Maxwell 36: Wearing What Some Might Call an Outer Garment While Dealing with Cancer in the Family

[usmcmom]

I am not a seamstress* so my thoughts are probably dumb but here goes.

I wonder if Anna brought a fairly large stash of sewing supplies with her when she got married. Maybe she had a lot of notions, at least, saved, so she wasn’t starting fresh when it came time to sew for a family.

I wonder what the aunties and Teri have done with the jumpers they no longer wear. Could the fabric from those be used to make dresses for the little girls? They all had a (rather pretty, I think) red print for a family picture. Anna has her jumper already.  She could make her daughters some with what the other Maxwell women don’t wear anymore. 
 

*I made the curtains for each of my kids’ nurseries.  I also made a couple of simple dresses for my daughter and matching vests for my son - for holiday photos. When they were studying the letter “v” in kindergarten, they had “vest day,” and I let them choose their fabric so I could make their special vest. Other than those simple projects, I have not tackled much besides one maternity dress for myself. I admire those who sew well and think Anna has so much talent.  

[danvillebelle]

Chris and his family live in the house he grew up in - Steve and Teri's old house. 

I can't remember if they said he bought it from them, but even if they did, I wouldn't believe it.  I don't think he paid a dime for it.

[kpmom]

3 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

Chris and his family live in the house he grew up in - Steve and Teri's old house. 

I can't remember if they said he bought it from them, but even if they did, I wouldn't believe it.  I don't think he paid a dime for it.

According to Steve, when they were talking about building a new house they approached Chris with the idea that he buy their old house and they would use that money towards the new house. 

Even if he did pay money for the house, I imagine it was below market value.  Plus he didn't have to do a lot of work on the house like Joseph did with his.  It was probably a good deal.

I've often wondered if they regret building such a big house.  At the time everyone except Nathan was still at home, plus their dog and pony shows were going great guns.  They claimed they needed room for the books they sell and for their musical instruments.  Most of that's dried up now. 

[fundiefan]

4 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

Chris and his family live in the house he grew up in - Steve and Teri's old house. 

I can't remember if they said he bought it from them, but even if they did, I wouldn't believe it.  I don't think he paid a dime for it.

They did say he bought it from them. It was all part of god's timing as at the time they were realizing they didn't have the room for their self publishing venture, Christopher had enough money to buy a home so he bought theirs so they could build the new one with the basement. 

At one time I think Christopher did have certifications, etc. He may still. Mostly Microsoft if I remember correctly. Unless he's kept up with technology, those skills are probably outdated. He seems to have moved on to the SEO end of IT & somehow learned project management. By himself, of course, since they don't actually do any educating they can't do from the safety of the compound. I don't know how you study project management without actually engaging, but they do a lot of shit without engaging. 

I'm sure he is paid well enough by his brother to afford to live. I don't think Steve would allow anything else because they have an image to keep up. And since their entire existences are centered on image, that would be a big crack in his philosophy that boys can learn and do anything to support their families & buy homes without a mortgage. 

If he actually does the jobs he's listed as doing, he could make decent money - from his brother, of course. Even in the real world, project management & SEO are livable skills - although certainly not the top tier or overly high paying; in my area neither alone would support a family of 8. (I am a project coordinator - just a step below project management. I get paid a respectable wage and can take care of myself. But, I certainly am not rolling in it and I could not support a family on my income. Even one more person, given the cost of insurance, would put me in a precarious place).  I have no doubt he gets a boost in pay to support his constantly growing brood.

And, wow. Teri is  totally in her element with school's being closed. She gets to harp on scheduling obsessively. 

Edited April 3, 2020 by fundiefan

[HerNameIsBuffy]

15 hours ago, freejugar said:

Steve makes such a big deal in preparing sons to provide for a family and buying a home debt free that I thought all the sons had work skills (mainly IT). Even the aunts have face painting and balloon making.

Why hasn't Chris been Steve shamed to get an IT certification or something?

Chris has a ton of Microsoft certifications, if memory serves.  If his resume is accurate then he has the skills in order to make a decent living, he's just not Magento certified which is his brother's business.

Again though - certifications mean nothing on their own, other than that you paid the $ and can pass a test.  By no means does that always translate into being about to do the work in a live environment.  

You know what they say about the difference between knowing someone in theory and in practice.  In practice it actually has to work.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, fundiefan said:

I don't know how you study project management without actually engaging, but they do a lot of shit without engaging. 

Because it's a handful of people, two of whom are his brothers.  It's not Project Management in the sense most of us would understand.

1 hour ago, fundiefan said:

I'm sure he is paid well enough by his brother to afford to live. I don't think Steve would allow anything else because they have an image to keep up.

And when Steve and Teri are no longer here is his brother supposed to support him in perpetuity?  

I worked for a family business where one of the family members (cousin to the owner) was miserable.  He was on meds to deal with work stress and desperately wanted to go into another line of work but he couldn't because he was making 85k for a job that on the market would have paid 40k max.  He called it a golden cage and wished he'd never taken it, but once he had a mortgage and kids and a lifestyle that needed that income there was no going back.

Nothing wrong with a family business if it's genuinely cooperative and based on business - but favors breed resentment from both sides.

[NancyDrewFan1989]

2 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Because it's a handful of people, two of whom are his brothers.  It's not Project Management in the sense most of us would understand.

And when Steve and Teri are no longer here is his brother supposed to support him in perpetuity?  

I worked for a family business where one of the family members (cousin to the owner) was miserable.  He was on meds to deal with work stress and desperately wanted to go into another line of work but he couldn't because he was making 85k for a job that on the market would have paid 40k max.  He called it a golden cage and wished he'd never taken it, but once he had a mortgage and kids and a lifestyle that needed that income there was no going back.

Nothing wrong with a family business if it's genuinely cooperative and based on business - but favors breed resentment from both sides.

I have a feeling that is the plan. Sarah and either Mary or Anna work with their brothers in their family businesses. I have a feeling that when Steve and Teri worked out their estate planning they made sure that their daughters will be taken care of. At least, I hope that they ensure the three of them are set up. But, I do have feeling that the eldest Maxwell son will take the leadership over the three daughters. The only question is how much freedom will they have once this happens.

For some reason, I have a feeling that at some point the Maxwell house will be sold after Steve and Teri pass. The other option would be Steve and Teri letting one of the married Maxwell's (at this point one of the grandkids could be starting their family) and the two of them moving into a nursing home or retirement community. To be completely honest, I just don't foresee Sarah, Anna, and Mary living together in the house once the two of pass on or move out. None of them have jobs to support the expense of living their. The other option would be Steve and Teri signing ownership over to Chris, Nathan, John or Jesse and the three sisters renting if they decide to move into a retirement community or nursing home. Honestly, I just hope that the two of them have something set up for Sarah, Anna, and Mary once they pass on or move out so the three of them have a place to live, even if it isn't under their fathers roof.

[fundiefan]

Steve did say that the girls will be left the house if anything happens to them. He did not, however, say how the girls will pay for it. Even if there is no mortgage, there are taxes & utilities & maintenance & general upkeep. 

[Bethy]

1 hour ago, NancyDrewFan1989 said:

I have a feeling that is the plan. Sarah and either Mary or Anna work with their brothers in their family businesses. I have a feeling that when Steve and Teri worked out their estate planning they made sure that their daughters will be taken care of. At least, I hope that they ensure the three of them are set up. But, I do have feeling that the eldest Maxwell son will take the leadership over the three daughters. The only question is how much freedom will they have once this happens.

For some reason, I have a feeling that at some point the Maxwell house will be sold after Steve and Teri pass. The other option would be Steve and Teri letting one of the married Maxwell's (at this point one of the grandkids could be starting their family) and the two of them moving into a nursing home or retirement community. To be completely honest, I just don't foresee Sarah, Anna, and Mary living together in the house once the two of pass on or move out. None of them have jobs to support the expense of living their. The other option would be Steve and Teri signing ownership over to Chris, Nathan, John or Jesse and the three sisters renting if they decide to move into a retirement community or nursing home. Honestly, I just hope that the two of them have something set up for Sarah, Anna, and Mary once they pass on or move out so the three of them have a place to live, even if it isn't under their fathers roof.

Steve and Teri have said (somewhere, according to FJ, though I can't verify) that their house will go to anyone left at home when they pass, but that doesn't really make sense. Here's what I see:

Nathan and Mel have six kids, probably not having any more, and they're fitting into whatever size house they're in okay.

Chris and Anna have six kids, I hope to God not having any more for Anna's sake, and they're in a house that's a mirror-image replica of the mothership, less some usable basement space. So they're set. They won't need a larger house.

The J-brothers all bought split-foyer houses. Joe has three kids, decently well spaced. I don't foresee them having a dozen. Jesse is a wild card because he's not married yet, though that could happen any day now.

But then there's John...who, though a rebel in many senses, seems to be all over the idea of having a million kids. His wife is one of twelve...they just celebrated their second wedding anniversary and their firstborn's first birthday and #2 is in the oven and already halfway baked, not to mention all the reversal talk at their wedding They married in their mid-20s so, barring some health crisis, I could see them being the Maxwells with the most kids - easily more than can be packed into a split-foyer. Not right away...maybe in 10 years or so. Around the time Steve/Teri would be leaving the home one way or the other. Might make more sense to have the three sisters go live in John's house and move John's brood into the mothership.

And I haven't even figured out where GiGi's house will fit into all of this. I have no idea how large it is, but probably not very, considering it was purchased for a retired couple (they moved to Leavenworth to be near Teri, right? Or was it the other way around? Either way Teri only had one sister so even if it's the house they grew up in, it wouldn't have had to be huge.) Maybe keep it in the family, rent out, and save for the first grandchild to need to buy a home debt-free?

[PennySycamore]

@usmcmom,  you may not call yourself a seamstress, but you are far more of a seamstress than I am.  I can sew on a button and repair a hem, but that's about it.

I was reading an article in Vogue about how designer (And Project Runway season 4 winner) Christian Siriano had enlisted the people who sew for his business to make masks after Governor Cuomo had put out the call for more masks.  He figured that the sewers weren't so busy making evening and wedding gowns at the moment so why no put them to work making masks.  They already had their sewing machines at home so that they could work a bit.  I love that they're doing this, but also love that Christian called his seamstresses and seamsters " sewers".  Sewers is gender neutral, but it looks funny.

[Foudeb]

Steve will never move to a retirement home, ever. Those places have rules that are not his rules. Never going to happen. Steve does not obey anyone else's rules. That's why the cult was founded in the first place. 

The purpose of keeping the daughters home is to provide free labour for the sons of course (they're paid pocket money so they can afford face paints, balloons and fancy coffee, but I'd bet anything it's not a proper salary) but mostly to look after their parents at home when the time comes. Also unpaid. They'll inherit the house in exchange and no doubt their brothers will keep working them for as little money as they can get away with as a form of charity. 

That's my opinion anyway. 

[fundiefan]

18 minutes ago, Foudeb said:

Steve will never move to a retirement home, ever. Those places have rules that are not his rules. Never going to happen. Steve does not obey anyone else's rules. That's why the cult was founded in the first place. 

The purpose of keeping the daughters home is to provide free labour for the sons of course (they're paid pocket money so they can afford face paints, balloons and fancy coffee, but I'd bet anything it's not a proper salary) but mostly to look after their parents at home when the time comes. Also unpaid. They'll inherit the house in exchange and no doubt their brothers will keep working them for as little money as they can get away with as a form of charity. 

That's my opinion anyway. 

I just had a vision - Steve trapped in a retirement home, forced to listen to someone else's "church" sermon. 

Oh, glory be. If only....

[Foudeb]

Oh from your mouth to God's ear!

[dripcurl]

37 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

I just had a vision - Steve trapped in a retirement home, forced to listen to someone else's "church" sermon. 

Oh, glory be. If only....

I 100% have always believed the folks in that retirement home have put up with Steve’s preaching just be around the kidults and the grandkids. The Maxwell’s “gospel” is just patriarchal-laden control freak measures applied to how families should function, there is no way whatever he preaches could be applicable to those folks. These are people who have already lived the majority of their lives. Most of them have had families, marriages, relationships, careers, and friendships in their own way. Even the more fundie minded residents could most likely not relate to most of what Steve says. There is probably a good chance some of the elderly women have had jobs and raised their babies. The men have probably have had female co workers and resisted lusting for them (I am aware of inequality and harassment in the workplace over the generations, but I doubt every man in that home was a straight up Don Draper). There are probably Christian folks there who have sent their kids to public school with few problems. All of the probably LOVE THE BEAST, and have sung nursery rhymes with their kids. 

[FloraKitty35]

1 hour ago, fundiefan said:

I just had a vision - Steve trapped in a retirement home, forced to listen to someone else's "church" sermon. 

and to be around women wearing contrasting buttons all day

[anjulibai]

Steve left his own mother in a nursing home, but made a big show of "helping" another elderly woman "return" to her home for her final years, despite needing daily assistance. 

It would definitely be justice for Steve to go to a nursing home, but that won't happen. 

[freejugar]

For Teri, the answer to every question is "the schedule"

[CyborgKin]

Yeah.

Quote

You could schedule him for play alone time. While it might not be his favorite time of the day, doing it consistently each day should eliminate his grumbling about a playtime alone because it soon is habitual—simply what he does every day. You won’t have him pestering you to play with him at that time and you feeling guilty because you can’t. I expect that he would soon be creative and able to occupy himself for whatever amount of time you scheduled for him, perhaps 1/2 hour.

A little look into the miserable existence of Teri Maxwell.

And she signs of "trusting in Jesus" which is an odd way to spell "The Schedule" but we know what she really means.

Quote

Are your husbands doing the shopping if they are home from work?

Well she had to post something funny for April 1st.

 

And back to Sarah's gaffe:

Quote

I can’t imagine how lonely it would be for a single person during this time, so please, reach out to that single person through text, FaceTime, phone call, or a letter to show you care.

I think she lacks the imagination and creativity to consider that anyone could understand her words as meaning anything other that what she wants them to mean.  And she's not alone in that, as many examples over the years have shown.

[fundiefan]

4 hours ago, CyborgKin said:

And back to Sarah's gaffe:

I think she lacks the imagination and creativity to consider that anyone could understand her words as meaning anything other that what she wants them to mean.  And she's not alone in that, as many examples over the years have shown.

It still kills me. As one of those poor, pathetic single people - - who lives alone, unlike single Sarah who lives with her entire family because she can't be trusted to live alone. 

One thing this pathetic single / solo person has in her existence that Sarah will never see is choice. Autonomy. 

 

[kpmom]

18 hours ago, fundiefan said:

I just had a vision - Steve trapped in a retirement home, forced to listen to someone else's "church" sermon. 

Oh, glory be. If only....

Ohhh, make it a female Episcopalian priest!

[Jigsaw3]

Steve may have plans for Gigi's house, but Gigi may have her own plans. She could leave it directly to one of the girls; she could leave it to a non-Maxwell relative; she could have it sold (for market value, not at family pricing) and the proceeds split between her descendants or donated to charity. Or the house might have to be sold in the future to finance medical care or a nursing home. I hope Gigi lives a happy and healthy life in her own house for many years to come, but I also hope she disposes of it as she pleases when she leaves, not as per Steve's plans.

As for the girls, I don't think Anna and Mary are at their last prayers yet. They're attractive, fit, healthy, and caring young women. They've been doing some traveling and possibly have a larger social circle than we know. The sisters-in-law, especially recently Elissa and Chelsy, have brought new changes and new routines to the family; even if everyone is still paying lip service to Steve, Anna and Mary still can see their brothers in happy marriages making their own lives. I have hope that they will form an attachment to a good man and make it through Steve's bullshit to get married, if that's what they want.

I still have hope for Sarah, too: she's younger than me, I'm still single, and I certainly don't consider myself on the shelf. The biggest obstacle is probably Sarah herself and her 40 years of conditioning. Steve and Teri have ruined any options she may have and she doesn't have the tools to get away.

[Black Aliss]

Catching up on the Tits2 blog and am reminded, not for the first time, how utterly lacking Sarah is in experience and imagination.

Quote

We’re thankful for family! I can’t imagine how lonely it would be for a single person during this time, so please, reach out to that single person through text, FaceTime, phone call, or a letter to show you care.

I have lived alone for big chunks of my life. Trust me, Sarah, alone does not necessarily equal lonely and most often it's a choice that person has made.

Being the sole caregiver for a loved one with dementia, on the other hand, is not just lonely, it's exhausting, overwhelmingly so. Respite is now impossible.  Responsibilities, always increasing, are now 100%, and guess what? The extrovert person with dementia needs social interaction, too, even more than the introvert caregiver. Watching a loved one's world shrink even faster than it was before this time is frustrating and heartbreaking. You want to exhort your readers to reach out to someone, maybe target a different demographic. I'm sure most of the single people are doing just fine.

[crunchycarrots]

On 3/30/2020 at 2:50 AM, FunDieDumDum said:

There’s an update from NR Anna on the blog. They are going with an oncologist in Seattle who does chemo in “a different way”. Whatever that means. ?

It seems she’ll have to go there for three months in order to receive the treatment. Isn’t her family from Washington? Not sure if it’s anywhere near Seattle, but at least it’s in the same state.

I know this has been discussed in the past, but does anyone know what the current state of their medical coverage is?  Are they still with Samaritan's Purse?  A friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer last year at the age of 39, had chemo, double mastectomy, radiation, and hormone treatment, and probably some other things I'm missing and she recently said her insurance paid out over $1 million for her cancer treatments.  I'm wondering how these people are going to pay for Anna's cancer treatments if they don't have health insurance.  Would Samaritan's Purse even cover chemotherapy?  Could this be why she's trying to do this lower dose alternative, to save money?  

[nausicaa]

5 hours ago, fundiefan said:

One thing this pathetic single / solo person has in her existence that Sarah will never see is choice. Autonomy. 

As another sad, single woman who lives alone, let it be put on the record that I would much prefer to wallow in sad, lonely, sinful self-pity for the next two months until my state is let out of mandatory self-isolation than field a single Skype call from any of the Maxwells.

[dripcurl]

20 hours ago, FloraKitty35 said:

and to be around women wearing contrasting buttons all day

And curvy CNAs! Scrubs can be flattering, actually.