Lina's barf worthy 1 month anniversary post

[Confused_by_religion]

Re: The whole candle thing.

So as mentioned before, I went out at bought a scented candle yesterday. Actually thought I'd make it all homey and nice here. my ever-paranoid boyfriend was quick to point out candle can harm fire and generally are a safety hazard. He'd rather not have them burning, because, y'know, what if you forget about them and leave the house?

(It's a candle in a freaking glass!)

So, as a good helpmeet ;) , shall I submit? I like my candle :evil: :violin:

Well, as a good helpmeet and godly wife I suppose that you will always stay at home anyway, so the candle is safe with you. Use your softest, most gentle and submissive tone to tell this to your headship, though, otherwise his self-esteem might suffer. :whistle:

[let-them-eat-cake]

I don't like cats but I would NEVER harm a cat. That's psycho.

In the past, it was cats. In the future, it will be Lina.

[synchroswimr]

I don't like cats but I would NEVER harm a cat. That's psycho.

In the past, it was cats. In the future, it will be Lina.

I'm afraid of that as well

[emmyfair]

I'm afraid of that as well

I'm scared it will be one of their kids.... :(

[let-them-eat-cake]

I'm scared it will be one of their kids.... :(

Oh, for sure.

[annalena]

Honestly, I don't really care about cats, or any animals. I just don't have a connection.

But I'd never harm them! I want them to live happily. Just not with me.

[pomology]

translated for Tony:

איש צדיק ראגארדאט החיים מהחיה

שלו : אבל הטנדר רחמים של הרשע אכזרי. -- פתגמים 12:10:

And my spechul message to TT (you're an asshole):

אתה אידיוט

So, Angri-la, I'm going to assume you put that into a translator (instead of finding the original text), because I know that that's not what the book of Proverbs is called in Hebrew. I am definitely not criticizing, I'm just pointing this out to note that that is PERFECT for this pair of Faux Jews who don't actually speak Hebrew!

Also, the "You're an asshole" literally says "You're an idiot" Win!

[emmiedahl]

How about some Yiddish curses for them?

May you grow like an onion. With your head in the ground.

May you be like a chandelier: hanging by day, burning by night.

If your words were a bridge, I'd be afraid to cross it.

[ilovetchotchkes]

How about some Yiddish curses for them?

May you grow like an onion. With your head in the ground.

May you be like a chandelier: hanging by day, burning by night.

If your words were a bridge, I'd be afraid to cross it.

My personal favorite yiddish curses:

May all your teeth fall out but one, and may that one get a toothache!

And

Go shit in the ocean.

[Sweetpea1]

How about some Yiddish curses for them?

May you grow like an onion. With your head in the ground.

May you be like a chandelier: hanging by day, burning by night.

If your words were a bridge, I'd be afraid to cross it.

:clap: :clap: :clap:

[Smooth Beans]

Go shit in the ocean.

This is going to be my new go-to curse.

[ilovetchotchkes]

This is going to be my new go-to curse.

In yiddish you'd say "gey kakuf auf en yam".

Its quite satisfying to scream when someone cuts you off in traffic.

[emmiedahl]

I don't know if this is Jewish or just Eastern European, but my Ashkenazi step-family refers to a waste-of-time activity as "fucking a hole in a tree." As in, "I thought about going to a Tea Party rally just to behold the crazy, but I don't have time for fucking a hole in a tree."

[BoomerLynn]

Go shit in the ocean.

Love it! :lol:

[annalena]

Love it! :lol:

Don't get it. :oops:

[ilovetchotchkes]

Don't get it. :oops:

Its like "go f&*k yourself"

Like you're so full of shit you'd fill the whole sea.

[let-them-eat-cake]

Lina has a new post called "A Joyous Chag". Knowing not that much about Judaism, at first I thought a Chag was a fruit and she was posting some babble on that. Half the post has been going, "what the hell is she even talking about????".

[LilMissMetaphor]

I read it as joyous shag.

[emmiedahl]

It's another, "Look how much Hebrew I speak!!!111!!!" post.

"OMYah, I am so Jewish I amaze myself!!!"

[Angri-la]

So, Angri-la, I'm going to assume you put that into a translator (instead of finding the original text), because I know that that's not what the book of Proverbs is called in Hebrew. I am definitely not criticizing, I'm just pointing this out to note that that is PERFECT for this pair of Faux Jews who don't actually speak Hebrew!

Also, the "You're an asshole" literally says "You're an idiot" Win!

I did use the generator; I certainly do not speak Hebrew.

But, then, neither do Lina and TT.....

Thanks for the translation; I guess "asshole" wasn't a term back in the day. I suppose I could have translated "goat's rectum". Yahsome!

[sugaree]

Cat-hurling aside, I don't understand why she wouldn't just go to a shelter to begin with?

That would involve leaving the house.

[HeLa1]

Lina has a new post called "A Joyous Chag". Knowing not that much about Judaism, at first I thought a Chag was a fruit and she was posting some babble on that. Half the post has been going, "what the hell is she even talking about????".

Five sentences. Ten Jewish references. Is this a record?

(I'm new, so if I've posted this wrong, please forgive. I just had to comment, because her blog entry seems so bizarre.)

[defrauding]

Can't Lina write a single thing about Judaism without fucking it up?

We are entering into the last three days of Sukkot, which include Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah. Today I am happily preparing a menu and a checklist for the two Yom Tovs (high sabbaths) and the weekly Shabbat.

Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah aren't part of Sukkot, and "high Sabbath" is a Christian term.

[Soldier of the One]

Is 'High Sabbath' a Christian translation of 'Shabbat shabbaton'?

[defrauding]

Is 'High Sabbath' a Christian translation of 'Shabbat shabbaton'?

To be honest, I don't know. Google suggests that or "Shabbat HaGadol" (the Great Sabbath). Either way, though, the term wouldn't apply to Shemini Atzeret or Simchat Torah.

Also, since Lina and Love spent Simchat Torah alone in their apartment -- which surprises me, given that their faux-Jewish congregation surely did something to celebrate -- I wonder if they danced around their apartment with a toy Torah while taking shots of tequila.

Maybe they even paraded it outside the apartment for a bit!