John and Alyssa Webster 14: Is It Time to Say the Family Is Complete?

[nvmbr02]

We never did yearly birthday parties for our kids. We did small parties when they were young most years but but we stopped when they were between 8-10. Instead they would choose a friend or two and we we do a fun activity or outing of their choosing. We celebrating their actual birthday at home with a dinner of their choosing or we went out to  favorite restaurant. 

 

My niece and nephew have birthday about 3 weeks apart. My sister always had combined big birthday party for them in the middle of the two. They would do a birthday dinner, desert and gifts from parents on their actual birthdays. This seemed like a good way to have one party but still celebrate each kid individually. 

[dawn9476]

2 hours ago, 0 kids n not countin said:

Does John still do the father-daughter "dates" on their birthdays?

Yes. He did one for Lexi's birthday a month ago. I think he starts doing them when they turn 4 so Maci is still a year away from her 1st one. She's the only one that has had a birthday since Lexi. Zoey's is in about a month and then Allie is a couple of weeks after that.

Edited February 25 by dawn9476

[SassyPants]

20 hours ago, nvmbr02 said:

We never did yearly birthday parties for our kids. We did small parties when they were young most years but but we stopped when they were between 8-10. Instead they would choose a friend or two and we we do a fun activity or outing of their choosing. We celebrating their actual birthday at home with a dinner of their choosing or we went out to  favorite restaurant. 

 

My niece and nephew have birthday about 3 weeks apart. My sister always had combined big birthday party for them in the middle of the two. They would do a birthday dinner, desert and gifts from parents on their actual birthdays. This seemed like a good way to have one party but still celebrate each kid individually. 

Yes, this is how we handled birthdays too.

[HermioneSparrow]

20 hours ago, nvmbr02 said:

We never did yearly birthday parties for our kids. We did small parties when they were young most years but but we stopped when they were between 8-10. Instead they would choose a friend or two and we we do a fun activity or outing of their choosing. We celebrating their actual birthday at home with a dinner of their choosing or we went out to  favorite restaurant. 

 

My niece and nephew have birthday about 3 weeks apart. My sister always had combined big birthday party for them in the middle of the two. They would do a birthday dinner, desert and gifts from parents on their actual birthdays. This seemed like a good way to have one party but still celebrate each kid individually. 

It's not really about how big or small the celebration is, it's more about the thought put into it. My parents never did big parties for us, usually it was just a nice cake, dinner at home, movie of the bday person's choosing, presents or an outing. It's much more significant to do something small that the kid will feel special and important than a big party with zero thought into it where you lump all of your daughters bdays just to save face, and that certainly is what they're doing. 

On the contrary, Alyssa is planning a party ahead of time for Rhett and you bet she'll pour her heart and soul into it. The message they're sending to their daughters is: He's special, and they are not.

Edited February 26 by HermioneSparrow

[nolongerIFBx]

23 hours ago, HermioneSparrow said:

It's not really about how big or small the celebration is, it's more about the thought put into it. My parents never did big parties for us, usually it was just a nice cake, dinner at home, movie of the bday person's choosing, presents or an outing. It's much more significant to do something small that the kid will feel special and important than a big party with zero thought into it where you lump all of your daughters bdays just to save face, and that certainly is what they're doing. 

On the contrary, Alyssa is planning a party ahead of time for Rhett and you bet she'll pour her heart and soul into it. The message they're sending to their daughters is: He's special, and they are not.

I fear that too, but we'll probably need to wait until a birthday past his first to really be able to tell that. They had huge 1st birthday parties for their girls. So I'll give the Websters a pass on this first birthday.

[SassyPants]

On 2/26/2024 at 7:46 AM, HermioneSparrow said:

It's not really about how big or small the celebration is, it's more about the thought put into it. My parents never did big parties for us, usually it was just a nice cake, dinner at home, movie of the bday person's choosing, presents or an outing. It's much more significant to do something small that the kid will feel special and important than a big party with zero thought into it where you lump all of your daughters bdays just to save face, and that certainly is what they're doing. 

On the contrary, Alyssa is planning a party ahead of time for Rhett and you bet she'll pour her heart and soul into it. The message they're sending to their daughters is: He's special, and they are not.

I don’t know how to put this in a nice way, but with these prolific reproducers, I doubt any child beyond a first son and daughter are deemed special. NONE of these folks focus on or nurture their children as individuals, so how would they even know why each one was special other than the rote “they were sent to our family by God” response?  Maybe KJ and G did foster Erins musical talents, but beyond her?????? IDK, but when you have a baby nearly every year for 20 years, how special is a new baby? Could Michelle/JB tell you 1 very unique quality, skill or passion that each of their children possess? I doubt it. These families treated their children like 1 person- any thing that made an individual one standout was drummed out and forbidden.

[nelliebelle1197]

So this was posted a few days ago but here is the Webster VALENTINE celebration. And while it is mostly about the girls and John, look how Alyssa titled the video. The girls got purses since they need to do chores now to buy an ice cream at Chick fil A

 

 

[dawn9476]

John is working from home now. Because his family business has hired more people and is still looking for more, he has a more managerial role that allows him to work at home. His office set up in their guest bedroom.

[gobucks]

The little sign at his desk calls him the CFO. How does being a service tech for 16 years qualify you to be the CFO? Oh wait, the last name. LOL

[raayx01]

22 minutes ago, gobucks said:

The little sign at his desk calls him the CFO. How does being a service tech for 16 years qualify you to be the CFO? Oh wait, the last name. LOL

Well he's 34 and probably been doing this since at least 18 maybe even 16 so 14 -16 years of experience.

[gobucks]

CFO means chief financial officer. He was a technician. There is literally no overlap in the business finances and working on an air conditioning unit in someone's home. He has no business degree. No finance degree. No background in anything in any way related to money and business. It is literally just nepotism. 

[llucie]

Well its his family bussiness so of course its nepotism. I wonder how Alyssa will manage with him at home all day, they seem the kind of married couple that benefits from not having to spend all day together... maybe she will finally get the girls to do some extra curriculars like dance or sports just to get herself out of the house.

Edited March 2 by llucie
spelling

[JDuggs]

13 hours ago, gobucks said:

CFO means chief financial officer. He was a technician. There is literally no overlap in the business finances and working on an air conditioning unit in someone's home. He has no business degree. No finance degree. No background in anything in any way related to money and business. It is literally just nepotism. 

In their family business, my guess is that CFO is the fancy way to say Office Manager. If he’s been trained, I’m sure he’ll be fine. 

[dawn9476]

15 hours ago, raayx01 said:

Well he's 34 and probably been doing this since at least 18 maybe even 16 so 14 -16 years of experience.

Yes, he mentioned that in the video. How he has been doing it full-time since he graduated from high school. He also worked for the business during the summers while in high school before that.

[Kiki03910]

14 hours ago, llucie said:

Well its his family bussiness so of course its nepotism. I wonder how Alyssa will manage with him at home all day, they seem the kind of married couple that benefits from not having to spend all day together... maybe she will finally get the girls to do some extra curriculars like dance or sports just to get herself out of the house.

Don't we all benefit from some time away from our partners lol? I guess I'm just having traumatic flashbacks to 2020, when my BF and I were both WFH and all but essential business were closed and it was sooooo awful. Once when he was at the grocery store, I briefly considered booby-trapping the front door. I love him and we get along super well, but that was just too much togetherness!

[Melissa1977]

10 hours ago, dawn9476 said:

Yes, he mentioned that in the video. How he has been doing it full-time since he graduated from high school. He also worked for the business during the summers while in high school before that.

All that time he has been a technician. He may be an expert in air conditioning installation, but I wonder how he'll manage the office work.

I can't understand how someone can work in a house with 5 little kids. They may be trained to stay quiet, but I highly doubt they are silent for the whole day. I would become mad working in that environment. I suspect that John is going to do very simple tasks and not a lot of them. 

For a person who loves quiet, Alyssa is adding more and more people and noise to her routine. She was so happy working part time (I wonder if part of her work well being was because she felt fine in the empty offices). She can't do it now. She looked definitely happier back then. 

[Baxter]

It's possible that John has been doing training in addition to his technician job. Obviously he wouldn't have this new job if it wasn't a family company but that doesn't necessarily mean that he will have clue what he's doing.

[rebeccawriter01]

I have a feeling his job is probably a little more on the sales and customer service side of things and the sign was a bit of a stretch/joke. Someone has to be the point person for those businesses and individuals under contract to have quarterly or yearly inspections. Someone has to dispatch people out and schedule technicians so that the contract clients and the emergency/one off clients are cared for expeditiously. Back in the day you would call as technician as needed and now it is more like a subscription service. When I bought my new place the HVAC was old so I wanted a tech to come look at it before I it potentially broke in the hottest or coldest season. Not five minutes into the visit I was getting calls from their office wanting me to sign a contract for more "well visits" for my system.

Personally, if I were John, I would want time away from Alyssa and the kids. However, he is getting older and probably doesn't want to be crawling and climbing around to fix everyone's HVAC.

[SassyPants]

21 hours ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

I have a feeling his job is probably a little more on the sales and customer service side of things and the sign was a bit of a stretch/joke. Someone has to be the point person for those businesses and individuals under contract to have quarterly or yearly inspections. Someone has to dispatch people out and schedule technicians so that the contract clients and the emergency/one off clients are cared for expeditiously. Back in the day you would call as technician as needed and now it is more like a subscription service. When I bought my new place the HVAC was old so I wanted a tech to come look at it before I it potentially broke in the hottest or coldest season. Not five minutes into the visit I was getting calls from their office wanting me to sign a contract for more "well visits" for my system.

Personally, if I were John, I would want time away from Alyssa and the kids. However, he is getting older and probably doesn't want to be crawling and climbing around to fix everyone's HVAC.

I wonder if John’s brothers, who are much older, have older sons who are now also in the business? Didn’t one of John’s brothers and a couple of nephews help with all the renovations in the Webster’s current home? 

See, and this is the difference between a family like the Websters with generational work ethic, and Gil Bates and JB Duggar. Gil and JB could also have thriving, solid, family, generational businesses, but for myriad reasons, they both found sustained, traditional work, beneath them. They were both poor male role models, IMO-

Edited March 5 by SassyPants

[JermajestyDuggar]

On 3/3/2024 at 2:08 AM, Kiki03910 said:

Don't we all benefit from some time away from our partners lol? I guess I'm just having traumatic flashbacks to 2020, when my BF and I were both WFH and all but essential business were closed and it was sooooo awful. Once when he was at the grocery store, I briefly considered booby-trapping the front door. I love him and we get along super well, but that was just too much togetherness!

My husband has been working from home since 2008. I’ve been a stay at home mom since 2012. So we have been used to togetherness for many years. However the pandemic was heinous because we couldn’t go anywhere. I thought I would go insane. 

[Kiki03910]

58 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

My husband has been working from home since 2008. I’ve been a stay at home mom since 2012. So we have been used to togetherness for many years. However the pandemic was heinous because we couldn’t go anywhere. I thought I would go insane. 

THIS, exactly. It was the limitation. I started begging work to let me back in the lab. We have great filtration, and I had my own office, well away from other people, where I could just keep my door closed. They finally relented after the longest 12 weeks of my life lol. I mean, I didn't really interact with anyone there, but at least I was out of my house and saw other human beings. We were walking every evening too, which also helped. (I realize how privileged we were in many ways, but that much isolation isn't good for anyone.)

[FiveAcres]

I was glad when the pandemic shutdowns started that partner and I had both been retired for a while. We had also been in this smaller house for over a year so we were used to sharing. However, I was still happy when he would leave to play golf and I when I would visit friends for visits on their deck.

[Scrabblemaster]

On 3/5/2024 at 1:24 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

My husband has been working from home since 2008. I’ve been a stay at home mom since 2012. So we have been used to togetherness for many years. However the pandemic was heinous because we couldn’t go anywhere. I thought I would go insane. 

Friends had both change to work from home when the pandemic started. They both missed the coffee breaks. So they bought an expensive coffee machine (because they had the money left from not going anywhere due to the pandemic). And then they met in the kitchen for coffee breaks. I thought that this was a genius idea. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, Scrabblemaster said:

Friends had both change to work from home when the pandemic started. They both missed the coffee breaks. So they bought an expensive coffee machine (because they had the money left from not going anywhere due to the pandemic). And then they met in the kitchen for coffee breaks. I thought that this was a genius idea. 

My husband and I do lunch breaks sometimes. Because he needs to just get out of the house sometimes. Since the kids are usually at school, it works well for us. I guess we don’t need to schedule weekly date nights like a lot of fundies because we just do lunch dates instead. And we don’t have to pay a babysitter that way. 

[gobucks]

This week's video... Alyssa and Rhett go to Papa Bill's farm. They flew. John took all 4 girls to co-op by himself. John had some problems at work that he was trying to fix while at co-op "so that was interesting". The girls did good for the day so he treated them to Panda (I assume Panda Express) and McDoanld's for Zoey who doesn't like Panda. The farm is still decorated for Christmas. I do think it speaks to Alyssa personality that she would rather spend money to fly by herself to the farm and spend that one on one time with her grandparents than bother coming up for I Love You Day party craziness. Alyssa cleaned up Christmas and mopped, swept, dusted, etc to surprise them. John took the girls to Costco to buy some lights for the laundry room. John says Sunday is the hardest day without Alyssa because he doesn't know how to get them ready for church. "Anybody know how to do girls' hair!?!" Allie said she knows but Zoey won't let her do her hair. Alyssa says it is bittersweet to say goodbye to the grandparents every time she leaves the farm but she's obviously excited to see John and the girls. I'm sure they will enjoy the footage in years to come of Jane with the baby.