Jump to content
IGNORED

Bro Gary Hawkins 16: In BetWeen


Recommended Posts

PumaLover
28 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Probably just Gary's usual inability to come up with words. But maybe, being the clean living Christian that he is, he didn't want to say "prick," even as a verb.

:lol4:

I bought this for my friends who were moving to Arizona 😆

Also am I the only one who is on the EDGE of her seat waiting to hear Jethere's song? (which will presumably be recorded on his cell phone?)

pricks.jpg

  • Haha 14
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 607
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • thoughtful

    222

  • Xan

    52

  • Ozlsn

    51

  • Black Aliss

    41

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

OK, I'm not eating, I'm feeling strong . . . I'm going to listen to the rest of Pastor Racist Who's Been in a Cave for 50 Years' book commercial - er, message. I'm imagining you all chanting "tho

NB: I scrolled back to the top of this post before submitting, to add this note - this one is not funny. It is sad and could be triggering to some. Still Thursday morning at the camp meeting (the

Gary kicked off his vacation by preaching at Forestdale Baptist in Knoxville TN tonight. Congregational singing of Trust and Obey starts them off, then pastor prays while Gary moans and calls out. The

Posted Images

griffin

We have a cactus called Jumping Cholla. They usually grow about knee or thigh high. They have lots of little growths like little balls covered with needles and if you get really near or brush against one, one will "jump" off and the needles stick into you. Tour guides love to demonstrate this. To get them off, they light them on fire or use a comb. 

  • Thank You 7
Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful
1 hour ago, griffin said:

We have a cactus called Jumping Cholla. They usually grow about knee or thigh high. They have lots of little growths like little balls covered with needles and if you get really near or brush against one, one will "jump" off and the needles stick into you. Tour guides love to demonstrate this. To get them off, they light them on fire or use a comb. 

Maybe that's what the kids were near.

So, Gary, next time you tell this story, don't use "shock" as your verb. Use "attack!" That will really confuse your listeners.

The attack of the cactus! Coming soon to a movie theater near you streaming service in your house!

Gary doesn't want us to depend on our Pray:

image.png.999ae1c9c867743e4d539238e13f246e.png

 

  • Haha 9
Link to post
Share on other sites
Black Aliss
2 hours ago, griffin said:

We have a cactus called Jumping Cholla. They usually grow about knee or thigh high. They have lots of little growths like little balls covered with needles and if you get really near or brush against one, one will "jump" off and the needles stick into you. Tour guides love to demonstrate this. To get them off, they light them on fire or use a comb. 

I hate those things!

  • Upvote 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
Xan

Gary was on Facebook and put up a wall o' text:

781567051_Screenshot(3672).png.6169c1838a55a05c415d8923870325c0.png

Gary wants us to know that we might not be saving souls the right way.  After all, he's a professional.  He understands how to do it correctly.  If we attempt it, we might actually be sending souls to Hell.  Best to keep Gary out there preaching, people, and let him handle the soul winning.

I think I must have watched "Ghostbusters" too recently because that's now the image I've got in my head.  There's Gary in a "Hellbusters" outfit with an old, rugged cross painted on his vehicle and a rocking theme song playing in the background.

  • Upvote 2
  • Haha 12
  • Thank You 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
smittykins

“It’s not easy or hard”? 
 

:confusion-confused:

  • Upvote 5
  • Haha 8
Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful
49 minutes ago, smittykins said:

“It’s not easy or hard”? 
 

:confusion-confused:

That's a standard Gary-ism. Usually, when spoken, it's something like this, very rhythmic and sing-song: "Some people make it easy, some people make it hard, I'm glad God made it simple: just believe and receive what Jesus did on the old rugged cross."

But you're right - it makes no sense the simplistic way Gary says it.

I think whoever Gary stole that from was saying that salvation can't be won through just being a good person or saying a sinner's prayer (too easy) or through lots of works, whether giving to others or rituals and sacraments (too hard), but by accepting Jesus' sacrifice on the cross (just right).

Did I just use the three bears to explain Gary's theology? 🐻 :tw_face_bear: :animals-bear:

  • Upvote 2
  • Haha 13
Link to post
Share on other sites
Dana723
9 hours ago, smittykins said:

“It’s not easy or hard”? 

You know, that would be a good name for the next thread title

Bro Gary Hawkins 17:  It's (or He's) Not Easy or Hard

  • Upvote 4
  • Haha 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • samurai_sarah locked this topic
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.



  • Recent Status Updates

    • WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

      WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

      I thought I found the part I need for my car on O'Reilly Auto Parts' website, but it looks like I can't get it at this time. 
      (Please, please, please, please, please click the link! The joke only works if you see it. I promise it really is the auto parts site! )
      For those who can't or won't click:
       
      · 1 reply
    • Cartmann99

      Cartmann99

      A few weeks ago, I was telling @HerNameIsBuffy about the generously sized single carrot I received from Imperfect Foods. Well, today I got two more monsters in my box. I ordered a pound of carrots and a pound of sweet potatoes, and this is what they gave me:

      At its widest point, the sweet potato is nine inches in diameter, while the carrot tops out at seven and three-quarter inches. I kinda feel bad about my plans to eat them, as these two are definitely large enough to pursue careers in the adult film industry.
      · 3 replies
    • Bethella

      Bethella

      Fuck. Both of my interns are in quarantine. One is positive, the other is a close contact (her exposure was from her roommate, not the other intern). I know six other people who are or were sick within the last month and at least four other people who've had to quarantine after close contact. Things were supposed to be getting better. 😷
       
      · 0 replies
    • WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

      WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

      I think most of us on FJ dislike the way many of the fundies talk about "training" their children. I've often read FJers post, "You train a dog. You teach a child."
      I would also bet that most of us don't think about humans as being "well bred", like a good breeding line of purebred dogs. 
      I'm a bit nauseated right now from reading the phrase "well bred" applied to human beings so many times. What bullshit.
      And apparently, I think too much.
      · 3 replies
    • FluffySnowball

      FluffySnowball

      Wishing everyone on FJ a very happy month of Ramadan and lots of peace and blessings ✨🙏
      · 1 reply
    • Bluebirdbluebell

      Bluebirdbluebell

      I feel like we need a Rachel Hollis snark thread. She landed in a lot of trouble recently after a bad TIKTOK video. She isn't fundie, although she is the daughter of a Pentecostal minister.  I've been watching videos on Youtube about her, both from before the scandal and now. I didn't know much about her, but I'm catching up.
      · 1 reply
    • louisa05

      louisa05

      Conservatives on mask mandates: they’re just trying to make people comply with government rules. Resist!
      Conservatives after yet another police shooting of an unarmed black man: He should have complied with the police’s orders.  
      · 1 reply
    • 47of74

      47of74

      There is no Dana, only Zuul
       
      · 0 replies
    • WiseGirl

      WiseGirl

      I have a pile of old vintage handkerchiefs with lace crochet edges. Anyone have any ideas on how to display or use them? My grandmother made some of them. Time to get them out of the drawer.
      · 2 replies
    • K'Z'K

      K'Z'K

      Attention Massholes!
      There will be a drive-through J&J vaccine clinic in Rutland (near Worcester) on April 19-22, and as of this writing--about 9:30pm on Sunday, April 11--there are tons of slots open on all but the first day. Anyone who lives (or works?) in Massachusetts and is over 18 can sign up now.
      https://www.rrecc.us/vaccine
       
      [And for everyone else: yes, people from Massachusetts are called Massholes. People from elsewhere started calling us that as an insult, but we ran with it. Vaccine demand is wicked high here, so it's hard to get appointments. Hence the public service announcement.]
       
      Side note: I know that J&J allocations are dropping this week, but I presume, or at least hope, that they've planned for that and either already have the vaccines on hand or will get them.
      · 1 reply
  • Recent Blog Entries

×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.