Mike Lindell: Still Sleeping With a Trump Pic Under His MyPillow

[Howl]

Mikey is a sad little puddle.  He's a testament to the staying power of the Big Steal, though, that not even the implosion and smoking ruins of Cyberconference #1 and his obvious break with reality aren't enough for people to disregard him. 

Other people realize that he hasn't yet been sucked dry of all his money.  Once he's bankrupt, should that ever happen, his phone will stop ringing. 

 

 

[Cartmann99]

Mikey claims he's going to show a picture of the man who attacked him at the hotel in Sioux Falls. He's ranting away and hopping from topic to topic, so I hope I don't fall asleep before the big reveal.

Bitching about the media again.

Says he's got 37 terabytes of data from the election.

[Cartmann99]

Rufus bless, he keeps admitting he got his data from known fraudsters but claims it was "validated." Mike, honey, you know almost nothing about computers, which leaves you wide open to being ripped off by three kids in a trenchcoat with a laser pointer.

Everybody drink, he's bringing all his data to the Supreme Court!

Mikey thinks he's going to find the packet captures stuffed inside the routers.

Still no picture of Mikey's attacker. Thinking about those packet captures stuffed inside a router makes me hungry for ravioli.

He's been rattling on for 80 minutes now.

They suck at deleting Josh Merritt's profanity, so we keep hearing him say "shit."

FFS, stop rambling and show us the picture of your attacker!

Dominion, I hope you're listening as he's ranting about you again.

Edited August 17, 2021 by Cartmann99

[Cartmann99]

Mikey just announced that they will not show the picture of his attacker until tomorrow. Claims the police asked him not to show it now as it could interfere with their investigation.

Talking about how scared he and Kendra (his girlfriend) were during the attack. In earlier accounts, Kendra didn't know anything was wrong until they reached the hotel room.

 

Shame on Fox!!

[Cartmann99]

Lindell: "I spent five months validating the data!"

*holds up a modem, an extension cord, and a box of Triscuits* "Mr Lindell, I've got the routers you wanted! Give me piles of cash so I can pull out the cheese-filled packet captures!"

*Mikey throws cash at me*

 

 

[Howl]

28 minutes ago, Cartmann99 said:

Mikey just announced that they will not show the picture of his attacker until tomorrow

I'm convinced it will be some random person wearing a Groucho Marx disguise: 

Edited August 17, 2021 by Howl

[Cartmann99]

More ranting about cyber things.

*startles awake* He's bitching about the governors of Georgia and Arizona now.

 Mikey, the packet captures are not inside the routers, just like there's not a damn thing inside that noggin of yours!

More boo-hooing about the hosts on Faux.

Now back to attacking Faux. 😴

Ranting about various conspiracy theories, mentioning Dominion by name.

I have to go make dinner now, so no more snark from yours truly.

[Howl]

30 minutes ago, Cartmann99 said:

Talking about how scared he and Kendra (his girlfriend) were during the attack. 

Sweet Jeebus, can you imagine how boring Lindell would be?  Kendra would have to be as crazy pants as he is to put up with that drivel. 

[Dandruff]

To the tune of The Riddle Song:

I gave my love some data, without a trend

That folks are calling nonsense I can't defend

I gave my love a pillow with chunks of foam

But he just wants the White House to call his home

I held a cyber meeting to prove the steal

Explained that last year's voting was a Chinese deal

The judges say Dominion's allowed to sue

My love, look what I'm doing - it's all for you

 

 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

8 hours ago, Howl said:

Mikey is a sad little puddle.  He's a testament to the staying power of the Big Steal, though, that not even the implosion and smoking ruins of Cyberconference #1 and his obvious break with reality aren't enough for people to disregard him. 

Other people realize that he hasn't yet been sucked dry of all his money.  Once he's bankrupt, should that ever happen, his phone will stop ringing. 

I still see him on television selling his pillows, mattress pads, etc. I keep hoping they'll stop airing his commercials and informercials.

[fraurosena]

10 hours ago, Howl said:

Kendra would have to be as crazy pants as he is to put up with that drivel. 

Either that or she's putting up with it so she can get all the money she can squeeze out of him.

[Xan]

1 hour ago, fraurosena said:

Either that or she's putting up with it so she can get all the money she can squeeze out of him.

You all are assuming that Kendra is real.  Maybe she's inflatable.  (I'd add a picture here but, if I search for one on Google, you know what sort of ads I'd be getting for the next week.)

[smittykins]

47 minutes ago, Xan said:

You all are assuming that Kendra is real. 

“She lives in Canada and attends a different school.”

[Cartmann99]

13 hours ago, Howl said:

Sweet Jeebus, can you imagine how boring Lindell would be?  Kendra would have to be as crazy pants as he is to put up with that drivel. 

Kendra Reeves is the woman who did the opening prayers at Mikey's symposium, so your assessment is spot-on.

Spoiler

Getty images has pictures of them together.

Mikey announced last night that he's going to do two shows a day on LindellTV.com at 11am and 6pm CDT for the foreseeable future.

 

[AlmostSavedAtTacoBell]

14 hours ago, Cartmann99 said:

Lindell: "I spent five months validating the data!"

*holds up a modem, an extension cord, and a box of Triscuits* "Mr Lindell, I've got the routers you wanted! Give me piles of cash so I can pull out the cheese-filled packet captures!"

*Mikey throws cash at me*

 

 

Nailed it!

I have a fake diamond ring I got many years ago out of a Cracker Jack box.  I will give it to you to add to your setup to get more cash by convincing Mikey it's the super special decoder ring that allows the Jewish laser beams to be safely captured and turned into voter fraud identifiers and instant data validating scanners!

[Cartmann99]

Spoiler

 

[Cartmann99]

LindellTV.com is rerunning Mikey's spittle-flecked rant from last night. I was under the impression that he was going to do freshly-baked rants twice a day until he ran out of money.

[Cartmann99]

[AlmostSavedAtTacoBell]

It’s just an endless buffet of crazy cakes and each one is more delicious than the one before!! He’s yelling at the fake news people for actually having a line they won’t cross (obviously only out of fear of being sued into oblivion) and offering Sean Hannity a job at My Pillow (to stuff pillows? sew cases?) whilst seeking justice for the attack that may or may not have happened but also is fending off lawsuits and threats of lawsuits all when promising Cyber Trainwreck 2- Trumpy Boogaloo. Even Will Ferrell is thinking, “I can’t come close to anything this bizarre.”

[Dandruff]

26 minutes ago, Cartmann99 said:

And if he doesn't...they can try to go for whatever's left after Dominion's through.

[Cartmann99]

Mikey's 6pm rant is live.

Did any of you know that Mikey is upset with Faux? It was news to me.

 

Mikey could "feel the evil" emanating from his attacker.

[Cartmann99]

 

Mikey is telling us about his free recovery clinic.

Packet capture! Everybody drink!

Mikey keeps reading out people's phone numbers.

Edited August 17, 2021 by Cartmann99

[Cartmann99]

Mikey's showing us a close-up of the tangerine his attacker used.

Spoiler

 

Ooh, Mikey is mad at Sean Hannity!

Edited August 17, 2021 by Cartmann99

[Cartmann99]

Mikey is defending Dennis Montgomery's honor so stridently that I'm expecting a duel.

 

Brannon's trying to get Mikey to wrap it up as it's almost time for Brannon's show. Mikey's not listening.

[Cartmann99]

Mikey's done for now.

Spoke too soon, now General Flynn is on with Mikey and Brannon. Looks like Mikey's taking over Brannon's show.

He's ranting about Faux again.

Brannon should just pull out a book while Mikey and Flynn are ranting away at each other.

Help us Faux! Help us!

Edited August 18, 2021 by Cartmann99