John and Alyssa Webster 14: Is It Time to Say the Family Is Complete?

[Expectopatronus]

On 3/29/2024 at 10:35 PM, AbysmalCollins said:

This is exactly it. Alyssa starts "homeschooling" her kids ASAP because it gives her an excuse to sit them in front of a screen for hours every day. PBS kids on all morning? Lazy good for nothing mom! Abeka DVDs? Wow theY ArE so adVanCeD. 

 I don’t love DVDs and would rather Alyssa put her kids in school, even a fundie school where they could interact with peers but I do prefer that she pays for DVDs where an actual teacher is explaining the lessons instead of half-assing it like J Rod or using ACE booklets. The kids will have the ability to attend college since Abeka is at least accredited. The social studies program is highly problematic but the kids will be able to read, write essays and calculate. The bar is so low that they will be ahead of some of their peers.

[dawn9476]

On 3/31/2024 at 12:02 AM, Expectopatronus said:

 I don’t love DVDs and would rather Alyssa put her kids in school, even a fundie school where they could interact with peers but I do prefer that she pays for DVDs where an actual teacher is explaining the lessons instead of half-assing it like J Rod or using ACE booklets. The kids will have the ability to attend college since Abeka is at least accredited. The social studies program is highly problematic but the kids will be able to read, write essays and calculate. The bar is so low that they will be ahead of some of their peers.

Abeka's phonics program is supposed to be very good. Their math program isn't supposed to be that bad either. It's their history that's awful. And I think Alyssa has said she doesn't know what she is going to use when her kids start getting to middle school because I guess their program past elementary school isn't that good all around.

[SoSoNosy]

My daughter is fairly sure she used the Abeka phonics (she didn't home school for religious reasons) and honestly, her oldest could write a 10-page paper on a box of cereal, not start on it until a couple hours before it's due, and win an award for it.  She wrote a paper in Undergrad on an obscure book; didn't read the book just the Cliff notes and her professor, who was known to be tough, said she had never seen a better paper written on that book.

 

[just_ordinary]

20 minutes ago, SoSoNosy said:

My daughter is fairly sure she used the Abeka phonics (she didn't home school for religious reasons) and honestly, her oldest could write a 10-page paper on a box of cereal, not start on it until a couple hours before it's due, and win an award for it.  She wrote a paper in Undergrad on an obscure book; didn't read the book just the Cliff notes and her professor, who was known to be tough, said she had never seen a better paper written on that book.

 

Which very probably hadn’t anything to do with Abeka but a gifted mind in a nurturing environment…..

[Mama Mia]

7 hours ago, SoSoNosy said:

My daughter is fairly sure she used the Abeka phonics (she didn't home school for religious reasons) and honestly, her oldest could write a 10-page paper on a box of cereal, not start on it until a couple hours before it's due, and win an award for it.  She wrote a paper in Undergrad on an obscure book; didn't read the book just the Cliff notes and her professor, who was known to be tough, said she had never seen a better paper written on that book.

 

 I homeschooled some of my kids at various points for various reasons - I would pick and choose different curriculums and some of the best for math and writing were the Christian ones. Very concrete and nicely structured. The kids did really well with them. That’s back when they were primarily workbooks instead of online.  I don’t think I’d use any of them for history or science, but for learning to spell, or apply math, or write an essay - generally excellent. 

[postscript]

Easter video. Alyssa and John hide an bazillion plastic eggs out on the patio, near the pool. I use the term “hide” loosely because many of them are in plain sight, fine for the little kids but not challenging for Allie and Lexi. Don’t they have a fence for the pool? Someday Rhett is going to toddle off the side and into the water. 

The kids and one of their Webster cousins find the eggs. Alyssa helps Rhett, who doesn’t get what it’s all about. He’s at an age where he enjoys picking things up and throwing them on the ground. The girls contribute some of their eggs to Rhett’s basket, which is nice of them. They go inside and open the eggs, which are full of candy and small treats. Again, Alyssa suggests they share with Rhett. I hope they aren’t going to eat all that candy immediately. 

On Easter morning, the kids get baskets, filled with more candy, including boxes of Peeps for each of the girls, and small treats. Rhett gets small foam balls (football, soccers, basketball and baseball), which he throws on the floor, and a book. 

They return from church, change, and go to one of John’s relatives. Alyssa disapproves of John’s outfit and insists he change. At the relative’s, the gang of kids engage in yet another Easter egg hunt involving another bazillion plastic eggs. They must have spent the last week on a sugar high. Rhett wanders, ignoring the eggs which Alyssa points out to him. We end watching the kids dye eggs. 

This video actually evokes pleasant memories of my childhood. We fit in egg dying, egg hunts, baskets and small gifts between church services and dinner with relatives. 

[dawn9476]

I wonder if they are going on a trip for their 10th anniversary next month, and that was the reason John got hiking boots. Could they be going to Utah? Alyssa has mentioned wanting to go there a lot over the years. I don't think she has ever been.  I wonder if they are going for their anniversary next month.

ETA: And it is crazy to already have 10 years of marriage and not even be 30 yet. Alyssa turns 30 in November. It's like the possibility of Tori having 6 kids by the time she turns 30 in December 2025. I couldn't imagine.

Edited April 6 by dawn9476

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, postscript said:

Easter video. Alyssa and John hide an bazillion plastic eggs out on the patio, near the pool. I use the term “hide” loosely because many of them are in plain sight, fine for the little kids but not challenging for Allie and Lexi. Don’t they have a fence for the pool? Someday Rhett is going to toddle off the side and into the water. 

The kids and one of their Webster cousins find the eggs. Alyssa helps Rhett, who doesn’t get what it’s all about. He’s at an age where he enjoys picking things up and throwing them on the ground. The girls contribute some of their eggs to Rhett’s basket, which is nice of them. They go inside and open the eggs, which are full of candy and small treats. Again, Alyssa suggests they share with Rhett. I hope they aren’t going to eat all that candy immediately. 

On Easter morning, the kids get baskets, filled with more candy, including boxes of Peeps for each of the girls, and small treats. Rhett gets small foam balls (football, soccers, basketball and baseball), which he throws on the floor, and a book. 

They return from church, change, and go to one of John’s relatives. Alyssa disapproves of John’s outfit and insists he change. At the relative’s, the gang of kids engage in yet another Easter egg hunt involving another bazillion plastic eggs. They must have spent the last week on a sugar high. Rhett wanders, ignoring the eggs which Alyssa points out to him. We end watching the kids dye eggs. 

This video actually evokes pleasant memories of my childhood. We fit in egg dying, egg hunts, baskets and small gifts between church services and dinner with relatives. 

Yes, her celebration seems very mainstream. I’m guessing the Bates family never had egg hunts when Alyssa was growing up. 

[Kiki03910]

4 hours ago, postscript said:

Easter video. Alyssa and John hide an bazillion plastic eggs out on the patio, near the pool. I use the term “hide” loosely because many of them are in plain sight, fine for the little kids but not challenging for Allie and Lexi. Don’t they have a fence for the pool? Someday Rhett is going to toddle off the side and into the water. 

The kids and one of their Webster cousins find the eggs. Alyssa helps Rhett, who doesn’t get what it’s all about. He’s at an age where he enjoys picking things up and throwing them on the ground. The girls contribute some of their eggs to Rhett’s basket, which is nice of them. They go inside and open the eggs, which are full of candy and small treats. Again, Alyssa suggests they share with Rhett. I hope they aren’t going to eat all that candy immediately. 

On Easter morning, the kids get baskets, filled with more candy, including boxes of Peeps for each of the girls, and small treats. Rhett gets small foam balls (football, soccers, basketball and baseball), which he throws on the floor, and a book. 

They return from church, change, and go to one of John’s relatives. Alyssa disapproves of John’s outfit and insists he change. At the relative’s, the gang of kids engage in yet another Easter egg hunt involving another bazillion plastic eggs. They must have spent the last week on a sugar high. Rhett wanders, ignoring the eggs which Alyssa points out to him. We end watching the kids dye eggs. 

This video actually evokes pleasant memories of my childhood. We fit in egg dying, egg hunts, baskets and small gifts between church services and dinner with relatives. 

This all sounds pretty innoucuous and even cute. Except I'm seeing it all happening through a haze of microplastic. WHY DO I READ SCIENCE NEWS.

[Expectopatronus]

My sister and I reuse the plastic eggs every year. We told our kids that we would leave out for the Easter Bunny to reuse and they would probably get bonus candy for being environmentally conscious. They bought it. We’ve used the same plastic eggs for three years and my daughter is only four. Reduced environmental impact. 
I can’t imagine hiding eggs outside though; between the snow and the neighbour’s dog, it just wouldn’t work. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

My sister hides eggs outside for my boys and she always finds a plastic egg or two months after the egg hunt that they missed. That always happened at my grandparents’ house too. They had a giant cardboard box of plastic eggs that were used every year. And grandpa would accidentally mow over one that was missed. 

[fluffernutter]

My mil did annual egg hunts for all of the grandkids long after the grandkids were too old, and it was a pain in the ass because there was huge pressure to be there on easter, which of course meant also eating dinner there. Never mind that we all had the other side of our families that we might want to see or even just stay home. So to make it more enticing, she started putting money in the eggs. Like a lot of money. $1's, 5's, 10's or 20's. It grew into what she called "2nd Christmas." The kids who were more aggressive and older would get more eggs and the smaller, less rambunctious ones would get less. Which would result in tears and hurt feelings, with my fil slipping money on the sly to the kids who didn't make out as well. The whole thing was so manipulative and over the top. Anyway, one year it fell on April Fool's. So I thought it would be funny to have some non money eggs in the hunt. I took over 25 eggs filled with random stuff. Rocks, a rubber band, grains of rice, a paper clip, stuff like that. I knew exactly how many I took so I wouldn't leave any out there, as she was also very picky about the yard. The kids all thought it was hilarious, and no one was upset except for her. She lost her shit on me. And when that woman lost it, she lost it loud and mean. It took fifteen minutes of my husband trying to explain that I wasn't trying to usurp her dumb egg hunt for her to calm down, but she never apologized. We never went back there again for easter, at least my husband and I didn't. The girls were old enough by that point they could drive over if they chose to- and why wouldn't they, with tens and twenties enticing them? My fil has not continued the tradition since she passed away, thank god. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

My mil did annual egg hunts for all of the grandkids long after the grandkids were too old, and it was a pain in the ass because there was huge pressure to be there on easter, which of course meant also eating dinner there. Never mind that we all had the other side of our families that we might want to see or even just stay home. So to make it more enticing, she started putting money in the eggs. Like a lot of money. $1's, 5's, 10's or 20's. It grew into what she called "2nd Christmas." The kids who were more aggressive and older would get more eggs and the smaller, less rambunctious ones would get less. Which would result in tears and hurt feelings, with my fil slipping money on the sly to the kids who didn't make out as well. The whole thing was so manipulative and over the top. Anyway, one year it fell on April Fool's. So I thought it would be funny to have some non money eggs in the hunt. I took over 25 eggs filled with random stuff. Rocks, a rubber band, grains of rice, a paper clip, stuff like that. I knew exactly how many I took so I wouldn't leave any out there, as she was also very picky about the yard. The kids all thought it was hilarious, and no one was upset except for her. She lost her shit on me. And when that woman lost it, she lost it loud and mean. It took fifteen minutes of my husband trying to explain that I wasn't trying to usurp her dumb egg hunt for her to calm down, but she never apologized. We never went back there again for easter, at least my husband and I didn't. The girls were old enough by that point they could drive over if they chose to- and why wouldn't they, with tens and twenties enticing them? My fil has not continued the tradition since she passed away, thank god. 

My kids get excited when there a quarter in the plastic eggs 😂 they would lose their minds over a 20.

[SassyPants]

18 hours ago, dawn9476 said:

I wonder if they are going on a trip for their 10th anniversary next month, and that was the reason John got hiking boots. Could they be going to Utah? Alyssa has mentioned wanting to go there a lot over the years. I don't think she has ever been.  I wonder if they are going for their anniversary next month.

ETA: And it is crazy to already have 10 years of marriage and not even be 30 yet. Alyssa turns 30 in November. It's like the possibility of Tori having 6 kids by the time she turns 30 in December 2025. I couldn't imagine.

My nephew was born on the exact same day as Tori. He has an advanced degree and has been working as a paramedic and firefighter for at least 2 years. He recently got engaged to a nurse. They are getting married in the Fall. And where we live (CA) he is on the younger side for getting married. 28 and having your 5th kid is insane!

[BullyJBG]

1 hour ago, fluffernutter said:

My mil did annual egg hunts for all of the grandkids long after the grandkids were too old, and it was a pain in the ass because there was huge pressure to be there on easter, which of course meant also eating dinner there. Never mind that we all had the other side of our families that we might want to see or even just stay home. So to make it more enticing, she started putting money in the eggs. Like a lot of money. $1's, 5's, 10's or 20's. It grew into what she called "2nd Christmas." The kids who were more aggressive and older would get more eggs and the smaller, less rambunctious ones would get less. Which would result in tears and hurt feelings, with my fil slipping money on the sly to the kids who didn't make out as well. The whole thing was so manipulative and over the top. Anyway, one year it fell on April Fool's. So I thought it would be funny to have some non money eggs in the hunt. I took over 25 eggs filled with random stuff. Rocks, a rubber band, grains of rice, a paper clip, stuff like that. I knew exactly how many I took so I wouldn't leave any out there, as she was also very picky about the yard. The kids all thought it was hilarious, and no one was upset except for her. She lost her shit on me. And when that woman lost it, she lost it loud and mean. It took fifteen minutes of my husband trying to explain that I wasn't trying to usurp her dumb egg hunt for her to calm down, but she never apologized. We never went back there again for easter, at least my husband and I didn't. The girls were old enough by that point they could drive over if they chose to- and why wouldn't they, with tens and twenties enticing them? My fil has not continued the tradition since she passed away, thank god. 

That was 6 years ago. Next one is in 2029. Nice to know some interesting memories from that day, after so many years of wondering what would happen if Easter fell on April Fools Day. 

[Kiki03910]

5 hours ago, fluffernutter said:

My mil did annual egg hunts for all of the grandkids long after the grandkids were too old, and it was a pain in the ass because there was huge pressure to be there on easter, which of course meant also eating dinner there. Never mind that we all had the other side of our families that we might want to see or even just stay home. So to make it more enticing, she started putting money in the eggs. Like a lot of money. $1's, 5's, 10's or 20's. It grew into what she called "2nd Christmas." The kids who were more aggressive and older would get more eggs and the smaller, less rambunctious ones would get less. Which would result in tears and hurt feelings, with my fil slipping money on the sly to the kids who didn't make out as well. The whole thing was so manipulative and over the top. Anyway, one year it fell on April Fool's. So I thought it would be funny to have some non money eggs in the hunt. I took over 25 eggs filled with random stuff. Rocks, a rubber band, grains of rice, a paper clip, stuff like that. I knew exactly how many I took so I wouldn't leave any out there, as she was also very picky about the yard. The kids all thought it was hilarious, and no one was upset except for her. She lost her shit on me. And when that woman lost it, she lost it loud and mean. It took fifteen minutes of my husband trying to explain that I wasn't trying to usurp her dumb egg hunt for her to calm down, but she never apologized. We never went back there again for easter, at least my husband and I didn't. The girls were old enough by that point they could drive over if they chose to- and why wouldn't they, with tens and twenties enticing them? My fil has not continued the tradition since she passed away, thank god. 

For a moment I read your last sentence as "my mil has not continued the tradition since she passed away" and my head exploded.

[GreenBeans]

17 hours ago, Expectopatronus said:

My sister and I reuse the plastic eggs every year.

I sewed lots of refillable and reusable fabric eggs in different sizes. Great for using up fabric scraps, easy to streamline and make lots of, and can be washed if they get any grass/dirt stains on them. So easy to use again year after year as well!

I’m not shaming anyone for using plastic Easter eggs (especially if they are reused year after year).

But you’d  think fundies with their love of the olden times, homesteading, SAHMs, America first and everything Amish would embrace the idea of using less plastic and other cheap crap made in China in their everyday lives, and using something wholesome, reusable and/or handmade instead. But nope. Plastic eggs and toys, styrofoam cups and paper plates it is on a daily basis.

 

[GreenBeans]

14 hours ago, fluffernutter said:

So to make it more enticing, she started putting money in the eggs. Like a lot of money. $1's, 5's, 10's or 20's. It grew into what she called "2nd Christmas." The kids who were more aggressive and older would get more eggs and the smaller, less rambunctious ones would get less.

Ugh! At my parents’ house, it was mostly chocolate and a few small toy items. Since the cousins are not the same age (3, almost 5, almost 7), of course they did not have the same chances. The two older ones basically raced off and put everything they could find in their baskets, while the younger one picked up one chocolate egg and wanted to eat it first before searching for more eggs. 😂

But we prepped for that - the small toys had names on them, and the chocolate bunnies, chocolate eggs and dyed eggs were shared equally afterwards, so there weren’t any tears.

With many kids of different ages / temperaments egg hunting, there are still ways to make it more fair. For example, you could assign each kid a different egg color and then just make sure that all red eggs, all blue eggs, all green eggs etc have the same amount of money in them, and each kid needs to find only the eggs in their assigned color. That way, everyone gets the same fun, you can use more challenging hiding places for the teenagers and easier to find eggs for toddlers, and the more rambunctious kids won’t take all the eggs.

[JermajestyDuggar]

My kids are the youngest grandkids by far but they are lucky to have very sweet older cousins. They always helped them find eggs and gave them some of their candy to share. It’s funny because my niece hid eggs for my boys this year at her house. She’s a senior in high school and liked hiding eggs for them. I got lucky in the niece and nephews department. 

[HereticHick]

Some of us grew up with the ultimate recycled Easter eggs:

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Some of us grew up with the ultimate recycled Easter eggs:

I remember being at the store with my mom and she bought those. I was like, “why do they come in eggs.?” She had no idea. Now I figure it’s because Eggs rhymes with Leggs. 

[Mama Mia]

4 hours ago, GreenBeans said:

Ugh! At my parents’ house, it was mostly chocolate and a few small toy items. Since the cousins are not the same age (3, almost 5, almost 7), of course they did not have the same chances. The two older ones basically raced off and put everything they could find in their baskets, while the younger one picked up one chocolate egg and wanted to eat it first before searching for more eggs. 😂

But we prepped for that - the small toys had names on them, and the chocolate bunnies, chocolate eggs and dyed eggs were shared equally afterwards, so there weren’t any tears.

With many kids of different ages / temperaments egg hunting, there are still ways to make it more fair. For example, you could assign each kid a different egg color and then just make sure that all red eggs, all blue eggs, all green eggs etc have the same amount of money in them, and each kid needs to find only the eggs in their assigned color. That way, everyone gets the same fun, you can use more challenging hiding places for the teenagers and easier to find eggs for toddlers, and the more rambunctious kids won’t take all the eggs.

We started doing the different colored eggs thing about 5 years ago and I love it! We generally have 6-10 kids participating, usually at a park. The hard part is finding enough eggs colors when it’s a bigger group. It’s lots of fun because no hurt feelings and good hunters will help bad hunters and all of them will help find the last few hard to find eggs. We have some VERY competitive kids, and some VERY non-observant kids in the mix - so this has made it a lot more enjoyable. Plus if I’m feeling extra ambitious I can kind of personalize the eggs - more jelly beans for one, more chocolates for another etc

[fluffernutter]

The egg hunts were cute when the kids were little and it was just candy. But when it became all about using her wealth as a way to manipulate the kids, I had major beef with it. We had athletic teens competing with little ones. It was ridiculous. And getting a teenager to part with money eggs to boost his little brother's egg count wasn't gonna happen. If it were just candy, I'm sure the kids would've been more inclined to share. And then one of the other mother in laws felt all insecure because all she did was paint eggs with them and give them a chocolate bunny. IMO, those kids will remember the egg painting grandma more fondly because it was quality time. 

[Keys]

7 hours ago, GreenBeans said:

I sewed lots of refillable and reusable fabric eggs in different sizes. Great for using up fabric scraps, easy to streamline and make lots of, and can be washed if they get any grass/dirt stains on them. So easy to use again year after year as well!

I’m not shaming anyone for using plastic Easter eggs (especially if they are reused year after year).

But you’d  think fundies with their love of the olden times, homesteading, SAHMs, America first and everything Amish would embrace the idea of using less plastic and other cheap crap made in China in their everyday lives, and using something wholesome, reusable and/or handmade instead. But nope. Plastic eggs and toys, styrofoam cups and paper plates it is on a daily basis.

 

Love the idea of fabric ones! If I ever have more time outside of parenting and work, I’d love to make some too  do you put zippers on them? 
 

Part of why I unfollowed all the Bateses and Duggars was because the shear amount of waste bothered me so much. Endless consumerism of cheap mass-produced stuff (including their boutique clothes). Constant eating out. Not a single reusable plate or utensil (I don’t understand that one!). So. Much. Waste. 

[GreenBeans]

9 hours ago, Keys said:

Love the idea of fabric ones! If I ever have more time outside of parenting and work, I’d love to make some too  do you put zippers on them? 

No, I made them like this: 

 https://www.etsy.com/de/listing/1664972743/befullbare-stoff-ostereier?

(not my Etsy account or that of anyone I know, just the first thing that came up on Google)

You can make them in different sizes and use up all your scraps to make them super colorful. You can find free tutorials if you Google “reusable fabric Easter eggs tutorial”.