Maxwell 39: Like Sands Through an Hour Glass, so Are the Vests of Our Lives

[PennySycamore]

27 minutes ago, ElizaB said:

can someone explain the difference between being saved and baptized? 

It depends a lot on your denomination.  Let's assume that we're only talking about those denominations that do not baptize babies.  Being "saved" is often "accepting Jesus as your personal Saviour'  (even though that concept in not exactly in the Bible).  Baptism usually follows, but often not immediately. The form is usually by immersion, but not always.  There are evangelical denominations that do baptize infants though.  

I recall the time when my nephew had a talk with his minister, a Presbyterian, about how terrible it was that my grand-niece was going to be baptized as an infant.  How presumptuous of you, Nephew, to school the minster on theology?  And why the hell did you join a Presbyterian church when you knew what they taught about Baptism if you didn't believe it.  For that matter, why did you marry a Methodist?  She was christened as an infant.

[CyborgKin]

13 hours ago, anachronistic said:

@CyborgKin read that whole story and bookmarked it to read further chapters. I’ve never been to that site before. Are there more stories like it? It was so entertaining and obvious that the writer knows fundie culture very, very well. Thanks for the recommendation! I love things that take my mind away from life right now.

Glad you enjoyed it.  There's a lot of stories on the site but I don't think there's any others inspired by fundie culture.  I haven't heard of any and I doubt it would be a common topic for fiction.

I used to think the family of kids with names starting with 'Ch' was a bit extreme but I subsequently found the 'Not Enough Nelsons: When Mormon Naming Goes too Far' thread, and all those weirdly spelled names ending in 'ee' are frankly disturbing.  The 'Ch' names are tame by comparison.

[DutchMommy]

On 6/26/2020 at 6:35 PM, Melissa1977 said:

Unless it's a Bible for children, with little text and lots of pictures, I don't believe any of that.

Even the brightest 5 year old are unable to read the Bible. To long strange sentences and usually little letters. It is enterely possible to force them reading that, if reading means pronouncing one syllabe after another with no sense at all.

Ridiculous, pretentious, lying fundies.

Another sentence in that email rubbed me the wrong way: "She sings praises to God while she is folding laundry."
Say what?! There is no way this 5 yo comes up with this stuff without seeing it somewhere first. I think the mom is projecting her own behaviour onto her kid.
Or she's trolling, hard.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

7 hours ago, DutchMommy said:

Another sentence in that email rubbed me the wrong way: "She sings praises to God while she is folding laundry."
Say what?! There is no way this 5 yo comes up with this stuff without seeing it somewhere first. I think the mom is projecting her own behaviour onto her kid.
Or she's trolling, hard.

Given your post count title at the moment this cracked me up!

[IReallyAmHopewell]

On 6/27/2020 at 7:46 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Two Bowers boys and two Bontrager boys were ushers at Jesse’s wedding but only Denver got a flower. He must be the most special of all ushers. The hashtag makes me see Weddin’ gushers.

I went blog lurking on the Bowers family--I don't know them. I was hoping to see a possibly hubby for Anna or Mary...nope. Too cool.

[JermajestyDuggar]

23 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

I went blog lurking on the Bowers family--I don't know them. I was hoping to see a possibly hubby for Anna or Mary...nope. Too cool.

Their two oldest are girls and they married Carson and Josh Bontrager a few years ago. Then they have 6 boys in a row. And their youngest is a girl. Their oldest son is Charlie. I could see him with Mary Maxwell. They are similar image. But I just can’t imagine Steve allowing a Bowers boy to marry her. 

[freejugar]

no wedding pics yet?

[Odd1Out]

12 hours ago, DutchMommy said:

Another sentence in that email rubbed me the wrong way: "She sings praises to God while she is folding laundry."
Say what?! There is no way this 5 yo comes up with this stuff without seeing it somewhere first. I think the mom is projecting her own behaviour onto her kid.
Or she's trolling, hard.

Lots of kids sing while they’re doing other things, usually playing, and if all the kid knows is Bible songs that’s what she’s going to sing. 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

 But I just can’t imagine Steve allowing a Bowers boy to marry her. 

That was my thinking. Surely, ONE of those girls MUST marry or he will look like a failure in the husband-finding department. Sarah is already so far over the hill she's planning her retirement. Not good. Three girls born to fill mens' quivers and none married? Hmmmmm

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

That was my thinking. Surely, ONE of those girls MUST marry or he will look like a failure in the husband-finding department. Sarah is already so far over the hill she's planning her retirement. Not good. Three girls born to fill mens' quivers and none married? Hmmmmm

Speaking of him feeling like a failure, is he going to publish an addendum to their book on guys buying homes debt free before marriage?  

Technically Jesse did, but not living in it and incurring debt under the guise of rent goes against the spirit of his teachings.

If they were still touring and giving talks on this they'd have to address Jesse's choices.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m still putting my money on a Staddon breaking the Maxwell daughter bubble. They are almost as boring as the Maxwells.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m still putting my money on a Staddon breaking the Maxwell daughter bubble. They are almost as boring as the Maxwells.

A Staddon marriage would make the Maxwell's Waller adjacent, just like the Rods will soon be...

Oh please let there be an event where Steve/Teri and Jill/David meet.  I promise I won't ask for anything else ever again.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Anna seems to love kids. I assume she wants a family of her own. She’s 27 and Jonathan Staddon is 27. They both come from rigid boring fundie families with 8 kids. They each have married sons but no married daughters. They already have more in common than most courting couples. 

If they didn’t match, then Mary and David could get together. They are also the same age and are both the youngest of 8. Or a double fundie wedding. 

Edited June 29, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[browngrl]

Before I got married I used to have a  dating "spiel" - a sort of quick introduction to who I was that I used when meeting someone new. I wonder what Mary or Anna (or Sarah I guess but that ship seems to have sailed) could say when meeting a potential suitor. 

They could not discuss hobbies - Steve won't let any hobby get in the way of the Bible. They could not discuss current events - Steve won't allow media. They could not talk about music (not allowed other than Maxwell church or carolling ) or movies/tv (not allowed to watch). They could not talk about travel or school or job since the only vacation they seem to take is hiking in Colorado and their jobs all relate to Steve in some way and none has any higher education beyond the dining room table. I guess they could talk about the Bible or their love of children but aren't those assumed in the fundie world? I know the Maxwell's hold themselves up as great conversationalists but I imagine there would be lots of awkward silences. 

Anyway maybe one of the SIL's can introduce them to a suitor.

 

[Triplet3]

10 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Anna seems to love kids. I assume she wants a family of her own. She’s 27 and Jonathan Staddon is 27. They both come from rigid boring fundie families with 8 kids. They each have married sons but no married daughters. They already have more in common than most courting couples. 

If they didn’t match, then Mary and David could get together. They are also the same age and are both the youngest of 8. Or a double fundie wedding. 

Or Donald and Sarah! He's three years older than her, I think.

1 minute ago, browngrl said:

Before I got married I used to have a  dating "spiel" - a sort of quick introduction to who I was that I used when meeting someone new. I wonder what Mary or Anna (or Sarah I guess but that ship seems to have sailed) could say when meeting a potential suitor. 

They could not discuss hobbies - Steve won't let any hobby get in the way of the Bible. They could not discuss current events - Steve won't allow media. They could not talk about music (not allowed other than Maxwell church or carolling ) or movies/tv (not allowed to watch). They could not talk about travel or school or job since the only vacation they seem to take is hiking in Colorado and their jobs all relate to Steve in some way and none has any higher education beyond the dining room table. I guess they could talk about the Bible or their love of children but aren't those assumed in the fundie world? I know the Maxwell's hold themselves up as great conversationalists but I imagine there would be lots of awkward silences. 

Anyway maybe one of the SIL's can introduce them to a suitor.

 

To be fair, Anna and Mary have been on a few mysterious mission trips - they could talk about those.

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, Triplet3 said:

Or Donald and Sarah! He's three years older than her, I think.

To be fair, Anna and Mary have been on a few mysterious mission trips - they could talk about those.

Ahh a fundie triple sibling wedding! Just what this shitty year of 2020 needs to perk me up. 

[Triplet3]

4 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Ahh a fundie triple sibling wedding! Just what this shitty year of 2020 needs to perk me up. 

Two fundie triple sibling weddings - we've already had the Neely one! ?

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, Triplet3 said:

Two fundie triple sibling weddings - we've already had the Neely one! ?

But not all three grooms were brothers! Only two. Such a disappointment!

[moreorlessnu]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Ahh a fundie triple sibling wedding! Just what this shitty year of 2020 needs to perk me up. 

That would totally work for me! That, and a nice bucket of caramel corn to watch the live stream.

[kpmom]

God, I swear all the Maxwells are just the worst writers.

Today's blog post is written by Steve and he shows an example of something he and Teri used to call "nickel sheets".  Their kids would write out a passage of the bible they read that day and how they applied it to their lives.

Does Steve explain why he and Teri called them "nickel sheets"?  No he does not. 

Why do the Maxwells explain the most mundane things to the 10th degree, but leave gaping holes in other things?  Why even mention they called them nickel sheets and then not explain what they meant by that?

Maybe they got a nickel every time they wrote one?  Maybe the boys bought their houses all in nickels earned by writing those sheets out every day?

[Hane]

@kpmom, am I alone in being underwhelmed by the commentary written in that “nickel sheet”?

[LurkerOverThePond]

Yet another post about Bible reading... It's starting to look like the wedding post(s) truly are scheduled to appear after pizza cutter and naysayers part 2.

[Markie]

I’ve often shipped Maxwell women marrying Staddon men. But families are boring and extremely fundie. Having a sister within the family might help the women to adjust to married life with a friend alongside themselves. 

But I really, really, really want the Maxwell women to learn about K’nex, play with penguins and learn to play and love softball! I also would love to see Steve’s face when he caught sight of Momma Arndt’s legs.

[JulineD]

1 hour ago, kpmom said:

God, I swear all the Maxwells are just the worst writers.

Today's blog post is written by Steve and he shows an example of something he and Teri used to call "nickel sheets".  Their kids would write out a passage of the bible they read that day and how they applied it to their lives.

Does Steve explain why he and Teri called them "nickel sheets"?  No he does not. 

Why do the Maxwells explain the most mundane things to the 10th degree, but leave gaping holes in other things?  Why even mention they called them nickel sheets and then not explain what they meant by that?

Maybe they got a nickel every time they wrote one?  Maybe the boys bought their houses all in nickels earned by writing those sheets out every day?

I agree with everything you said! When I first saw the post,  I thought maybe they did get paid to write them...but I doubt it knowing them.  However, that left me wondering why the hell are they called "nickel sheets?"  Also, what a sad childhood they had having to have such a boring, dreary task to do everyday.  No ten-year-old should even have to think about such things as I saw written on that notebook paper.  My childhood certainly was not ideal, but at least my parents let us have fun!!!

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, Markie said:

But I really, really, really want the Maxwell women to learn about K’nex, play with penguins and learn to play and love softball! I also would love to see Steve’s face when he caught sight of Momma Arndt’s legs.

You and me both!  I wouldn't really wish a Maxwell on an Arndt, but to just be a fly on the wall when the parents meet!