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Bro Gary Hawkins 16: In BetWeen


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45 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Becky has posted. I wonder if she is angry or scared about her husband's constantly endangering them on the highways of the US.

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Anyone else think that this could have been written by any gas-lighter anywhere?

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Becky got a comment on her "don't quit" post, and was  . . . not helpful.

Spoiler

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No nuance, no specifics. How about somebody talking about what one is considering giving up - that might help.

I'd like to see Becky and Gary give up on this ridiculous charade of Gary being a preacher.

I'd like to see them give up on being right-wing idiots who just knee-jerk at the words Democrat, socialism, and rights, and learn how the world actually works.

I'd like to see them give up on making their life an endless superspreader event and auto accident waiting to happen.

Those would be good things to give up.

Oh, and it is not as important, but I'd like to see Gary give up on posting the same stuff all the time, and get some new material:

Spoiler

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Spoiler

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Gary really needs to stop talking about servicing God.  It brings out my inner twelve-year-old.

And what the hell is "plead the blood of Jesus"?  One can plead about something or plead to someone.  How do you plead blood? 

It would be great if God could send him a message by doing something like having his particle-board trailer come unhitched and tumble down, tent and all, into a ravine.  That would certainly help me believe.

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11 minutes ago, Xan said:

And what the hell is "plead the blood of Jesus"?  One can plead about something or plead to someone.  How do you plead blood? 

It's a thing. I guess we just ignore the weird grammar.

However, it's a Pentecostal thing, from what I could find. Oooooh Gary, you bad boy!

https://events.rhema.org/i-plead-the-blood/

Quote

The concept of “pleading the blood” of Jesus has its roots in Pentecostal tradition. It’s a tradition that is necessary and important to continue upholding. The book, The Azusa Street Mission and Revival, contains stories where people came to receive prayer for healing. William Seymour, a leader in the Azusa Street revival, would “plead the blood” over the sick. They were healed and received the Baptism in the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues.

https://www.gotquestions.org/pleading-the-blood.html

Quote

Question: "Is pleading the blood of Jesus biblical?"

Answer: “Pleading the blood of Jesus” in prayer is a teaching common in Pentecostal and Charismatic circles. When people speak of “pleading the blood of Jesus in prayer,” they are referring to the practice of claiming the power of Christ over any and every problem by using the phrase “I plead the blood of Jesus over _______.” People fill in the blank with whatever they want: “I plead the blood of Jesus over my family/job/thoughts/illness.”


“Pleading the blood of Jesus” has no clear basis in Scripture. No one in the Bible ever “pleads the blood” of Christ. Those who “plead the blood” often do so as if there were something magical in those words or as if by using them their prayer is somehow more powerful. This teaching is born from a misguided view of prayer that prayer is a way of manipulating God to get what we want rather than praying for His will to be done. The whole Word of Faith movement, which teaches pleading the blood, is founded on the false teaching that faith is a force and that, if we pray with enough faith, God guarantees us health, wealth, and happiness.

 

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This teaching is born from a misguided view of prayer that prayer is a way of manipulating God to get what we want rather than praying for His will to be done. The whole Word of Faith movement, which teaches pleading the blood, is founded on the false teaching that faith is a force and that, if we pray with enough faith, God guarantees us health, wealth, and happiness.

Thank you, @thoughtful.  Exactly this.  Bro Gary and our other pet fundies seem to think that their prayers are more apt to be answered.  All they have to do is say they want a new car or trailer or food and God will provide it.  They don't have to think about the kindness and generosity of their fellow man who actually had to work to make the money they donate.  It's just God "being good all the time". 

I honestly have no patience with a deity who would reward people like Gary.  Until God smites him, I'm going to keep on being a bit cynical.

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Sounds like "pleading the blood" is like "I lay a hedge of protection over my ...."

 

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Gary, I said I wanted to see something original, not just a long Facebook post version of one of your sermons:

Spoiler

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And he got the Facebook version of the people who yell back in church:

Spoiler

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Becky was asked by commenters on a previous post to show before and after pictures:

Spoiler

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She also did a Facebook live Tupperware party, if anyone wants to check it out. I listened to the beginning, enough to hear that Becky pronounces Tatiana's name "tatty-awn-a." Hope that's how Tatiana likes it!

Then there were some loud crashing noises, and Becky said "he's redecorating here" - I figure Gary knocked some stuff over.

And that's as far as I got.

 

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1 hour ago, griffin said:

One of her favorite products is a coffee "cara fay"

Sounds like a person - if she's in charge of the coffee, perhaps she's someone working the counter at a diner.

"Cara Faye, could you get me another cup of coffee, please?"

Edited by thoughtful
clarity
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Gary's ranting on Facebook:

792248610_Screenshot(3516).png.fa7e5c3f215e0a73392a67f2a313a676.png

All you selfish people out there spending money on yourselves when there are missionaries (like Gary!) in the field who can't do soul winning for God because they don't have money!  Gary gots to get paid, people!  

I suspect that Gary has encountered the suspected difficulties with pulling that trailer full of tent.  He now needs to justify the trouble and expense by getting some more revivals lined up.  The only thing is -- nobody wants him.

Edited by Xan
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54 minutes ago, Xan said:

I suspect that Gary has encountered the suspected difficulties with pulling that trailer full of tent.  He now needs to justify the trouble and expense by getting some more revivals lined up.  The only thing is -- nobody wants him.

If only he made sense, spoke articulately, used proper grammar, spelled accurately, and didn't judge everyone else.

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4 hours ago, Xan said:

Gary's ranting on Facebook:

792248610_Screenshot(3516).png.fa7e5c3f215e0a73392a67f2a313a676.png

All you selfish people out there spending money on yourselves when there are missionaries (like Gary!) in the field who can't do soul winning for God because they don't have money!  Gary gots to get paid, people!  

I suspect that Gary has encountered the suspected difficulties with pulling that trailer full of tent.  He now needs to justify the trouble and expense by getting some more revivals lined up.  The only thing is -- nobody wants him.

I'm guessing he's all the way out west without gas money to make it home.

Gary makes an excellent case for FJ to have either a tiny violin or sad trombone emoji. Oh, well, there's aways a GIF

Spoiler

homer simpson trombone GIF

 

Edited by Black Aliss
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He's not trying to get home, he's in Dewey-Humboldt (not to be confused with Dewey Cheatham and Howe or Dewey Decimal System).

Now he has stopped serving or servicing the Lord, and is  . . . :pb_eek:  . . . severing Him!

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Edited by thoughtful
forgot to close my parentheses!
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Damn, that's a 90 minute drive from me. I'd love to go up there but ... uh .. NO

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12 hours ago, Xan said:

Gary's ranting on Facebook:

792248610_Screenshot(3516).png.fa7e5c3f215e0a73392a67f2a313a676.png

All you selfish people out there spending money on yourselves when there are missionaries (like Gary!) in the field who can't do soul winning for God because they don't have money!  Gary gots to get paid, people!  

I suspect that Gary has encountered the suspected difficulties with pulling that trailer full of tent.  He now needs to justify the trouble and expense by getting some more revivals lined up.  The only thing is -- nobody wants him.

Yes, what will God say to people who deliberately endangered others by continuing to gather in groups with no social distancing and no masks then Gary? Because I think that ranks higher on the sin list than "didn't give money to an ignorant blowhard who pontificates about being saved", if that is even in the vague proximity of the list at all.

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Oh, no! Is someone Becky knows dating a Southern Baptist or :fainting: a Methodist?

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36 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Oh, no! Is someone Becky knows dating a Southern Baptist or :fainting: a Methodist?

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I think this post could be shade at Caleb and his unsaved not the right flavour of Xtian girlfriend.  I looked up her Facebook and I know Bro and Becky can’t be happy with the relationship.  Maybe this means there’s some hope for Caleb.

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22 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

Gary makes an excellent case for FJ to have either a tiny violin or sad trombone emoji. Oh, well, there's aways a GIF

I’d go with The Price Is Right Losing Horns, myself.

They freaked me out as a kid.  Actually, they kind of still do.[/small voice]

Edited by smittykins
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Another verse from Becky:

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So, does your husband visit widows and orphans, Becky? I mostly see his somewhat spotted self ranting self-righteously and doing no real good for anyone.

 

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It looks like Gary preached Sunday school at Gateway Baptist Church in Dewey, AZ this morning, and the regular service.

Sunday school video starts with Gary already at the lectern. They haven't been there in eight years, and Gary jokes that, when he asked the Pastor if he remembered them, he said "How do you forget someone with that many children?"

While mumbling about how long he's been a preacher on the road (why he has to go on about that, I have no idea), Gary says that, if they make it through today, they'll have made it through January, February and March of 2021.

Oops.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+3%3A1-8&version=KJV

He gets a few words right. However:

KJV: unto them were committed the oracles of God.
BGV: unto them were committed the ornances of God.

KJV: But if our unrighteousness commend the righteousness of God
BGV: But if our unright-chness command the right-chness of God

KJV: And not rather, (as we be slanderously reported, and as some affirm that we say,) Let us do evil, that good may come? whose damnation is just.
BGV: And not rather, (as we be slander report, and as some affirm that we say,) Let us do evil, that good come - who - that good come. Whose damnation is just.

"Whenever ya look around we got a different generation, and different generations what people would say today would be good, people would say, uh uh, they would use the word bad. And vice verse, and, y'know everything's true except for God, I mean you know . . ." and he goes on about Facebook and news media, and how we are expected to believe everything we see.

So, when he should say "verse," he always says "verses." When he means "versa," he says "verse." Gary's mind is a wonder.

Gary tells us about a preacher he and his father "were under" for years who used to preach against men having beards. And one day he admitted he was wrong. Gary doesn't care one way or the other about his beard - he says he has it because Becky likes it, and Becky takes care of it.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=phillipians+4%3A13&version=KJV

Gary tattles on someone in New Mexico but he's not going to say where, who said that the Bible has errors in it.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+17%3A20&version=KJV

While telling us that God can do anything, Gary says: "Ah got a bigger vehicle, mah stupidity, it's settin' in North Carolina."

Sounds like Gary blames himself for the truck being out of commision. He goes on:

"God give me somethin' else, something ah could just get on the road, 'cause ah had to go, and the church that ah went to, in New Mexico, didn't think it was safe enough, and didn't think it was room enough, so they went from a conv - Dodge conversion van if any of ya know what that is, to a mini-van, and that's what he wanted me to put all mah stuff in. The church give it to me."

He goes on to tell them that the Lord provided a trailer, for the tent and all of the Tupperware. He tells them how God made sure a guy had a homemade trailer for him, because the commercially made ones were too expensive. Gary was willing to pay his asking price, but the man lowered the price anyway. These things are possible with God. Gary wanted a trailer in 2016, but God wanted him to have it in 2021.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+corinthians+5%3A21&version=KJV

Gary tells a story about the wife of a preacher in Ohio who heard from an old acquaintance, saying she'd like to come to their church, but doubted they'd want her, because she was a drunk. They welcomed her, and she got saved, but her husband didn't. There's some side story about the preacher going to Colorado for a chiropractor. And the newly-saved woman came and cleaned the church and did a lot of other work.

God did that.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+john+5%3A13&version=KJV

While doing his modesty spiel (it's not Gary, it's Jesus, etc.), Gary claims that, last fall, Trump made a speech, somebody said he was great, and Trump said there is nothing great about him, but God is great.

Citation needed, Gary.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+8%3A44&version=KJV

KJV: Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do
BGV: Ye are of mah father the devil, and the lusts of mah father ye will do

Paging Dr. Freud, wearing his slip.

Gary sinned, near the end of 2019 - you heard it here first. The devil made him doubt that God could do anything when his schedule got a little bit light. But, even though he didn't deserve it, things picked up. Gary doesn't deserve to hear how well his wife has learned to play the piano in only a year, but God made it happen.

"Ah'm gonna give a little humor here, somebody walked in an' thought it was Dolly Parton playin' the piana or somethin' ah don't know."

Weak pity chuckling ensues.

He brags about going on the reservation to talk about Jesus, even though the government says it's not allowed.

He mentions that he managed to sell the old van. Because God, of course.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+corinthians+15%3A51-58&version=KJV

Fewer errors than last time he read this, but he still stumbles around, and leaves off the last three words.

Make sure you're saved.

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49 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

While telling us that God can do anything, Gary says: "Ah got a bigger vehicle, mah stupidity, it's settin' in North Carolina."

 

Sounds like Gary blames himself for the truck being out of commision. He goes on:

"God give me somethin' else, something ah could just get on the road, 'cause ah had to go, and the church that ah went to, in New Mexico, didn't think it was safe enough, and didn't think it was room enough, so they went from a conv - Dodge conversion van if any of ya know what that is, to a mini-van, and that's what he wanted me to put all mah stuff in. The church give it to me."

He goes on to tell them that the Lord provided a trailer, for the tent and all of the Tupperware. He tells them how God made sure a guy had a homemade trailer for him, because the commercially made ones were too expensive. Gary was willing to pay his asking price, but the man lowered the price anyway. These things are possible with God. Gary wanted a trailer in 2016, but God wanted him to have it in 2021

I'm still very confused about Gary and his vehicles.  How is it possible that he grifted another one?  And what happened to the truck?  He liked it so much that I'm surprised he didn't just grift the money to have it repaired.  If it's still "sitting in NC" then it must not be totaled.

And he makes Becky take care of his beard?  Does she tie his shoes for him too?

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The Sunday morning service video begins with all singing Dwelling in Beulah Land, then Praise Him, Praise Him. Lots of coughing, no masks that I can see.

The pastor gets up and announces some upcoming events. He says he remembers when Gary and his family first came eight years ago, and how they all came tumbling out of a Suburban.

So, let's see how many of Gary's vehicles I can name. The Suburban, an RV (was there another bus/RV-like thing in there?), the red truck, the white truck, the Dodge conversion van, and now a mini-van.

Anybody know of any I'm missing?

He says that, before he came, Gary talked to him about the tent, but he didn't know where to put it up, and besides, it's cold out.

They all sing Solid Rock, the Hawkinses sing Just Any Day Now (Gary says "Amen! It won't be long now, either, amen?" at the end) and  I'm Ready to Go (which they are not ready to sing - this one needs more practice).

Gary comes up to preach again.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+24%3A42-44&version=KJV

Are You Ready?

Nobody was ready for the vahrus, nobody knew it was coming, this time last year. But Gary still thinks he had it last February.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Peter+3%3A15&version=KJV

Be ready to tell people you hang out with about Jesus.

He tells the story of the woman who got upset because of the way he talked about animals, and says "Ah'm not aginst dawgs, mah wahf used to have one."

Used to? What happened to Rascal? I hope that's just Gary being an asshole.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+timothy+4%3A8&version=KJV

Gary claims he doesn't like being the center of attention. Bullshit.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+timothy+4%3A6-7&version=KJV

We get to hear how much Gary hates Walmarts - haven't heard that in a while.

He says he is careful of what he says, and what he puts on Facebook, because people are watching him. Imagine what he'd sound like if he wasn't careful!

Gary mentions the guy who was told he had 48 hours to live. Gary hasn't heard anything yet.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=job+1%3A8&version=KJV

Job was rich - his wife could not only go to Walmarts, she could go to the mall.

Gary doesn't like trials and tribbilations, like being stuck on the road, or not having his Ford truck that he's missing because of his stupidity.

Gary, what the heck did you do to that truck?

The devil wants Gary to get off the road and get a job, and, as they say in Michigan, it ain't all gonna be peaches and cream, but Gary won't give up.

Gary doesn't get his favorite food, Chinese, every day, but he gets something to eat. "Ah never had that castroli, uhuhuh whatever that was we had last night" (it sounds like Jacob is trying to tell him whatever word he's searching for, as Becky chuckles, but I can't make it out - it doesn't sound like casserole, or Rocky Mountan Oysters Italienne, which is what I imagine "castroli" would be! ? ). 

He describes his beloved truck in detail again, and says he's not happy it's off the road due to his stupidity, but he'll drive what he's got. He also mentions that everything in the current vehicle works, and that Jacob asked if he'd ever had a new car before, so it's possible this free mini-van for which he is so grudgingly grateful is brand spanking new.

Gary does his usual bit about being forgiving of Job's wife (one of the few decent things Gary ever says), because she was seeing her husband in pain. This time, Becky has to remind him that she also buried ten children.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=daniel+3%3A25&version=KJV

Shadrack, Meshach, Abednego, and he's not reading the whole story because he knows they have to go watch I Love Lucy and eat popcorn.

The people in the White House hate God, will take away churches and Bibles, etc.

He talks about an Indian reservation at which he will be preaching later in March, where the pastor was warned last Sunday, by (I think) a police officer that attends the church, that "somebody called the law." Gary says the police didn't show up because the roads were too messed up by the weather.

But they'll be coming to get you, to close the churches, any day now.

Gary asks Becky the name of the Martyr book, says it perfectly well without her help, then does his usual shit about it.

Gary, stop "lookin' for the 'lectric chair."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+thessalonians+4%3A18&version=KJV

Gary's got a comforter. His parents and in laws are getting old, and he knows that someday he's "gonna get a phone call." The comforter will get him through.

Hey, that reminds me, Gary - did your mother have her surgery? Is she OK? Do you care? Did you need comforting?

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+14%3A2-3&version=KJV

Gary does one of his newer bits - he's expecting to have a separate mansion from Becky in Heaven, and she may not let him visit hers.

He tells them to pray for various politicians, so they won't go to Hell. "Joe Bahden - he thinks he's in the White House, he always talks 'bout goin' to the Waffle House."

But Gary wants to see a mansion that belongs to Jo Biden in Heaven - he says that, if Biden got saved, he'd love God.

Oh, Gary, you're so loving and open-minded, except for that not thinking that Catholics are Christian thing. ? Well, and a lot of other things.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+corinthians+6%3A1-2&version=KJV

KJV: (For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.)
BGV: (For he said, I have heard. Thee in a time accepted, and in the. Day of salvation have I secured. Thee: behold, now is the acceptable time; behold, now is the day of salvation.)

Gary's not doubting your salvation, but you'd better make sure you're saved.

The rich man's in Hell, still begging for one drop of water.

 

Edited by thoughtful
clarity
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2 hours ago, Xan said:

I'm still very confused about Gary and his vehicles.  How is it possible that he grifted another one?  And what happened to the truck?  He liked it so much that I'm surprised he didn't just grift the money to have it repaired.  If it's still "sitting in NC" then it must not be totaled.

And he makes Becky take care of his beard?  Does she tie his shoes for him too?

He makes it sound like Becky asked for the beard, and offered to care for it in return. Who knows if he is joking or not.

What happened to the truck, and what kind of time and money would be involved in repairing it, or even if it can be repaired, is still a mystery.

He did not need to grift the minivan, it seems. It was a surprise.

From the way he tells it, it sounds like the folks at the Saunders' church, in Thoreau NM were pretty horrified by what he was driving his wife and child around in. I am reading between the mumbles, of course.

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11 minutes ago, LifeIsStrange said:

Blech! The idea of grooming Bro’s beard is barfy to me.

Don’t forget Becky has to see him naked every day. Beard maintenance pales in comparison 

Edited by Black Aliss
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