Alyssa and John 7: Laura Ingalls, Something, Something...

[raayx01]

3 hours ago, freethemall said:

I'm shocked you're shocked. If you follow Alyssa or any of the Bates for even a little while this is pretty much the least unexpected thing they could do. 

Now if she or any of them would do a true quarantine,  with no interaction with outside households? THAT would be a surprise. 

I'm just mad that she and her girls can eat all that junk and still be so skinny

[Melissa1977]

1 hour ago, raayx01 said:

I'm just mad that she and her girls can eat all that junk and still be so skinny

I've seen it in other families. At young ages, metabolism helps, but eventually health (and weight) is affected. 

[lumpentheologie]

4 hours ago, freethemall said:

I'm shocked you're shocked. If you follow Alyssa or any of the Bates for even a little while this is pretty much the least unexpected thing they could do. 

Now if she or any of them would do a true quarantine,  with no interaction with outside households? THAT would be a surprise. 

I've followed them for about 11 years so maybe I'm just more easily shocked than you? I know they're constantly endangering their kids but seeing that with such a tiny baby will always be shocking for me. 

I have zero expectation that they're limiting themselves to outdoor dining or anything like that. If you're indoors (or in one of the 'outdoor' structures that are basically indoors) it doesn't matter if you're 6ft from others, since aerosols permeate the indoor air and linger for hours after an infected person left.

I agree that a quarantine would be shocking. 

Edited February 20, 2021 by lumpentheologie

[JordynDarby5]

7 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

I've seen it in other families. At young ages, metabolism helps, but eventually health (and weight) is affected. 

Yeah, my dad had that. It drove my mom and I crazy because he ate so much and didn't gain anything. He ate three meals a day. At dinner he always had seconds or thirds. Then would have at least three snacks after dinner always junk food or it would be a really big bowl of ice cream with chocolate sauce, nuts, candy bars and cookies. My mom and I had the you eat one candy bar and it goes straight to the hips. We'd eat two or three times a day and could only dream of eating a cookie or candy bar. It finally caught up to him after he turned 50. We both wish we could have had his metabolism. He was so lucky.  

[Johannah]

Portion size might also be a factor. She might be eating mostly chips and candy and fast food, but if she’s not binging on it, she might still be keeping her total calorie count low and not gain weight. It would still definitely affect her overall health and energy, but not her weight. 

[artdecades]

I do worry about their eating habits and their superficiality. If one of their daughters grows up to not have a super fast metabolism, I don't see Alyssa being supportive or accepting.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Alyssa went through a phase when she was around 14(?) where she wasn’t as thin as she is now. She wasn’t overweight at all. She was just slightly fuller. Then she lost weight (probably 10lbs), got her braces off, started dressing less frumpy, and met John. Puberty can cause weight gain in both girls and boys. It’s pretty natural IMO. But I could see Alyssa looking back and thinking she looked bad. When everyone else probably thought she looked just fine. This is all just speculation based on Alyssa seemingly always wanting to look picture perfect for the camera. She comes off as a perfectionist to me. 

Edited February 21, 2021 by JermajestyDuggar

[maple802]

On 2/13/2021 at 11:54 PM, mango_fandango said:

I believe Alyssa had Allie, Lexi and Zoey at a birthing centre. Maci was her first hospital birth.

That's my understanding. I'm pretty sure with her heart condition, the birthing center is no longer an option. 

[dawn9476]

Just now, maple802 said:

That's my understanding. I'm pretty sure with her heart condition, the birthing center is no longer an option. 

Yes. That is what she has said in their videos on YT. 

[Satan'sFortress]

On 2/19/2021 at 1:39 AM, AussieKrissy said:

Judgey mc judgerson here. Who the fuck needs to take a newborn out in the middle of a pandemic ffs ?‍♀️ Unless absolutely necessary? 

I'll see your Judgey McJudgerson and raise you Bitchy O'Bitcherson: I bet all of Rufus' antlers that the only real reason she posted that picture was so that everyone would comnent how great she looked/can't believe that she just had a baby a week ago, etc.

[freethemall]

On 2/20/2021 at 1:41 AM, dawn9476 said:

Speaking of Alyssa's morning sickness, do we know what causes her to get so sick during pregnancies? Does she get hyperemesis gravidarum, which is what Kate Middleton had with each of her 3 pregnancies and made her so sick that sometimes she had to be hospitalized temporarily. 

I don't think there's any explanation for why any women have more or less pregnancy sickness than others,  it's a bit random.  Her having a heart condition for instance probably doesn't make her more predisposed to it. Not much similarity between Kate M and Amy Schumer and they both had it with no explanation. Also simply continuing to puke into the 2nd and 3rd trimesters doesn't always warrant an HG diagnosis,  there are many who puke their whole pregnancy (me included), it's one of the many unexplainable joys.

[AussieKrissy]

4 hours ago, Satan'sFortress said:

I'll see your Judgey McJudgerson and raise you Bitchy O'Bitcherson: I bet all of Rufus' antlers that the only real reason she posted that picture was so that everyone would comnent how great she looked/can't believe that she just had a baby a week ago, etc.

Oh yes I didn’t think of that. I bet you are righ5. 

[kmachete14]

@dawn9476 @freethemall correct, being “really sick” isn’t the same as HG. I threw up every morning after waking up for the first 7 months of my pregnancy, threw up 3x per morning after arriving at work, and threw up before bed as well. That wasn’t considered HG and I never needed to go to a hospital or got severely dehydrated. Sometimes “morning” sickness just really sucks and is debilitating. I would even say that Alyssa’s morning sickness, like mine, could be a reason she doesn’t gain much weight during pregnancy and “snaps back” so fast. I hardly gained any weight because I just couldnt eat and felt so sick!! 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

My doctor also said the risk of covid to my now 1mo old baby was low and I should get out. Of course we took her to the grocery store and for a few walks, not to sit in a restaurant for an hour with the maskless. My daughter was in a wrap and nobody got too close. The fact that no strangers touched my belly and none have touched my baby is an upside to this awful pandemic.

[tanba]

4 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

@dawn9476 @freethemall correct, being “really sick” isn’t the same as HG. I threw up every morning after waking up for the first 7 months of my pregnancy, threw up 3x per morning after arriving at work, and threw up before bed as well. That wasn’t considered HG and I never needed to go to a hospital or got severely dehydrated. Sometimes “morning” sickness just really sucks and is debilitating. I would even say that Alyssa’s morning sickness, like mine, could be a reason she doesn’t gain much weight during pregnancy and “snaps back” so fast. I hardly gained any weight because I just couldnt eat and felt so sick!! 

It does seem largely arbitrary, though. Feels a little like „it’s just a women Problem, so what?“ My sister has HG and is currently pregnant. It took weeks and being admitted to hospital for her to be taken even remotely seriously, despite loosing weight and throwing up so much that she threw up blood. Why is it so normalized to puke during pregnancy? I’m not planning on ever being pregnant, but I just can‘t fathom throwing up multiple times a day and the doctors not doing anything to help me. 

[Melissa1977]

37 minutes ago, tanba said:

It does seem largely arbitrary, though. Feels a little like „it’s just a women Problem, so what?“ My sister has HG and is currently pregnant. It took weeks and being admitted to hospital for her to be taken even remotely seriously, despite loosing weight and throwing up so much that she threw up blood. Why is it so normalized to puke during pregnancy? I’m not planning on ever being pregnant, but I just can‘t fathom throwing up multiple times a day and the doctors not doing anything to help me. 

You are right: medical research priorizes men's health. But if I recall correctly, all the drugs that had been sold for morning sickness, had bad secondary effects, and some affected the baby. Morning sickness can happen a few weeks, or for months. You can puke or just feel nausea. You can feel very ill or just uncomfortable. It's difficult to get a solution for such a variable situation. 

[tanba]

26 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

You are right: medical research priorizes men's health. But if I recall correctly, all the drugs that had been sold for morning sickness, had bad secondary effects, and some affected the baby. Morning sickness can happen a few weeks, or for months. You can puke or just feel nausea. You can feel very ill or just uncomfortable. It's difficult to get a solution for such a variable situation. 

True, but I still feel that it’s something that women should get to choose. There are some meds with only minor effects on the baby, and even some with, as far as we know, no effects, like dimenhydrinat and meclozin. 
 

It just feels like as soon as you’re pregnant (or even before it), the world and especially OBGYNs cares more about the baby than you, which I hate. I understand that some women will think it’s worth it to have this baby, and that’s their choice, but at least in Germany, it often isn’t a choice. Our abortion laws are all kinds of fucked up as well, so you can often not even decide to not go through with it.

[ophelia]

40 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

You are right: medical research priorizes men's health. But if I recall correctly, all the drugs that had been sold for morning sickness, had bad secondary effects, and some affected the baby. Morning sickness can happen a few weeks, or for months. You can puke or just feel nausea. You can feel very ill or just uncomfortable. It's difficult to get a solution for such a variable situation. 

My OBGYN described something for my morning sickness and it totally knocked me off my feet. I was supposed to take it on an empty stomach and took it one morning at 5:40 am. At 6:30am I was fast asleep on the couch. I somehow made it to the bedroom an hour later and fell asleep again. I was sleeping until 2:30 in the afternoon with little breaks in between. It somehow helped me, because you don't feel sick while being asleep, but whenever I was awake I was still miserable. I haven't thrown up yet, though sometimes I wish I would in hope to feel better afterwards.

[just_ordinary]

31 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

You are right: medical research priorizes men's health. But if I recall correctly, all the drugs that had been sold for morning sickness, had bad secondary effects, and some affected the baby. Morning sickness can happen a few weeks, or for months. You can puke or just feel nausea. You can feel very ill or just uncomfortable. It's difficult to get a solution for such a variable situation. 

Very true. Also it’s very complicated to actually treat it. Many medications that work will still be distributed officially as off-label use because no one conducts studies on pregnant women. And in many cases they help with vomiting but not necessarily the feeling of sickness. (Which would be my personal horror. As a migraine patient, at least after vomiting I have a few minutes of feeling better and know the painkillers will stay inside long enough to work.) So, while you will be physically ok and not dehydrate you still might feel extremely bad. 
You can also experience severe sickness but not suffer from HG. 
I think pregnancy sickness and nausea should be taken more seriously though and thankfully I have never experienced that a doctor didn’t try all options (non-or medical). But I think that is also true for back/growing/symphysis pain (basically everything that is a normal symptom, shortness of breath and exhaustion. But obviously, I have no set “sick days” and don’t think twice if my doctor will give me an attest to stay home during pregnancy. It won’t affect my vacation days or my legal maternal leave period (6 weeks prior and 8 weeks after birth).

[Angelface]

57 minutes ago, ophelia said:

My OBGYN described something for my morning sickness and it totally knocked me off my feet. I was supposed to take it on an empty stomach and took it one morning at 5:40 am. At 6:30am I was fast asleep on the couch. I somehow made it to the bedroom an hour later and fell asleep again. I was sleeping until 2:30 in the afternoon with little breaks in between. It somehow helped me, because you don't feel sick while being asleep, but whenever I was awake I was still miserable. I haven't thrown up yet, though sometimes I wish I would in hope to feel better afterwards.

Alas, the “feeling better after throwing up” feeling really doesn’t last very long. I possibly had undiagnosed HG with my second pregnancy ; I was on NHS prescribed acupuncture for severe morning sickness (a midwife at my hospital was a trained acupuncturist) and it helped prevent the sickness from escalating. Having said that on at least one occasion I had vomited 18 times before 3pm and was home alone with a toddler only able to crawl to get to the loo to be sick again. Unfortunately the thalidomide scandal, which was tragic, has made many doctors reluctant to prescribe anti-nausea medication and many women are wary of taking it. 
I hope that you are feeling better soon. 

[freethemall]

3 hours ago, tanba said:

It does seem largely arbitrary, though. Feels a little like „it’s just a women Problem, so what?“ My sister has HG and is currently pregnant. It took weeks and being admitted to hospital for her to be taken even remotely seriously, despite loosing weight and throwing up so much that she threw up blood. Why is it so normalized to puke during pregnancy? I’m not planning on ever being pregnant, but I just can‘t fathom throwing up multiple times a day and the doctors not doing anything to help me. 

Oh trust me, it's the very tip of a larger issue of women, especially pregnant ones, not having their pain and discomfort taken seriously. For example, I've had recurring problems since before pregnancy I was trying to get treated - GI issues like constipation and constant bloating, chronic back pain, etc. Once I was pregnant it was pretty much "you have these problems because of pregnancy, too bad". On a more dangerous level I've heard these problems leading to undiagnosed conditions like eclampsia which can causes seizures and death (think Downton Abby Sybil and Michelle Duggar had Josie early to prevent that same fate). I read Lucy Kinsley's graphic novel about having a baby where she had all the symptoms of pre-eclampsia but the doctor just wrote it off as typical pregnancy symptoms like swollen feet. Well, she ended up in a coma and almost died giving birth. 

Medicine has made great progress but pregnancy and birth can still be scary AF. I'm either getting my tubes tied or having my husband have a vasectomy at the end of my current pregnancy with #2 because I'm fucking over it.

Edited February 22, 2021 by freethemall

[QuiverFullofBooks]

I’ve only been pregnant briefly, but it was long enough to hear “oh, we can’t do medical studies on pregnant women, so we have no idea what’s safe! Try not to take anything!” It really pissed me off.

[Essie]

I had HG twice, the second time was much worse, probably partly because I had a toddler to look after. Newly-qualified GP initially prescribed a really low strength anti-histamine, despite me explaining what I had been prescribed last time, which had actually helped. Because of what I feel was a failure to take me seriously that first appointment (at like 4.5 weeks), things escalated, it took 4 different medications to have any effect, and I ended up with +++ ketones which took 2 days on an IV to reduce. Literally couldn't keep a teaspoon of water down and I was so depressed. I really didn't want to carry on and I still struggle with how I felt years later. I feel like I let my child down.

Edited February 22, 2021 by Essie
Riffle

[kmachete14]

Yeah, I don’t mean to be dismissive of all day morning sickness, obviously I experienced it. But some things are just symptoms of being pregnant. The anti nausea meds didn’t work for me (zofran) so I didn’t bother. When you’re pregnant you have hormones coursing through your body and extreme energy dedicated to growing a life. There are going to be some common effects that are just what happens! Obviously don’t suffer through something extreme and communicate honestly with your doctor, but there isn’t a “cure” for everything nor should there necessarily one. You don’t always need to add drugs to your system. Pregnancy is a hard job. And I still stand by all day morning sickness as being categorized as normal, while HG is something that results in extreme dehydration of mother, malnutrition of fetus, other life threatening side effects. 

[just_ordinary]

3 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I’ve only been pregnant briefly, but it was long enough to hear “oh, we can’t do medical studies on pregnant women, so we have no idea what’s safe! Try not to take anything!” It really pissed me off.

What exactly pisses you off? The ‘don’t take anything’ approach?- if so I am 100% with you.

Just because it is normal, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get treated if you feel you need it. And your doctor definitely should listen or get a second opinion if they don’t find anything to match your claims. Still doesn’t mean there is something that will help. But at least the patient can feel treated seriously and knows the doctor put effort in. Trust shouldn’t be underrated in a doctor-patient relationship. 
I do think it is important though, that doctors give their professional opinion about your condition and about the possibilities of success and side effects of treatments. Dr. Google isn’t your friend in the majority of cases. You will make a decision affecting you and your child (as you will countless times after birth) and I think every parent wants to be informed. 
I think it’s is a big difference if I make a decision for myself (knowing myself and what I can tolerance- and changing my mind if needed) or for someone in my care (be it a child or someone else). Same goes by making a decision for me that is also affecting the life of someone else. They doesn’t mean you cannot come to the decision to put yourself first or to take your chances. No doctor will prescribe you something that is known to be dangerous to either you or the baby. Doctors withholding treatment should get in trouble. I have never experienced it- they mostly try to make you change your mind (more or less subtle), but interestingly in my bubble it was always the woman rejecting the medication and trying everything else.