Bro Gary Hawkins 19: God Even Uses the Perforated People

[thoughtful]

8 hours ago, So-Virgin-It-Hurts said:

Dear Thoughtful, Your Gary posts have become one of the greatest joys in my life!

Thank you! 

Spoiler

I leapt (leaped? looped?) ahead, since Gary has done one of his now-rare non-church videos, on 2/3. I'll quantum leap back to December later.

He's in a very echo-ey space, and starts quietly, sounding tired and hoarse, and  tooth sucking a lot. He taps annoyingly on his metal travel mug. He starts with his usual blahblahblah about waiting for people to "sahn ohn," and complains about "this Pivo thing that the Lord give us."

Here, you can see the room, and read Gary's modest introduction:

Spoiler

Anybody?

He says they're in New Mexico, and Arizona is right down the road - he could be there in less than 30 minutes. Later, he specifies that they're in Gallitin, New Mexico in the mission quarters of a Navajo church. I couldn't find any such place in NM - Becky's weather complaint said they were in Gallup, so maybe that's what he means.

With no context, he says "They're up in their 70s, an' lookin' fer . . . some help."

I think he means the pastor of that church and his wife, but that's a guess. Later he says they were out to eat with "those folks," and that "they're havin' some health issues, an' they've had the covit."

He whines about people who can't commit. "They're havin' youth meetings all acrost our land, havin' youth camp meetings all over, butchyer not hearin' no surrenderin'."

Here you go, Gary.

While burbling on about how money has taken over the world, government checks, etc., Gary gets worried that the Pivo is not connecting to Facebook, mumbles something about going to check, and:

Spoiler

Whoa! It's the attack of the plaid clad lad!

We hear, Jacob say something that is lost in the echo, but he must have reassured Gary that it's working, because Gary flops back down into the chair.

Spoiler

He notices that his hair is messed up, fusses with it, and says he just took his hat off.

His usual crap about nobody going to church follows, last days, Walmarts, the old paths, etc.

As it was in the days of Noah, "they were eating. Man, every restaurant around here - we went out this morning t'eat - place is full-up, amen. An' then you rahd aroun' doin' some errands this mornin' an' you see every restaurant's full. As it was in the daysa Noah they was eatin'."

Spoiler

Remember when one of Gary's biggest pandemic-related complaints was that he couldn't eat in restaurants? Yeah, me too. But now, all of those full restaurants, when attendance at church is still not up to his desires, are signs of the end times.

He goes on referring to the verses about the days of Noah - "Marryin' - yeah, well - no doubt there's people gitting married but now the day we got shackin' up. Mah daddy usedta preach a message ohn shackin' up Christians."

Spoiler

It doesn't bother anybody any more, he says, because nobody preaches on sin any more.

He goes on to scorn churches that use a screen instead of songbooks, "makin' ever'body lazy," or just "let you set whahl they sing. Ah've never - ah've never heard of nothin' lahk that."

Spoiler

Screens and not being forced to  stand up and sing?! Horrors!

"Whenever we got up we sung listen ah'm gonna tellya raht now you cain't sing an' siddown. Trah it." He gives a loud juicy sniff.

I have no idea what that even means - does he now think it's impossible to sing while sitting down?

Ladies used to come to church looking like ladies and men looking like men. "Not no more."

"Somebody just put on Facebook this morning about the - women's hahr is their glory. Most women don't got much glory anymore. Lemme tellya one of the men has t'shave their head just about off cause the wives has got their hahr cut over above their ears HAYMEN!"

The "haymen" really reverberates loudly in that room. Ow.

"You say 'What kind of a video is?' Ol' paths. Ol' ways.

Captions:

Spoiler

Oh, thanks for telling us, Gary. That doesn't explain why you felt compelled to do it, but then, that's always a mystery, other than your need to feed your ego and hear your own voice.

He does some of his defensive routine about there being no praise teams or crusades in the Bible, and he doesn't care if you block or "defriend" him.

"Ah'm hoeing mah row."

Spoiler

He mocks the sinners' prayer for a while, claims he prayed for about three months before he was sure the Lord was calling him to full-time evangelism, and urges us to go out and do something for God. He says that Gallup (he seems to know where he is now) only has two churches. He says "there's not a whole lot" in Albuquerque, either (I know, he wouldn't consider most of the ones at my links to be churches).

Everybody should go out an work for a church or start a church. "Ah unnerstan' about financials," but that's no excuse.

"Ah just added up mah money that ah made from 2021. Ah'm gittin' ready to do mah taxes or mah wahf's gittin' ready to do mah taxes - God's been good to me." Loud tooth suck. "Got a praise report - mah last check - mah last payment for mah vehicle - is in the mail. So the Lord's a-willin'! "

I assume he means the truck. Gary says, when that is paid off, he'll be debt-free.

Then, he says, he will support more missionaries. He claims they helped "a family here on one of the reservations that was tryin' to git into their home," whatever that  means.

"Just was taken out to eat, got food in the 'fridgerator, had food give to us last naht, they fed us last naht at the church ah was at - God's been good to us."

"Give an' it shall be given. You know wha that most people are not gitting anything is because they ask it amiss."

He continues to drag on - nothing you haven't all heard many times before. At one point, he sings a few lines of "Where Could I Go" (he gets the words wrong).

Did you know this was the end times? "The Lord's soon comin', an' we're 'bout, we're 'bout done."

Or maybe:

Spoiler

Edited February 7, 2022 by thoughtful
riffle

[thoughtful]

I went back to Gary's Youtube channel to find the next December video, and realized that there were two more from 12/12. So the one I posted earlier was Sunday school. One can never tell with Gary, since he doesn't seem to see any difference.

On to the main Sunday service, at Gary's dog-house-and-church-sitting gig for the Pridgens. Not to be confused with the Pigeons.

BTW, I found out why the Pridgens didn't come back when they were expected, at the end of December:

Spoiler

Gary left after 12/28, others stepped in, and the Pridgens were back on 1/12.

Jacob comes up to lead the singing, and they stand (of course!) and murder Hark The Herald Angels Sing and Joy to the World, then Becky and Jacob sing He is Really All that Matters.

Gary limps through some announcements, teases a woman, announces Matthew chapter 2, then remembers prayers.

"Ah preached in uh Delaware at a college earlier this year an' um there was some young people there an' that's what - in college or whatever, but they had a bad accident was it Thursdee?"
Becky: "Thursday."
Gary: Had a bad accident Thursdee, head-on collision an' it keeled one of 'em."

It was two young students in the accident. He goes on to describe the other man's injuries, and asks for prayers. From what he says, I figure out that the college, which I don't think he ever named when he visited it, is Atlantic Coast Baptist College. I also saw an update, and the man who survived the accident is doing well.

Gary rambles wildly about driving and accidents and going shopping and getting something he wanted to drink out of the car and "Matthew chapter one."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+1%3A18-25&version=KJV

Did you know that Joseph was "exspoused" to Mary?

The captions have some trouble with Gary's accent when he reads that Joseph did "as the angel of the Lord had bid him:"

Spoiler

Gary makes sure they know that he doesn't think Jesus was born in December, but His birthday is worth celebrating. "So, with the help of the Lord, ah wanna preach ohn What's the Reason for the Season. What's the Reason for the Season."

He word-vomits lots of familiar stuff, then:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+13%3A54-58&version=KJV

KJV: Is not this the carpenter's son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas?
Bro Gary Version: Is not this the carpenter's son? is not - is not - is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joseph - Josie - and Simon, and Judith?

Josie? Judith?

I was half expecting him to list Alvin and Theodore after Simon.

KJV: And he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief.
BGV: And he did not min - an' he did not many works -  mighty works there because of unbelief.

As he yells about people rejecting Jesus and needing to be saved, he mentions the accident in Delaware again, and goes on with the usual we-could-die-any-time shit.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+2%3A1-7&version=KJV

There went out a "degree from Caesa Auguster," according to Gary.

KJV: And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.
BGV: And this taxing was first made - uh - when Cy - Suh - Syrium was governor of Syruh.

Joseph and Mary are still "exspoused."

Gary does his stinky stable bit. He asks if any of them would want to have a child in a barn. Or maybe:

Spoiler

Gary starts rambling about visiting someone in the congregation who has farm animals, and how he couldn't "git past the smell." But Jesus humbled Himself, getting born there, and so should Baptists.

Uh, humble themselves - not get born in barns.

More later.

[Dana723]

On 2/6/2022 at 5:56 PM, thoughtful said:

As it was in the days of Noah, "they were eating. Man, every restaurant around here - we went out this morning t'eat - place is full-up, amen. An' then you rahd aroun' doin' some errands this mornin' an' you see every restaurant's full. As it was in the daysa Noah they was eatin'."

Well, there you go.  We're in the end times, fer shure.

[So-Virgin-It-Hurts]

I have been snickering all day about Lazarus stinking in the grave and dissing farmers because of the barnyard smell. All the farmers I grew-up with were incredibly hard workers and wouldn't have given Gary the time of day. Can I get a hay-men?

 

Also, Judas S. Carrot made me laugh out loud in public places.

Edited February 8, 2022 by So-Virgin-It-Hurts

[Xan]

On 2/6/2022 at 5:56 PM, thoughtful said:

Spoiler

It doesn't bother anybody any more, he says, because nobody preaches on sin any more.

I'm loving these screencaps, @thoughtful!  This is how I imagine Gary looking most of the time -- bloated, surly, and judgmental.

On 2/6/2022 at 5:56 PM, thoughtful said:

Lemme tellya one of the men has t'shave their head just about off cause the wives has got their hahr cut over above their ears HAYMEN!"

Does Gary think that the man has to have his hair shorter than his wife's?  Is it some sort of fundie contest?  So, Gary isn't just scandalized by bathing suits.  He's also horrified by short haircuts on women and people singing without standing up holding hymnals.  I think as Gary gets older, he keeps making up more rules.

As much as he's talked trash about the Navajo church, I surprised they're having him back.

 

 

[FiveAcres]

16 minutes ago, Xan said:

I'm loving these screencaps, @thoughtful!  This is how I imagine Gary looking most of the time -- bloated, surly, and judgmental.

Does Gary think that the man has to have his hair shorter than his wife's?  Is it some sort of fundie contest?  So, Gary isn't just scandalized by bathing suits.  He's also horrified by short haircuts on women and people singing without standing up holding hymnals.  I think as Gary gets older, he keeps making up more rules.

As much as he's talked trash about the Navajo church, I surprised they're having him back.

 

 

Maybe it is just the photo, but G looks like he has regained all the weight he lost and then some. 

[thoughtful]

9 hours ago, Xan said:

This is how I imagine Gary looking most of the time -- bloated, surly, and judgmental.

It is one reason I like the non-church videos - better close-ups of Gary's various mean-boy faces.

9 hours ago, Xan said:

Does Gary think that the man has to have his hair shorter than his wife's?

Apparently. That one just cracked me up - hair length on a male-to-female sliding scale of some sort?

9 hours ago, FiveAcres said:

Maybe it is just the photo, but G looks like he has regained all the weight he lost and then some. 

I looked at some pre-diet photos recently enough that I actually think he still hasn't gotten all the way back up to his heaviest weight. But he's working on it!

Back to the main Sunday service from 12/12, and his The Reason for the Season message at Gospel Light in Conway SC. He reads:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=isaiah+9%3A6&version=KJV

The captions accurately capture Gary's mistaken belief that the "governor shall be upon his shoulders," but have some trouble with "wonderful, counselor:"

Spoiler

Another reason for the season - "Jesus is in control. Jesus is in control. Mos' people are listenin' to th'news today, an' they jus' say 'Well, ah don' unnerstan'" (he stops to swig water) "that God's in control with what's goin' ohn. Well so listen hey God didn't come t'take keer of th'governors God came t'save sinners. An' he does say that look does say that gove - the governors will. Be. On. Their. Shoulders."

Now, that's even more messed up than his usual reading.

He yells about wanting Biden to get saved so he wouldn't destroy America. More nonsense about government checks, debt, and Jesus being in control falls out of his face.

"Ah'm gonna listen t'God, ya say 'Wha?' Because God knows best."

Or:

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

"Mah - mah - ah'm not gonna say who it was but mah son was tellin' me somebody yesterday that they was sendin' him somewhere an' ah'm gonna tellya raht now it 'bout made me mad but ah got t'realahzin'  hey ah cain't be in control of other people's chil'ren yep ah need t'pray for 'em, AMEN! I just need to be in control of mah chil'ren. Ya say 'Wha?' Because God give me the responsibility of mah chil'ren."

"But Gah - ah hope ah'm makin' sense this mornin' in the part God's in control, He said" Gary looks down at his Bible. "He was gonna be the uh He was born t'give give  us  uh give us - a son - is given - given - an' the governor shall be upon his shoulders an His name shall be called wonnerful - man, he is wonnerful, ain't he?"

Or maybe:

Spoiler

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+6%3A23&version=KJV

The reason for the season is Jesus' gift.

Gary actually says that the van, and partial payment for the truck and it's repairs, were gifts from people. I may faint.

But of course, he only says that to point out that the gift of eternal life is better.

"Once in a whahl ah watch a little video ohn Facebook. an', it's lahk a soap opera thing ah guess somewhat but there was a gah that came back from the Army an' he made up boxes an' he made it warmed up t'where he could be in that box an' an' this girl's just walkin' parta th'way an' not goin' all th'way around it because you could see it played out pretty good an' the part when she opened - when she relahzed that she could open that gift an' what she seen with it, it made it happy ah got happy when ah got saved, amen? An' ah'm still happy 22 years ago that ah unwrapped a gift that Jesus Chrast would be willin' t'live in mah soul an' live with me an' visit with me an' talk with me - that's a great gift. Amen?"

I think the above  (before the Jesus part) was Gary's description of a video in which a man surprised his wife or girlfriend by being in a gift box himself, when she wasn't expecting him home from the service yet.

Gary,

Spoiler

Gifts from people wear out. They just had to buy Jacob new pants because "he wore 'em out, amen or he got too fat, or whatever it is he done."

He attempts Ephesians 2:1.

KJV: And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins;
BGV: And you hath he quickened, who were dead in sinssss - dead in trespasses and sins;

"Do you know even though some people that maybe have rough lives an' mah wahf sells Tupperware an' that she listen they had a meeting yesterday an' ah listened as ah was readin' mah Bahble once in a whahl ah'd stop and just ponder an' listen t'what they had t'say an' they was just talkin' about different things of y'know trahin' t'get people how t'sell Tupperware an' all the different kindsa things, an' ah got t'thinkin' is listenin' t'that listen ah wanna tellya life is rough sometahm now we need t'realahze listen hey if we're in God an' we're saved, we ought t'be happy."

Another profound parable from Gary.

"We ought t'be happy, wha? Ah got life."

Or:

Spoiler

More familiar junk follows, then:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+timothy+2%3A1-5&version=KJV

KJV: No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life
BGV: No man that weareth entangles himself with the affairs the affairs of this life

"Another reason for the season is, is we're soldiers."

Gary does his routine about how he hated people before he got saved, but now he loves them, with another go-round at wanting Biden saved even though he's destroying the country. He throws in Nancy Pelosi and Donald Trump this time.  Of course, Gary thinks Trump "done" good.

"Ah sorta - whenever we was knockin' on doors yesterday an' it was - uh, quite a few Black people there in the area an' ah got t'thinkin' you know - aha - one lady said somethin' to me an' ah said 'Well, you kin tell me where all these places are, unless you give me the address, ah'm not from here,' Brother Joe's over in Africa butchu know what? Ah don't haveta go to Africa t'get African people." 

He goes into his bit about the pastor in Chicago and all of the "differen' nationalities" in his church. Gary says this man can tell exactly where someone from India is from by the way they speak, and that makes people feel like he cares about them.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+peter+2%3A21&version=KJV

Jesus is our example. Gary never suffered like Jesus did, and he takes this opportunity to go on and on about how his parents beat him.

Then comes very important distinction (per Gary) that Jesus shed his blood, He didn't drop it, and his belief that the blood is "settin' at the right hand of the throne with the father."

He announces Matthew chapter 21, then corrects himself:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+1%3A21&version=KJV

"This is what the season's all about."

He yells that he always has to finish with "make sure you're saved," for Facebook and "the church audience."

Audience? Oops.

Gary rants and mumbles through much of his Heaven riff. He adds the possibility of "a big ol' swimmin' pool of Dr. Pepper" this time.

He relishes some talk of death, then veers to talking about the Pastor and his wife. "Ah love the heart that the Pridgens has got."

The captions may have some insight:

Spoiler

He hopes the devil "don't get them out of it, ya say 'Wha?' Because he can. All he's gotta do is pull one trick."

Way to honor your hosts, Gary - casting suspicion on their devotion to the cause.

He mumbles quickly to his closing prayer.

[Xan]

I'm not sure which made me laugh the longest, @thoughtful -- dancing Jesus or "he is wonderful Andy".  You're right about the Gary material.  He's the gift that keeps on giving.  I am curious, though, about the pool of Dr. Pepper.  Do you suppose Gary will finally wear a bathing suit or just swim in the carbonated water fully clothed?

Edited February 9, 2022 by Xan

[EyesOpen]

Ahhh heaven… with a big ol’ pool of Dr Pepper. I’m dying over here. When I was still involved in evangelical churches, I was in a Bible study with this nice older lady. Pastor was reading about heaven whatever those passages are about streets of gold or set up your riches in heaven or whatever… this lady pipes up ‘I want to know more specifically about what gems and jewels I’ll have in heaven’… it just made me giggle what people focus on in what they hope their afterlife will be like…

And may I suggest Bro Gary - floating in a pool of Dr Pepper as a thread title in the future? 😂

[Alisamer]

One of my favorite things about Gary, that isn't blatantly awful, is his description of what he thinks heaven will be like for him. Pools of Dr. Pepper and fried catfish straight from the river of life, with endless Chinese food, with him over in the corner no doubt finding SOMETHING to pout about. 

I kind of agree with Gary in that I hope heaven is customized for every person, that each person gets what makes them happiest. 

I disagree on who is likely to be there, though. I think people preaching hate are on the wrong path, IMO. 

[thoughtful]

Have I mentioned that you can find just about anything on the Internet?

I imagine Gary is picturing something a bit larger. He'd be too "modest" for the shorts, and too arrogant for the adorable floaties.

[thoughtful]

5 hours ago, EyesOpen said:

streets of gold

Gary would correct you - he's adamant about people remembering that it's one street of gold. I guess his mental image of Heaven has no side streets, no turns - just one long, skinny Valhalla.

I'd take a Heaven without left turns or rotaries, myself.

[Dana723]

21 hours ago, thoughtful said:

"Ah sorta - whenever we was knockin' on doors yesterday an' it was - uh, quite a few Black people there in the area an' ah got t'thinkin' you know - aha - one lady said somethin' to me an' ah said 'Well, you kin tell me where all these places are, unless you give me the address, ah'm not from here,' Brother Joe's over in Africa butchu know what? Ah don't haveta go to Africa t'get African people." 

Spoiler

 

[thoughtful]

A post from Becky:

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Some replies:

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So, do you think Jessie Oliver is lying?

Oh, boy!

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[Xan]

If you go to the church's website, it lists the cost of the retreat.  It's $25 per couple, $10 for singles.  That's not a lot but this is a small and not very prosperous church.  I hope most of that money goes to cover the food and not straight into Gary's pocket.  Also, they appear to have volunteered Jacob to babysit the children of people who are attending.

Spoiler

 

[postscript]

Gary will be leading a Valentine-themed retreat? What will his advice be? Take her to Walmarts every so often? Allow her to have her sand therapy while complaining endlessly about the nekkid people? Make sure she caters endlessly to you? I can’t think of anyone less qualified to give couples advice. 

If I’m reading that thread right, someone named their daughter Rugbie? That’s a . . .choice. 

[EyesOpen]

Omg hold on to your hats folks this is going to be wild!

[So-Virgin-It-Hurts]

Started listening to Gary's live stream this morning and had to stop - not enough coffee. He was talking about the need to keep learning (ironically?) and said that no one is born "knowing how to mechanic." 

[griffin]

Becky is speaking to women about how they should be "reverencing" their husbands. I don't speak fundie, but I think she means "revering".

[thoughtful]

31 minutes ago, griffin said:

Becky is speaking to women about how they should be "reverencing" their husbands. I don't speak fundie, but I think she means "revering".

Nah, that's a fundie word. They verbify the noun.

Becky got some more answers to her post about trying to use one's most recent text as a message in church. This sounds like an interesting subject for a sermon:

[thoughtful]

Becky wished Gary a happy Valentine's Day eve, but, I am sad to say, Gary has posted nothing about the "Supper Bowel."

Spoiler

So, I shall return to December. On the evening of Sunday, 12/12, the video begins with Jacob announcing the singing of O Come All Ye Faithful, over the chiming of the Amazing Grace clock. Becky starts playing Joy to the World. Jacob sings "O, Come . . . " They both stop, and sort it out.

After O Come All Ye Faithful, they sing The First Noel. Becky is just playing the melody for these  - I'm actually sort of surprised, since she usually includes some chords when she plays, and I think of the Christmas hymns as pretty basic things to learn (both in their ease and the expectations that most church keyboard players will know them). But maybe they aren't considered that important, in their "it's all about the cross" tradition.

Gary asks Brother Peter to "pray fer us raht fast," and Peter does so. Becky announces, "So I just heard this song yesterday and I learned it today, so forgive my mistakes, 'cause you've probably never heard it neither." She laughs, then sings Christmas at Calvary.

Quote

I've always looked forward to Christmas
Just to be with the loved ones dear to me.
To hear those song of holidays, I believe that I must say
I love to spend Christmas at Calvary.

REFRAIN: The most beautiful gift was given
When god himself, and mercy decorated a tree.
The most beautiful light there is shining
I love to spend Christmas at Calvary.

As I look at the beautiful garland
Wrapped around the tree evergreen
I think of grace, so rich and true
And life abundantly, as I go back to that glorious scene.

REFRAIN

Gary tries to multi-task, carrying a microphone on a stand over to the pulpit, and there is a screech - beyond the usual feedback sound, incredibly high-pitched.

Gary goes right on, telling them "it would be very easily t'celebrate the birth of Jesus if ya really know the reason. The reason most people don't celebrate it right, 'cause they don' know, amen? And uh, so, but uh, well, praise the Lord good to be back in church amen?"

He makes announcements, including the fact that he and Becky found a roast for $10, for the upcoming Friday evening church Christmas event. He says they went back to try to get more, but the sales had changed since Wednesday. So, a roast purchased on 12/8 was going to be served on 12/17. Hope it had been in a freezer.

He tries to joke about how it's their contribution. "We've eat our share an' we wanna be very sharing, so you kin have some of it."

Captions:

Spoiler

He tells a story about a preacher who would ask people to bring "finger foods" for church events, and a man who called out "I believe I can eat steak with my fingers." He rambles, repeating vague requests for people to bring whatever "fixin's" go with ham and roast. Jacob calls out "Fried chicken goes with ham, don't it?"

While discussing potential beverages, Gary continues trying to be funny, saying that thinking coffee was wicked was something Lester Roloff got wrong, but "he done great works."

He tells them that the security people called Miss Betty in Africa, I assume because of the alarm Gary screwed up, which we find out happened that morning. He tells them about the service the Pridgens had in Africa, from morning until 3:00 in the afternoon. Someone says "Wow," and Gary said there was probably a break, and no evening service, and it was all part of the anniversary celebration (their ministry? Their son's? I don't remember, if I ever knew).

Gary announces Isaiah chapter 26, and the captions do some familiar things with his exhortation to stand:

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https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=isaiah+26%3A1-10&version=KJV

KJV: Salvation will God appoint for walls and bulwarks.
Bro Gary Version: Salvation will gods appoint from walls and blurks.
Captions:

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  ?

KJV: Open ye the gates, that the righteous nation which keepeth the truth may enter in. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee.
BGV: Open ye the gates, that the - that are righteousss. Nations which keepeth the truth may enter. That will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind stays on thee.

KJV: For he bringeth down them that dwell on high; the lofty city, he layeth it low;
BGV: For he bringeth down them that dwelleth on high; the loffly city, he layeth it low;
Captions:

Spoiler

KJV: for when thy judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness.
BGV: for when they - for when thy judgments are in the earth, the habitations of the worl' will learn righteousness.

KJV: in the land of uprightness will he deal unjustly, and will not behold the majesty of the Lord.
BGV: in the land of the upright. Ness. Will he deal unjustly, and will not behold the majestries of the Lord.

He re-reads verse three, saying "trustses" for "trusts," and launches into the connection to his theme.

"Now ya see the word mahnd is in there, an' it says 'whose mahhhn' stays ohn thee,' that's talkin' about stayin' ohn - the Lord Jesus Christ an' y'know the day an' hour we're livin' in you think about yer mahnd, now, the wicketest thing in our body, accordin' t'the Bahble, is our heart, because - an' it's in Jeremahah said it was  desperately wicket. But do you know how that we get a wicket heart? It's because of the things that we think ohn. Y'know, you, uh - y'think of - yer mahnd! Whatta ya putcher - what do ya put in yer mahnd? Now that's what keeps it - those that think upon the Lord, those that think about the Lord, those that have their mahnd stayin' ohn th'Lord, an' an' those that are trahin' t'stay focused ohn th'Lord, have perfect peacccce. An' with the he'p of the Lord Jesus Chrise' jus' for a little bit ah wanna preach ohn What's Ohn Yer Mahnd? What's Ohn Yer Mahnd ah mean listen hey . . "

And he's off an running with barely a breath taken, but I'll stop the direct quote there for now, since he reached his message title.

I think whoever coached him to make the trip from first reading to message title a short trip (Becky?) needs to work with him again.

He does a long, fragmented ramble about Brother Will's job hunt. I think his point is that Will said he was in good shape spiritually, despite everything else being bad, because he never stopped "every mornin', spindin' tahm with mah God."

Gary says he doesn't understand why people have to go through the things they go through. "Miss Rachel an' them, they, uh, they're - they lost the - the apartments lost a lady over there here this past week an' everything an' they're now, y'know, celebratin' all the differen' kindsa things, listen, when family members dah, listen, ah'm gonna tellya somethin', it's not easy!"

Sounds like one of Rachel's neighbors died, and I hope he means they are commemorating her life and memory, not celebrating. But the mind of Gary is a dark and mysterious place.

He goes on about the devil tempting people to take their minds off of the Lord.

"You know what, Brother Stephen's - pretty easy fer him t'do that in the part, butchu know what even though he has his ah guess you play that thing all day long a preachin' or whatever when yer workin' an' stuff ah unnerstan' ya haveta cut it off once in a whahl, butchu know what? It's a whole lot easier t'listen it's a whole lot better t'have yer mahnd stay ohn th'Lord whenever yer listenin' to preaching an' singing to the an' an' an' doin' uh even listening to readin' of the Bahble when we go t'the gym every mornin' mah wahf turns on th'Bahble an' she's listenin' t'that. It's a whole lot easier to ha - keep yer mahn ohn the Lord when you've got those things but whenever you hear somebody cussin'? Ah'm gon' say, when somebody cusses an' says God's name in vain ah'manna tellya raht now it's almost just lahk somebody just tears me apart. It just bothers me. But you know wha that is? It's because ah'm saved."

Who is Brother Stephen, what does he "play," and where is he at the time? Got me - Gary just spewed that out, without context or segue. I'm guessing he's someone there who has mentioned that he listens to preaching all day at work. 

Since the subject of "cuss" words has come up, Gary feels compelled to tell the story of the man and woman in Aldi's. In this iteration, the man is back to  chasing the woman all over the store, before "giving God a last name." Gary tries to be funny again, saying he was afraid he'd have to "sic mah wahf ohn him."

Gary asks if they remember when they used to listen to country or rock music, and if they notice how, in a store, "you'll pick 'at up a lot quicker 'an you will some a Christian song? You say 'Wha is that?' Because that's just the devil in the part of keepin' 'at,  but  . . " he zooms on.

I don't think many stores play the kind of music you consider Christian, Gary, so there's nothing to inspire them to think of those songs while shopping. In any case, I don't think the devil is forcing people to notice, have an earworm, or even hum along, when they happen to hear a song they know from years ago.

"Look at Joshua, chapter one, real quick-lahk."

Later, dude - this post is already very long.

[Dana723]

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

blurks

Spoiler

 

[SisterCupcake]

22 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Becky is speaking to women about how they should be "reverencing" their husbands. I don't speak fundie, but I think she means "revering".

This is also directly from a blog post that The Transformed Wife wrote some time ago (I hate that I know this) and reminds me of the "Don't Ever Remind the Husband to do the Thing" blog post that Teri Maxwell wrote which still makes me cringe...

[AmazonGrace]

 

Okay, logically, then.

If

1. Everyone on Facebook knows who Gary Hawkins is,

and

2. Very few of those people watch his livestreams

Spoiler

then, we must conclude that most people on FB know enough about Gary not to bother.

[So-Virgin-It-Hurts]

29 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

 

Okay, logically, then.

If

1. Everyone on Facebook knows who Gary Hawkins is,

and

2. Very few of those people watch his livestreams

  Hide contents

then, we must conclude that most people on FB know enough about Gary not to bother.

And likely half of those 6 views are FJs. For me, Gary is the gift that unknowingly keeps on giving.