Bro Gary Hawkins 16: In BetWeen

[thoughtful]

2 hours ago, postscript said:

It’s like reading the transcript of a Rat Pack-era nightclub act, plus Jesus. 

Really - it has a certain Don Rickles flavor, but with even more predictability.

 

[Black Aliss]

17 hours ago, thoughtful said:

OK, I'm not eating, I'm feeling strong . . . I'm going to listen to the rest of Pastor Racist Who's Been in a Cave for 50 Years' book commercial - er, message.

I'm imagining you all chanting "thoughtful, thoughful . . . " like the crowd in Rudy.

<snipping racist content>

There was a second session that same night, after a short break.

I don't think I have the strength.

Thank you for your service. 

Spoiler

 

Edited February 20, 2021 by Black Aliss

[Dana723]

17 hours ago, thoughtful said:

"If you think all of the races are equal, you got mental problems, and I know 90% don't think that way."

What in the name of Donald Trump is that racist sh*t?

[Ozlsn]

9 hours ago, thoughtful said:

He clearly relished the first moments he made them uncomfortable by saying the quiet part out loud, then pushing them hard to accept that it's OK to do so, and "perverted" to feel otherwise.

So he's evangelizing racism essentially. I can't say I'm that surprised. Probably fascism too.

[thoughtful]

On 2/17, Gary preached at Naschitti Baptist Church in Naschitti, NM.

The congregation sings Send the Light, He Lives and Great Is Thy Faithfulness.

Then the pastor reads their "memory verse for the month," Psalms 84:4 - Blessed are they that dwell in thy house: they will be still praising thee. Selah.

Becky sings Preach On, and Gary comes up to preach, starting off with mocking weak preaching. Then he takes a chance, wild man that he is, and says the name of the church and then repeats that dangerous word it when he adds the location.

He does OK with not sounding like he's saying "shitty," making a clear "ch" sound. However, I hear someone, possibly Becky, correcting his vowel sound for the first syllable - he says "a" as in "nasty," and the other person is saying "ah" as in "father."

After some slimy faux self-deprecating stuff, most of the rest is familiar. He never announces it, but I figure out that it is his Making Church Great Again spiel. Anything unique is below.

He rambles on about some paperwork that had to get back to North Carolina within ten days, and getting Becky to talk to people on the phone, because she's nicer, and ends with something about taking the tags off of the old van and "puttin' 'em on there." But God's good.

This may mean that Gary has yet another vehicle - I wish I could tell you for sure, but who knows. He could be talking about the van he's been driving since this trip started, and meant the tags from the late lamented truck.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+corinthians+12%3A12-25&version=KJV

Read with many errors, including "God hath tempted the body together" instead of "God hath tempered the body together."

But he does pronounce "schism" correctly. So maybe he's learned something in the hundreds of times he's read this same passage.

"I know of a Mexican friend of mine - ah hope you're OK with them words, 'cause ah'm a hillbilly, ah don' ah don' ah don' have high-dollar words."

Gary, contrary to what you may think, "Mexican" is not an insult, and no fancy high-dollar words are needed as substitutes.

Gary compares the fact that his Mexican friend got saved in the US, then wanted to go back to his homeland to preach, to his own desires. "Ah have the raht to go to mah people. You say 'Who's your people?' 'Merrican people. You say 'What collar are they?' We got many peop - many collars."

"Collar" is how Gary pronounces "color." Or maybe, as long as you wear a tie to church, Gary doesn't care what collar you are.

The vehicle comes up again. "I mean hey, ah haven't really uh got too happy over the part, ah prob'ly haven't showed mah feelings might like I should have in the part of gittin' this uh gittin' this vehicle, but, ah'm rejoicin' on the insahd you say wha? 'Cause God has blessed me."

Still unclear, in, uh, the part of bein' clear.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Peter+5%3A1-3&version=KJV

Many stumbles and errors, including his usual "filthy luger." Clean your gun, Gary.

Gary jokes that he doesn't need a college degree because he doesn't have a wall to hang one on, during his usual rant about not being against higher education except that he is.

We find out that the story about Jacob telling him he wasn't supposed to invite people to church happened on the reservation. ?

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+12%3A1-2&version=KJV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+4%3A23-24&version=KJV

While screaming his usual rant about Buddha and Allah being in Hell, Gary pronounces the second of those names "Hallah."
 

Spoiler

 

I hate overbaked breads, myself, so I hope Hallah has not gone to Hell.

 

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+17%3A6&version=KJV

While screaming about how God will always make a way, he says "Ah've gotta have  a trailer before ah leave _____ (? west? way?), 'cause ah'm not leavin' mah stuff here, amen! Ah know how Indians are, _______ (several sounds I couldn't even begin to understand - it's at 56:20, if anyone wants to take a crack at it)."

He gets a big laugh with this bit of bigotry.

He goes on screaming about how God will provide him with a trailer - he doesn't know if it will be a New Mexico trailer, an Arizona trailer, or what kind of trailer, but it will be from God.

A few sentences after this clear message that the people of the southwest are expected to buy him a trailer, he says, with scorn in his voice: "Ah'm not dependin' on the government!" 

Gary says Becky looked it up online, and he says he could have gotten $600 a month from the government, but he'd rather depend on God. Now, why do I think that they didn't find that out until after it was too late? In fact, I think Gary said he wasn't eligible for the unemployment checks, way back in the spring.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+1%3A22&version=KJV

God's trying to get our attention with bad weather.

Gary has announced almost all of his readings wrong, then corrected himself. He does say something mildly amusing this time: "Ah do know mah Bible, ah just don't know how to write."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs+29%3A18&version=KJV

The devil's had a great year, because nobody was in church.

They were told they're not allowed to knock on doors, but Becky was just somewhere knocking on doors, because God made it possible.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalms+3%3A8&version=KJV

He says he was in a church in Ohio where the pastor told the women not to hug, and the men not to shake hands. but they did it anyway. Gary is happy about that.

I guess God made that possible, too.

No word on whether the men hugged or the women shook hands, or whether the pastor issued any advice about that.

Selah.

Edited February 21, 2021 by thoughtful
riffle

[thoughtful]

Gary needs us to pay - er, pray:

Spoiler

Of course, that means giving lip service to others who need money:

Spoiler

I assume Becky typed Gary's answers in the comments:

In God Gary trusts - all others pay cash:

Spoiler

Here is another unpopular post, that he's posted at least  a dozen times before. Redemption draw with nigh!

Spoiler

Hey, he got reap and sow in the right order!

Spoiler

 

Vegetables! It's a miracle!

Love the typo.

[thoughtful]

Gary really wants to visit California.

Spoiler

Only one song?

Spoiler

The preaches have something for y'all (preach prits? preach fruzz?). Gary really needs to learn how to spell - I don't think he really wants churches to be fined, he wants their money in his pocket.

Spoiler

 

[thoughtful]

As the video of Sunday school this morning at Navajo Baptist Church in Shiprock NM begins, they are singing Nothing But the Blood of Jesus. The pastor prays, and Gary adds a "yes" here and there.

I think this is the church that lost their pastor and his wife to Covid last year.

They sing There is a Happy Land, in Navajo. Well, that adds to my list of ways I have heard or seen that hymn, for trivia questions nobody will ever ask me (the others, besides church videos, are Mark Twain's parody, and the films of The King and I and Arsenic and Old Lace. It seems there is an even longer list).

Gary comes up to preach. White lace curtains, with valance, are an interesting look for framing a cross and (I think) baptismal font. It's a kitchen! It's a church! It's a kitchen and a church!

Spoiler

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis+18%3A22-50&version=KJV

"Peradventure" becomes "pre-adventurous" - every time. Other errors abound, of course, despite this being so repetitive.

Gary's theme is Can God Count on You? Not one of his greatest hits, but certainly one we've heard before, so only unique moments are below.

"What they call it, history is repeating itself."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+22%3A37&version=KJV

As he has before, Gary ends with "might" instead of mind. That's a different verse, Gary.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+1%3A19-23&version=KJV

KJV:  Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.
Bro Gary Version:  Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and super - super-filthy - super-fifth -filthy of knottiness, and receive with meekness and in great - graftness words, which is - which is able to save your soul.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+peter+1%3A15-16&version=KJV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+5%3A29&version=KJV

Gary makes reference to his "mini-van," and says "the Lord just give us that." Still not clear.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=job+1%3A1&version=KJV

Gary talks about how he told a drunk about God and gave him a gospel tract while in the laundromat in their town last year.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=james+5%3A16&version=KJV

"Fevrent" for "fervent," of course.

Make sure you're saved, except ye be reptobate.

I think Gary hates preaching Sunday school. He seems to think it's just a time and place to do an abbreviated version of one of his messages, and that he's not allowed to rev up to full shouting mode.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

Thank you @thoughtful for your terrific recaps!

Becks has lost 99 lbs so far and is looking better.  Too bad about her hateful beliefs.  She could easily lose 300 lbs of ugly fathead if she dumped .  Seriously though good for her,  to bad she needed surgery to do it, but I understand.

Spoiler

 

[postscript]

“Chasen” - I picture God chasing Gary around a table, or perhaps a high-speed auto chase with God in a cop car, all sirens blazing.

”Thanks food” - somehow it seems appropriate for Gary to be thanking the food rather than his hosts or even God. I’ll ignore the foil-wrapped presentation, since this is likely the healthiest meal Gary has seen in years. And I see a pita hiding in the back. I suspect Gary needed to be educated on what that was. 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

1 hour ago, postscript said:

And I see a pita hiding in the back. I suspect Gary needed to be educated on what that was.

I thought it looked like all the "fixins" for fajitas, so I would think they were more likely tortillas. I wonder how Gary pronounces tortillas? Or fajitas?

Edited February 22, 2021 by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
punctuation

[thoughtful]

22 hours ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

 

Becks has lost 99 lbs so far and is looking better.  Too bad about her hateful beliefs.  She could easily lose 300 lbs of ugly fathead if she dumped . 

 

Now, now - let's be accurate. Gary said he was almost up to 300 pounds before he lost the weight. So she'd only be losing about 220 pounds of fathead. ?

Sunday morning service at Navajo Baptist Temple starts with What a Friend We Have in Jesus, a prayer, then When He Cometh, in Navajo. The pianist forgets a sharp for a few phrases, so the piano accompaniment is occasionally in minor. Gary whistles some of it.

Very Charles Ives.

Another prayer, then the offering. The pastor takes requests, but nobody has either a special song or a testimony. Announcements, including lots of exhortation to give to Bro Gary, then the Hawkinses sing Standing on the Solid Rock.

Gary comes up to preach.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+corinthians+15%3A51-60&version=KJV

KJV: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible
BGV: for the trump shall sound, and the dead in Christ shall rise first - the dead in Christ shall rise - and be - and shall rise - the dead shall be raised incorruptible

Among other errors, he leaves off the last three words of verse 58.

Both he and the church members get up to calling back and forth loudly almost right away - another indication that so much of this is performance and/or people whipping themselves up regardless of what the message is. It's not done during Sunday school, but is done merely minutes later, in the regular service.

The theme is Victory in Jesus.

Gary screams and yells about how their late pastor and his wife are happy and healthy in Heaven.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+John+5%3A13&version=KJV

Somebody on Facebook asked people to post "a jee-ah-eff, whatever that means - what's that mean?"
Becky: "It's just an animated picture."
Gary: "A animated picture of what ah do for a living. An' ah went and found a picture of a preacher holdin' his Bahble, swingin' it, an' sayin' 'Not today, devil, not today, devil.'"

Spoiler

 

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+14%3A15-16&version=KJV

While telling us that Jesus will comfort us, even if people are sick and die, Gary mentions that his mother is having surgery on Friday. Gary will be in Arizona, but he has a comforter that will tell him everything's going to be taken care of. Nice to know you won't be worried, while your mother is under the knife, Gar.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ephesians+2%3A4-7&version=KJV

Read with lots of errors, of course.

Gary is a child of the King. "That one ol' prince somebody over wherever he's at, he married this movie star and they have denounced bein' royal. Well ah'm gon' say somethin' to ya - they kin do that in this world _____ (?). Ah kin go to North Ca'olina and change mah last name and ah don't think ah'm goin' to 'cause ah lahk it pretty good amen. It's very easy for me to spell, it's very easily for me to say, so ah'm gonna keep of it, amen."

He goes on with his usual spiel about how he'd still be a Hawkins, then compares not being able to change your bloodline to being saved. I was expecting his usual stuff about being in God's royal family, but this time he adds something: "Ah could denounce God, but He can't denounce me, because ah'm in His family."

Gary, are you sure that's what you meant to say?

He lists all of the things that he told God he'd need before first going on the road eight years ago - a vehicle, places to stay, clothes for himself, the needs of seven children, etc. And God "has tooken care" him.

He says he's been "livin' on Jesus' credit card."

Next is Hebrews 12:6. This is the entire reading:

KJV: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
BGV: For whom the Lord loveth he chaseth, encourges - scourges every one - son whom he receiveth.

Gary celebrates being "whupped," a bit less than usual, but it's still obnoxious.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+12%3A26&version=KJV

Gary tells us he's had lots of invitations to pastor, but he knows God wants him on the road. He also talks about putting himself aside to just listen, if that's what a congregation needs.

He talks about all the things "they" used to do when all of the kids were with them - mow yards, pull weeds - it's all the Lord's work. You mean it's women and children's work, don't you Gary?

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+14%3A1-3&version=KJV

Gary's looking forward to his gold-lined mansion and the Chinese restaurant in Heaven.

Four years ago (maybe, Gary's never sure of these things), Becky, unbeknownst to Gary, was praying to have "a little place of her own," just for a short time around Christmas. And sure enough, someone asked them to watch a church and feed their dogs, near Myrtle Beach. "And wha is that? Just tryin' to serve the Lord."

And we find out that there is, indeed, a new van, given to him by the people in Thoreau. How many vehicles is this that people have given to Gary in the past few years?

I guess you have to go get another "Due to the fire, the party in Hell has been canceled" bumper sticker, Gary. Maybe you should buy them in bulk.

He says: "Ah was plannin' on gittin' mah van back on the road, ah knew nothing about anything. Brother Sheridan didn't say a word to me. He got up on Sunday night, and here was a statement he made, y'see ah'm a hillbilly and so - ah do catch on, it just takes me a little bit longer than most people. And he said 'We gonna take up a offerin' for Brother Hawkins and we're gonna have something else.' Listen, ah don't - listen, when people think they gonna give me stuff ah git a little bit concerned about it, amen. He got up and presented that van to me."

He starts softly, and builds to a bellow: "Ah don't deserve anything. Ah'm just a country boy from No'th Ca'lina that just wants to serve the Lord. Ah'm just a country boy from No'th Ca'lina that just wants to go and tell people Jesus loves them. Ah'm just a country boy that don't have a whole lotta education and ain't got all the high-dollar degrees 'n' everything, that wants people to know that there's a Hell to shun" (suddenly quiet) "and a Heaven to gain!"

Spoiler

And, in your case, a nearly-infinite stream of clothes, vehicles, food and roofs over your head to gain, eh, Gary?

Of course, humble Gary reminds them "There's nothin' special 'bout me, 'cept for Jesusssssss."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+15%3A51&version=KJV

Someday, Jesus will make Gary perfect. For now, He's still workin' on him, including helping him overcome his Dr. Pepper addiction in 2019, and helped him learn to like public speaking, which he insists he was unwilling to do in the past.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+16%3A30-31&version=KJV

He leaves off the last half-verse.

You better make sure you're saved, lest ye be reptobate.

And sure enough, he mentions that he needs a new bumper sticker, and misquotes it as usual.

Think Jesus will buy him one?

 

 

Edited February 22, 2021 by thoughtful

[thoughtful]

4 hours ago, postscript said:

”Thanks food” - somehow it seems appropriate for Gary to be thanking the food rather than his hosts or even God.

That one was actually a post from Becky. I had posted it separately, but the posts merged, so I guess it looked like it was another Gary post, at first glance.

I have no idea if she is as bad as Gary about all of the "it came from God/Jesus, nobody owns anything but God, give us stuff because it all really belongs to God, but we're worthless except for Jesus, are those boots my size and how's the pickup on this van when the AC is on?" routine.

I suspect she's a bit more gracious, but, then, who isn't?

[thoughtful]

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that we get to see the new mini-van.

The bad news is that we get to see it because Gary, that shit-for-brains, is back to doing Facebook live videos while driving.

So, if it was him who destroyed the truck in some way, he hasn't learned his lesson.

Spoiler

They're going to Utah to pick up a trailer the Lord has provided for them because He's so good, and . . .

Becky suddenly squeals "There's llamas?"

Spoiler

Becky, don't distract him further.

Anyway, Gary is in awe of all the Lord is doing. "The trailer went from 750 to 675." I assume he means dollars, and is trying to tell us that the price was lowered, but who knows.

He goes on with his usual God is good, give thanks all the time routine.

"If you ever git to thinkin' you're somebody, you're high-dollar big stuff, you know, why'nt  you start - why'nt you just sit down and read the whole book of Corinth - 1 Corinthians?"

He seems to be telling us that 1 Corinthians will take us down a peg. Paul will tell you how wicked you are. Not sure how that will make us more grateful.

He reminds us that "There's nothin' good in Gary, except for God." I don't really need reminding. And, since I don't believe in God, I can cut that sentence off in the middle, and believe it wholeheartedly.

He got a message from the wife of a preacher friend in North Carolina, saying her husband, who has cancer, has less than 48 hours to live.

First of all, I thought they only did that "exactly how long you have left to live" nonsense in old movies. Second, Gary says this with no sadness at all - it's just grist for his mill, to make his usual point about going to Heaven. He cheerfully says this man will "win the victory."

The "stay away from the news media" spiel is next.  "Ah'm not talkin' about durin' uh  just durin' the Trump ministration," he tells us - they've never told the truth. "There was a tahm that the weatherman couldn't even get the weather right."

So, the fact that the science of meteorology has improved over the years is proof the media purposely lies?

"Get off the soapbox, get away from the media, get off of Facebook, go live! Go live a little bit, live for Jesisss."

Gary - mote, beam.

Then comes the "the World hates us because we're doin' right" bit.

Gary says we shouldn't complain. We get to hear how little sleep Gary got last night several times during this 8-minute video, and how late he'll get to bed tonight, but he's not complaining.

Really.

Comments (Malcolm needs to put his listening ears on, Andy Stock gives stock answers, but I'm impressed that one of Gary's friends can spell "should've" correctly):

Spoiler

 

Edited February 22, 2021 by thoughtful
punctuation

[Xan]

@thoughtful - I tried to listen to a little bit of Gary but his striped shirt was strobing so badly on the phone camera that I couldn't pay attention.  

It does look like they've got more room in the van so that's good for Jacob.  At least he has more room to stretch out now.  I think Gary preferred driving the truck with everyone crammed in and the bed of the truck being full of tent.  Now, he's going to have to pull a trailer and I'm sure we're going to hear a lot about how much trouble that is.  I don't know why he thinks the tent is so important.  He doesn't use it that often and he never brings in more than a handful of people.

He got a message from the wife of a preacher friend in North Carolina, saying her husband, who has cancer, has less than 48 hours to live.  He doesn't sound particularly sympathetic about this.  It almost sounds like envy.  Gary has created such a wonderful Heaven in his own mind that he prefers it to living.  Then again, if I had to live in Gary's mind I'd prefer dying too.

[postscript]

I’ve often wondered why they just don’t rent a tent and chairs locally whenever they need one. It would probably be less hassle and more cost-effective than hauling that nasty tent wherever they go. The hosting church could pay for tent rental. But this is Gary. Sense and cost-effectiveness don’t enter into his thinking. 

[thoughtful]

"Why the tent?" is a good question, and it has a lot of partners in my mind. I've thought "why ________?" about a lot of Gary's actions, since most of what he insists on doing strikes me as totally random.

I think Gary has a very specific vision of his Traveling Evangelist dream. It must involve (let me know if I miss anything):

- travel - US only, trying to keep away from weather that is too hot or too cold,  preferably going past pretty scenery and with fun places to visit.
- getting a chance to read his favorite verses and spew his favorite few messages, featuring death, pain, Hell, whuppin', burning, sin, blood, torture, Walmarts, politics and . . . thankfulness!
- doorknocking (and they'd better notice that he's humble enough to do it!).
- no responsibility to a specific church or its people, no pushback to anything he's said (except from an occasional person who is clearly wrong, that he can be pissy about in a future message).
- no visiting the sick or grieving, no funerals.
- no charity except towards other missionaries (and make sure people know!).
- Becky (and whatever children are still with them, or that he can rope in) waiting on him hand and foot, and ingratiating them to hosts by doing real work for them.
- nice, clean places to stay, that he never has to take care of in any way, or even neaten up before leaving.
- the food he prefers at that given time, whether indulgent or limited, being served to him, with no effort on his part.
- the tent, whenever he can talk anybody into it.
- a vehicle that will carry the tent, preferably a nifty truck, but he'll settle for something else if it's free.
- cowboy boots, neatly ironed long-sleeved dress shirt and slacks (which he will misshape by stuffing crap into the pockets), a nice belt, and a tie. Sometimes a jacket, especially if there is a piano or bench on which to do the overheated-preacher jacket-toss.
- lots of free stuff, for which he only has to thank Jesus.
- singing and playing instruments, with Becky and the kids doing all of the work.
- mostly white people, with a few very grateful, humble non-whites now and then.
- mostly far-right conservatives, with the occasional moderate piping up on Facebook so Gary can put him in his place.
- mostly strict KJV people, with the occasional "but what about non-English speakers" or "learning the Greek or Hebrew can lend insight" guy on Facebook, so Gary can put him in his place after dealing with the moderate conservative.
- never meeting a woman who has any thoughts about any of the above, other than being supportive (Becky is permitted a bit of sarcasm and teasing him).
- being admired - not for himself or his skills, oh no no no, but for his humbleness and how you can see Jesusssssss in him.

I think that, if the tent fits in to Gary's mental picture, it has to be shlepped around and offered to all.

Flexibility is not a hallmark of fundies, and especially not of Gary.

[thoughtful]

Gary, mazel tov on your new baby.

And he got lots of comments giving God all the glory, of course. Because the people who manufactured the trailer and the previous owners who decided to sell it, and brought the price down for him, were somehow not involved.

?

Edited February 23, 2021 by thoughtful
riffle

[thoughtful]

Charles Eric Rice commented on Gary's trailer announcement, so I clicked on over to see what he'd posted lately.

He has a rather creepy (but, I have to admit, sort of amusing) picture combo at the top now. He posts lots of drawings that have the same vintage look as the background of this.

Spoiler

 

He has a few live videos, and posts 10 -25 Bible-related or "inspirational" spiels every day, some of them extremely long (I assume he crossposts them from somewhere - maybe the same source as the drawings). 

In addition, he sounds like he thinks Jesus is angry a lot:

 

Spoiler

Everyone is welcome, and every word is capitalized:

Spoiler

However, he also just put up this sign:

Spoiler

Persecution from Facebook, and insulting the President:

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

 

[PumaLover]

On 2/21/2021 at 9:07 AM, thoughtful said:

Gary really wants to visit California.

We don't want you Bro, sorry. We're still busy dealing with our own problems, including the fires, which I'm sure you will make some rude comment about, how they're our fault for being a liberal, progressive state.

Even Nevada is too close for comfort for me! And OF COURSE they got the van and trailer they wanted. Of course they did. I don't know about you guys, but has anyone ever just GIVEN you multiple veehickles and things for free? I don't understand these damn fundies. I'm still pissed about Jill and her free car (after the wreck) that's literally nicer and newer than any of the veehickles we own.

[thoughtful]

Gary is worried that some preachers are just doing it for the ego boost. Gary is just out to make a name for that little-known fellow, JESUS.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

5 hours ago, PumaLover said:

Even Nevada is too close for comfort for me!

Nevada is too close for my comfort, too! I guess I'd better keep an eye on Bro Gary's locale while he's out West. He'd probably like my state's conservative bent ? but I imagine he might have an issue with the large LDS population here. Please stay away, Bro. We have enough trouble without adding you to the mix. 

[FiveAcres]

13 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary, mazel tov on your new baby.

And he got lots of comments giving God all the glory, of course. Because the people who manufactured the trailer and the previous owners who decided to sell it, and brought the price down for him, were somehow not involved.

?

Does anyone know the make and model of the new van? This trailer seems largely composed of particle board. Particle board is very, very heavy. The trailer also looks like it has the aerodynamic qualities of a storage shed. Which means it will not handle well in a strong wind. As far as I know, most vans are not designed to tow heavy loads. Does his new van have a dealer installed towing package? If not, I wonder how long the transmission will last. I also wonder how well this rig will handle in the mountains of the southwest. And Rufus forbid he comes to Colorado.

(I have moderate experience in towing rigs since I once had a three quarter ton truck and a four horse trailer. I had a very healthy respect for the carrying limits of my own rig, and did not drive it on the local freeways when the crosswinds were bad.)

 

[Four is Enough]

During our camping years, both tent and trailer, I learned a very great deal about what will fit in a station wagon, what a van/minivan will haul, and how to disperse it for even towing/good traction.

I watched a helluva lot of people make very bad mistakes. I'm convinced Gary is one of that type. He piles as much crap into his vehicle, tow vehicle, and wherever else he can find to stash something. He doesn't maintain his vehicles with things like oil, maintenance, tire rotation, etc..(is my guess) 

It's very easy to overload/unbalance a trailer. That little homemade thing of Gary's is probably on a little flatbed thingie the original owner bought at BJs or Sam's.. made primarily to carry a lawn mower or two... How do I know this? I had one of those. Mr. Four and I built up the sides and made a hauler for our camping equipment when we tent camped. Single axle, sides hooked together with gate latches, covered with a tarp, and off we'd go. We found very early that the heavy stuff and the large stuff had to go on the bottom and be dispersed evenly, or we'd get problems right away. Yet we'd see people coming into campgrounds with all kinds of weird loads, and we'd hear stories like, "Yeah, we got two flats on the way. These tires just don't hold up any more. " ESPECIALLY if you have your trailer overloaded, moron! Or the "we got passed and the trailer almost came in front of the car..." 

I swear sometimes people just like to have the drama of telling their hair raising stories. After years of camping, all i want to do is get there and home safely.

But Bro Gary believes in the Lord, who gives him stuff, so he doesn't have to worry about whether or not he's behaving in a safe manner on the road. 

I had a friend who sold fabric at various medieval/Civil War events. They had a big van, a pavilion they sold from, and a big (too big) trailer that they hauled, full of fabric, pavilion, tent poles, rugs, clothing and accoutrements for the family. In the meantime, the family van contained up to 8 people, food, and whatever stuff they required. The van was overloaded, there was even stuff on top. The trailer was horribly overloaded. Fabric is HEAVY! Their profits were taken up a lot by repairs to the engine, the tires, the axle.. but they never learned to either take less or upgrade their equipment.

Bro Gary probably could learn a great deal and save his money, and still have the truck from 5 years ago, if he'd learn a bit of maintenance and proper care for his equipment.

[thoughtful]

10 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

He'd probably like my state's conservative bent ? but I imagine he might have an issue with the large LDS population here.

Gary is very brave - he ventured into the den of the LDS, Utah, to get his trailer. He ain't afraid of no Mormons - he'll knock on the doors of the Temple itself to give out tracts and tell them they're going to Hell, not Kolob!

Thanks to (in numerical order! ? ) @Four is Enough and @FiveAcres for the insight about towing trailers. It's a subject about which I know nothing. Other than belonging to a raw-feeding dog owners co-op, years ago, and knowing that 900 pounds of meat will fit in a Toyota Matrix, I am completely without experience meeting the challenges of hauling lots of stuff.

Becky has posted. I wonder if she is angry or scared about her husband's constantly endangering them on the highways of the US.