Alyssa and John 7: Laura Ingalls, Something, Something...

[lumpentheologie]

13 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

Alyssa is talking a lot about nursing and night feedings. I think she fears to be accused of neglecting the baby because the Ezzo training and tries to show she is "flexible" and "attached".

Ezzo seems like basically the opposite of attachment parenting. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

Doesn't the ezzo training start at 3 weeks? 

[Mama Mia]

On 2/13/2021 at 12:26 PM, RosyDaisy said:

Any hospital in the U.S. that receives federal Medicare/Medicaid funding is required to provide stabilizing medical treatment for anyone including pregnant women and unborn babies.  In other words they can't turn anybody away.  I seriously doubt Alyssa was turned away at a hospital.  She probably went to the one she wasn't registered at and was referred to the one where she was.

It’s interesting that people see this as unusual. I had really fast labors, but I can think of several friends/ family who were turned away from the hospital in active labor - simply because their contractions weren’t super close together or consistent enough yet. Even after their water broke. It’s common to be told to go home, or go walk around, and come back when it’s close to delivery time. I can think of at least once that was a bad call on the hospitals part, and led to serious complications, but usually it probably makes sense. 

 Not the same as going to the wrong hospital, but I can see how that could happen easily, especially during Covid. A doctor might be affiliated with a couple of hospitals in the area, and you are mistaken / confused about which to go to. 

[SorenaJ]

How does it work if you have chosen a particular doctor or midwife to deliver the baby, but they are asleep or in the middle of another delivery? Do you have a second choice? A third?

[marmalade]

12 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

How does it work if you have chosen a particular doctor or midwife to deliver the baby, but they are asleep or in the middle of another delivery? Do you have a second choice? A third?

You would get the doctor on call. Wasn't it Jessa who claims she chose a homebirth for one of the kids when her doctor went on vacation? I think it was Ivy, who came about 10 days early. At any rate, Jessa didn't want the on call doctor and found a midwife to de!over.

[just_ordinary]

8 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

It’s interesting that people see this as unusual. I had really fast labors, but I can think of several friends/ family who were turned away from the hospital in active labor - simply because their contractions weren’t super close together or consistent enough yet. Even after their water broke. It’s common to be told to go home, or go walk around, and come back when it’s close to delivery time. I can think of at least once that was a bad call on the hospitals part, and led to serious complications, but usually it probably makes sense. 

 Not the same as going to the wrong hospital, but I can see how that could happen easily, especially during Covid. A doctor might be affiliated with a couple of hospitals in the area, and you are mistaken / confused about which to go to. 

You wouldn’t get sent home after your water broke here. As the risk of infection and pressure on the cord goes up, they would rather be safe than sorry. Normally you call up your chosen ward before and they tell you if they happen to be full and give you alternatives. But if you turn up you will always get examined and if you are past the point of going home they either take you or call an ambulance to bring you somewhere else if it’s enough time. You normally don’t meet the actual doctor that much if anything goes completely normal anyway. They are there for complications and are present during birth but if you are lucky and everything goes smooth are only in the background and to check on you afterwards. If you are not going private there is no way you can choose your doctor. And even then I don’t think you can. I mean shift plans are made not with your date in mind, and most people realise that their due date has only a 4% chance to be the actual delivery date. You often can meet the midwife team or at least some of them in advance. For the open door days (most hospitals have two per month) you might meet the senior physician but chances to be on his shift are extremely slim. They are often too deep in paperwork. But this is probably different in smaller hospitals/smaller wards or birthing centres.

[DalmatianCat]

5 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

How does it work if you have chosen a particular doctor or midwife to deliver the baby, but they are asleep or in the middle of another delivery? Do you have a second choice? A third?

Most doctors are just one of a few at their practice and one of them is always on call at the hospital for their patients. So even if your doctor isn’t on call, you’ll get one of their partners. Depending on the size of the practice, there’s a good chance that you already got to meet a few of the other doctors at your prenatal visits. On the actual day of delivery, doctors only come check on you every few hours and don’t show up to catch the baby until right before delivery. At large hospitals they usually have several patients at various stages of labor and bounce around from room to room. If worse comes to worse and your doctor, his partner, and the hospital’s on-call doctor are all in the middle of deliveries at the exact minute you’re delivering, Labor and Delivery nurses know how to deliver babies also (they’re actually the ones with you during your whole labor doing all the heavy lifting anyway). That’s why a hospital is nice...you have lots of options.

[Nothing if not critical]

39 minutes ago, just_ordinary said:

If you are not going private there is no way you can choose your doctor.

Agree and just wanted to add that this doesn't have to be a bad thing! Kiddo number two took her own sweet time, so I ended up with different midwives than I would have chosen, and they were great. In fact, I liked the one who eventually was there for the delivery much better than the one we had originally picked to accompany us to the hospital (and who had to leave to attend another birth).

[RosyDaisy]

9 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

I can think of several friends/ family who were turned away from the hospital in active labor - simply because their contractions weren’t super close together or consistent enough yet. Even after their water broke. It’s common to be told to go home, or go walk around, and come back when it’s close to delivery time.

Here in Tiny Town, USA all pregnant patients report to the ER and are taken to the maternity ward.  It is up to the doctors/midwives whether or not to admit or send home after the patient is examined.  What criteria they use I don't know.

[SassyPants]

If you’ve been getting consistent prenatal care, how do you or your spouse not know what hospital you’re suppose to go to? There was no mention of her needing emergent care. Was there no plan? Wouldn’t she have asked the doctor where s/he had del room privileges? 

[JDuggs]

15 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

If you’ve been getting consistent prenatal care, how do you or your spouse not know what hospital you’re suppose to go to? There was no mention of her needing emergent care. Was there no plan? Wouldn’t she have asked the doctor where s/he had del room privileges? 

It’s confusing to me too, but I haven’t had a baby in over twenty years so maybe things are different now. I can maybe think of a couple of scenarios. Maybe the doctor told Alyssa that s/he works out of Hospital A and B and Alyssa thought she could choose either, but her insurance only is good at Hospital B. Or maybe Alyssa could go to either hospital, but her doctor was already at the other one at that particular time. I always remember making a phone call to the doctor to get permission to go the hospital but maybe that’s different now?

[nolongerIFBx]

It had me confused. She went to hospital A after laboring for some hours at home (longer than any of her previous labors). Hospital A said she was 2.5 centimeters dilated and sent her home. She was home for an hour before they headed to the hospital again. Why they didn't return to the same one was not explained. Hospital B was 20 minutes away and she had 10 contractions on the way there. Hospital B said she was 6 centimeters dilated and offered an epidural which slowed the contractions down again which led to the labor continuing on for a total of 28 hours, 2AM Monday - 6AM Tuesday birth. 

[Mama Mia]

On 2/15/2021 at 7:42 AM, SassyPants said:

If you’ve been getting consistent prenatal care, how do you or your spouse not know what hospital you’re suppose to go to? There was no mention of her needing emergent care. Was there no plan? Wouldn’t she have asked the doctor where s/he had del room privileges? 

I can’t speak for them, but I some doctors are affiliated with more than one hospital, and particularly in a pandemic where you aren’t getting hospital tours, and which hospitals have the most capacity might change frequently - I could see how that could happen.

Different scenario - but for example, with my last birth 30 years ago- the Dr I went to had privileges at both major local hospitals, one was closer to me, but  I registered to have my delivery at the non-Catholic hospital so I could have a tubal ligation at the same time. But I could have picked either. Of my 4 deliveries, I went to 3 different hospitals, all in the same smallish county. 
 

Maybe hospital A didn’t admit partially because they were pretty full? Maybe the doctor was affiliated with multiple hospitals and was already at the 2nd one? 

Edited February 17, 2021 by Mama Mia

[AussieKrissy]

Judgey mc judgerson here. Who the fuck needs to take a newborn out in the middle of a pandemic ffs ?‍♀️ Unless absolutely necessary? 

I get she needs a break from her kids. But for ffs!!!! 

[Alysabeth]

16 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

Judgey mc judgerson here. Who the fuck needs to take a newborn out in the middle of a pandemic ffs ?‍♀️ Unless absolutely necessary? 

I get she needs a break from her kids. But for ffs!!!! 

I agree. Plus the baby is what, like a week old? Maybe stop having so many kids if it’s a struggle being around 4 of them ‘24/7’. Also, it’s fine needing a break but get John to watch them and go have a bath, don’t drag a newborn out during a pandemic! 
 

I know someone commented on it before but I feel like all this talk about sleepless nights is definitely to distract from the fact that she’s going to be doing that nasty sleep training with this tiny baby before too long. 

[Melissa1977]

31 minutes ago, Alysabeth said:

I know someone commented on it before but I feel like all this talk about sleepless nights is definitely to distract from the fact that she’s going to be doing that nasty sleep training with this tiny baby before too long.

Absolutely. But she is too smart to say it. In a few weeks, she will post that her little angel is sleeping all through the night by herself. What an easy baby, etc (Kelly is always talking about how easy her babies were...)

 And frankly, I find Alyssa very whiner . She has her #4, she knows that newborns nurse at night. Hard? She knew it. Her 3 eldest dress by themselves, are potty trained, are trained to look at a screen for hours, grab their own food... Her problem is that she loooves quietly (which I understand) and she is bored (which I understand) and should put kids at school/daycare and stop adding more.

 

[lumpentheologie]

I'm shocked that she's taking a week old baby to a restaurant right now. Even for fundies this is a new low. Maci's immune system is so fragile, this is very reckless. I guess I've come to expect recklessness towards other people's health but I thought they'd care a bit more about their own kids. 

Also I'm really surprised by how much they eat out in general. I mean maybe they're just going to Chick-Fil-A, who knows, but in general eating out is expensive! Before the pandemic my husband and I went to a proper sit down restaurant for dinner maybe 4-5 times a year. 

Edited February 19, 2021 by lumpentheologie

[Johannah]

My only hope is that in mild weather Florida, they’re at least hopefully sitting somewhere outside?

[Melissa1977]

51 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

Also I'm really surprised by how much they eat out in general. I mean maybe they're just going to Chick-Fil-A, who knows, but in general eating out is expensive!

They are addicted to junk food. Alyssa loves Mcdonals and goes often there. I doubt they go to a real restaurant, except for a special anniversary diner.

[kmachete14]

@all the judgers I can't fault her for taking the newborn out. Fresh air is still fresh air. Postpartum mental health is still important. I had mine in September and we took her to all manner of outdoor restaurants. We sat at the end/corner of the outdoor seating and just kept the cover over her carseat. I've taken my baby everywhere since week 1. She's in the baby carrier facing me or covered in her stroller and I stay 6ft away from other people. We even went to an indoor restaurant and requested a private room where they opened the window for us. 

My very highly rated doctor from one of the top maternal/fetal hospitals in the country told me to get out with baby and that risk to baby from Covid isn't high. I know this is a sensitive topic, so I am just sharing my experience. Although I wonder if Alyssa even took these considerations or just didn't even think twice like a lot of Covid deniers. 

[Alysabeth]

2 minutes ago, kmachete14 said:

@all the judgers I can't fault her for taking the newborn out. Fresh air is still fresh air. Postpartum mental health is still important. I had mine in September and we took her to all manner of outdoor restaurants. We sat at the end/corner of the outdoor seating and just kept the cover over her carseat. I've taken my baby everywhere since week 1. She's in the baby carrier facing me or covered in her stroller and I stay 6ft away from other people. We even went to an indoor restaurant and requested a private room where they opened the window for us. 

My very highly rated doctor from one of the top maternal/fetal hospitals in the country told me to get out with baby and that risk to baby from Covid isn't high. I know this is a sensitive topic, so I am just sharing my experience. Although I wonder if Alyssa even took these considerations or just didn't even think twice like a lot of Covid deniers. 

In most cases I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but I highly doubt Alyssa took any of the precautions that you did. 

[SassyPants]

If she actually is nursing, the baby would get passive immunity via the breast milk. HOWEVER, a one week only baby really doesn’t need to be going out at night. These people love to talk about how they love their blessings, but it’s funny how those blessings never seem to factor into any of their decisions. Those blessings are never anything beyond an afterthought.

[dawn9476]

Watched a few of their Q&A's on YT and I like that John says that it is entirely up to Alyssa how many kids they have and I really hope thinking about how sick she has been with each pregnancy really does keep her from having more. 

[freethemall]

19 hours ago, lumpentheologie said:

I'm shocked that she's taking a week old baby to a restaurant right now. Even for fundies this is a new low. Maci's immune system is so fragile, this is very reckless. I guess I've come to expect recklessness towards other people's health but I thought they'd care a bit more about their own kids. 

Also I'm really surprised by how much they eat out in general. I mean maybe they're just going to Chick-Fil-A, who knows, but in general eating out is expensive! Before the pandemic my husband and I went to a proper sit down restaurant for dinner maybe 4-5 times a year. 

I'm shocked you're shocked. If you follow Alyssa or any of the Bates for even a little while this is pretty much the least unexpected thing they could do. 

Now if she or any of them would do a true quarantine,  with no interaction with outside households? THAT would be a surprise. 

[dawn9476]

Speaking of Alyssa's morning sickness, do we know what causes her to get so sick during pregnancies? Does she get hyperemesis gravidarum, which is what Kate Middleton had with each of her 3 pregnancies and made her so sick that sometimes she had to be hospitalized temporarily. 

Edited February 20, 2021 by dawn9476