mark Dreher]

Halloween Haiku

Manly sugar crash

Dude is talking to himself

King of ignore lists

I fed the troll, but it was begging for candy corn, and I am not totally heartless; plus, someone mentioned Japanese poetry upthread.

Edited: Patriarch has too many syllables, and too many followers!

I hear you.

I feel your pain.

But really, do you have anything other than candy corn?

That is too cruel.

I hope you are kidding.

[Mark Dreher]

I think he would be the perfect actor to play Joe Morelli in the Stephanie Plum series, if a movie ever gets made again (according to IMDB there was a movie made, but I don't recognize any of the actors, if I remember correctly).

I still have to find a costume for my youngest. I can't sew, so I have to buy one. He wants to be a character from Yo Gabba Gabba!

What happened to just using a bed sheet and being a ghost?

I used that about 35 Halloweens in a row.

Till I got patterned sheets.

Of course.

[Mark Dreher]

Yes! I feel like I'm reading Engrish.

I am not hip to your counter culture lingo.

Can you speak American?

[clibbyjo]

I think he would be the perfect actor to play Joe Morelli in the Stephanie Plum series, if a movie ever gets made again (according to IMDB there was a movie made, but I don't recognize any of the actors, if I remember correctly).

I still have to find a costume for my youngest. I can't sew, so I have to buy one. He wants to be a character from Yo Gabba Gabba!

I heard Sandra Bullock was to play Stephanie(is that off now?) and Sherri Shepard as Lula. I want to see who plays Ranger, I always picture him the hotter of the two. I could see Mark as Morelli.

[Mark Dreher]

I heard Sandra Bullock was to play Stephanie(is that off now?) and Sherri Shepard as Lula. I want to see who plays Ranger, I always picture him the hotter of the two. I could see Mark as Morelli.

Do I get to hang out with Sandra Bullock?

In this movie?

[Mark Dreher]

I would bet lots of money he's making finger guns at the camera just out of frame.

This guy is scaring me Squeeky.

Why did you put him on my thread?

He is going to haunt me in my dreams.

Atheists can be so cruel.

Not that I assume you are an atheist Squeeky.

More of a fundy hater.

On this board.

[Mark Dreher]

I'm probably going by protocol here by engaging you, but what sect do you belong to that you take these early christian writings as canon? Are you gnostic? What else that's not currently in the bible do you think should be in there?

Sorry guys. I'm always willing to talk non-canonical early Christian writings. Now I'm going to get nothing done ALL DAY today at work.

I don't belong to a "sect".

I am just pointing out that there really is a 28th book of the new testament.

The third letter of Peter.

It was included in the original "Muratorian canon", (as well as the Codex Claramontanus), which are the oldest known listings of the "canon" or the official books of the bible.

At some point this particular final "apocalypse" book was nefariously dropped from being the official last book of the canon and was replaced by the apocalypse book "The Revelation of John".

[Guest Anonymous]

I heard Sandra Bullock was to play Stephanie(is that off now?) and Sherri Shepard as Lula. I want to see who plays Ranger, I always picture him the hotter of the two. I could see Mark as Morelli.

I wish Jimmy Smits or Andy Garcia were 15 years younger, as either one would make a terrific Ranger. They both have that smoldering look. Oh, and the only possible person to play Grandma Mazur is Betty White.

[keen23]

I wish Jimmy Smits or Andy Garcia were 15 years younger, as either one would make a terrific Ranger. They both have that smoldering look. Oh, the only possible perton to play Grandma Mazur is Betty White.

No, the actual casting of One for the Money is a travesty. F'ing Katherine "Cast me in every rom-com movie" Heigl is Stephanie Plum. Jason O'Mara is Morelli (a born in Dublin actor as a hot Italian- I'm not buying it). Debbie Reynolds is Grandma Mazur (I don't have problems with this, mostly because I love Debbie).

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1598828/

[Mark Dreher]

I wish Jimmy Smits or Andy Garcia were 15 years younger, as either one would make a terrific Ranger. They both have that smoldering look. Oh, the only possible perton to play Grandma Mazur is Betty White.

THEY have a smoldering look??

Have you ever seen me from top to bottom?

It is quite impressive.

I think Jimmy Smits would have to take lessons from me, to learn how to smolder.

You are welcome for the photos.

And no, I don't have any pictures of my backside.

Before you ask.

I know this is a woman's website.

I get that all the time.

Just be glad my front is so good.

[ChickeyMonkey]

I wish Jimmy Smits or Andy Garcia were 15 years younger, as either one would make a terrific Ranger. They both have that smoldering look. Oh, and the only possible person to play Grandma Mazur is Betty White.

I disagree. I think Cloris Leachman would make an excellent Grandma Mazur.

I think that Sandra Bullock would be the perfect Stephanie Plum, but I think she's too old for the character, unfortunately. :(

My cast:

Stephanie: Sandra Bullock

Her mom: Helen Mirren (?)

Her dad: Dan Hedaya

Grandma Mazur: Cloris Leachman

Lula: Sheri Shepherd (?)

Morelli: Mark Whalberg

Ranger: ?

Connie: ?

Vinnie: ?

The characters wit question marks are ones that I'm still not sure if they're the right actor or not. :)